The Husband Checklist

by Miller, Jasmin

  The ice cream incident lessened some of the distance between us, and I feel her soft breath on my face. The buzz from her previous touch lingers, making me even more aware of her.

  It was crazy, absolutely fucking nuts, to think I could have sex with her and go back to normal afterward. Maybe I can plead momentary insanity? I definitely wasn’t thinking straight, that’s for sure.

  I used to fantasize about this girl on an almost daily basis when I was younger. Back then, it was easy to write off as crazy teenage hormones, especially since she was around constantly. Now, that excuse doesn’t work anymore.

  Shit. I’m in so much trouble with this one. No other woman has ever driven me this insane or made me doubt my mind so much. My thoughts wander to Ollie and the consequences that might come from revealing our secret to him.

  Julia pushes my shoulder. “Earth to Carter.”

  I will my brain to focus on our conversation and give her an apologetic smile. “The guys dared me to draw a mustache on your face. What was I supposed to do?”

  Slapping a hand on her knee, she shakes her head. “Silly me. Here I thought saying no would have been an option.”

  “We were teenagers. If there’s ever a time to do stupid things, it’s that time.”

  “True.” A flicker of a smile passes her lips. “Plus, you paid for your mistake.”

  “No kidding, Miss Nuts-Punch. I still have occasional phantom pain.”

  Her lips are still lifted at the corners, but after a moment, the smile doesn’t reach her eyes anymore. Instead, the skin between her eyebrows furrows, pinched together in a tight line. “Does he really need to know?”

  I know who she’s talking about. It was just a matter of time before we came back to this dreaded topic. “I think so.”

  Leaning back, she links her hands behind her head and stares out at the lapping water. “Why now? Why at all?”

  I sit back too, following her example and looking at the ocean. “My mom mentioned something yesterday that got me thinking. It was about missing out on something special and having regrets, something along those lines. One of the things I thought about was Ollie. You will always be his sister, no matter what, so I’m not too worried about your relationship with him. Not to mention that I’ll be the bad guy in this anyway. But I think it would be so much worse if he found out later and maybe not even from us. He’d be so disappointed, and I’m not certain our friendship would survive that. I expect him to be livid regardless, but hopefully, he can still get over it at this point.”

  “Hmm.” Her face is lowered so I can’t read her expression well, but she looks despondent.

  I move around, suddenly feeling restless. “And you know how much he values honesty. That’s always been his number-one priority when it comes to not only his professional life but his private one as well.”

  Julia lets out a pained sigh before rubbing her face with her hands. “Ugh, I know. I don’t like keeping this from him any more than you do, but at the same time, I don’t want to drive a wedge between anyone either.”

  “I knew what we were doing, so I definitely can’t feign ignorance or naivety.”

  “Neither can I.” She studies me for a moment, her features tight in concentration. “Are you really sure about this?”

  I nod, wanting her to know I’m serious about this. The conversation with my mom started a whole avalanche of thoughts I’m still trying to wade through, but dealing with Oliver first makes the most sense to me. Once that’s done, I can move on to the next hurdle. I’m not a terrible human, and as long as Julia isn’t hurt, Ollie can’t be too upset. I didn’t disrespect her in any way, nor would I. But he’s fully aware of my views on long-term relationships.

  It took me a while to accept that he was serious about Cora, so his position on me being the man for Jules won’t even be on the spectrum. He flat-out laughed at Cora’s suggestion that Jules and I were more than friends. Didn’t give it a moment’s thought. So, that’s what I’m working with, and it’s why I need to make changes. “I’ve thought about it a lot. I expect him to kick me out, but it’s probably time for me to find my own place anyway. Being roommates was always a temporary solution.”

  Her eyes go wide. “Poor Ollie will be all alone again.”

  The fact she’s worried about something like that makes me feel a little lighter, like the worst is over. At least when it comes to this conversation. “He’s a big boy, Jules, and lived alone for years before we two homeless dorks came along. Plus, he’s spending most of his time with Cora anyway. Maybe this will allow them to take the next step too, who knows?”

