Curses

by Lish McBride

  “Yes, nothing is sexier than a woman who could easily hack you into pieces.”

  “Right?” All the air went out of her then, her shoulders slumping. Val was almost completely deflated by the time she flopped back on the bed. “She’s the best.”

  “And this is bad because?”

  “It’s not. It’s amazing.”

  “Your words say this is a good thing, but the rest of you is disagreeing,” Tevin said.

  “It means there’s no way she’ll be interested in me. I’m not even the floor beneath her boot. I’m the dirt under the floor beneath her boot. I aspire to be the floor.” Val sighed.

  “It will work out, Val. Have a little faith in your own ability.”

  “I’ve changed my mind. I’m not going tonight. I’m never leaving this room again.”

  “Val, you are the best person I know, despite . . . whatever is happening here,” he said, waving at the dress. “I will help you, I promise. But please, as your friend, I’m begging you to wash your face and undo whatever horrible thing you’ve done to your hair.”

  Val didn’t cry, but her eyes were bright. He grabbed her chin and tweaked it. “You’ve finally found someone as impressive as you. We just need to show her that. Come on.” He stood, holding out a hand for Val and pulling her to her feet. In doing so, he caught a whiff of something strongly floral. “On second thought, perhaps a quick bath is in order? I’ll stay here and rummage through your wardrobe. And Val? Leave the dress. I’m going to give it a proper funeral.” He handed her a robe.

  Val came back bathed and scrubbed and looking much more like her usual self. Tevin handed her a set of fitted cream trousers and a matching shirt. Over that, he layered a formfitting emerald waistcoat. The design around the edges was a mix of acorns, clovers, and other flora. Tevin had shined Val’s dress shoes to a warm finish. He helped her into her formal dinner jacket—a matching cream—and tied her bow tie set in the same shade.

  Val went to touch the waistcoat, and Tevin smacked her hand away. “Careful, it’s silk.”

  “Where did you get this? It fits perfectly.”

  “Because it was made for you. I commissioned it for you when we had the tailor at Merit’s. You simply never looked.” He turned Val toward the mirror. “There. This is you. The color is good for your eyes and your hair. The cut flatters, but also moves easily, so you can showcase your form and grace.”

  Val looked at him in the mirror. “Do I need to use the lash tint? Or the perfume—”

  Tevin squeezed her shoulders. “No. You don’t need any of those things, and from what I’ve seen of Kaiya, she doesn’t strike me as one impressed by such, anyway. You want to sway her? Be upfront—no game playing. Stop hiding your interest. Be you. That’s what she’ll find impressive. You are extremely competent. Don’t underestimate how sexy that is.” He handed her the mask Merit had picked out for her, the feathered likeness of a falcon. “If none of that works, she doesn’t deserve you.”

  “Thanks, Tevin.”

  “You’re welcome. Now let’s go downstairs and never speak of that dress again.”

  * * *

  • • •

  The ballroom was lit by several chandeliers, the mage light a warm and steady glow. Tables were scattered around the sides, letting the dancers sit and eat when they chose to do so. Everything appeared enchanting or possibly enchanted, depending on how you looked at it. Through a clever use of paper cutouts over mage lamps, shadows of branches and leaves, or sometimes whole trees, stood out against the walls. Small tables were set here and there along the edges, their tablecloths dark and sparkling, making the fabric seem like snatches of night sky. Single candles graced the tables next to bouquets of twigs and fresh flowers. The effect gave the dance floor the aura of a clearing or midnight glade where creatures frolicked.

  Tevin saw all this from the doorway, as Val had stopped dead when she entered. Kaiya stood off to the side, speaking to several other fairyborn, including Glendon, Lady Zarla, and Latimer. Kaiya had veered away from her usual look, choosing a more Pieridaen-style gown of pure silver. The light material flowed around her like water, with no hint of lace or flouncing. She’d also left her hair down, a wall of jet falling straight and fine to the middle of her back.

