The Husband Checklist

by Miller, Jasmin

  After leaning against the headboard, he sends me a look over the rim of his coffee, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “Uh-oh. Is it something I’m going to get in trouble for?”

  I can’t help but laugh at the expression on his face. Both wariness and amusement seem to battle his facial muscles, and I’m not sure which one is actually winning.

  “No trouble.” I shake my head. “At least I don’t think so.”

  He slowly rubs a hand over his face before focusing on his coffee. Somehow he manages to look like a model, even though he just woke up a few minutes ago in his rumpled clothes from last night.

  Totally unfair.

  I’m sure I still look like a homeless person, maybe even like I’m on drugs with the way my hands are shaking from the caffeine. But since Carter has seen me in worse conditions—puke and flu incidents included—he’s going to endure my . . . au naturel state at the moment.

  “Well?” He raises his eyebrows. “Are you going to enlighten me about what you need help with?”

  I clear my throat and open my laptop. “Yes. Of course.”

  He chuckles while I drum my fingertips on the keyboard, waiting for it to refresh. I peek at him over the screen. “By the way, what are you doing in my bed?”

  His mug stops halfway to his mouth as he stares at me. After clearing his throat, he chugs down what must be most of the coffee. “Well . . . you were pretty drunk and passed out on my lap, so I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  I vaguely remember him comforting me after I had another major meltdown, but I fell asleep on his lap? Man, I was really out of it. How embarrassing.

  “Thank you.” My response is mostly mumbled, and I’m relieved when the document finally pops up on the screen. I pretend like it didn’t happen and focus on my new project instead. “So, since we just established my drunken status from last night, I can’t remember what I told you, but my ex-boyfriend—on top of some epiphanies I had this morning—has given me plenty of reasons to think about myself and my future. Even though his parting reasons weren’t delivered in the best way, a bit assholish really, I can’t deny he had a point. So I made a plan for myself, a checklist of sorts.”

  Carter looks at me like I’ve lost my marbles. “Firstly, I disagree completely with what your idiot ex said about you. And secondly, you made a checklist? For what?”

  I nod, fresh pain shooting through my temples. Dang it. “Yes. You know how some people make lists for a project, personal goals, et cetera?”

  For a brief moment I wonder if he’s the right person to talk to about this, but since it’s the middle of the night for Michelle on the other side of the world, Carter will have to do before my brain explodes.

  Even though, my eyes ping-pong around everywhere but on him. “Well, I thought I could make a checklist to find a husband.”

  Once the words are out, I look up and see his eyebrows raised as he chokes on his drink.

  “You want to do what?” Cough. “Find a husband?” Cough. “And make a checklist for that?”

  “A husband checklist, yes.” My head bobs up and down robotically.

  Carter is a very fun-loving and carefree guy, but he can also be incredibly analytical, so I give him time to absorb the info I just threw at him.

  “Explain.”

  I try to ignore his expression and focus on my laptop screen instead. “Mmm, let’s see. Since my brain isn’t working at full capacity yet, I’ll keep it simple for now. I can always come up with a more elaborate list later if I feel like it. For now, I’ve mainly focused on the things Nate pointed out.”

  Carter grimaces and groans. “Please tell me you aren’t listening to anything that jerk said.”

  “He might be right though.” I hold up a finger to stop him from interrupting me. “Let me finish first, okay?”

  He frowns but nods. “Fine.”

  “As much as I hate to admit it, I think I understand where he came from. A little bit.”

  Carter’s jaw tenses as he quietly takes in my words, and I’m pretty sure I just heard him grind his teeth.

  “Nate’s a businessman first. We met in business school, after all. He wants to be this top-notch lawyer, and his public image is very important to him. I might not have tried my best to fit into that world.”

  “You shouldn’t have to try to fit in anywhere.” Carter’s outburst startles me for a moment. “It’s like he didn’t even know you if he thought you’d change for him.”

  I can’t help a sigh slip past my lips. “It took me a while to tell him what my business was, and I realize now that he thought I wasn’t serious about my career. Maybe he was hoping it was just a hobby, and I’d find something better and more respectable to do in the business world.”

  He rubs his forehead, looking more confused than before. “I thought you got your business degree to help build your jewelry business?”

  “Yes.”

  His gaze is laser sharp, one hundred percent focused on me. “And why is a jewelry business not good enough?”

  “Because it’s kids’ jewelry.” The words come out mumbled, and I throw my hands in the air.

  Carter stares at me for a moment before he chuckles, shaking his head. “That guy is such a moron, I swear.”

  More chuckles, my own mouth twitching in response.

  Hearing him laugh has always lifted my spirits, no matter what mood I’ve been in, and it doesn’t fail me right now either.

  “Stop it already.” Unable to hold my own laugh in any longer, I push at his chest a little but regret it the second I feel his hard muscles flex underneath my fingers.

  The contact makes him snap out of his laughter, making him stare at me with a serious expression instead.

  “Sorry, Jules. You sure know how to pick ’em. He’s obviously the idiot in this whole scenario, especially with your family background. Your dad and uncle are business moguls, and Ollie and I aren’t doing bad with our investment company either.” He grins again and shakes his head. “And then there’s you, rebel Jules. Ollie mentioned the business is doing well though, right?”