  The bright smile is back on her face at the mention of Cora. “I’d like that. She’s awesome, and I think they’re really great together.”

  “I agree.”

  Since Ollie and Cora won’t be back for two more days, we’ll need to wait until then. Despite not looking forward to the confrontation, or what will happen afterward, I can’t ignore the relief in my chest at the thought of having it out in the open.

  No more hiding, and no more secrets.

  It will allow me to move on, to get my jumbled thoughts in line to go after what I want. The gorgeous, quick-witted, and kind girl in front of me. Because I’ve finally worked out that I want more. Ollie will have to deal.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Julia

  The short distance from the parking lot to the little bistro feels like one hundred miles rather than one hundred feet. That might be due to my nerves though, since they’re all over the place, to the point that I feel slightly nauseated. My brother and Cora flew back late last night, and both he and Carter thought it would be a great idea to meet here for lunch.

  Normally I like it here, this cute little place in the middle of the Malibu downtown area a nice place for an escape.

  But today is different.

  So different.

  Knowing Carter and Ollie are waiting for me—thanks to both letting me know via texts—and knowing what Carter is about to do, has done nothing but induce the desire to flee.

  When I spot them at a table outside, I’m surprised to see Cora next to my brother. I was planning on sitting next to him to try and diffuse the situation a little bit at least, but that option is out the window now, and the only available seat is next to Carter.

  After taking what feels like the hundredth deep breath since I left the house, I sit on the chair that Carter’s already pulled out for me.

  “Hey, guys.” I lower myself onto the warm metal and turn to Cora. “I didn’t know you were going to be here too. Good to see you.”

  She glances in Carter’s direction before settling back on me with a welcoming smile. “I thought it would be nice to catch up with you two.”

  I’m still distracted by the fact that she’s here when Carter wants to spill the beans. On second thought, he could be the reason Cora’s here. Maybe he asked her to run interference for my brother. That might actually work.

  But since she keeps crossing and uncrossing her legs, I have my answer.

  My brother is the only one who seems normal, grinning at me. “So, show me the pictures of the new place. Carter said it looks like you’ll be able to move there this week. That’s amazing.”

  I flop back in my chair, trying to get my trembling hands under control. I’m not sure if I should be relieved we’re not diving into the nitty-gritty right away, or nervous I have to endure this torture longer, knowing it will happen. “Of course. Let me show you.”

  A waitress comes to take our order. Once she’s gone, I show Oliver and Cora the pictures of the apartment, telling them everything I can remember about the place. Carter is quiet throughout the whole exchange. Since it’s not his apartment though, there’s no reason to dwell on that fact. He’s about to tell Ollie the truth so he won’t risk his friendship with him, not because he realized he’s madly in love with me and wants to profess it to the world.

  Wow. Nice one, Jules. That went downhill pretty fast.

 
It’s an old crush. Ignore all those silly feelings. You knew what you were doing, and now it’s done. Over.

  My brother seems satisfied with the apartment, which makes me happy, as he does know a lot about the real estate market.

  After taking a drink of his water, he puts it back on the table with a loud clunk. “Oh, I totally forgot. We ran into one of Cora’s friends at the airport.” Both Cora and Carter stiffen. “He’s looking for a date for a restaurant opening next month. I’m not sure if you’re ready for that yet, but I thought I’d throw it out there. He seemed like a nice guy.”

  “Jules and I were together in Vegas.”

  Oh. My. Gosh.

  It’s eerily quiet—except for the sound of blood rushing in my ears—and I’m sure I’d hear if a needle hit the ground. Or maybe I’m sitting in my own soundproof bubble, because that’s definitely what it feels like.

  Oliver looks at Carter with a tilt of his head while I hold my breath. Cora doesn’t seem to fare much better, her eyes as wide as they go.

