Always Loving You

by Sydney Landon

  Always the blunt one, Suzy deadpanned, “Well, that sucks. I mean, like, you can’t do anything or just the main event?”

  “I’m really not sure,” Ella admitted. “I was too embarrassed to ask for specifics. It doesn’t matter anyway. With the doctor saying that, Declan would cut off his hands before he would touch me down there now. He’s terrified that something will happen. He won’t even let me . . . help him out. I put my hand on his . . . you know last night and he jumped out of bed like I’d just violated him or something. Apparently, he thinks that if I help him come, the baby will explode out of my vagina at the same time.”

  Everyone started laughing at Ella’s description. Only Ava shifted around uncomfortably. Hearing Ella talking about sex with Declan was a little disturbing. She liked to pretend that both Brant and Declan lived with their wives without actually doing anything sexual. It was right up there with talking about sex and your parents. Of course, Emma was constantly referring to how freaky Brant was in bed. Ava was certain that one day her eardrums would start to bleed and might never stop.

  Desperately needing a change of subject, she was relieved when Ella turned to Suzy and asked, “How did the home study go last night?” Ava knew from Emma that Suzy and her husband, Gray, had suffered multiple miscarriages and were now in the process of adopting a child. She remembered everyone wishing Suzy good luck when they’d had lunch together yesterday.

  Suzy groaned before putting her hands around her neck as if she were choking herself. “I think it went okay in the end, but it was a long evening.” Looking across the room at Gray, she said, “I love that man, I really do, but I wanted to tape his mouth shut last night.”

  “Oh no,” Claire whispered, “not the jokes again.”

  “Oh yeah. Like we hadn’t discussed that very thing an hour before.”

  “Like dirty jokes?” Ava asked, seeming to be the only one not privy to what Suzy was talking about.

  Suzy shook her head, saying, “No, not really. The thing about Gray is that when he gets nervous, he tends to start cracking stupid jokes. Apparently, it runs in the family, because his mother says Gray’s father does the same thing. I mean, we’re sitting at the table answering all these serious questions about our views on child-rearing and I swear out of nowhere, he looks at the woman and says, ‘Knock, knock!’ We both just stared at him until the woman put her pen down and asked, ‘Who’s there?’ Then he says, ‘Little Old Lady.’ And then she of course stares him down some more before saying, ‘Little Old Lady who?’ And he says, ‘Wow! I didn’t know you could yodel!’” By this time, everyone was laughing, even Suzy. She gasped out, “I thought I would die, right there on the spot. The woman just looked at Gray like he had two heads, before picking her pen back up and acting like the whole thing never happened.”

  “Suz,” Claire said, giggling, “that’s completely adorable. He was probably just trying to loosen everyone up. Although it’s hard to picture Gray doing that, because he’s always so suave.”

  Ava, feeling an inexplicable need to defend the man she barely knew, spoke up. “Everyone handles stress in different ways. It sounds like he tries to inject some humor into uncomfortable situations. The jokes probably pop out before he even realizes what he’s doing.”

  Smiling at her husband, who was now looking at Suzy with so much love in his warm gaze that Ava was envious, Suzy said softly, “I know. He’s a little unpredictable, but he’s mine.”

  Beth bumped shoulders with her sister, saying, “Well, I bet if anything his jokes show that he would be a really good parent. He should get extra points for that. God knows you need a sense of humor when you have a child.”

  Ella pointed to the Skylanders cake sitting on the table behind them and said, “We probably need to get started with the main event. If I don’t get a huge slab of that cake within the next five minutes, I’m not responsible for my actions. At this point, it’s the only thing I can have that will make my eyes roll back in my head.”

  Emma snickered as she helped arrange the plates on the table. “Honey, you just grab that thing again tonight and don’t let go. There’s no way that any man can have a woman’s hand on his dick for more than five seconds without losing his mind.”

  “Yep,” Beth agreed. “And call your doctor tomorrow to find out if you can have some fun without going all the way.”

  They had all been so involved in their conversation that they hadn’t noticed the men moving closer. “Going all the way with what?” Declan asked as he moved up behind Ella.