  “It is. I got lucky and had some high-profile moms buy some items from me. Once they started posting about it on social media, word spread like wildfire. The rest is history, so to speak.” I sigh. “Nate never even wanted to hear about the business. He said I was wasting both of our times and I should find a real job.”

  He pinches his lips together. “Why did you stay with him if he treated you like that?”

  Running a hand through my messy hair, I feel the frustration build in my stomach. “I don’t know. I guess I hoped it would go back to how it was at the beginning when we first met. We were a great couple back then. I think. Maybe we never were. I don’t know. It was just after Mom and Dad died, and I actually felt . . . content, something I hadn’t felt for some time, as you know.”

  Carter points a finger at me. “I get that, Jules, but that’s mistake number one. Don’t ever compare your later relationship to your honeymoon phase.”

  The laugh erupts out of me without a warning. “Where did you learn that, Dr. Love?”

  “I think my mom told me.”

  “Ah, that explains it. She’s on her what . . . sixth marriage now?”

  Over the years, Carter has learned to take his mother’s marital adventures with a good dose of humor. Ever since she divorced his dad when we were younger, she’s been trying to find true love wherever it hit her. Her words, not mine.

  To my surprise, he shakes his head and smiles. “Nope. Still number five. Fingers crossed this time.”

  “Wow, that’s impressive.” I smile, genuinely hoping this marriage will last for her. She might have always been a bit delusional when it came to love and marriage, but her heart is in the right place.

  We’re silent for a moment before I focus back on my laptop. “Anyway. I’m definitely not changing my job. I love what I do, and it pays more money than any other job I could get right now.”

  His eyes widen. “I
t does? Really?”

  “Yup.” I give him a huge smile, my lungs expanding on a deep inhale. “If things continue the way they have, I should be able to crack six figures this year.”

  His jaw drops an inch or two, and I can’t deny that I don’t enjoy this moment. I also can’t help myself leaning forward and gently pushing his chin back up.

  “Wow.” One word. That’s all he gets out.

  When it stays quiet, I decide distraction is the best tactic. “I have to agree with Nate that I have put on a few extra pounds over the years, and even though I hate eating healthy and working out, I can’t say I’m happy with the way I look either.”

  “Jules, you look absolutely fine.” He almost rolls his eyes.

  “Fine.” I snort. “Has no one ever told you that fine basically equals crap?”

  His eyebrows pull together, and I decide to not even bother with this right now.

  Instead, I tap my screen that’s already covered in about a million fingerprints.

  “Anyway, so the list is long and will probably still get longer. But when it comes down to it, I want to lose weight, become more interesting, a better cook, and dress nicer. I need to learn more about men and what they like and don’t like. Oh, and become a sex goddess.”

  He clears his throat. “That’s your husband checklist?”

  “Well, kind of. I mean, I looked up what men look for in women they want to marry and all that. And based on that info, I started my list. If I get through it all, I should have no issues finding a suitable husband, right?” My tone sounds a lot more confident than I feel right now.

  Nothing. Not a word.

  His mouth opens and closes a few times but still absolute silence.

  “I really think a male perspective is necessary to succeed though.” I stare at him, still waiting. “So . . . are you going to help me, Carter?”

  Chapter Four

  Carter

  Without a doubt, I must have the most stupid expression on my face after everything Julia just dumped on me. My brain still has a hard time processing her words.

  Especially the sex goddess part.

  Yeah, I’m definitely still stuck on that.

  I mean, what the hell is she thinking? That I’d help her get better at that too?

  That’s probably it. She isn’t thinking. Not one bit.

  She nudges me, sending an electric shock up my entire arm, and I feel like I’m in some alternative universe today. “Carter, stop overthinking this. I can see the wheels turning from over here.”

  Her chuckle is melodic, a smile automatically forming on my face.

  “Jules, I . . .” I swallow. “What exactly do you need help with?”

  “Well, you know . . . nothing crazy. I need a workout partner to kick my butt and someone to go shopping with to make myself a bit more presentable. You know, stuff like that.” She looks down her body as if she has no idea what she’s actually wearing. “I might have overdone the whole leggings and yoga pants phase a bit. I think I should save that for later on when I’m a mom. Isn’t that what moms are known for?” She brushes a hand over her black leggings.

  I shrug. What the hell is she talking about?

  To me, she looks like Julia.

  The girl I’ve known ever since I became best friends with her brother. I can’t even remember a life when Julia wasn’t with us. When we were younger, she felt a bit like a pest, because what ten-year-old wants his best friend’s little sister to shadow their every move? But as we grew older, it became normal to hang out together, up until her brother and I left for college.

  We tried to stay in touch and somewhat succeeded, even though we definitely didn’t see each other that often. But when their parents got into a boating accident a few years later, everything broke. That’s when we really drifted apart, no matter how hard I tried to get through to her. And I did try. Fuck, I loved her parents. They were always there for me, for their kids.