  “I know that, CJ. I was there when you guys got back.” My brother shakes his head, his gaze clouding once he gets a look at everyone’s expressions. “What’s going on?’

  Carter lets out a harsh breath, his voice low. “We spent the nights together, Ollie. In one room and one bed.”

  Holy. Shit.

  I am literally yelling at him . . . inside my head. What on earth is he thinking?

  Realization creeps across my brother’s face, a flush quickly making its way up his neck and onto his whole face. I’m afraid he’s going to jump across the table to strangle Carter, but the waitress appears with our food.

  She takes in the scene at our table, the tension as thick as fog, the anger practically radiating off my brother’s face, and her smile drops.

  Yet, without a doubt, she is Carter’s temporary lifesaver.

  My brother’s breaths come out short and almost violently, his nostrils flaring. If there was ever an epitome of an angry bull, that’s him right now. I want to scoot back with my chair. Just until things have cooled down—provided they actually will.

  Cora is the first to spring into action, placing her hand on my brother’s arm, her voice soft and soothing. “Why don’t you let him explain first?”

  I use that moment to glance at Carter, shooting him an irritated look that’s meant to silently convey “Really? That’s how you choose to tell him?”

  He only shrugs in response, and I have absolutely no clue what’s going on in his head. If it wouldn’t make things worse, I’d let him have a piece of my mind right now, that’s for sure.

  “Was this planned?” My brother’s voice slices through the air, sounding almost venomous as his gaze is fixated on Carter.

  So far, he’s barely glanced at me, and I’m still unsure if that’s good or bad.

  Carter snorts beside me—he freaking snorts. What on earth is the matter with him? He leans forward in his chair as if he’s actually trying to get into my brother’s face. I’m starting to think he’s lost his mind. “You’re asking if I took her to Vegas to lure her into my bed?”

  “It wouldn’t be the first time you did something like that,” Oliver practically spits across the table.

  Carter leans forward even more, his posture and facial expression getting more aggressive by the second. “Be careful what you say right now.”

  With each passing second, I feel more nervous, shooting an anxious glance at Cora, who looks even more stressed than she did a few minutes ago.

  “Why? Are you an item now?” His eyes go wide at the thought, and he seems to be holding his breath until Carter shakes his head next to me.

  My brother throws his hands up in the air. “So why are you telling me this then? Why now? If this was a casual thing, do you fear she’s going to come running to me because you’ve dumped her?”

  Ouch. This arrow was probably meant for Carter, but it feels like it pierces me straight through the heart.

  Carter leans back, slightly, and I take a deep breath.

  His gaze is still steadily meeting my brother’s. “It’s not like that. I just didn’t want to lie to you anymore and risk our friendship.”

  My brother lets out a humorless laugh. “You should have thought about that before you put your hands on my sister.” His hand comes down on the table with a loud smack, making both Cora and me jump in our seats. “Damn it all to hell, CJ. This is exactly why I’ve always told you she’s off-limits. What a fucking mess.”

  Did he just . . . Did I just hear him correctly?

  Me . . . off-limits? For Carter?

  “Excuse me?” The words are out of my mouth while I try to process what my brother just said.

  His gaze flickers to me, and he blinks like he’s forgotten I’m here. His gaze softens, but there’s still enough residual anger in his eyes to make my blood boil. We both don’t have much of a temper, but if someone pokes us hard enough, we react.

  Heat rushes through my body, and I feel sweat form on my upper lip. My muscles are practically quivering beneath my skin to throw something at my brother—something off the table or maybe the table itself—but somewhere deep down inside me, I find the strength to resist.

  Barely.

  My voice is shaky when I speak, which makes me even angrier. “What do you mean I’m off-limits? Did you seriously tell Carter not to get involved with me?”

  Ollie’s jaw clenches and he tightens his hands into fists. “Of course I did. From the second I saw him checking you out when we were teenagers. You’re my sister.”

