The Fire Within Series: Books 1 - 3

by Ella M. Lee

  I took my hands from the shield and stepped back, looking away, my jaw clenched.

  “Has anyone ever told you what a prick you are?” I asked, my anger making me care very little about his reaction.

  He laughed slightly. “Not to my face, but they certainly think it.”

  His own lack of anger tempered my feelings, and underneath the rage, there wasn’t much left for me to draw strength from.

  “What does it matter?” I asked, touching my wrists where the shackles had been and wincing. They were raw and bleeding. “Finish it and be done. I’m a mortal nobody now. You could snap my neck in half a second. Why bother wasting your time on me?”

  His voice got very quiet in reply. “You know one of my gifts is future sight. You saw what I am when I’m not human, the shapeshifting form that calls to me the most, the part of my soul that I reveal outwardly. I’ll tell you this: emotions have scents. When you’ve been a wolf as long as I have, you learn them all. Fear, that one is easy to recognize. But there are so many more—love, ambition, courage, determination—all with their own terroir. Defeat is an interesting one, tangy and raw. I smelled it on you, standing there in the ruins of your horrible decision, shaking and shackled.

  “I was ready to write you off. Learn what I could about Flame and move on. But then you fought back. You pulled that impressive move on my guards, and out came a dozen emotions I hadn’t expected from you, and none of them were defeat at that moment, not even with my teeth at your throat.”

  He rolled his shoulders, relaxed. His magic shifted beautifully around him, shimmering in elegant waves.

  “I wasn’t fucking with you when I told you last night that there could be a future in which you remain alive. I’ve seen it, and you know what I am. But I’m sensing tears and hopelessness again right now. Where did all that fight go, that fire I saw in you?”

  I didn’t have an answer for him. I hardly knew what he was talking about. Everything I’d done since stepping into his safe house in Vienna had been done in desperation. Whatever fight or fire he’d seen wasn’t something I’d done intentionally. That was a side of myself that even I didn’t fully understand, and it seemed gone now—lost to fear and grief.

  He was still studying me. I could tell by the look in his eye that he was dissecting my every hesitant twitch. I hated that he seemed to know so much about me in so little time, with so little said on my part.

  “I know it might be tempting to give up. Easier than going on, certainly, and practically expected in this situation,” he mused. “I think you’re better than that. Take a hard look at your possible futures, at how this could go. You need to be strong and think of yourself right now.”

  I didn’t like riddles or blandishments or vague motivational bullshit. I merely watched him, wishing he’d go away, wishing he’d make up his mind and get on with whatever it was he chose to do with me.

  He smiled and shrugged, as though amused by a joke, stepping back and spreading his hands before him.

  “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but you have a choice, Fiona,” he said. “Think on that.”

  His gaze lingered on me for only a moment before he turned on his heel and walked out of sight. I didn’t like his mysterious emphasis on “you”, his condescending attitude, nor his calm demeanor and confident arrogance.

  I didn’t like how he said my name, as though he knew me. What had the wolf in him sensed in me? What had he seen with his gifts? Why was he going out of his way to give me advice and telling me to be strong when no one in their right mind could do that in my situation?

  I kicked the dropped shackles across the room as I returned to my mat and finished the food he had given me. It felt like ash in my mouth.

  I’d been abandoned.

  Flame had withdrawn their power. I was cast out. No matter what happened now, I was nothing to Flame, and they were nothing to me. I tried to make myself okay with that, but it brought tears to my eyes to think that they had left me all alone to die. My brethren, my group, my family—gone.

  Why had they sent the four of us to assassinate the Auspex? Now that I knew the full extent of our mission and its bitter end, it didn’t make any sense. Was I disposable, as he had alluded to? The mere thought sent a wave of nausea through me. I had always known Flame did things for their own reasons, but those reasons had never before seemed careless. Had any of the closeness and affection I had felt toward my clan and my commander been mutual?

  “Not your clan anymore. It doesn’t matter,” I muttered to the empty room.

  I would likely never have a clan again. From what I knew, Water took some captured enemies as mortal slaves for various purposes, but they rarely accepted them as clan members except in the best of cases. And I was not one of those best cases right now, despite the Auspex’s strange interest in me.

  Of the eight clans in the world, I only understood two of them extensively, and neither was Water. I didn’t know as much about this clan as I should for someone who was now their captive. There had been so much to learn about Flame that learning about every other clan had been a low priority.

  But none of that mattered anymore.

  I was alone.

  The Auspex wanted me to fight, but fight for what? My clan had abandoned me, my friends were dead, my life was in ruins. I spun to face the window. Seven billion people out there, and not a single one of them could help me.

  I studied the skyscrapers rising out of green mountains, the glittering ocean, the empty container of roast pork at my feet. Hong Kong, probably. The Auspex’s East Asian features and the fact that he had spoken Chinese on the phone put me about seven thousand miles away from anyone who knew me, which meant I was consigned to whatever end I would meet here.

  But again, what exactly was I supposed to be fighting for? What could my life possibly amount to now?

