“The weather? The spring is warming nicely.” His mouth pressed into a thin line. Because he knew what was happening.
“Best not to speak on that topic.”
“Is that how you’re going to be?” He shook his head. She looked like a rare flower, but her stem had an iron center. She was not nearly as fragile as she appeared.
Her chin notched. “It’s not how I am. It’s how you are.”
He winced. That was a fair point. He shook his head. She didn’t allow him to get away with anything. Odd. But he didn’t mind it. In fact, after years of lawlessness on his part, he almost enjoyed the fact that she held him accountable. “Which topic would you like more information on, keeping safety in mind and our current surroundings?”
She turned her head to the side, assessing him through the veil. “Since safety is a concern, perhaps you can tell me about your family.”
His chest tightened. She’d picked his weakest point first.
But to not answer…
He was dangerously close to losing her trust. She grew increasingly resistant to him and while he didn’t want a match with a great deal of emotion, trust seemed like one they couldn’t do without. To even convince her of his and Decadence’s plan, he’d need her to trust him.
“My mother died when we were young. I don’t know to this day what happened. My father passed when I was seventeen. He was old, it was winter, he started on a cough from which he never recovered. I took on the title and the guardianship of my younger sister, Lily.”
“Oh,” she murmured softly, lifting a gloved hand to her mouth. At least he assumed that’s what she was doing.
He looked down at the table. “When I was two and twenty, Lily got sick. It started with her just being tired. But then she found a lump near her armpit.” He swallowed. Six years had passed but it still hurt to discuss.
“A lump?” Avery asked. “How awful.”
He shook his head. “I took her to multiple doctors, a surgeon. We tried everything…” He couldn’t say more. Not here. But memories of the treatments flashed through his mind. Many had seemed worse than the disease. And in the end, none of the treatments had cured her. The exact opposite, in fact.
But her hand dropped to the table and Avery’s fingers extended toward his. He slipped his hand into hers, glad she wasn’t asking him to share any more. “I’m so sorry.”
“She was only seventeen,” he said, though this time, she hadn’t asked. “Her entire life should have been ahead of her.”
The doorknob rattled and Avery slipped her fingers from his, tucking her hands back in her lap as the innkeeper brought in a healthy pot of lamb stew.
His stomach had been grumbling moments before, but as the hot broth was ladled into bowls, he found he didn’t have much of an appetite.
The innkeeper left again, and he sat, staring at the bowl, pushing around bits of meat.
“Life can be so unfair.”
He lifted his head to see that she’d pushed back the veil so that it covered her hair but not her face. The black fabric framed her graceful features, highlighting her beauty. “You don’t think that a disease like that is caused by wrongdoing?” He hated the very notion but so many believed that one got sick because they deserved to.
She shook her head. “I don’t. If it were true, my father would have been plagued by every disease known to man.”
He set down his spoon. Her father.
Isabella’s parting words to him had been a plea to be gentle with Avery. The other woman had claimed that Avery’s father had been cold and cruel. From what little he knew, he believed it. “Tell me.”
She shook her head. “He was the sort of man who was never satisfied with what he had, and he’d take from those around him to get more. My dowry is gone, my mother’s jewels, the ones she’d promised would belong to me were sold shortly after her death.” Her hand tightened about her utensil. “He stole from my cousins, from my uncle. And all the while, he told us how useless and awful we were. As though it was our fault he didn’t have more.”
He winced. “You can never please a person like that.”
She nodded in agreement. “I gave up trying a long time ago. I might have slipped away if I hadn’t had my cousins to show me what a real family looked like.”
His heart had been broken when Lily had passed because he’d loved his sister with all his heart and because he’d been powerless to help her. It was a position he’d promised himself he’d never be in again.
But Avery had been powerless in a different way. He imagined being trapped in a home like that. It was awful. “I have known from the first moment I met you that you were very strong. Now I understand why.”
She gave him a sad smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Let’s eat, shall we? We don’t want our stew to grow cold.”
He picked up his spoon and dipped it into the bowl. This afternoon would be filled with uncomfortable conversation. Might as well fortify himself.
Chapter Four
They’d been riding in silence for the past hour, but Avery was hesitant to break the unspoken truce that had risen up between them.
Mostly because what she’d shared at the inn had left her feeling raw. Why had she said so much about her father? She rarely discussed him with anyone.
And while she was not ashamed or even upset about her father’s treatment, Avery just didn’t see the point of sharing. Her father’s abusive behavior happened in the past. With him gone, she no longer had to deal with his horrific treatment.
So why had she spoken about him at all? She chewed her lip as she considered. Noah had been sharing too and somehow… Her brow wrinkled up. Somehow, she trusted him to listen without judgment. Was that why she didn’t usually talk about her father? Was she worried about what other people might think of him? Of her?
The veil sat on the seat next to her and she fingered the lace around its edge. She done the work herself. She’d retreated into embroidery after her mother died. Needlework had given her an excuse to keep her head down and her hands busy and it meant that her father couldn’t see her expression as he ranted and raved nor, because she was working, did he actually expect a reply.
