Training Maisy

by Samantha Morgan

  “Yeah?”

  “So, how are things with you and Carter?”

  “Great. I mean sometimes he can be mean when we’re working out. And sometimes I like it when he’s mean,” Maisy said with a wink, knowing Brittany would get her joke. But rather than the smile she was expecting, what she got instead was a serious expression.

  “I mean really, how are things with you and him?”

  “Oh, you’re talking about the sex thing. Well, who knew spanking would ever be something that turned me—”

  “No, Maisy, I’m talking about the fact that you’re in love with him.”

  “In love with him?” Maisy burst into laughter. “No, I am not in love with him. I mean, maybe I am just a tad bit obsessed with his body, but definitely not in love with him.” But her protest sounded shallow in her ears.

  “Yes, you are, Maisy. I mean, the more you kept on talking about him, I started having my suspicions. Then I saw the both of you in there today, and I may not know him well, but I know you, Maisy, and I think you’re in love with him.”

  Maisy said nothing, just looked at Brittany. “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” she asked again.

  Finally, Maisy said, “Yes, Brittany. Yes, I’m in love with him, and I don’t know what to do because I don’t think he loves me back.” This declaration was said in an agonizing tone, and Brittany opened her arms to hug her friend.

  “How long have you felt this way?” she asked Maisy as she led her to the long couch, grabbing the box of tissues on the table.

  “I don’t know. Does it really matter when?” Maisy collected the tissue, and after cleaning her nose as best as she could, she sat up and looked at her friend. “What do I do now?”

  “I can’t tell you that, but I know you can’t keep sleeping with him without telling him how you feel about him.”

  “Really, do I have to?” Maisy whined. “I mean, we’re having such a great time, and I don’t think my lady bits mind much that he doesn’t have any feelings for me.”

  “Your lady bits. Funny. But I know you, Maisy, and if there’s something I know about you, it’s that when you have feelings for someone, you start building up this fantasy, and you become so invested in it that you don’t mind what the reality is. Sometimes until too late, and then, well, it’s too late.”

  Maisy thought about what Brittany said, knowing her friend was right and that she really did have to let Carter know how she felt about him. Then a thought occurred to her. What if he loved her, too? He did like her, but what if he liked her enough to want to find out if he had any feelings for her? If she thought about it, they were almost practically dating, at least sort of. They talked lot and were good at it. They loved spending time with each other. And they had amazing sex and were, well, fucking amazing at it. So she said, “Okay, I’ll do it tomorrow evening.”

  Maisy walked into the gym around eight in the evening. Brittany had gotten a call for an important impromptu business meeting to happen the next day and had left for Chicago that morning. Maisy already missed her and wasn’t ashamed to say their parting had been tearful; even Brittany had gotten a little emotional, too. She had been in the gym with Brittany in the morning, and while Brittany had spent the whole time harmlessly flirting with Duke, another of the trainers in the facility, Maisy had put herself through an intense workout session. Mostly because she was thinking of what she had to do when she saw Carter next. Luckily, he had been unable to make it to the gym that morning, and the sense of relief Maisy felt at that told her she really wasn’t ready to confess to him. But as soon as Brittany left, it was the only thing she could think about, and the more she thought about it, the more the possibility of him reciprocating her feelings sounded appealing and possible to her.

  So now she was back in the gym, earlier than she usually was if she was coming in the evening. A cursory look around the gym didn’t reveal Carter anywhere, so she asked Tracy where he was and was told he was in their workout section. She walked to the back of the gym and opened the door, taking a deep breath. And felt the pit of her stomach give way, her heart beat a million times faster, and the person currently holding that heart grunted as he pushed a barbell up. He was shirtless, and the way his muscles danced and moved was one of the most erotic sights Maisy had ever seen. The face above it was the most handsome she had ever seen, and she hoped the man who owned all of that had just an iota of the feelings she had for him. He looked up at her and gave her a nod as he finished the set and returned the barbell to the stand.

