Ryder

by Diana Gardin

  I have to get my shit together here.

  “Morning,” I greet him as I enter.

  He looks over at me, flipping bacon, and grins. He’s shirtless, with those sexy black sweatpants I love, and bare feet. My favorite version of him.

  In the kitchen. Talking to my baby.

  “Hey. Sleep okay?” He leans over and kisses my mouth, and I can’t help it when my hands roam over his broad, hard back for a few seconds while he’s close.

  Then I go over to Dove, who smiles at me when I walk toward her. She holds up a Cheerio, and I lean over and let her pop it into my mouth.

  “Thank you, Dove-girl. Good morning, sweetie.” I kiss the top of her head, and her little palm lands a slap on her high chair tray. I scan her, sitting in her brand-new chair.

  “I still can’t believe they did all this for us. I was thinking, and I’d like to have everyone who helped with this over in a few days over for a barbecue to thank them. It’s all I can think of. Cooking is something I can do. And they can meet Dove?”

  My voice rises on the last part, because introducing Ryder’s friends from work, the men he calls his brothers, and the women they’re married to or in relationships with to Dove is like introducing them to us as Ryder’s family.

  And is that what he wants?

  When I look over at him, he’s taken the bacon off the burner and set down the fork. He’s staring at me with an intensity I’m not prepared for, and my heart skips. “What? What’s wrong?”

  His blue eyes, as deep as the ocean, hold a note of trepidation as he asks me a question mirroring mine from yesterday. “Can I ask you something, Frannie?”

  My stomach flip-flops right before it drops to my toes, and I push Dove’s high chair around the side of the island so I can see her as I drop down onto a barstool. “I’m sitting. What is it?”

  He swipes a hand over his face before taking a deep breath and locking his gaze with mine again. “How would you feel about becoming a mom…again?”

  My mind goes completely blank, and I’m sure my face does the same. The room is silent as he waits for my response, and I suddenly remember that I haven’t given him one yet. “I’d say…I’ve never thought about it. But now that I’m with you, I guess the truth is that yes…I want more kids one day. Do you?”

  He swallows, watching me. “I have to tell you something. And the only reason I haven’t told you this before is because it didn’t come to light that it was going to happen until two nights ago, and then you were gone before I got the chance.”

  She nods slowly, her eyes narrowing. “I’m listening.”

  Dove sits quietly, eating her Cheerios and watching us.

  “A long time ago, I realized that Nevaeh’s family was mistreating her at home. I kept an eye on her as much as I could, made sure she had everything she needed when she was at the club. And I gave her my cell number and told her to call me, day or night, if there was anything she ever needed. It’s why she called the other night. But that part you knew.”

  She nods, her eyes going soft. “I felt something for that girl the second I saw her. And I saw the way you two related to each other. She loves you.”

  I nod. “Yeah. She’s special. And I decided a long time ago that if the opportunity ever arose, I’d foster her. The night I went to her house, her dad killed her mom.”

  Frannie’s hand flies to her mouth, covering her gasp. Her eyes wide, she just stares at me, shaking her head as disbelief floods out of her in waves. “No. Ryder, no.”

  My mouth tight, I nod. “Yeah. I shielded her, but she was right there, sweetheart. She was there. And so I called in a favor with Lawson’s sister, Lilliana. She knows a social worker, and my paperwork was fast-tracked. I need to have a place for them to visit and approve ASAP, but other than that I’m good to go. Until then, Lilliana is keeping Nevaeh with her.”

  I nod, understanding everything he’s telling me. He’s had this in the back of his mind the entire time, knowing that he’d have to tell me that he’s already made a promise to a little girl who was born into a family who didn’t deserve her. Nevaeh deserves so much more than she’s been given. She deserves Ryder.

  Ryder pushes off the island and moves forward until he reaches me, dropping to a crouch in front of me and placing his hands on my thighs. He looks up at me, the expression in his eyes earnest and somber.

  “What I need to know,” he says, his voice low, “is whether or not you want to do this with me. I’m already committed to Nevaeh…I won’t turn my back on her. But, Frannie, I love you. And I love your baby girl. Will you give me a chance to show you that we can make this work? That we can be a family? All four of us?”

