by Tabatha Kiss
“It’s okay,” I say, forcing myself to stand up straighter. “I just need to take a walk.”
“Well, do you have somebody you can call? If you need to.”
I bite down to stop myself from snapping at her. She knows my history. It’s a valid question.
“Yeah,” I answer.
“You can call me, too,” she says. “I’m always here. You know that, right?”
“Thanks,” I say before closing the door behind me.
Thirty
Melanie
Cady reached out and caressed Derrick’s face, his tired eyes showing no remorse. No pity. No compassion. He didn’t care who he hurt in all this, especially not her. Not his wife and lover. It was always about him and no one else.
She pulled her hand back and slapped him across the face.
“Fuck you,” she said. “Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck fuck fuck—”
I slam my laptop closed and toss it onto the couch beside me. Honestly, fuck this book. Fuck this entire book. It’s tainted now. Truly, utterly tainted by him. Robbie’s dumb words are all over this thing. Might as well just delete it and forget it. Start a new one.
Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll start a new book. One with a sympathetic hero and a badass heroine. A girl who knows what she wants and isn’t too timid to say it. And a man who respects his woman enough to do as she asks and, I don’t know, not fall in love with her.
Yeah, people totally want to read that.
I glare at my laptop.
On second thought, maybe not.
There’s a knock on my door. I frown. Probably just Robbie.
I’m not getting off this couch unless it’s pizza.
My phone vibrates face down on the end table. I grab it and turn it over to find a new message from Nora. It’s a selfie of her and Trix standing in my hallway with grinning faces… and a pizza box.
Let us in! the text reads.
They know me well.
I push myself off the couch and shuffle across the condo to open the door.
Nora and Trix stand in the hall with shopping tote bags dangling from their elbows. Together, they each balance one side of a sign made of poster board. It’s bedazzled with glitter writing, neon markers, and two red balloons fastened to the top corners.
Bon Voyage, Melanie!
“Hi!” Nora says, smiling from ear-to-ear. “We’re here to kidnap you!”
“Girls’ niiiiiiight!” Trix howls, her voice echoing throughout the empty hallway.
I sigh. “Robbie sure has a big mouth,” I say.
Trix jostles the pizza box. “We’ve got food and booze! Let’s go.”
“Booze?” I ask her.
She reaches into her tote and pulls out a bottle of white grape juice. “Rum for you guys. This crap for me. Grab your coat.”
“Where are we going?” I ask.
“No time to explain, woman!” Nora shouts loud enough to piss off some neighbors, I’m sure. “Move it!”
I nod, admiring their charisma. “Well, I can’t exactly turn you down,” I say. “You made a banner and everything.”
They shake it back and forth, scattering a few glitter crumbs on the floor.
I laugh.
We end up at Lance’s house.
“Is Hal here?” I ask as we step onto the front porch.
“No,” Trix answers. “She’s on a date tonight, so she won’t be back until late.”
“If at all,” Nora jokes.
Trix grins as she retrieves the keys from her purse. “See, now, that’s the quiet part we don’t say out loud in front of Lance.”
Nora titters. “Duly noted.”
I admire the house, taking in the neighborhood surrounding it. I haven’t been to Lance’s place before tonight. It’s nice and quiet and normal, very much unlike the massive estate Trix grew up on. It’s adorable how opposites always find a way to attract.
Trix opens the door. “Lance is home, but he’s deep in a new case and probably won’t leave his study at all, so we’re safe to get drunk and party. Or, in my case, get processed-sugared up and party.”
I laugh as we follow her inside. “Sounds great.”
“I’ll grab some glasses and napkins. You guys chill.”
Nora hooks my arm and leads me into the living room. She sets her shopping tote down on the coffee table and adjusts the throw pillows on the couch before we sit down.
“This is a nice house,” I say as I open the pizza box.
“Right?” Nora says. “Before we leave, you must have Trix show you the nursery-in-progress. It’s so adorable!”
