Always Loving You

by Sydney Landon

  * * *

  “So, Ava, I’m really digging this look you’ve got going on today. Your boobs look much bigger than I first had them pegged for.”

  Ava almost spat her drink across the table as the cool redhead openly assessed her breasts. “Er . . . thank you, Suzy. That’s . . . good to hear.” They were having lunch at a Mexican restaurant inside the mall. Emma had arranged it so Ava was sitting between her and Ella, and that had helped lessen the discomfort a bit. Unfortunately, that left Suzy, Claire, and Beth across the table. So here she sat, fiddling with her glass and trying to follow the flow of conversation around her. She felt as if she had entered some Lifetime movie where each woman talked about her husband. She knew who these women were married to and she suspected they must be thrilled to go home at the end of each day.

  When she and Brant had originally met Jason Danvers, she had been so tongue-tied she couldn’t speak. She hadn’t been expecting someone so young and gorgeous. But the real crush had developed once he started talking. The man was brilliant. She had fallen in love with his mind that day. Ava had always had a thirst for knowledge, and Jason was a master teacher. To watch him in action closing a big deal was a thing of beauty. One of his most attractive qualities, though, was how much he loved his wife and the fact that he didn’t bother to hide it. Ava had had dinner with them a few times through the course of various business functions, and Jason seemed to think that the world revolved around the woman he had chosen to be by his side. Ava knew that Claire had once been his assistant at Danvers but was now his wife and the mother of his child.

  Suzy was married to Grayson “Gray” Merimon, who had also come on board at Danvers when Jason acquired his company. Gray’s brother, Nick, worked for Danvers as well and was married to Suzy’s sister, Beth. Just trying to keep up with all the connections seemed mind-boggling. And of course, there was Ella, who was married to Ava’s brother Declan. Ella was adorable and currently only a month away from giving birth to their first child. Lately Ava felt a pang of emptiness when she saw how happy other people were as part of a couple. She could have had that if only she hadn’t been such a coward. Mac had wanted a real relationship with her, but now it might be too late.

  “Yoo-hoo, hellooo!”

  Ava jumped as Emma’s shout jostled her back to the present. She felt herself flush as all eyes at the table were on her.

  “Good grief, woman, you were completely zoned out there. So, anyway, I want to talk to the girls about your mission and see if we can get some insight. Is that okay with you?”

  Ava smiled politely, thinking, I am so going to kill this big mouth when we get back to the office. “Um . . . I guess so.”

  Emma gave her a wink in return as if trying to reassure her before diving in. “Ladies, you know that Mac and Ava are close, right? Or they were before he started dating someone else. Now, to be fair to Mac, he did want Ava first, but she wasn’t ready. Anyway, now he’s moved on and we just can’t let that happen. We need to help Ava get his attention back and help him to see that she’s ready to take the next step.”

  Suzy rubbed her temple, saying, “I think you’ve left out a lot of details there, but we can still work with what we’ve got. So, who is the woman that Mac’s dating?”

  “It’s Gwen, you know, the redhead who works in accounting?” Ella offered.

  “G-lo?” Claire blurted out before slapping a hand over her mouth.

  “No shit, really?” Suzy smirked. “Wow, I guess Mac likes big butts and he cannot lie.”

  “Oh my God,” Beth groaned, looking at her sister. “I can’t believe you went there. Her butt isn’t that big.”

  “It’s not that it’s big,” Suzy corrected, “it’s just quite round and juicy, like Jennifer Lopez, aka J-lo. Hey, I’m not insulting her; I’d like to have an ass like that myself.”

  “Me too,” Claire admitted. “If I lose a pound, my butt takes a leave of absence. I’ve always wanted a big one.”

  “Yeah, hell, me too,” Emma added. “Sorry, Ava, but men do love the big butts.”

  “She’s not shy about showing that sucker off either,” Ella chimed in. “She was walking in front of me last week and her dress was glued to it like a second skin. I almost ran into a ficus tree watching her walk.”

  Ava dropped her head onto the table, ready to admit defeat. “If you’re all in love with her or at least her ass, what hope does that leave for me? The magazines didn’t mention butt implants.”

