Montana Cherries (The Wildes of Birch Bay Book 1)

by Kim Law

  She shook her head. Right or not, her jealousy won out. “Not if another woman has been here.”

  Yes, she’d told him to move on. And she’d meant it. She hadn’t thought she would be back. She hadn’t thought she’d ever feel less than abnormal.

  But she was, and she did.

  And the very thought of Ben making love to another woman inside the house he’d once suggested could be theirs brought bile to the back of her throat. She stared at the large house sitting quietly in the dark.

  She could move on from him dating. If she wanted him, she’d have to.

  But did she have to see where he’d taken another woman?

  “Take me back to the house, please,” she requested.

  He turned off the car.

  “Ben.” She whipped around to him. “I asked you to—”

  “No!” he shouted. “No one has been here. No woman. I couldn’t stand the thought of it. I only wanted you here, don’t you get that? It’s you, dammit. Only you. Yet I’m so hurt, and so angry, that you may not even be enough. I don’t know. But I want you to see my house.” His voice lowered with his last sentence, and she gave a hurried nod before climbing from the car.

  Did that mean she could hope?

  Ben unlocked the side door, and led her in through the kitchen. His house was warm and inviting, and her dad had been right. In the daylight, there would be spectacular views from his back windows. But even with the enthusiastic greeting from Haley’s dog, Dani struggled to feel welcome. Not with Ben standing so stiffly beside her.

  She followed along behind him as he showed her the house, her coat still on, and her arms crossed over her chest, and she appropriately complimented the spaces that she saw. It was a fabulous home.

  It was a place she could see herself in.

  What had he meant, exactly, that it was only her? Did he still love her?

  “Why did you come to the house tonight?” she asked. That question had been burning in her mind since Gabe had told her Ben would be there. Why would he come? Either he was over her—and had truly moved on—or . . .

  What?

  He wanted to see her?

  He wanted to have this talk?

  They stood in Haley’s room now, and as Dani looked out over the lake, Ben looked at her. “I came because I was invited,” he answered simply.

  “Yet you knew I would be there,” she pushed back. She didn’t turn to him as she spoke, instead maintaining her visual on the dark night beyond the window. It was easier than facing him. “Why did you come?” she repeated.

  “Because I couldn’t stay away.”

  She finally looked at him then, her gaze drawn to the hollowness of his eyes. He didn’t want to care about her anymore; she could see that inside him. But he did.

  “I came because, whether I want to admit it or not, we’re not finished. I need answers.”

  She nodded. “And are you getting them?”

  He took her in, and for the first time tonight he seemed to look deeply enough to actually see her. He stared into her eyes, took in the twist of her hands and the protective barrier of her coat.

  She believed that he saw her fear.

  That he might see how terrified she was of losing him for good.

  “You said you could love me now,” he told her.

  “I do love you now.”

  His gaze heated, but he said nothing else. The look, though, it empowered her. Telling him that she loved him hadn’t been as hard as she’d thought. And the way he was staring back at her . . . she began to truly hope that all might not be lost.

  “It’s the real kind of love,” she went on. “Not the kind where I want to wash your clothes or do your dishes for you. As a matter of fact, I’ll be fine if I never do dishes again.” She forced herself to loosen her stance and lowered her arms. “I love you, Ben. The right way. But I also love me. So to go back to your earlier question at the house . . . am I back? Yes. Forever. No matter what happens between me and you.”

  All she could do then was wait.

  She’d laid her cards on the table, and her heart was in his hands.

  A muscle ticked in his jaw. “You don’t need New York?”

  “No.”

  “Just like that?”

  She pulled in a breath and blew it back out. “It wasn’t just like that. I spent three months in therapy. I’ve worked really hard on myself. New York was my way to not be around my mother. To not be my mother,” she stressed. “But I’m not her. And I believe that now. So no, I don’t need New York. I had a job I loved here. I like working for myself. I enjoy helping my clients. I don’t need anything else.” She paused before adding, “Except you.”

  “Christ,” he mumbled under his breath. “You . . .”

  He stopped trying to talk and just looked at her. She stared back, doing her best to show him anything at all that he needed to see. She was here. And she was his, if he would have her.

  She could be forever.

  “Damn, Dani.”

  He pulled her to him then, and a moan of relief slipped out of her. His mouth found hers, and she clutched at him. His lips were hot and seeking, and they clung to her with the same desperate need that she felt. She didn’t want to ever let go.

  Only, the kiss ended too soon.

  She whimpered when he pulled away.

  “I love you,” he ground out.

  She nodded as tears filled her eyes. “I love you. I’m so sorry, Ben. I never meant to hurt you.”

  “I know.” He pulled her back to him and just held her. “I do. And I see how good you are now.” He looked down at her. “Yet still the woman I love.”