  I inhale a sharp breath, my palms stinging from digging my fingernails into them, as Cora groans softly at my brother’s admission.

  Throughout every discussion I've had with Carter, I’ve wondered if that was the case, but hearing Ollie say it in such a nonchalant manner pisses me off even more. “What on earth does that have to do with anything? You have no right to tell anyone something like that. I’m not your property you can manage however you see fit.”

  His eyes look like they might pop out of his head, and his mouth is slightly agape. “Jules, I only want what’s best for you.”

  “Oh yeah? And how do you know Carter isn’t what’s best for me?” I close my eyes when I realize what I just said.

  Damn it. Can this get any worse?

  Both men stare at me in shock. Cora, on the other hand, is trying to hide the grin that keeps threatening to spread across her face.

  Just great.

  But I’m not done yet. “He’s your best friend, Ollie. Your damn best friend since you were little, so I know how highly you think of him. Why on earth wouldn’t you want someone like that to be with me? It makes no sense.” Words are starting to fail me as the ridiculousness of this whole situation starts to register. This isn’t going anywhere. “You know what? Never mind. It’s not like he’s interested anyway.”

  And there it is. I just made it worse.

  My chair scrapes loudly against the concrete when I push it back, almost toppling over. With angry tears in my eyes—maybe some embarrassed ones mixed in too—I get some money out of my purse and throw it on the table.

  “I hope you’re happy now.” My voice sounds shrill, even to my own ears. Before either one of the guys can even think about getting up, I point my finger at them. “Don’t follow me, don’t call me, don’t text me. I don’t want to hear from either one of you for a while.”

  Then I turn around and stomp toward the parking lot, certain that every eye in the bistro and surrounding area is on me right now.

  I definitely won’t be coming back here any time soon.

  What the hell just happened? Not only did Carter blurt out our misdemeanor without any warning, but he then confirmed we were just a fling, which makes me feel like shit. Doesn’t he have a clue what that would sound like to me? Of course there’s nothing going on between us, Ollie. She’s your baby sister . . . who is off-limits. Ollie told him I was off-limits? Carter was interested in me years ago? My head is spi
nning. It’s too much.

  What a freaking mess.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Carter

  Almost a whole week has passed since I saw Julia at the bistro. It feels like it’s been a lot longer, and the confrontation with Oliver has left more than just a sour taste in my mouth.

  What an absolute clusterfuck.

  I’ve wanted to go and see her every day since but wasn’t sure that was the best idea after the way she left. Cora’s the only one who’s seen her, making sure we know that nothing has changed. Julia still doesn’t want to see us. The two of them even did Julia’s move by themselves—while I stayed at a hotel and Ollie at Cora’s place. Thank goodness, the new apartment is mostly furnished, so there wasn’t too much for them to do.

  Otherwise, Oliver and I might have insisted on helping.

  I know she needs space, and I’ve wanted to give it to her, but after a week of sleepless nights, I’ve decided it’s been long enough.

  Hence, I’m in front of her apartment door, hoping she’ll let me in, or even just open it. Her car is in the parking lot, so she should be home. Exhaling a fortifying breath, I knock on the door.

  After what feels like an hour, and several more knocks, she finally opens it. Then, she just stares at me. Not in confusion or anger, but with a completely unreadable expression.

  Somehow that’s even worse.

  When the silence stretches between us, she crosses her arms over her chest, but I know better than to drop my gaze to her breasts.

  That might earn me a nut-punch.

  Something we both know I never ever want to live through again.

  Clearing my throat, I try to get rid of the huge lump. “Can I come in?”

  She releases a breath, and I realize how tired she looks. “What do you want, Carter?”

  “I just want to talk. Please? I also brought some of that Chinese takeout you liked so much.” I hold up the bags in my hands, and her gaze flickers down.

  Wordlessly, she takes a step back and opens the door all the way. Relief floods me as I walk past her, trying not to react when she moves back far enough so we won’t accidentally touch.