“You’ve seen it?” I ask.
“Well…” She hesitates. “Sort of. I mean, she asked me about colors and stuff, so I brought over some palette options from my web designers and now I’m seeing why you’ve felt so left out lately so I’ll just stop talking…” Her voice falls.
I pat her knee, smiling. “Don’t worry about it, Nora. It’s okay. And I haven’t felt left out. It’s more like I feel… stuck, you know?”
“So, why didn’t you tell us about New York?” she asks.
Trix kisses her teeth as she returns with three wineglasses and half a roll of paper towels. “Nor...”
“What?”
“We agreed on gradually breaching that subject. That’s not gradual.”
“The sign wasn’t exactly subtle.”
I wave a hand. “It’s okay, guys,” I say as Trix hands me a glass. “Truthfully, I’ve been on the fence about it for a while now. My agent suggested it months ago, said there were plenty of local career opportunities in the city, but...” I shrug. “I don’t know. I didn’t really think too seriously about it until recently.”
“When you became a fifth wheel?” Trix asks.
“I didn’t mean it like...” I deflate. “Yeah, sort of. I guess.”
Nora’s face bleeds guilt. “We didn’t mean to make you feel that way,” she says.
“I am so happy for you guys,” I say. “Nothing makes me happier than you guys finding your happily ever afters, so please don’t think otherwise.”
“We don’t,” Trix says.
“After a while, though…” I swallow hard. “After losing what was supposed to be my happily ever after, it became easier to imagine me walking away.”
“Because of Robbie?”
My heart clenches. “Yes,” I answer. “Because of Robbie. And me, too. I need a change. A good change. Leaving Chicago just started making sense the more I thought about it. I can’t stand still anymore. I’m sorry I didn’t mention it earlier. I didn’t want to ruin anyone’s holiday with my dumb drama.”
Trix nods, pensive. “Why did you tell Robbie?” she asks, curious.
“Yes, please,” Nora says, her eyes flashing for gossip. “I would very much like to know that as well.”
I chuckle. “He found out by accident,” I say. “He was at my place when my dad swung by to drop off some boxes for me. Mom can keep a secret. Dad not so much. Anyway, Rob confronted me about it and, well…” I gesture around. “Here we are.”
“And why was Robbie at your place?” Trix asks, her lips curling.
“Because he was helping me with my book.”
“Oh, yeah…” Nora says. “I forgot he used to do edits for you.”
“So did I. But then, he left some notes for me the night he crashed on my couch. I read them over, liked his ideas, so we’ve been professionally working together ever since.”
Nora swoons. “That’s so nice.” She looks at Trix. “Isn’t that nice?”
“Very nice,” Trix says.
I pick at a loose thread on my sleeve. “He doesn’t want me to go,” I say.
“Of course he doesn’t!” Nora says. “He loves you.”
“I know.” I nod. “And part of me will always love him, too, but I can’t pretend that love is all that matters. It doesn’t work that way.”
“As the creator of a dating app, I totally get that.”
; Trix nods. “And as a woman whose boyfriend helped put her father in jail, it resonates with me, too,” she says.
We chuckle.
“Exactly,” I say.
“Well, for what it’s worth...” Nora raises her glass, “I think you’ll kick so much ass in New York.”
“Damn straight,” Trix says, smiling. “And I’d never scoff at a good excuse for a day trip.”
“Hell yeah! We’ll gas up the helicopter and meet you in Times Square. Hit up SoHo. Take in a show. Just say when and we’ll be there.”
I smile. “Thanks, guys.”
They both wrap their arms around me in a three-way hug. Tears spring to my eyes as I laugh. These girls have been through so much shit with me. My first book launch. My wedding. My divorce. All the vicious moments in-between. And yet, they’re still here.
I bury myself in their embrace, never wanting to leave.
“Wait.” Nora leans back. “What about your secret admirer? Have you told him you’re leaving?”