  “Do you think we could date?” her voice quivered. “See where this could go?’

  He laughed. “Babe. I know where this is going to go. So before we commit to doing anything, there’s one more thing I need to get off my chest.”

  “Oh, God,” she groaned. “You slept with her.” Pain sliced through her.

  “What?” He shook his head. “No. I’ve slept with no one but you. Shit, Dani. I forced myself to kiss her after three dates, and that ended it. It’s only you. Always you. I don’t want anyone else.”

  She nodded, loving his words. “Then what do you need to tell me?”

  He took her hand, and he led her from Haley’s room. Turning outside the door, she followed him down the hall until they reached another room. When he pushed the door open, she saw that it was the master bedroom. It had the view. The stars were bright enough that even in the dark she could make out the lake and the surrounding mountains through full-length windows. A deck sat outside a set of French doors, and Ben took them to it.

  The wind remained cold, but he stepped behind her and wrapped her in his arms, and she would forever be warm enough. They gazed at the water together, and he pointed out his beach. And his boat dock.

  “That spot right there,” he said into her ear. “If we do this, I’m eventually going to make love to you right there.” He turned her to him. “And I’m eventually going to ask you to marry me.”

  She stared at him. She couldn’t breathe.

  “We stop here if you aren’t ready for that,” he told her. “Because I won’t lose you again. I can’t. I can’t have you in my life for a short time, and let you walk out of it ever again. So if we do this, you have to be prepared to say yes.”

  She nodded. And tears fell. She couldn’t have asked for anything more.

  “When you ask me,” she began, her voice no longer shaking. “I promise I’ll say yes.”

  He kissed her for real, then, and it didn’t stop after a few seconds.

  chapter thirty

  Two and a half weeks later, Dani, Haley, and Jenna were in the den at Ben’s house while Ben had disappeared upstairs to his bedroom. Both girls were out of school for the holiday break, an
d Ben had offered to bring Jenna to the house for a few days, to allow the friends to spend some time together. Thus, the four of them had just returned from LA where they’d visited Ben’s mother before heading to Disneyland. Haley had never been to the park, and since Jenna wasn’t getting her Christmas trip to New York, they’d all spent the past two days riding rides and hanging out with princesses.

  It had been fun. But exhausting.

  Now they were back in Montana, with Gabe and Michelle planning to arrive the following week for their dad’s wedding, and once again, everyone would be home at the same time. This time for Christmas. Dani couldn’t wait to see them all.

  “When’s Daddy gonna get done?” Haley complained from her spot in front of the fireplace. Ben was unpacking clothes he’d recently had shipped from California, and making sure he had a suit to wear to the wedding.

  “He’ll be down soon,” Dani answered. She closed the top of her laptop, deciding work could wait, and took in both girls with their newly purchased Cinderella dolls—including pumpkin carriage and glass slippers—spread out all over the floor. “Did you need him for something?”

  “We need him to be our prince,” Jenna replied, holding up the prince doll.

  The girls had talked Ben into purchasing pretty much every Cinderella accessory available while at Disneyland, including a tall, dark, and handsome prince.

  “How about if I be the prince?” Dani asked. She rose from the sofa and moved across the room.

  “You can’t be a prince, Miss Dani,” Haley said. “You’re a girl. You’re a princess.”

  Dani chuckled. “I guess I am. But I could pretend until your daddy gets back.”

  Haley and her dad were close these days, and though Dani never felt like a third wheel, she was always aware that she wasn’t yet an official part of their family. But Ben had promised her that day would come. She just had to be patient.

  And though it had been less than three weeks, her patience was wearing thin.

  They saw each other every day, their connection was as strong as ever, and she had no doubt he was the love of her life. She wanted to marry that man, and soon.

  As in, today, if they could make it happen.

  But instead of marrying her prince, she would play one with the girls.

  She lowered to the floor, and the three of them began acting out the fairy tale. Haley and Jenna took turns being the evil stepsisters—as well as being Cinderella—and Dani deepened her voice an octave and became the handsome prince.

  As they played, she watched both girls that she loved so much. LA had been good for Jenna, if for no other reason than it had brought her and her daddy closer together.

  It might not save her brother’s marriage, but it had given him his daughter.

  “What did you ask Santa for Christmas?” Dani asked them both.

  Jenna looked up from dancing Cinderella around the ballroom floor with the prince. “More dolls,” she said. “I need more princesses and princes.”

  “Me too,” Haley agreed. Then the girl bit her lip and sent Dani an angelic smile. “I wanted to ask for a new mommy, but I already have you.”

  “Awww, sweetie.” Dani’s heart soared. She stood and circled the toys to pick up Ben’s daughter, and hugged her tight. As she squeezed the little girl, her gaze landed on the photo Ben had framed and placed on the mantel. It was of her from years ago, lying on the dock late at night. He claimed it was his favorite picture.