  I stood and walked to the windows. Close up, I could just barely see my reflection. Blood matted my dark hair and was sticky on the side of my face and neck. My T-shirt was torn at my collarbone. My narrow nose was swollen, a large purple bruise spread across it, and each shallow breath brought a slight twinge of pain. The bruising made my blue eyes look hollow and ghostly.

  I stared at myself and tried to dredge up memories that made me feel strong, memories from the last several years that reminded me of who I was and why I had joined Flame at all.

  My strength after the murders of my father and brother, which allowed me to take the first unfortunate step on the path to magic.

  The months spent searching the world for any way into a clan, determined to find what I knew must exist, my belief unrelenting despite dead end after dead end.

  The studying and trials and tests, each one pushing me to the brink.

  The first time I got a taste of magic, which was almost sweeter than the day I was granted it permanently.

  The moment I realized I could tame the fire of my new power and could triumphantly call myself a member of Flame.

  Finding my place among my new clan, growing closer to my new family, bonding over our struggles with the unpredictable magic.

  Learning who I was and knowing that I was part of something powerful and amazing, wrapping myself in that like armor.

  But that wasn’t me anymore. It had been taken from me. Suddenly and irrevocably.

  I had spent so long fighting for my identity within Flame. Who was I without it?

  It didn’t take long for the Auspex to return. I only had to suffer a couple of hours more, my jaw aching from trembling, my heart ready to give out from racing. I tried not to feel fear or defeat or hopelessness or any of the emotions the Auspex seemed to despise, but they were difficult to keep at bay.

  He narrowed his eyes at me, and I returned the gesture. He was freshly dressed in clean clothes: charcoal-gray jeans and a black blazer with lovely, subtle texturing. His dark hair was damp and messy and slightly curled at the ends. Why did he have to be so goddamn attractive? It was unfair.

  I felt an annoying pa
ng of frustration as I considered how I looked: filthy and disheveled, covered in the blood of a half dozen people, feeling light-headed and fragile.

  “Made up your mind?” I asked.

  He tilted his head at me in interest. “I am still considering keeping you alive.”

  “So that I can be your slave?” I asked. “How excellent for me.”

  He shrugged. “Or more, perhaps. I don’t know anything for certain yet.”

  “I thought Water didn’t take converts?”

  He shrugged again. “It’s happened.”

  I folded my hands in front of myself to hide their shaking. “And you want me? Why?”

  He narrowed his eyes again. “Do you think you are entitled to know my every whim and plan?”

  I could tell he liked the annoying amount of mystery he radiated, with his glares and his half-sentence answers. Time to try a different line of questioning.

  “What would I be getting myself into by accepting this future in which I live?” I said the words with intense skepticism.

  He raised an eyebrow and swept a hand in front of himself gracefully. “I think you should be asking what you’d be getting yourself out of by accepting.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Interrogation. Torture. Death. This isn’t my first time around the block, you know. I’ve been clanned for five years.”

  “Ah, five years!” he said, his tone mocking. “Perhaps I should report to you.”

  Although the words were cruel and taunting, they did reveal a helpful piece of information: the Auspex had definitely been in Water for more than five years. The exact amount of scorn my words evoked told me it was likely many more than five. Not a surprise, certainly, but I would take the opportunity to collect any facts about him I thought might help me.

  “Charming,” I drawled, sidling closer to the shield. “How do I know I’d be better off taking any sort of deal from you?”

  He smiled. He seemed to be enjoying our little back and forth, amused and entertained by my attempts to feel him out.

  Oh, this one liked to play, didn’t he?

  He was absolutely frightening and deadly, but this was indeed a game to him. That was something I could use. But what were the rules, and more importantly, what was the win condition? I wouldn’t push him until I knew, but he seemed to want me to keep him interested.

  “You’re showing some self-preservation, asking about your options,” he said, tucking his hands elegantly into his jacket pockets. “What changed? A few hours ago, you were ready to burn this building to the ground, your own well-being be damned.”

  I frowned. Could he read thoughts? How did he know I wanted to do that? Or was he merely making a coincidental allusion to my former allegiance?

  I smiled. “I can be fluid.”

  If he was amused by my weak water joke, he didn’t show it. I took a step back warily. It shouldn’t have been possible, but I already felt more at ease with him. I had a feeling he’d engineered it intentionally. One searching glance told me he had toned down his intimidating aura, tucking in his magic tightly and softening his expression.

  But a wolf in sheep’s clothing was still a wolf.

  I reminded myself of the press of his incredible magic against me yesterday, how fast and competent he’d been during the raid, the snapping jaws of his shapeshifting form, and whatever abilities he had on top of the standard Water Clan gifts.

  Commanders were unpredictable at best. Powerful and comfortable with that power. Sometimes it went to their heads. It was hard to maintain command of any kind without a certain reputation, without a particular personality type. I wasn’t out of the woods yet. One wrong move and I wouldn’t be courted for a deal any longer—I would simply be dead.

  “I could leave you here,” he said.

  He didn’t make it sound like a threat. It sounded more like he was trying to convince himself of something, or convince me of something. I eased off antagonizing him.

  “You could,” I said.

  That was true. He had all the power here. I was nothing.