“Oh. About that.” I dab the lone tear off my eyelash. “I found out who he is.”
“What?” Trix asks. “You did?”
Nora jolts on the couch. “When? How?”
I press my lips together, enjoying the suspense. “It was… Roger.”
Nora gasps. “No.”
I nod. “Yes.”
“Roger?”
Trix furrows her tight brow. “Roger?” she asks.
“Roger,” I repeat. “The waiter from Moira’s.”
“Roger told you he was the secret admirer? He said that?”
“I sent him a message, asked to finally meet, and he showed up,” I answer. “It sounds crazy, but it’s true.”
Nora shakes her head. “Well, that doesn’t make any sense. Why would he—”
The front door opens. Haley barges inside and pauses as she sees us, her hand instantly rising to wipe an obvious tear off her face.
“Haley?” Trix rises off the couch. “Honey, are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she mutters as she bolts for the stairs.
The three of us exchange glances, easily recognizing Haley’s pained expression.
The fallout of a date gone wrong.
But how wrong?
Nora and I stand and follow Trix up the stairs.
“Haley?” Trix taps on the last door in the hall. “Can we come in?”
We pause behind her, patiently waiting until there’s a soft shuffling on the other side.
Haley opens the door. “Hey,” she says.
“Are you okay?” Trix asks again, her voice as fluffy as clouds.
Haley nods and steps out into Trix’s comforting arms.
In all the years I’ve known Trix, I’ve never seen her this soft and maternal. Her own mother died giving birth to her. Her grandmother raised her, but I don’t think they ever had what you’d call a mother-daughter connection. Haley’s mother died in the same way Trix’s did, leaving Lance to raise her by himself. Somehow, they found each other and, with that, their own mother-daughter connection.
I smile, my eyes stinging with tears.
Trix releases her. Haley steps back, leaving her door open for us as she sits down on her mattress. Trix kneels on the floor and folds her legs beneath her, sinking into a comfortable position next to the bed. I wonder how often they do this together; whispering about boys far away from Lance’s protective ears.
Nora plunks down on the floor, too. I instantly follow.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Trix asks.
Haley looks at each of us, her smile returning. “You guys don’t have to do this.”
“Of course we do!” Nora says.
“Yeah,” I say. “You’re one of us.”
“Talking shit about the losers we date is half the fun of girly nights.”
Trix smiles. “That’s right.” She pats Haley’s knee. “Tell us everything.” Her brow rises. “And then we’ll decide if I have to run out and slap a frat boy.”
“You don’t have to slap him,” Haley says. “I… already did.”
Our jaws drop.
Trix glows. “You did?”
Haley nods. “Not that I’m proud of it…”
“I am! My girl slapped her first frat boy, guys!”
Nora and I straighten up and give her a small round of applause.
Haley blushes. “I shouldn’t feel guilty?” she asks.
“That depends.” Trix rests her elbow on the bed to prop her head up. “What did he do?”
Haley hesitates. “Well, I told him I wanted to take it slow.”
I roll my eyes. “Of course.”
Nora shakes her head, disappointed. “Why do guys still take that to mean the complete opposite thing?”
Trix pouts a lip. “He got too handsy, huh?” she asks.
“We were going to a movie with a group of friends,” Haley answers. “He told the others to go into the theater. We stayed in the car and…” Her voice trails off for a second. “He made me feel uncomfortable, so I got out of the car and called an Uber to get home.”
Trix takes her hand. “I’m proud of you, honey. You stood up for yourself.”
“Yeah,” I say. “You’re a total badass, Hal.”
“Don’t feel guilty,” Nora adds. “You set boundaries, and he crossed them. That’s never okay. Ever.”
Haley grabs her phone off her pillow. “He keeps texting me that he’s sorry.” She swipes it on. “I don’t know what to do. I mean, do I believe him? I still really like him, I just…”
“But do you still trust him?” Trix asks.
My stomach clenches.
“Does it matter?” Haley asks.