  “With Dominic,” Ella sputtered, “Ava and Dominic.”

  Ava’s mouth fell open in shock as Declan’s smile turned to a scowl. Her eyes jerked to Mac, who appeared to have heard the whole thing if his snarl was any indication. Even the usually unflappable Dominic looked surprised. Ella turned to her, looking contrite. Great, now it appeared that Ava was going to have to be the sacrificial lamb to keep Declan from finding out that his wife was horny.

  Her brothers were both looking at her as if she were the new town tramp, while Jason, Nick, and Gray seemed to be unusually interested in the playground. Ava figured they were just desperately trying to pretend that they hadn’t heard anything. When Evan bounced up with Chrissy and Henry in tow begging for cake, Ava vowed to herself that he was getting the biggest gift next week that she could carry out of the damn store. He had just saved her from the awkward silence that had fallen over the entire group.

  Mac stood across the table during the birthday song and the gift presentation glaring daggers at her. After a while, it started to piss her off. What right did he have to judge her? If she wanted to plan a fake sex date with her fake boyfriend, who was he to object? After all, he was probably having plenty of real sex with his real girlfriend. She hadn’t even set out to make Mac jealous. That was never her goal. But damn it, how dare he stand over there looking so angry over her love life? If not for the fact that Mac and Dominic were best friends, she would walk over there right now and kiss Dominic so hard he’d never recover. Okay, maybe she wouldn’t quite have the nerve to do that, but she’d do something for sure.

  Emma walked up to her, forcing her from her heated eye-lock with Mac. “I think Ella rolled you under the bus there. If the big vein throbbing in Mac’s cheek is any indication, though, she might have done you a favor. He looks like he’s gonna combust.” They both glanced back over at Mac, who refused to look away. “Well, anyway, we’re gonna take off now. Brant is just itching to get over here and scold you, so I’m going to drag him out of here so he can have his tantrum in the privacy of the car. We also promised my parents we’d be back for an early dinner.”

  Ava turned to hug Emma, thanking her for intervening with Brant. “Please tell your parents I said hello. I’d love to see them before they go back to Florida.” Emma grabbed her purse and pulled a stiff Brant out the door.

  That left one brother, who took the opportunity to move to Ava’s side.

  “So, what’s going on with you, sis?”

  Trying for her best innocent expression, she said, “Just enjoying the party like everyone else.”

  Seeming exasperated, he said, “You know that’s not what I’m talking about. What’s all this with Mac and Dominic? Plus, I saw you on the back of Dom’s bike. Mac’s completely pissed too.”

  Ava had finally had enough. Did everyone give Mac a hard time when he had started dating Gwen? Were they worried about her feelings then? A little voice in her head said that she hadn’t professed her love for him the whole time they were such close friends, so it was different, but she was tired of listening to that rational, reasonable voice. She felt that her own family cared more about Mac than her.

  So she followed Emma’s lead by grabbing her purse before turning to Declan. “You know what—how about me? Aren’t you my brother? Maybe I could use a little of that support that you seem to be giving to your friend.” Declan flinched at the accusation, and she felt like a complete bitch as she stalked out of McDonald’s only to rea
lize when she stood on the sidewalk that she didn’t have a car. There was no way, though, that she was going to go back inside after what she knew was her childish exit. She stomped off toward the street, determined to walk home if necessary.

  She had only traveled a few yards when she heard the roar of a bike and Dominic pulled up next to her. “Get on, Blondie.” Not in any mood to argue and certainly having no better offers, she awkwardly climbed on the bike, wedging in behind him. For someone who’d never ridden a motorcycle, she was getting rather used to it. Regardless, it’d never be her first choice of transportation, but she didn’t have many options right now. “A little heads-up about the fact that we’re gonna be fucking soon would have been helpful,” he threw over his shoulder before pulling away. She tried to yell a denial at him, but the bike was too noisy for a conversation, so she held it in until he pulled to a stop in her driveway.