  Suzy leaned forward in her chair, patting her on the top of the hand. “Honey, you’ve got more going for you than a good set of buns. Mac was into you first and men don’t get over stuff like that as easily as they want to believe. Also, you’ve got us. I’m sure G-lo is a nice person and all, but she’s gotta go. There are plenty of other ass-gawking men out there for her, so she’ll be fine. Now, Emma said something about you needing clothes for a date with Dominic?”

  It seemed that all jaws dropped when that name was mentioned. He appeared to have quite a few admirers at the table. When Ava told them about her plan to start trying new hobbies to catch Mac’s attention with her adventurous streak, everyone applauded. “I think you’re onto something.” Claire laughed. “Mac has been to our house on several occasions going over security things, and Jason just loves how OCD he is over safety. Truthfully, it drives me crazy sometimes, but I go along with it because otherwise Jason would be a nervous wreck when my daughter, Chrissy, and I are alone. I bet you suddenly doing things so out of character will drive Mac out of his mind! Riding a Harley with Dominic, though, is really hitting the big leagues. I’m impressed.”

  The other girls nodded in agreement as Ava admitted, “I want him to see that I can be fun and exciting. For years, he’s known only the quiet and repressed Ava. I need to show not only him, but more important, myself, that I can be like other women my age. I don’t have to be so serious about everything anymore. I’m scared to death, but go big or go home, right?” Of course, most of the women at the table didn’t know about her past and the baggage that she was trying to overcome. They just assumed that she had dragged her feet and let Mac slip away. It was as much as she was willing to share at this point. Heck, she couldn’t be sure whether her past was a secret, because most things at Danvers seemed to be public knowledge. Maybe they all knew more than they were letting on, but she wasn’t about to discuss it openly with them . . . not yet and maybe not ever.

  Looking her over, Suzy said, “So we need some clothes to make Mac sit up and take notice, right?”

  Claire, the sweet one as Ava had come to think of her, added, “Not that there is anything wrong with the way you dress. I think you always look so nice.”

  “You do,” Beth agreed, giving her a friendly smile. “Maybe just some casual clothes for the new hobbies you plan to take on.”

  “What she needs,” Emma interjected, “are some tit-displaying shirts to put those babies out there. Mac has to be behind G-lo to appreciate her big ass, but hello, your girls are right there on eye level for him. There is no way he can miss those suckers if you open those buttons up.”

  It felt so strange to have female friends rooting for her that Ava wasn’t sure if she wanted to jump up and high-five everyone, yelling something about girl power, or run for the nearest door. Instead she followed the others out of the restaurant as they made their way into the mall, clearly women on a mission.

  The next hour was something akin to a horror movie as the women she barely knew threw an alarmingly large stack of clothing before her and demanded that she model it, save for the underwear, thank God. When the whirlwind shopping spree was over, it took all of them to carry the bags. She had spent enough money that she could have put an impressive down payment on a new car. What did it matter, though? All these years of having no social life meant that she rarely spent money on anything other than living expenses.

  She promised Suzy that she would continue wearing her hair loose and was grateful that no one had suggested a new haircut. Her h
air was her one vanity, and even though she mostly wore it up, she still loved her long blond tresses. She groaned in exhaustion as she climbed into the passenger side of Emma’s car. How could anyone love shopping? It was total hell.

  “So.” Emma wiggled her eyebrows. “This is it, then. No backing out now.”

  “Nope, I’m all in. There is no way I’m taking back these clothes, and I’d never be able to sleep again if I wasted this much money for nothing.”

  “Yay, that’s the spirit. Now let’s get ready to unleash hell on poor, unsuspecting Mac. He’s going to find out that hell hath no fury like a woman kicked to the curb for one with a bigger butt.”

  Ava snickered, unable to control herself. Emma was a total nut, but boy, did she have a way with words!