  He stood up and grabbed the bottle of water by his side. “Hey, heard you were here this morning. Sorry I couldn’t make it, and it wasn’t because I was trying to hide from your friend.” He smiled at her, and that smile right there did something to her, hit her right in the middle of the chest.

  Unable to help herself, she blurted it all out.

  “I love you.”

  She clamped her mouth shut after that, then became nervous by the silence. “I mean, I know we kind of, like, agreed that this was just supposed to be a physical thing, and I was cool with that, I swear. Then I don’t know what happened or how it happened, or when it happened for that matter. But I woke up one day, and well,” she shrugged and held out her arms. “I knew I love you. Sounds cliché, right?” She smiled a little.

  Then when he still didn’t say anything, she continued, “You gotta say something, or I’m going to keep on rambling here. Anything, I swear I would understand if you don’t love me back . . .” She looked on helplessly.

  “I don’t know what to say, Maisy. I mean, you’re great. You’re beautiful, sexy as hell, and real fun. Any guy would be lucky to have you. Any guy would be lucky to fall in love with you.” He looked at her helplessly, and Maisy knew, knew before he said it. “But I’m not that guy, Maisy. I’m not in love with you.”

  Maisy heard the words, understood what they meant, and was surprised when her voice came out clearly. “Don’t worry about it, Carter. I understand.” She tried a little smile. “I mean, I know it’s not like you can turn them on or off or anything like that.” She raised a hand when he tried to say something. “Don’t worry about me, Carter, I’m fine. Not the first time I had a silly crush on a guy who didn’t like me back. You should ask Ben in seventh grade, although I don’t think buying you ice cream and letting you copy my homework is going to help me here.”

  “You never know. Buying me ice cream just may do the job,” Carter joked, and Maisy laughed at that, although her laughter was a little bit shaky. Then he said in a solemn voice, “I’m really sorry, Maisy.”

  “No need for apologies, Carter. I mean, we’re still good friends, right? And this isn’t gonna change that. Besides, you still haven’t gotten me down to my target weight yet.” Then not knowing why, she reached forward, grabbed his face, and kissed him. Hard.

  She broke off the kiss, and with a smile that was the stark opposite to the feelings churning inside of her, said, “See you tomorrow, Carter.”

  Then she walked out of the room, her back straight, and her head up high. As Maisy walked out of the gym, she felt her heart break into a million pieces, and at that moment, she realized that even though she had thought of the idea of Carter not reciprocating her feelings, nothing could have prepared her for the painful feeling currently going through her. And maybe it was because deep down she had never wanted to entertain the possibility that he didn’t at least feel something for her. At least not with the way they connected, how in sync they were in everything they did. From talking about dumb shit like the color of the rainbows to the amazing sex they had. Maybe in her naiveté, she had thought it impossible to make such astounding physical connections without a sliver of emotional connection. And she was wrong. Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes, and she had to take a deep breath as she plastered a smile on her face, walking through the gym, waving at the friends she had made there.

  But as soon as she got into her car, she gave in and placed her head on the steering wheel as she l
et the tears fall. The ache in her heart was so poignant she felt it physically, and she wondered if she would ever truly recover from this. Unlike her breakup with Eric, where she knew she was leaving behind a scum, an asshole, and a very unhealthy relationship and moving to a future that at the time was at best uncertain, this time she was leaving behind a man she knew was the best, a relationship that even without officially being a relationship was the best she’d ever had. No future could be better than what she had had with Carter. After a while, she raised her head and cleaned her face as best as she could, and even though it didn’t do a thing to lessen the pain in her heart, looking in the rearview mirror, Maisy told herself she would use the pain to improve on the one thing Carter had left her, apart from the memories of them together. She picked up the phone and dialed Brittany’s number, silently praying that her friend picked up the call. She needed to hear some words of comfort, and even though she doubted they would do anything in helping to lessen the pain, she still needed someone to tell her she did the right thing. Because Maisy was starting to doubt that she did.