  Val actually sighed, and Tevin imagined that he could almost see tiny hearts floating above her head. Then she started to edge backward. “This was a mistake.”

  Tevin, being the kind and supportive friend that he was, gave Val a good, hard shove against her back so that she had no choice but to start walking toward the table. Sometimes love needed a gentle nudge, and sometimes it needed a boot to the behind.

  It didn’t take long for Tevin to find Merit. She was dancing with Cedric, who was still getting used to being an ostrich. He didn’t have a mask, but he was wearing a bowler hat and a bow tie, and that was good enough, really. Merit was wearing the face of the beast, but as a mask, which rose several inches above her forehead and ended over the curve of her lips, leaving that fraction of her face free.

  Without the guise of the beast, Merit appeared smaller, even with the full skirts of her dress. The tight bodice was a deep purple and had elaborate silver embroidery that caught the light, building and growing as the design followed the pouf of her skirts. Small white flowers were braided into her hair, which had been pinned to the crown of her head. She spun and smiled, and in that moment, Tevin wanted to give her anything that would make her happy. Which meant marriage, the sooner the better, so she didn’t have to worry about her tincture. Didn’t have to worry about losing herself to the beast.

  “You think he knows he’s out of the running?” Amaury asked, surprising him. He hadn’t heard his brother approach.

  “No,” Tevin said. “I don’t.”

  “It’s down to Freddie and the prince now,” Amaury said. “Poor Merit.”

  Though most of those not in dresses were in formal tuxes, Latimer had adjusted his to match his mask. His gold suit paired with a lion mask that covered his face. His hair was down, and it was difficult to tell where the mane of the mask ended and his own hair began. The suit did everything it could to accentuate Latimer’s regal bearing and robust stature. Tevin also caught sight of the sisters, Wilhelmina and Diadora, dressed as a raven and an owl respectively.

  “Did you see the necklace he gave Merit?” Val said, returning with two glasses of champagne.

  “Yes.” It had been a smart gift, too. Tevin hated it. “He’s a paragon.”

  “I don’t like him. He’s smug,” Amaury said, rolling his shoulders.

  “They’re all smug.” Tevin downed his champagne. “If you’ve got something better, I’m listening.”

  Amaury crossed his arms, tapping his fingers along his biceps. “He smiles too much. How’s that?”

  “Amaury, that’s hardly incriminating,” Val said with a grin. “Besides, you don’t like anyone.”

  Amaury clucked his tongue. “Hyperbole. I like at least four people. Possibly five.” He used his finger to point and count. “Val, Kaiya. Ellery is growing on me, and Glendon.” He held up his hand with a flourish. “See? Four whole people.”

  “I’m not on that list?” Tevin asked.

  Amaury’s eyes were sharp behind the fox mask. “Tevin, you’re my brother. I love you more than air, but keep it to yourself. I have a reputation.”

  Tevin snorted. “Of course.”

  Amaury carefully touched his shoulder. “You’re my brother. We’re monsters, but we don’t eat our own.” His head tilted to the side. “We may not always like what we’ve become, but I would slaughter every single person in this ballroom if they hurt you or Kate.”

  Val squeaked indignantly.

  “Or Val,” Amaury amended. “Because if I don’t add her, she’ll use me for target practice.”

  “What about Lady Zarla?” Val asked.

  He
held his hand out, waffling it back and forth. “This close to shipping her off to Tirada.”

  “Thank you,” Tevin said. “For everything.”

  “Oh, I’m not doing it for you. Merit happens to be one of the people I’m fond of, which brings the total number to five. Aren’t I the belle of the ball? Five whole people.” He slapped Tevin on the back. “Now, go dance and keep an eye on the King of the Savannah over there, and I’ll do what I do best, shall I?”

  Val squinted at Amaury. “What are you going to do?”

  “What I always do at a ball. Go through other people’s things.” With that, Amaury disappeared into the shadows, leaving Tevin confused and a little overwhelmed, but feeling better than he had all evening.