  Chapter Six

  Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap. What am I doing? Ava looked down at herself, cringing at the unfamiliar clothes she was wearing. She had arranged to meet Dominic at his bike around six, and she had made it with five minutes to spare. She had on some of her new clothes, picked by Suzy for her first motorcycle ride. The outfit consisted of formfitting jeans, a black belt, a white tank top, and a lightweight black leather jacket. A pair of black boots completed the look. Ava felt as if every curve of her body was screaming, Hey, look at me! She did have to admit that even though she wasn’t comfortable with the way the clothes molded to her curves, she did feel just a little sexy in them. Maybe too sexy. Dominic would probably think she was coming on to him. Before she could have a panic attack at that thought, the man himself sauntered up to her with a sexy grin on his face. Yeah, he definitely sauntered; there was nothing normal about his walk. He moved like a man who knew who he was and didn’t care to pretend otherwise. Of course, Mac and Declan both had a similar gait. Maybe it was more like a military swagger. She gave him her brightest smile, trying not to look terrified. “Hey, Dominic.”

  “Hey, Blondie. Wasn’t sure if I’d see you here or not.”

  Suddenly, she felt awkward and embarrassed. Had he been hoping she wouldn’t show up? She had kind of put him on the spot this morning. He was no doubt just trying to be nice by agreeing to the ride, since she was friends with Mac.

  Looking down at the toes of her new boots, she said, “If you don’t want to bother, that’s fine. Really, it was probably a silly idea anyway.” At that moment, Ava saw movement out of the corner of her eye and looked over to see Mac and Gwen exiting the elevator into the garage. “Oh, damn, perfect,” she muttered under her breath. That was all she needed, Mac and his new girlfriend with the big butt witnessing her humiliation as Dominic sent her on her way.

  “Blondie, if you want to do this, let’s make it good. Here’s your big chance to get Mac’s attention. Just play along and I guarantee he’ll be fucking flipping out.”

  She snapped her head around to look at Dominic, gaping at him in surprise. “What?”

  He grinned in response, before settling on his bike and telling her to climb on behind him. “Baby, I wasn’t born yesterday. Sometimes it takes a hard right to the heart to realize how bad you’ve fucked up. I’m thinking you’ve taken the hit and now you’re ready for some return fire. And lucky for you, that’s my specialty.”

  Ava quickly but awkwardly climbed on the big bike behind Dominic, not realizing until she was settled that her crotch was going to be sitting right in the curve of his ass. It was official; this was her most intimate moment with something that didn’t require batteries. She tried to ignore the throbbing between her thighs at the foreign feeling of a masculine body nestled there. She might love Mac, but she couldn’t ignore the little flicker of desire that she felt at being this close to a man. She saw Mac and Gwen gawking at them before Mac started forward, almost dragging poor Gwen across the pavement. “Oh, shit, here they come. Why are you helping me? Mac’s your friend.”

  Dominic rocked the bike backward, releasing the stand before he turned sideways to say, “Because he has something I want . . . and I have something he wants.”

  “What are you talking about?” Before he could answer, Mac and an out-of-breath Gwen reached them and sparks were flying.

  “Dom, what in the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Mac’s hot gaze flew over her, and she saw him visibly swallow. In a gentler tone he added, “Avie, get off the bike.”

  Dominic ignored his friend, simply smirking in response. “Ava and I are going to dinner and then I’m giving her a riding lesson.”

  Ava watched Mac, fascinated, as a nerve ticked away in his jaw. She couldn’t remember the last time she had seen him so angry. He usually showed her only his gentle side, even though she was aware that he, like most people, had a harder side. “What kind of lesson?” Oh, yikes, he thought that was a code for sex, didn’t he?

  “He’s teaching me to drive his bike. I’ve been wanting to try it for a while.” Uh-oh, he had his hands in his hair now, looking for all the world as if he was going to yank some of it out in frustration. Wow, if Ava had wanted to get a reaction out of him, this was it. He looked as if he was going to detonate. Beside him, Gwen’s eyes jumped from Mac to Dominic to Ava and then back again. She looked as if she was on the verge of solving a big puzzle and just needed a few more pieces. Ava didn’t miss the quick, appraising look that Dominic shot Gwen before looking away. Apparently, he also liked big butts and was ready to help Ava get Mac so that he would be free to have G-lo. Wow—weren’t there reality shows about stuff like this? Ava had never thought she’d actually be a part of some type of love triangle.