  There’s a slice of fear in the clear blue of his gaze, and I’m struck with the realization that he thinks there’s a chance that I’m going to say no. But I jumped into this with both feet with him a while ago, and there’s no turning back now. Not after everything we’ve been through. Life can just keep throwing us curveballs, and Ryder and I will keep hitting them right out of the damn park.

  Instead of giving him an answer, I ask a question. “When can we call Lilliana? I think Dove needs to meet her new big sister.”

  Because full steam ahead.

  A huge grin transforms Ryder’s face from seriously handsome to gloriously gorgeous, and he’s back on his feet and kissing me, crushing his mouth to mine. Dove shrieks behind us, and he shakes with laughter as he pulls away.

  “Did you hear that, angel?” he asks, unstrapping her and lifting her out of her chair.

  My chest caves in when he pulls her to his chest like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Like he didn’t just meet her yesterday. Like she was born to be his.

  “You, me, your mama, and big sister Nevaeh are gonna be a family. And we’re all gonna be okay.”

  More than okay. We’re going to be amazing.

  The rest of that week flies by in a flurry of busy activity. I meet with an attorney to get my marriage to Eli Ward annulled. The attorney lets me know that I have grounds for an annulment and that my paperwork will be filed the same day. It won’t take more than a month for it to be complete, which means that in a month I’ll be completely free of him forever. I never added his name to Dove’s birth certificate, so even though he’s her father by birth, it’ll never be recognized by law unless he files paperwork to fight for it. And from where he sits in prison, he doesn’t have a leg to stand on. The district attorney who briefed us on his case is confident that Eli will receive the maximum sentence prescribed by law for his crimes.

  Ryder lists his loft on the real estate market, priced to sell quickly. Within four days, he has three offers, and he accepts the highest one. We start searching for houses, and prioritize the list of needs based on the kids first: a good school for Nevaeh, close to the same excellent daycare where Dove will go on the two days a week that I’m at the hospital, now that I’ve cut my schedule down by one day. We want a neighborhood that was between the NES office in Wrightsville Beach and my hospital downtown. The commute between the beach and downtown isn’t long, because Wilmington isn’t a big city, and we decide to put an offer in on a house in an area called Pine Valley, which is smack in the middle of the two. It’s like a small town within a small town, and it’s full of green, tree-lined streets and golf courses, walking trails, restaurants, and little shops. It’s adorable, and only a five-minute drive to the beach.

  Ryder and I agree that it’s going to be the perfect place for our small family to start a life together. I still have two months left on my lease, but Ryder says we’ll get through it.

  We decide to put the barbecue on hold for when we close on the house, which gives us about a month to plan and prepare.

  It’s Nevaeh’s first visit to the penthouse that really cements it all for me, letting me know that everything we’re doing here is for a reason, and that we’re going to be all right.

  Ryder went to pick her up from Lilliana’s, and when they walk out of the elevator into the
foyer, Dove and I are standing in the entryway waiting for them. I’m holding a gift bag for Nevaeh, because even though she isn’t allowed to stay with us yet, I want her to know that she is very much a part of our family and that we want her.

  That I want her.

  “You remember Frannie, right, Vay?” Ryder places a gentle hand on her shoulder to guide her into the penthouse.

  Nevaeh glances around, her eyes widening as she takes in the grand space. Ryder already explained to her that we’re just staying here temporarily, that this won’t be our house together. He told her that we’d all be living together as a family, and gave her the choice of whether or not she wanted to be a part of it.

  She agreed, telling him that she wanted to be a part of his family no matter where that was.

  Shy green eyes meet mine, framed by thick, dark lashes. I realize, with some surprise, how gorgeous this little girl is. She’s not as skinny as she was the first time I met her, much better nourished and with a flush in her cheeks. Her bronze complexion has a glow it didn’t carry before, and her clothes are clean and new. Her long, dark hair is still curly, but it’s brushed and not matted and tangled.