She’d grown quite good over the years and truth be told, she enjoyed the endeavor. It left her free to think as she worked, and she’d sorted out a great many feelings as her hands moved. Now she needed the activity more than ever. “Might I stop in the next village and pick up a few supplies?” she asked.
“Of course,” he answered, turning from the window to look at her. “What do you need?”
“Just an embroidery needle and thread and—”
“Done.” He waved his hand as his eyes travelled to her veil. “Did you do the work on your veil?”
She smiled down at the sheer fabric, intricately adorned with a scalloped pattern. “I did.”
He held out his hand. “May I?”
A flush of pleasure heated her cheeks once again as she handed it over. Few people had ever shown an interest and the fact that he had… “I find the work relaxes me, especially when I’m tense.”
He nodded. “The detail is stunning.” He gave her back the cloth. “Perhaps you could do a few of my neck squares?”
“Of course,” she said but she lowered her head. That was a task usually relegated to a wife. And while she owed him a large debt of gratitude, the lines of proper behavior were completely and utterly blurred during this trip. “How much time do I have to work on a design before we reach your home? Wherever that is.”
He cleared his throat. “We’re beginning on the questions I see. Well done, by the way. You really slipped that one into the conversation nicely.”
“Thank you,” she said, then grinned as she peeked at him through her lashes. He was so pleasant to talk with.
“We’re going to my estate, Heartwell, just south of Cromer, on the east coast. It will take us all of today and most of tomorrow. We’re lucky. The weather has held, and the roads aren’t too bad.”
She nodded.
“And when will we return to London?”
He hesitated then, his chin tucking lower as he examined his hands before answering. “I’m not certain. Maybe six months.”
“Six months?” Her jaw dropped. “I’m to stay with you for six months?”
He lifted a shoulder, scrubbing along his jaw with his open hand. “I think Isabella and Bash will join us at some point.”
Confusion clouded her mind as she attempted to understand. Why would Bash send her away for so long? “When? Why wouldn’t I return with them? Are they staying with you too?”
She saw his mouth twitch down, his face tensing. “They’ll stay for a time.”
She clutched her fists in the folds of her dress. He was being evasive again.
Which, as far as bad habits went, it was one she could tolerate. It was a far cry better than what she’d grown up with. But she was tired of the shroud in front of her eyes and she didn’t mean the mourning veil. Their conversations often went in circles. “Just tell me what you’ve been dancing around.”
He drew in a deep breath. “Bash and I negotiated a settlement before I came to fetch you last night.”
Dread settled in the pit of her stomach. “Settlement?”
He pushed forward from his seat, his knees touching hers even as he reached out. She didn’t extend her hands, instead she kept them pressed into her skirts, but he gently separated them and held her fingers in his.
“Avery,” he said, drawing in a deep breath.
He’d yet to use her given name, and the fact he did now made her shift in her seat with discomfort. Whatever he was about to say was important. “Yes?” she whispered.
“It was a settlement for marriage.”
She blinked, staring at him. Her mind had gone numb. “Marriage?”
He gave her another of those soft smiles. “Yes. Marriage. I appreciate your surprise. With most women marrying an earl would have been the first thought that occurred to them when we were alone.”
That was true. And it should have occurred to her. If she hadn’t been so set on not marrying, she might have realized that Bash would never have allowed her to leave his home with this man without a contract in place. “You shouldn’t.”
“Shouldn’t?” he asked as he laced his fingers through hers. His touch was a comfort that she shouldn’t indulge in, it confused her. His words were what upset her, why should his touch be the cure? “Shouldn’t appreciate you?”
“Well that too,” she huffed, attempting to pull her hands from his. He held firm. “You shouldn’t want to marry me.”
His brow furrowed. “Why not? You’re accomplished, attractive. Your family connections are suitable.”
She picked around the edges of what was wrong with his statement. Something was off but her thoughts weren’t working correctly. She wished he’d stop touching her now. Had she thought it a comfort? In actuality it was a distraction, and it muddled her mind. She looked away, willing the fog in her head to clear. He had some affect on her that confused her thoughts.
She drew in a breath. Then it hit her. “But you agreed to marry me before we’d even met.”
He dropped her hands. “I did.”
“Why?”
He shook his head. “I don’t want to—”
She tsked. “Let me guess. You don’t wish to discuss it.” Free from his touch, her mind began to turn again. She didn’t look at him, it was almost as distracting. No matter his expression, she was drawn to him.
He drew in a shuddering breath. “I don’t.”
She nodded. “That’s fine. I don’t really wish to discuss it either.”
“What,” he said, surprise lacing the single word. “You don’t?”
“No.”
“Why not?” he asked. She looked down at her lap, still avoiding his gaze but noted that his knees were still incredibly close to hers. If she pushed forward the tiniest bit, they’d be touching again.