  In the small moments when I did see Julia though, she’d looked so . . . hollow. So, lacking in vitality, which had been her default nature. I hated it. I hated that she didn’t turn to me to console and comfort her. But she had the dickhead. Now? Chatting as if no time has passed, it feels good. Really good. But why the hell does she think she needs a list? A marriage list?

  “What are you thinking about? You keep going somewhere else.” She crosses her arms over her chest, making me once again aware that she’s still braless. I’m pretty sure I saw the outline of her nipples for a moment before she covered them with her arms.

  Wrong thing to think about. Especially given that I’m in her bed.

  “Sorry.” I give myself a stern warning and try to get my head back in the game. “I guess I’m still trying to wake up. How about we take a shower and get ready, and then we’ll go have breakfast at that little beach café you like so much. The rain has stopped, so it looks like it’s going to be a nice day.”

  She stares at me with wide eyes. “You want to take a shower with me? Together?”

  “What?” My voice comes out a lot higher than it ever should, and Julia is already cracking up. “Very funny, Jules.”

  “Sorry, you’re just too easy this morning. You should have seen your face. Priceless.” She’s still laughing when I finally get off the bed.

  “Half an hour or I’ll leave without you.” When I’m almost out the door, I look at her over my shoulder. “And please, Jules, put a damn bra on.” I slip out of the room before the pillow she throws reaches me, hitting the door with a thud instead.

  Forty-five minutes later, we’re finally out the door.

  To Julia’s delight, it’s actually my fault we’re late. Ollie had to call right when I got out of the shower, keeping me on the phone forever. As I suspected, he’s concerned about his sister and asked me a million questions, mixed with threats of doing some serious harm to that asshole Nate. Can’t blame him there. That douchebag better not show his face around here. All bets are off where he’s concerned.

  I also had to repeatedly promise Ollie I’d take good care of Julia, which is easier said than done with this wild firecracker. At least, she’s wearing a bra now. I’ve got to count the little blessings with this one.

  “I missed the ocean air.” She sighs as we walk, the beach café only a few streets away.

  “You haven’t been out here much, have you?”

  She doesn’t answer right away, and I give her the time she needs, knowing exactly how hard it hit both her and Oliver when they lost their parents. Julia was almost done with her first year of college, while Ollie and I were finishing up our third. It was such a shock for everyone.

  One moment they were there, and then they were gone. Just like that. The nicest parents anyone could ask for. They always treated me like I was part of the family.

  Her gaze is off in the distance, her voice somber. “I’m okay now. I couldn’t stand being here at the beginning. Wherever I looked, I saw Mom and Dad, and I didn’t have a clue how to handle it. It’s gotten easier over the years though. I still miss them like crazy, but now I can appreciate the memories we made here.”

  The small smile on her face makes me stop in my tracks. It’s a special smile, one not a lot of people get to see, reserved for when she talks about the people she truly loves—her family. I wish I could have helped her more when it happened, but even Oliver couldn’t get through to her until she was ready to go to therapy with him. She’s never been the same, but who can blame her for that? I’m not the same either.

  Tom and Mary Bradford were not only funny and warm, but they were knowledgeable about starting and running businesses too. There have been moments over the last few years that I’ve wished I could reach out to Tom.

  “Can we sit outside?” Her gaze is fixated on the small café ahead of us. It’s situated at the end of the narrow street, the sand starting right behind it. The ocean’s just a few hundred feet away, and the owners set up small metal tables and brown wicker chairs out back.

  “O
f course.”

  We make our way to the sand where Julia takes of her shoes before walking to one of the tables on the large patio.

  The waiter arrives quickly, and we both order their special breakfast plate, not finding it odd in the slightest that we still eat the same thing after so many years. I guess that comes with familiarity.

  It also reminds me of the fact that Julia is so different than a lot of the girls I’ve dated who would have been repelled at ordering anything but a miniscule meal. So many get small and healthy meals, just to stare longingly at my food throughout the evening. I don’t think I’ll ever understand that kind of behavior, even though I guess I can blame the Southern California lifestyle for that and the beauty standard that comes with living so close to Hollywood.

  Regardless, Julia feels like a breath of fresh air, making me realize how much I’ve missed her. How easy it’s always been with her to just be. No expectations. Simple and easy.

  Julia clicks her fingernails on the table, amusement dancing in her eyes. “So . . . I think you’ve had enough time to fully wake up. Are you going to help me?”

  I take her in, her almost makeup-free face—except for mascara from the looks of it, not that she needs it. The eyelashes framing her brown eyes have always been incredibly long and thick. I blew my fair share of them off her fingers when we were young—all for good luck of course. This natural look suits her. It can be fun to see women dolled up for a night out, but I prefer her like this. The same goes for her brown hair. It’s twisted in some bun on top of her head. It might resemble a bird’s nest a little, but it looks good on her.

  Clearing my throat, I will my brain to focus on her question, even though it’s far more interested in reacquainting itself with every little facet of her. “I don’t think you should change anything about yourself. At least not for the reasons you told me. Don’t you think you should find someone who loves you exactly the way you are?”

  She regards me for a moment with her gorgeous eyes before she leans back in her chair. “You’re right, but I still want all those things.”