  After a particularly ugly dismount from the damn bike, she threw her hands on her hips, mad at the world. “Listen, you . . .” Ava inwardly groaned at the completely pathetic comeback. Thankfully, only a small grin pulled at his lips as he held his composure. “I did not say anything to anyone about wanting to do anything of the sort with you.”

  Lifting a sarcastic eyebrow, Dominic said, “Come on, babe, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Most women probably feel that way around me.” Looking her up and down in a way that made her breath catch, he added, “Normally, I’d have no problem at all obliging you, but you belong to Mac. So, if you can possibly keep from mentally undressing me while we’re trying to help each other out, that would be great.”

  Ava’s mouth dropped at the sheer size of his ego. His confident pose, leaning back on his bike, was the perfect complement to his over-the-top statement. Then she snapped. She had completely had it with the men in her life, and that included the smug asshole sitting in front of her. “You fucking man—” She stood taller thinking how much an insult was with some profanity in it. “I would love nothing better than to wrap my hands around your thick neck and choke you right now!”

  Dominic, appearing far from offended, said, “I think you’re just looking for ways to get those hands of yours on me, aren’t you, Blondie?”

  She grabbed handfuls of her hair in frustration, trying to control the anger coursing through her body. “You pig! I don’t want my hands anywhere on you, and for your information, I don’t belong to Mac regardless of what either one of you thinks.” Stabbing her chest, she added, “I belong to me, damn it, just to me!”

  Dominic stepped away from his bike, walking over to her with a strange expression on his face. It looked almost like pride. Had he missed her whole rant toward him? She was so surprised when he gently took her shoulders in his hands that she stood glued in place. “It feels good, doesn’t it, Blondie?”

  Still puzzled, she stood staring into his handsome face before whispering, “What?”

  He gave her a lazy grin in return before saying, “Being alive, being mad, and just letting the fuck loose. I’m thinking you don’t do that often.” The look on his face said that he didn’t think she ever did it. “You’re always wound so tight that you’re on the verge of going over the edge. I just gave you a little push today to help you let off some steam. Feel better?”

  Ava continued to gawk at him for another moment before she realized that she did feel better. Somehow the weight that usually rested on her shoulders had lessened. The persistent lump in her throat got maybe just a little smaller. She relaxed, releasing a breath. “I guess you’re a shrink now too, huh?”

  “Nope, but I’ve certainly been given enough pointers by the military to know how to deal with stress overload. Life can’t always be scripted, Ava, no matter how hard we try. Only fight the big battles that matter and don’t let the little things rip you to pieces.”

  “Wow,” she murmured, “that was actually pretty profound.” She looked at Dominic in new admiration. There were more layers to him than she could have imagined. He had intentionally set her off to show her the bigger picture. In that moment, she felt her eyes blur. He was so much like Mac that it was almost like sharing a moment with the man she loved so much.

  He cuffed her gently on the shoulder, before throwing a leg back over his bike. “I’ll text you tomorrow when Mac and I are headed back from our meeting rather than on the way there. I think it will work better. Otherwise, he’s likely to lose it and blow off the whole thing, and this is a big one for us.” When she nodded, he added, “You know, you can just stand up there. You don’t actually have to go through with it. Mac will freak just from you being there. Another set of bruises really aren’t necessary.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind. And, Dominic . . . ?” When he turned back to look at her she said, “Thanks for today. I think I needed that.” He waved a hand in her direction before taking off. With a lighter step, she walked toward her door, feeling for the first time that just maybe she could do this. She could be normal.

  Chapter Nine

  Mac drove through the streets of downtown Myrtle Beach listening to Dominic run through the highlights of the meeting they had just finished. Neither of them mentioned the whole scene with Ava at McDonald’s the previous day. He hadn’t let it go, though. He fully intended to find out just what in the hell was going on, and he doubted he could keep quiet much longer.