  “I remember you,” she says quietly. “Hi.”

  “Hey.” I give her a big smile. “This is for you. I’m glad you’re hanging out with us today. We’ve been missing you.”

  Her gaze lands on the bag. “For me?” She glances up at Ryder. “A present?”

  He smiles at her, nudging her forward. “Go get it.”

  She moves forward, approaching me like a scared rabbit. My heart is sliced in two, and I make a mental note to spend as much quality time with her as possible in the coming months, just loving on her. Showing her what it looks and feels like to be accepted and loved unconditionally. I hold out the bag for her. “Here you go.”

  We move into the living room and sit on the couch, me beside Nevaeh with Dove on my lap. Dove watches the girl with rapturous eyes, and I can see her little fists curling, itching to pull on those long curls. I hope she’ll at least wait until she’s introduced.

  Nevaeh pulls out a wooden picture frame with hand-painted white letters. It reads:

  OUR FAMILY

  THORN, FRANNIE, NEVAEH, DOVE

  “There’s no picture in it yet,” I inform her, “because we’ll take one together. And I thought you could put it in your room at the new house when we move in, in a couple of weeks.”

  Nevaeh stares and stares at the photo frame, her fingers rubbing the letters over and over again.

  “It says ‘family,’” she finally whispers. “No one has ever called me that. Not even my parents.”

  Ryder crouches down in front of her, the same way he did when he asked me if I could accept Nevaeh into my heart. “Well, we’re calling you that. And one important thing about family? We never give up on each other. Got that?”

  Nevaeh looks at him with bright, shining eyes. She throws her arms around his neck, and I swallow around the orange-sized lump forming in my throat.

  Dove shrieks, a noise she doesn’t make very often. But she’s clearly tired of being ignored by her new sister. Ryder chuckles and glances at Dove with love in his eyes. “Nevaeh, meet your little sister, Dove.”

  Nevaeh turns her full attention on the baby girl in my lap, and she smiles. “Hi, Dove.”

  Dove reaches for her immediately, and Nevaeh looks at me with uncertainty in her eyes.

  I lift one shoulder and smile. “You can hold her if you want to. But don’t feel like you have to. There’s plenty of time for that.”

  Nevaeh pulls Dove onto her lap, and Dove’s expression turns to one of pure joy when she finally wraps a fist around a thick, dark brown curl and pulls. Nevaeh giggles.

  “Girls.” Ryder slides toward me on the floor, looking at Nevaeh and Dove. “Pay attention and take notes. Let me know how I do.”

  Nevaeh is still trying to extract her hair from Dove’s fist, and I’m leaning over to help.

  “On what?” she asks.

  “On my proposal.”

  His answer freezes the blood in my veins, causing my mouth to stop working, my limbs to stop moving. My eyes snap to his, my fingers frozen on Nevaeh’s hair.

  Ryder’s blue eyes are shining, joyful, with a hint of intense triumph that he can’t hide as he pulls something out of his pocket. He grabs hold of my left hand and speaks, each word full of meaning and honesty and love.

  “The moment I met you, I knew I wanted you. The moment I agreed to protect you, I wanted to strangle you.”

  A choked laugh escapes my throat as I stare at him, tears stinging my eyes. Disbelief still forces my throat closed, and I’m having trouble catching my breath. Beside me, Nevaeh grabs my other hand.

  “The moment I knew your heart, I knew I loved you. And the moment I met your daughter and you accepted mine, I knew I’d spend the rest of my life with you. Tell me you’ll marry me.” He glances down, a sparkling engagement ring poised at the end of my finger. I stare down at it, the huge round diamond set in a diamond-studded platinum band winking up at me.

  My breaths coming too fast, I move my gaze back to Ryder. He’s watching me, and before that slice of apprehension can appear in his eyes, I gasp out my answer.

  “Yes. Yes! Please put that ring on my finger, Ryder.”