  After a few minutes, Tevin caught sight of Kaiya, now wearing a marar mask, dancing with Glendon. Merit was still dancing with Cedric. As he watched, the song ended, and Merit curtseyed to the ostrich, who handed her off to a fairy lord in a rabbit mask. Tevin couldn’t place him.

  “It’s Freddie.” Val used one hand to adjust one of the falcon’s feathers away from her mouth. “I saw him at the drinks table a moment ago.”

  Merit smiled at the man in the rabbit mask as he reached for her hand. Tevin took a glass of champagne from Val and watched the dance. Even from here, Tevin could tell that Freddie was doing his best to charm Merit. He managed to make her laugh a few times, and she spent most of the dance smiling. Once the dance was finished, Latimer stepped up, handing his drink to Freddie and whisking Merit away. Freddie seemed surprised to have his prize stolen so quickly and efficiently. In the end he shrugged and drank Latimer’s champagne.

  Tevin didn’t even get close to Merit for the first hour. Instead he had to watch both Freddie and Latimer dance with her again, along with a handful of other people, all while feverishly reminding himself that this was a good thing. Besides their friends from Veritess, the baroness had invited local acquaintances as well, and either they were all very friendly or Lady Zarla was specifically sending people to him to keep him occupied and away from Merit. He finally had to excuse himself on the pretense that he needed to visit the privy, before ducking behind Glendon and circling around the ballroom so he could grab Merit’s wrist and sneak her out onto the veranda and into the shadows of the garden.

  “Tevin, slow down.” Merit yanked her arm back, not hard enough to break his grip, but enough to make him stop. “Why are you dragging me out into the gardens?”

  “It was the only way to get a moment with you,” Tevin said.

  She tilted her head, her mask sliding slightly to the side. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong, I just—” Tevin was suddenly irritated by the fact that he couldn’t see her face. He reached behind her and undid the ribbons. “I hate talking to people when I can’t see them.”

  She spun her finger in a circle, telling him he needed to turn around. “Is that because they’re harder to read?” She untied the ribbons of his mask, and he grabbed it, setting both masks on a bench.

  “Yes.”

  “And you need to read me?”

  No, he simply wanted to see her, but he couldn’t say that. Instead he cupped her face and held it up to the moonlight. Faint bruises purpled the skin beneath her eyes, which looked feverishly bright. “Merit, how much tincture have you had today?”

  “Two doses,” Merit admitted. “With a third in my pocket.”

  “Merit—”

  She jerked her chin out of his hands. “My mother did a lot to bring this together. For me, Tevin. She made an effort because I wanted to go home. I don’t want to disappoint her.”

  “So you’ll put yourself in danger?”

  “Did you bring me out here so you could lecture me?” Merit crossed her arms over her chest. “If so, you can skip it. It was my choice to double up on the tincture. She didn’t ask.”

  “Then why—”

  “My time is running out.” She fingered the silver locket around her neck absently. “And seeing Cedric the other night.” She clasped the locket in her fist. “I ate a live chicken, Tevin. Do you know what it’s like, waking up and not remembering something like that?”

  “It scared you.”

  Her eyes were wide when they met his. “I can’t stay a beast forever, Tevin. I just can’t.”

  He nodded, the lump in his throat hard to swallow around.

  “I need to choose, while I still have time.” She placed a hand on his chest. “And I can’t do that out here with you.”

  “I know,” he said, telling himself to step away. To take her arm and lead her back into the ballroom. It was the smart thing to do. The right thing. Instead he pulled her into his arms, cursing himself even as he did. She wrapped her arms around his waist and set her head on his chest. “I’ll take you back in. I promise. One song. Can we have one song?”

  She nodded against his chest, and they swayed to the music that floated out into the night air around them. They didn’t waltz. The dance had no name as far as Tevin knew. He didn’t want anything fancy. Dancing was an excuse to hold her close, to breathe her in. To feel the heat of her against him, her small hands fisted into the cloth at the small of his back. Neither of them admitting, even to themselves, that they wanted something they couldn’t have.