  Maisy didn’t go to the gym the next day, or the day after that, or the day after that. And every time Carter tried to call her, his call went to voicemail, Maisy’s cheerful voice telling him to leave a message.

  Chapter 18

  “You look like shit,” Jesse said to Carter as the latter joined him at the bar, the music in the club loud enough that they had to semi-shout to hear each other. Carter wasn’t ready to argue with that statement because he actually did feel like shit. It had been two months since he had seen Maisy last, although he wouldn’t say that Maisy leaving was the reason for the way he felt these days. But if he spoke the truth, he started feeling like shit, well, almost two months ago. Two months since she left him in the gym with that declaration that she loved him. Two months of trying and trying to call her and getting her voicemail, which made him wonder why she didn’t just go ahead and block his number. Of course, there was that awful incident when he had used another line to call her and she had picked up the phone, her voice sounding breathless for reasons he didn’t know, reasons he had no desire to explore. But it was her voice, and after weeks of calling and praying she would pick up the phone, he didn’t know what to say, had no clue how to start a conversation he had been waiting to have for weeks. So he dropped the phone and never called her again. He knew she was doing okay, at least if he went by what Chloe said anytime he snuck her into the conversation. And a part of him was glad that she was, but part of him wondered why she wasn’t suffering the way he was suffering. After all, she was the one in love with him.

  “Well, I feel like shit, too,” he replied as he lifted a finger to call the bartender. They both ordered scotch on the rocks, and as soon as the drink was placed in front of Carter, he chugged it down, grimacing slightly as it hit the back of his throat. Then he pointed at his glass for a refill.

  Jesse watched him, noticing the faint lines of strain around his mouth; more than that, he knew that there was something wrong with his friend.

  “Apparently you’ve been acting like it, too,” he said to Carter as he took a sip of his drink.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, Tracy called me.”

  “And?” Carter asked confused, and not in the mood at all for whatever Jesse was trying to drive at.

  “You shouted at Tracy, screamed at her for messing up a schedule by five minutes. Five minutes?”

  “I already apologized for that.” Carter looked down guiltily at his drink, knowing Jesse was right.

  “Then not only that, but you’ve been surly and snarly at the gym, and it’s so bad people are noticing and talking. What’s going on, Carter?”

  “What do you mean, what’s going on? One bad day, one mistake, and everyone is blowing it out of proportion!” Carter was almost shouting now, and all Jesse had to do was look at him to realize he was doing what he was trying to deny doing. Angry now, but mostly at himself, he stood up and dropped some money on the bar.

  “I’ve got to go; got some business at the gym I have to take care of.”

  “Come on, Carter. What the hell? You just going to blow me over because I tell you something you know is true? Whatever the hell is happening, we’ve been friends far too long for you to try to hide anything from me.”

  “It isn’t that, Jesse.” Carter tried a smile. “It’s just something I’ve got to work on. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” He picked up his jacket from the stool and, with a wave, left the bar.

  As he walked out, he thought of what he’d said to Jesse, about working on it, and wasn’t sure how the hell he was going to do that. Hell, he wasn’t even sure what the problem was. As he slowly trudged home, he realized he was now walking in front of Ralph’s, and his mind was instantly taken back to the night he had dinner there with Maisy. He glanced at the table where the three of them had sat and saw a happy couple sitting there. And maybe it was seeing two people clearly in love that finally made him begin to realize what his problem was. Then to the side of the happy couple, he felt the breath rush out of his lungs as he saw Maisy.

  He quickly ran to the glass and pressed his face against it, confirming it indeed was Maisy.