“Because.” She shrugged, remaining exactly where she was. “Your reasons don’t matter. There will be no marriage between us.”
Noah realized his mouth was hanging ajar and so he snapped the damn thing shut. If he wasn’t mistaken, she’d just rejected him. “Are you saying no to my proposal?”
She shook her head. “No. That’s not what I’m saying.”
Relief made his shoulders limp. He straightened them back up. “Good. Because—”
“Saying no would imply there was a proposal. There wasn’t.”
He drew in a breath, the realization settling over him. Of course. She was irritated that he and Bash had made these plans without her. Their schemes had been why he’d held off telling her about them to begin with. “Then I’ll begin again. Avery—”
She held up her hand. “Don’t bother. I didn’t mean that I wanted you to pose the question. Regardless of how you broach the topic, my answer will be the same.”
Noah pushed forward again, his knees bumping into hers, making her jump back. Was she frightened? It was the last thing he intended. He eased back once again. “But why?”
She looked at him then. While her brown eyes were still large with an air of vulnerability, they also looked…angry. Tension pulled at the corners, her brows drawn down in accusation.
“Why?” he repeated, not sure what else to say.
“I don’t wish to discuss it,” she replied, her arms crossing.
Damn. She had a way of turning the tables and using his own words against him. “I’m a titled lord. You’re the daughter of a baron. You should want to make a match—”
“I’m not doing things in my life just because I should,” she bit back as she broke her angry stare and looked out the window.
“You’ll be ruined.”
She shook her head. “I don’t care.”
He blinked, remembering how she wanted to go without the veil. Christ. “You mean that? You don’t care if you’re ruined?”
She looked at him again. “Why did you agree to marry a woman you’d never met? You’re an earl. You can have your pick.”
Her gaze swung back to his and they held an accusation as though she knew his reply already. As though she’d realized the man he’d become after Lily’s death. Morally bankrupt. “That would require participating in society, which I don’t fancy.”
Her brows lifted. “A single garden party and you could be engaged. That is too much?”
“You’re remarkably good at finding my weak points, you know that don’t you?”
This time she winced and her arms, which had been crossed in anger, now seemed to embrace her body. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”
If she’d been able to sniff out his soft spots, he hadn’t a clue what he’d just said to upset her so.
This time, he rose, crossing the carriage and taking a seat next to her. He wrapped his arms about her too and to his complete amazement, she settled in his embrace, her head falling on his chest as she held onto his waist.
“There is no need to apologize. I am admiring your ability to figure out what I am trying to hide.”
She shook her head against his chest. “But my father…” And her voice caught a bit.
“What about him?” Noah asked as he dropped his cheek to the top of her head. Her lovely floral scent wafted about him as she settled her body close to his.
“When he wasn’t demanding, he was manipulating.”
He chuckled then. Was she worried she was like her father? “Avery.” And then he kissed the top of her head. He wasn’t sure why he did it. They’d known each other for less than a day and she’d just rejected his proposal, but her hurt mattered to him and he wanted to comfort her. The fact that her hair was like silk under his lips, that had nothing to do with it. “You have not attempted a single bit of manipulation. In fact, you’ve been so straightforward, I am almost disconcerted by your candor. If one of us has been less than honest…”
“Tell me then, why did you agree to a match with me?” She lifted her head then, her gaze meeting his.
“Because of the gaming hell?”
At least she knew about that. But of course, she did. Isabella had surely told her all about the Den of Sins. “Partially.” He drew in a deep breath. “I’m a known rake.”
“Oh?” She sat up a bit. “I’ve run off with a rake?”
Why did she sound happy? He crinkled his brow. “Yes. Why?”
She gave him a ghost of a smile. “That makes my ruination far easier.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” She was still pressed against him. Still looking up at him. Noah still wished to kiss her. “I didn’t take you out of London to ruin you.”
“No,” she answered. “You removed me for my safety. Mission accomplished.”
The little tart. “You seem to misunderstand. I saved you under the condition that I would marry you.”
“Will it hurt your reputation as a rake that you actually go around saving innocent women? Because I can assure you that most people will just assume you pulled me away to have your way with me.”
He nearly choked. Because she was still snuggled against his side and having his way sounded rather delightful. “No. That’s not the problem.”
“What is?” A single brow dropped down and she looked delightfully ridiculous.
“I took you from London because I was supposed to get a wife out of the bargain.”
She waved her hand. “Perhaps you should have told me all this at Bash’s instead of being so evasive. I could have saved you the trouble.”
“And left you to those men?” he cried. Then he realized what he’d just said. Because that sounded like he really cared. Like he was worried for her safety. And he didn’t; he wasn’t.
Not at all.
He didn’t care about any female. And certainly not about Avery after only knowing her for the less than a single day.
He lifted himself off the seat and crossed back to his.
Distance. That’s what he needed. But the carriage was dreaded small.
Chapter Five
Earl of Infamy Page 3