“Of course it matters.” Trix chuckles. “Hal, no one’s perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, some more forgivable than others. Part of being an adult in a relationship is figuring out what you’re willing to put up with. I mean, jeez, just look at me and your dad.”
Haley smiles. “I guess that’s true.”
“Oh, so true,” Nora says. “What Clive did to me was crazy messed up. I didn’t think I’d ever forgive him, but after a good bit of groveling and communication, we’re making it work.”
I look down, swallowing hard.
“People can change. They can learn and grow,” Trix says. “If you think this guy is capable of that, then it might be worth forgiving him and moving forward — unless he does it again, then you block him like that.” She snaps her finger. “Ain’t got no chill for repeat offenders.”
Nora fakes a sneeze. “Marcus,” she says, sniffing to obscure it.
“Marcus?” Haley asks, raising a curious brow.
Trix glares at Nora. “I don’t really see how he’s relevant right now.”
“You’re right,” Nora says, smirking. “My mistake.”
Haley glances between them, filing that information away for a later time. “So, you think I should give him a chance?” she asks.
Trix shrugs a shoulder. “That’s up to you, honey, but if you do, definitely make him grovel.”
Nora nods. “It’s the best part.”
They chuckle, and Nora nudges my ribs.
“Anything you’d like to add?” she asks me. “You’re kind of the queen of this.”
“Um…” I pause, my thoughts muddled. “I don’t know. Forgiveness isn’t easy. It’s never easy. The deeper you’re in it, the harder it is because there’s so much pain and baggage. You try to remember how good things can be, but the bad things are always there to remind you what happens when you forget for too long. People don’t change. Or maybe they can. Maybe they can completely turn around and become exactly what you wanted them to be, but the baggage is still there, weighing you down until you just can’t stand being so angry anymore. You can either hold on to it and leave, or drop it and stay and see if the good can ever outweigh the bad. There’s no wrong answer, but there sure as shit isn’t a right one, either. So… yeah. I guess you can say I’m the queen of this.”
“I mean
t because you write romance novels,” Nora says slowly. “Don’t they typically end with the hero groveling on his knees, confessing his undying love?”
“Oh.” I nod. “Right. Groveling. It’s nice, yeah.”
They all stare at me for a moment longer before Trix exhales and pats Haley on the knee again.
“Anyway…” she says. “We’ve got pizza and drinks. Why don’t you get cleaned up and join us downstairs?”
“Yeah, come on down,” Nora says. “We’re happy to have you.”
Haley nods. “Okay.”
The three of us stand up. As we walk out into the hallway, we notice Lance lingering just a few feet away from the door, listening in on the entire conversation.
Trix closes the door behind us. Nora and I link arms and take a few wide steps down the hall as Trix stays with him.
“Is she okay?” Lance whispers.
“Oh, yeah,” Trix answers. “She’s fine. Just growing up a little.”
He nods. “Right…”
“Are you okay?” She chuckles. “You don’t look so hot.”
“I’m feeling a little out of my element,” he says, staring at Haley’s door. “I would have locked her up and thrown away the key a long time ago.”
“Well, that’d just make it worse.”
“Yeah, I know.” Lance sighs as he slowly wraps his arms around Trix’s waist. “I’m glad you’re here, you know that, right?”
Trix smiles. “Yeah, I know.”
They kiss once, embracing each other as Nora and I disappear downstairs.
We return to our spots on the couch.
“What about you?” Nora asks me. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I say. “Why?”
She cants her head, staying quiet, but she doesn’t need to answer. I know why she’s asking. It’s the same old boring story. Melanie and Robbie. Robbie and Melanie. I’d say it’s will-they-won’t-they, but that’s never been true. They will. They always will.
They’ll always find each other again. They’ll always make space for just a little more baggage. Just a little more pain and anger unless we finally drop it.
Dammit, Melanie. Be honest. For once.
Unless I drop it.
Thirty-One