  Nevaeh takes Dove’s little hands and claps them as Ryder slides the ring onto my finger, and then I slide down onto the floor beside him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

  29

  RYDER

  When Frannie and that fucker Ward’s annulment is finalized the day after we move into our new house, I drop my head back against my shoulders and send up a whoop of pure fucking joy to the man upstairs. Because there’s no way things could have worked out this perfectly for us without a little help.

  It’s a Saturday afternoon, and we’re both in the kitchen, unpacking boxes. Dove is down for a nap in her room, and Nevaeh is in the bonus room upstairs, which we’ve set up as a space for her with a TV and comfortable seating for when she wants to hang out without us or has friends over.

  The house isn’t even close to being done, but tomorrow for the barbecue we’re planning on having people in the kitchen, family room, and backyard mostly.

  “So we’re getting married tomorrow.” The excitement leaks from Frannie’s voice, her eyes sparkling with it.

  I place the box in my hands on the huge, granite-covered island in the center of our kitchen and pull her into my arms. My chin rests on top of her messy bun, and I swallow hard as I think about what all this really means.

  “Yeah, sweetheart. We’re getting married tomorrow.”

  She pulls back, moving her fingers from my neck into my hair. Knowing what that does to me, I give her a warning look. “You don’t want to start with me right now, woman. Not when we can’t finish it.”

  A smirk touches her lips, and I bend to take her mouth with a groan. Killing me slowly, that’s what she’s doing. And she knows it. Every night she’s in my bed, I end up inside her. And every morning I wake up feeling so damn lucky she loves me the way she does, without conditions or limits.

  With complete trust. She’s let me into her life with no qualms, and given me the privilege of helping her raise Dove. Which is an opportunity I don’t take lightly. I cherish the time I get to spend with both of them, and having Nevaeh join our family is just an added bonus.

  A family I never thought I’d get the chance to have.

  We started Nevaeh in counseling right away, and she’s been doing really well. Her adjustment has been pretty damn amazing considering everything she saw and heard the night her mother died, and the counselor told us that part of the reason she’s attached to both Frannie and I so quickly is because she never really formed any sort of bond with her own parents. It broke my heart for my new daughter, but at the same time it cemented the fact that she was always meant to be ours.

  We just took the scenic route when it came to finding her.

  Frannie pulls b
ack and grins at me. “Later, almost-husband. Later, we can finish it.” Reaching down, she plasters an innocent expression on her face as she strokes the bulge inside my shorts.

  My teeth clenching, I narrow my eyes at her. “You’re evil.”

  She grins, taking a step back. “The best part about tomorrow is that we’re inviting all our friends, and none of them even know that they’re not just coming here for a housewarming barbecue to see our new house and meet our new family. They’re also coming to our wedding.”

  I take a couple of deep breaths, still trying to pull myself back from the tension-filled ledge she just pushed me toward. “It’s gonna be a huge surprise.”

  “Man, this is nice.”

  Bain and I stand at the sliders in the kitchen, surveying the big backyard. There are people everywhere, seated around the two long tables set up under the tent in the center of the yard, on the deck on the wooden chairs or the loungers, or around the fire pit that’s lit down on the south end by the fence.

  My eyes are immediately drawn to Frannie where she’s standing in a group of NES wives, including Berkeley Conners, Greta Abbott, Rayne Teague, and Olive Shaw. Their husbands all work on the Rescue Ops team, and they’re all gushing over Dove, taking turns holding her and talking to her. Frannie has spent time thanking each woman personally for everything she did when it came to outfitting us with supplies when we returned to the penthouse, and they all brushed her off with the mantra NES family sticks together.

  Lobelia has been a huge part of our lives, and she rushes past us now, bumping my shoulder and giving me a sorry, not sorry grin as she heads down to stand beside Frannie with a tray of drinks in her hands for the ladies. She visits at least once a week to see Dove and hang out with Frannie, and has been essential in helping Frannie get all the preparations set up for the wedding/barbecue.

  I find Lawson, Ben, Jacob, and his wife, Grace, sitting with Lilliana, Frannie’s friend Denver from the hospital, and his date. Grace is also a nurse, and she and Denver have been talking about the differences between working in a hospital emergency room and working in a doctor’s office.