  She looked absolutely stunning, her hair wavy and flowing around a face that looked so perfect. Even from where he was sitting, he could see she had gotten slimmer than when he had seen her last and knew she had continued with her workouts. He wondered where and with whom, then remembered what he had done with her during their workout, and promptly snarled at the thought of any guy putting a hand on her. Then he saw she wasn’t sitting alone, and there was a guy beside her, and they seemed to be in earnest conversation. He didn’t have to worry too much as he saw Maisy stand up, waving at the guy in a dismissive manner as she attempted to leave the table. Then his vision went red as he saw the guy grab Maisy by her arm and attempt to drag her back. Without thinking, he rushed into the restaurant and headed straight for them.

  Chapter 19

  Maisy sat across from Eric at Ralph’s, wondering why the hell she had even agreed to meet him. She glanced at the menu that had been delivered to them, all the while trying to ignore the fact that Eric was still staring at her. Leering at her would be more accurate, and it felt kind of creepy. Not that she could blame him. She looked fabulous, and she knew it. A far cry from the slightly heavier Maisy he used to know. She had finally reached her target weight, and if she wanted to be truthful to herself, most of it was thanks to Carter, or specifically, the pain of their breakup. She could still remember that night, how she had managed to get herself home. Then cried herself to sleep. The next day, she had woken up to learn that sleep had done nothing to diminish the pain. She found herself craving the physical pain of her daily workout to distract her from the more painful sensation in her heart. But when she stood up to go to the gym, she realized she wasn’t ready to see him or talk to him.

  Not sure her heart could handle any contact with him, and knowing she had no claim to him, she joined the new gym that just opened across town and directed all her feelings of pain and anger towards the equipment. She ran till her legs almost gave way, did pull-ups, push-ups, lifted weights till she was way more fit than she ever imagined she could be. Yet the pain never fully left her, and even the smallest thing was enough to set her off. The color of a shirt, a man pushing weights, someone handing her a bottle of water, and she was immediately thinking of her Carter. Brittany was already talking of going out and maybe meeting someone new. But Maisy was not in the mood for that. Neither was she in the mood to take up any of the offers she had been getting of late. Guys asking her out for a cup of coffee or some even for a date all got the same polite thanks but no thanks.

  One thing she could thank Carter for, though, was exposing her to the joy of working out, exercising. It had helped a lot with the pain, and soon, it had turned into something she loved. Loved so much that even other people had noticed, and she was asked to take one class, then another. A
nd now she taught an afternoon class at her new gym. The pay wasn’t great, but she loved it, loved her class and her trainees. Loved seeing people work hard and then seeing the result of their hard work as they strove to reach their target weight.

  Then a week ago, she had gotten a call from Eric, saying he was thinking about her and how she had been doing since their “little spat.” Maisy had been too shocked to even muster a reply, so she just stood with the phone in her hand as Eric prattled on and on about all he had been up to. Mostly bragging about himself, then the last thing he said was that he may be in the area, and he would drop by to see her. But she laughed at that, thinking there was no way he could know she had moved away. Then he had called yesterday and said he was in Ashborne and could he see her. Maisy had no idea why she had said yes. Maybe it was because she had been standing in front of the wall-to-wall mirror in the gym, admiring her now-fabulous form, and wondered how it would feel for him to see the new her. So, she had said yes, and now she was regretting it.

  He had greeted her at the entrance of the restaurant, acting as if nothing had happened. But now Maisy saw the charming act for what it was. They sat down, and Eric continued with his charm talk, and Maisy found it easy to ignore him, for the most part. She was starting to regret agreeing to this meeting. Somewhere during the time when Eric bragged about his new raise and the car he was thinking of buying, Maisy realized she didn’t even care anymore what Eric thought about her. At least till she heard him say, “Got to say, it’s good you took my advice and lost all that ugly weight. You look better. Way better.”

  Maisy could only stare in shock at his statement, wondering what gave him the right to lay any claim to her story. Then he continued, “So the guys in my office are throwing a retirement party for my boss, and I’m thinking, why don’t you come with me? I bet they would be surprised to see how sexy you’ve become.”