  When the song ended, Tevin stepped back and helped her put her mask on, but stayed in the garden when she returned to the ballroom. After a moment, he would go in. He wasn’t sure he could watch. But he had to stay, in case she needed him.

  He sat down on the steps, setting his mask beside him, and buried his face in his hands.

  Val sat down next to him, handing him a glass of punch. “Thought you might need this.”

  “You are my best friend,” Tevin said, raising the cup to his lips.

  “I know,” she said. “What are you going to do?”

  “I’m going to finish this punch.”

  “After that?”

  “We’ll do what we’re here to do. Get Merit married.” He needed to remember why he was here—what his goal was—and to refocus on that. “Then go back to where we belong.”

  “I’m not completely sure where that is,” Val said. “The magical place where we belong.”

  “Me, either.”

  Val leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. “I wish we could stay.”

  “Me too.” Tevin put his arm around her and wondered why he could never seem to stop reaching for the things he couldn’t have.

  CHAPTER 21

  SHE’S VERY PRACTICAL

  Merit slept fitfully. The dance had gone on for hours, and she’d taken another dose of bloom. It had been a bad idea, but for once, Merit had fun at a social event. She’d had so many dance partners, and having someone as handsome as Latimer hanging on her every word . . . She just couldn’t go back to the beast. She knew none of them really wanted her, but it had felt so nice to be desired that for a short time, she chose not to care.

  When she’d woken up this morning, she’d been on the floor. At some point during the night, she’d ripped off the sheets and coverlet, torn down the draperies, and made a nest in the corner of the room. The nest had been lined with feathers that must have come from her down pillows. She didn’t remember doing any of it.

  After several minutes of fighting off a clawing sense of panic, her throat loosened and she was able to draw calming breaths. Early-morning sun hit her windows with a gilding of wan gray light. The maid would come soon to draw the draperies and bring Merit a cup of tea, because for some reason last night she’d promised Freddie to get up early and go for a ride. She wouldn’t be able to set the room fully to rights. The pillows wouldn’t restuff themselves, and she didn’t have the tools to mend the window hangings. She extended her hands, grimacing at her claws. Even if she had a needle and thread, she couldn’t hold the wretched things. A sense of hopelessness washed over
her. What good was her title, her bloodline, any of it, if she couldn’t do something a child could do?

  Merit didn’t have time to wallow. She carefully folded the drapes, accidentally clawing a new hole in the process. There was nothing she could do about the pillows. As she tried to scoop up some of the feathers, she found claw marks on the floor. Embarrassment snaked through her. These weren’t the rooms of a fairyborn heir. These were the rooms of an animal. Her eyes stung as she squared her shoulders. This was the best she could do. Messy and damaged, but at least the nest was gone, making it look less like a creature’s den.

  She wrapped herself in a dressing gown and rang for the maid to fetch Ellery.

  * * *

  • • •

  Ellery arrived looking immaculate and neat, like they’d been up for hours.

  “I hate how well rested you look,” Merit grumbled.

  “Upside of not dancing the night away,” Ellery said. “Instead I haunted your billiard room for a few hours.” They considered the room and Merit, taking it all in but not saying anything. “Made a few coins, and then retired early like the sensible spriggan that I am. How are you feeling?”

  “Lousy,” Merit grumbled.

  Ellery nodded as if this was to be expected. The healer dug around in their bag and pulled out a paper envelope. There was a knock on the door, the maid arriving with the tea at last. Ellery took the heavy tray, which included toast, tea, coffee, a pitcher of water, and a glass, from the maid before shooing her away. Ellery set the tray down on a small table in front of Merit before handing her the packet of powder. “Take all of this. I suggest following it up with a large glass of water. It will taste wretched, but you’ll feel better.”

  “What is it?” Merit said, tipping the envelope into her mouth. Ellery was right. It tasted like licking a dirty metal bowl.

  “Spriggan hangover cure.” They handed Merit her tea before taking a seat by the small table. “You could cancel, you know. Stay in bed.”