  He was the one outside the cell. He was the one who had survived while my life was on a precipice. I didn’t need to be told again that my life could be reduced to a few more agonizing hours and a painful death, but it appeared that he was strangely lured by my existence.

  He seemed like he wanted to see where this was going.

  His eyes went back to mine, studying me carefully.

  “Tell me how much trouble you’ll be, little lamb, if I let you out of this cage,” he said, tapping on the shield with the fingertips of his right hand.

  My eyes widened involuntarily.

  “No trouble at all,” I said, breathing fast. “How could I be? I’m mortal now. You’re ten times as fast and as strong. I wouldn’t have gone up against you alone even with my power. I definitely wouldn’t try now that it’s gone. I’m not stupid.”

  It was true. He had magic and everything that went along with it: strength, speed, enhanced reflexes, the ability to stave off exhaustion and ignore pain. I was nothing right now compared to that.

  But I would be marking the locations of his guards and exits in case things went south.

  He tucked his chin in, eyes dark, his voice even. “For someone without magic, there are no exits to this building.”

  I froze. “You can read minds.”

  He flipped his hands up in what seemed like agreement, shrugging. “I’d prefer if I could trust you at least a little, Fiona,” he said, sighing. “I want to get you out of here and tell you the part of my plan you need to know, but I can’t do that if you’re looking for a way out.

  “So I’m going to be honest with you. There is no way out. It’s my plan, my deal, or execution. But I think you’ll find the offer isn’t all that bad. If things go well, you might get magic back eventually. You might find the family you’re looking for here. I certainly did. Now, assure me that you’ll cause no trouble. Otherwise your time is running quite short.”

  I thought it over. Every word could be a lie, but also maybe not. And what was my alternative, anyhow? He had just told me the other option was death. Probably a rather horrific death, too, and I didn’t want that.

  He crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes, impatient with my silence and hesitation. It occurred to me that he could hear every thought I had, that there was nowhere to hide from him.

  He’d been listening to my fears and worries and paltry assessments this whole time, using every one of them to judge me. I swallowed, trying to find my voice.

  “I’ll hear you out,” I said. “While I do, you won’t get any trouble from me. No escape attempts, no assassination, no subterfuge. I’ll be a polite guest as long as you treat me like one. Does that satisfy you?”

  “For now.” The two words offered absolutely no comfort or reassurance.

  He flicked his hand, and the shield between us evaporated. I stood still, not wanting to startle him with sudden movements or give him any reason to think I wouldn’t behave. I had seen how deadly he could be.

  After a moment, he tilted his head slightly toward the hall. “Follow me, lamb.”

  Chapter 3

  The building was a modern skyscraper. It was hard to tell the original purpose of the design, but I thought perhaps it was meant to be an office or apartment building. It had a lot of glass exterior walls and tall ceilings. The floor we were on was clearly for detainment. We passed guards and other empty cells and a messy reception and monitoring area, but the Auspex walked so quickly I hardly had time to look around.

  At the other end of the hall, we took a set of stairs up three levels. I was gasping by the time I reached the door he held open for me, still spent from the raid, from a fitful night of worrying, and from my magic being ripped away.

  “Third door on the right,” he said, gesturing for me to go first, eyeing my hand as I clutched my chest.

  He snapped his fingers lazily, and I felt the protective magical shield that was overlaid on the door e
vaporate. Even though I had been cast out of Flame, I could still sense magic, still feel it shifting around me, still see it if I cleared my head and focused. Once you knew what to look for, once you were attuned to that sort of power, it was impossible to unsee.

  In fact, the whole building practically glowed in my vision. Clan houses did that, filled with magic of all kinds and for all uses. It was common practice in all clans to use shields to magically lock doors, so every door in the building was probably like that. The Auspex’s shield had been impeccable and bulletproof in form, the type you’d expect from a competent commander.

  The rest of the shimmering came from magical wards—static spells laid into surfaces for specific purposes. It was pretty common to set alarm wards on doors, windows, floors, and other items of relevance. I could see them shining on the frame in the corner of my sight, ready to alert their creator based on various criteria. I wanted to stop and study them, but I couldn’t try the Auspex’s patience yet.

  The door itself was unlocked, and it opened into a bland personal apartment. There was a small kitchen, a living room overlooking yet another view of mountains, a bedroom off to one side, and a bathroom. Everything was upscale and tastefully decorated in neutral colors, much like a nice hotel room. There was magic everywhere. I blinked, trying to calm my vision as my eyes hung on the sheer power present in the room.

  The Auspex took a seat on the couch, gestured to the bathroom, and said, “Get cleaned up. Change clothes. I’ll wait. I won’t embarrass either of us by taking you in front of my clanmates looking like that.”

  The bathroom was surprisingly spacious, with a sizeable glassed-in rain shower, marble finishes, and a huge mirror. The windows were also covered with a shield and about a dozen different wards. He was right—there would be no escaping this building without magic.

  It took longer than I expected to shower. Washing all the dried blood from my hair took three tries, and scrubbing it off my face was slow going with the pain radiating from my broken nose. The luxury of hot water forced my muscles to relax automatically, and I winced as I stretched out my arms and shoulders.