  Mac’s eyes drilled into hers as he continued to speak to her in the same soft voice. “Ava, bikes are dangerous. There is no way you can drive a Harley. You’re going to get seriously hurt. Now please get off and I’ll walk you back to your car.” Something about his tone was really starting to piss her off. She was tired of being treated like an invalid. Maybe she had done nothing to prove to him that she was capable of living a normal life, but that was about to change. This was no longer just about getting Mac back from Gwen; this was about showing him that she had a backbone. She wasn’t the same scared teenager anymore. Well, maybe she was still scared, but damn it, she needed to prove that she could do something other than cower in a corner. She could be fearless and fun.

  She gave him a bright smile before tightening her arms around Dominic’s waist. “I’m ready if you are,” she said against his ear. Beneath her, the big bike roared to life and Dominic threw a wave at Mac and Gwen before taking off. Ava heard Mac yelling at their retreating backs, but she had no time to try to decipher his words; she was too busy holding on for dear life.

  Oh God, Mac was right, this bike was way out of her league. Ava buried her face in Dominic’s back and started reciting every prayer she had ever heard. She even threw in Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep for good measure. A prayer was a prayer, right? She finally turned her head sideways when she was close to asphyxiating in Dominic’s shirt. The Atlantic Ocean glimmered on her right, and she realized that they were on Ocean Boulevard. Even through her death grip she noticed how vivid the view from the back of the bike was compared to the countless times she had traveled this same route by car. There was something about the warmth of the sun on her face and the feel of the wind in her hair that made her feel alive. She hesitantly loosened her grip enough to ease back slightly and gasped in surprise. It was still scary as hell when she looked down at the road flying by, but there was also an unfamiliar rush racing through her veins. She was actually doing it. She was trying something new, something kind of dangerous, and she wasn’t having a panic attack or a nervous breakdown.

  She heard Dominic yell at her over his shoulder, “Not bad, is it, Blondie?” She laughed in reply, feeling her body relax further. She felt like Kate Winslet in Titanic when she stood on the bow of the ship with her arms in the air. She laughed again and figured that Dominic must think she was losing her mind. She didn’t care, though; she wanted to revel in the moment. All too soon, the bike slowed and pulled into a parking space next to the boardw
alk. Dominic set the bike back on the stand and cut the engine. She held on to his shoulder as he helped her climb from the bike before getting off himself. “I thought we’d grab a sandwich and eat outside since it’s such a nice evening.” Normally, she would have listed all the reasons that she would rather eat indoors in the cool air-conditioning, but what the hell? She was turning over a new leaf, and after riding a motorcycle, surely eating a hot dog outside would be tame in comparison.

  “Sounds good,” she agreed, and followed him to the small café on the corner. They walked in the door and she fought the urge to suggest an indoor table. Dominic was more comfortable outside and she was just along for the ride, literally. As her eyes scrolled over the menu on the wall behind the counter, she suddenly clapped her hands in excitement before grabbing Dominic’s arm. “Funnel cake! Oh, please, can I have that instead of real food?” Dominic started chuckling and Ava’s cheeks colored when she realized that the few people in the café were smiling at her childlike enthusiasm for the sugary treat.

  “Blondie, you get whatever you want. You’re a bike-riding badass now. Break a few more rules and have dessert first.” Dominic ordered two foot-long hot dogs for himself and the funnel cake for her. He also ordered them both Coke, which made her cringe slightly. She usually stuck to diet drinks, but that seemed silly when she was eating a fried treat with no doubt thousands of calories in it. She wondered idly how many calories riding a motorcycle burned off. Surely anxiety raises your heart rate.

  Dominic balanced their food on a tray while she ran ahead and opened the door for them. Soon, they were settled at a table on the boardwalk. She had to admit that the sound of the waves breaking against the shore beside them was better than listening to the chatter indoors. Maybe Dominic was onto something. After taking her first bite of the fluffy, fried cake loaded with powdered sugar, she wiped her lips and looked at the man across the table from her. It seemed strange to be sharing a meal with him, since they had never really done it before. She had eaten with him, Mac, and Gage, but that was hardly the one-on-one they were having now. “So, you like Gwen, huh?” she blurted out before thinking better of it.