  This morning, though, was about their company, and he had needed to keep his shit together. They were in talks with the Oceanix Resort Company to provide security for their luxury flagship hotel. A Sunday meeting had been the idea of the owner, Seth Jackson, as he was going out of town for a week beginning tomorrow morning. There had been some recent theft issues within the hotel, and Jackson suspected it was an inside job. He was extremely unhappy with the progress by his current security company and was interested in hiring East Coast Security thanks in part to a glowing recommendation from Jason Danvers. It would be a big account for them, especially with the possibility of providing security for other Oceanix properties as well.

  He was completely absorbed with thoughts of expanding their business when Dominic said, “Hey, isn’t that Ava?” Mac didn’t have time to wonder how his friend could have recognized her from so far away. All he knew was that Dominic was pointing to the zip line ride, and as Mac squinted to look, he saw what appeared to be Ava’s BMW sitting in the parking area in front of the tourist attraction. Without thinking, he did a dangerous swerve across two lanes of traffic before coming to an abrupt stop next to Ava’s car.

  Mac jumped out of his Tahoe, looking up the countless steep steps to the top of the zip line. Without a doubt, he recognized the blond hair gleaming in the early-afternoon sun. “Ava!” he yelled as he started climbing the wooden steps. Was it too much to ask for a damn elevator when you needed one? By the time he reached the top, he was glad that he was in good shape; otherwise, he would never have made the climb in such a short time. Ava was already in a harness with her helmet on when he stepped out on the platform. He waved off the kid trying to sell him a ticket as he stalked toward her. Another kid who didn’t look old enough to shave was running through instructions when her eyes landed on him. Trying to appear halfway calm, he asked in an even voice, “What are you doing?”

  She didn’t seem particularly surprised to see him when she said, “Um . . . zip-lining?”

  Starting forward, he said, “Yeah, not anymore. Let’s get this stuff off you.” When he was just a few steps from reaching her, she stunned him by sticking her tongue out . . . and letting go. He felt his heart plummet to his stomach as she went flying across the wide expanse of space toward a tower in the distance. “Fuck!” He stomped back down the steps and ran into Dominic at the bottom. When the other man opened his mouth, Mac snapped out, “Call a cab. I’m going to be busy for a while.” Without waiting for a reply, he jogged across the field, making it to another set of steep steps. When he saw Ava’s long, tanned legs start the descent from above, he leaned against the building, literally shaking in anger, waiting f
or her to reach the bottom.

  “Hi.” She smiled broadly as she saw him. “Did you see me up there?” Was she fucking kidding him right now? Of course he’d seen her suspended on a cable, just one false move away from snapping her slender neck.

  “Let’s go.” Grabbing her hand, he started pulling her toward their cars in the parking area. Even as mad as he was, he was mindful of her smaller stride and adjusted his accordingly. Before she could form a protest, he had opened his passenger door and ushered her inside before walking around to the driver’s side.

  * * *

  As they were pulling away, she finally snapped out of her daze enough to protest, “Mac, where are we going? I can’t leave my car here.” But he ignored her as if she hadn’t spoken as he drove the familiar streets toward her apartment. The first trickle of unease prickled her skin as she wondered if she had pushed him too far this time. Maybe she should have taken Dominic’s advice and not actually jumped off the zip line platform right in front of Mac. When she saw him standing there, she hadn’t been planning on going through with it. She had taken herself by surprise when she jumped. It was probably the closest she had ever come to peeing her pants as she flew so high above the ground. Afterward, though, God, the rush had been so all-consuming. Her skin still tingled with adrenaline.

  She wasn’t sure what she had been expecting, but when Mac pulled into her parking place and came around to open her door, she was ready to make a smart remark about him having her car picked up before walking off. Instead he once again grabbed her hand and pulled her up a flight of stairs, waiting not very patiently while she opened her front door. Again, she prepared to say good-bye, but he pushed past her and she shut the door behind him, completely puzzled. Oh crap, he was glaring at her. She’d never really understood the meaning of that word before, but she did now. Raking an unsteady hand through his short hair, he said softly, “Avie, I’m so mad at you right now that I shouldn’t even be here. I don’t understand what’s going on in your head.” His eyes looked tormented as he asked, “Baby, are you trying to hurt yourself?”