  The clock beside it began to chime—it was noon—and Jenna gasped from the floor.

  “Cinderella has to leave the ball before her carriage turns into a pumpkin.” Jenna hurriedly ran the doll to the carriage while Dani and Haley watched from above.

  And then Haley sucked in a sharp breath.

  Dani lifted her gaze at the sound to find Ben standing in the doorway, all tall and hot in a sexy tailored suit, and she completely lost her breath herself. He was magnificent.

  “Daddy, you look like a prince.”

  Ben smiled, the smile that made Dani squeeze her thighs together, and he crossed the room as the clock continued to chime. In the story, time was running out, but as Dani stood there looking at the man she loved, with his daughter snuggled in her arms, she knew that their time was only just beginning. They had the rest of their lives to be together.

  He stopped in front of them. “What do you think?” he asked Dani. “Do I look prince-like?”

  She slowly nodded—while her thoughts went way past naughty. With the trip to California, they’d had precious little alone time lately, and she could sorely use some. She so wished the girls weren’t in the room at that moment.

  “Very much so,” she murmured. She needed to get that man alone.

  From the gleam in his eyes she could tell that he knew exactly what she was thinking.

  “Good.” He took her hand in his and kissed her fingers, one at a time, and Haley giggled in her arms. Montana let out a bark, and Jenna put down her dolls to watch.

  Then Ben dropped to one knee and pulled out a ring.

  “He is a prince,” Jenna whispered.

  Ben looked up at Dani then, love shining from his eyes. “What do you say, babe? Will you be my princess? I know it’s only been a few weeks, but I can’t wait any longer. I love you. No more living in town in that tiny little apartment. I want you here with me. Where you belong. Will you marry me, and be mine and Haley’s forever?”

  Haley held her breath, and Jenna froze in her spot on the floor. Dani could sense their anticipatory gazes, but neither said a word. They wanted to see the fairy tale come true.

  So did Dani.

  Instead of answering, she put Haley down, then she lowered to her own knees and faced Ben. She cupped his jaw in her hands, and kissed him tenderly, his touch filling her with love and promises, and she knew that she could never be luckier.

  She’d found herself, as well as the man of her dreams.

  “I love you,” she told him when they pulled apart. “A love as huge as the Montana sky we sit together and look at every night. And yes, Ben. The man of my dreams. I’ll marry you. I’ll be your wife, your princess. I’ll be whatever you need me to be. I’m yours. For the rest of our lives.”

  “I just need you to be you.”

  She nodded. She could do that.

  She would do that with pleasure.

  Holding out a trembling hand, she gazed on as Ben slipped an incredibly huge diamond on her finger. She took it in, kissed him one more time for good measure, and turned her gaze to the kids.

  They smiled with bright anticipation in their eyes, but for once, they were speechless.

  “Looks like I already got what I want for Christmas,” Dani told them. She winked at the girls, and kissed Ben once more. “I got my prince.”

  Acknowledgments

  This book was originally written back in 2011, and in its first iteration it was shorter, simpler, and . . . just okay. Then my agent sold it, and I quickly had to make it longer, more complex, and . . . much better! The speed with which this had to be done caused me great heartburn (and I suspect before it was done my agent had some of her own), along with a huge loss of sleep. But in the end, I love this book. I love the setting, the family, and I love the drama. And yes, I did eventually get some sleep.

  Thanks to Nalini Akolekar for selling the book, to Maria Gomez for buying the book, to Chuck Henry for letting me know there were cherry orchards in Montana, to Keena Kincaid for walking long distances on the beach to help me figure out what I wanted to do to make it “bigger,” and to Anne Marie Becker and June Love for participating in last-minute brainstorming to help me get the final scenes just right (when my brain was too tired and I couldn’t do it myself!).

  And a special thanks—the most important thanks—to my copy editor, Diane Sepanski, for going above and beyond to help me get this story just right. You kno
w what having you work on this book meant to me, so I won’t go into it here. But thank you. A million times thank you. And huge, huge hugs. I’m sending you a gorgeous bouquet of flowers (in my head) right this very moment. I hope you enjoy them!

  As I said, I love this book. It’s special to me for a number of reasons, and my fingers are crossed that readers will love it, too. But mostly, I hope this book touches someone who needs to know that they’re not alone.

  Narcissistic Personality Disorder is real, and doesn’t always get the attention it needs. People are damaged by the words and actions of a parent or loved one, and they may never understand why. Adult children who’ve lived with this disorder may continue to wonder for their entire lives if it’s just them. Did they do something wrong? They may always assume it’s their fault.

  But it’s not. And you’re not alone.

  You’re a survivor.

  You got dealt a rotten hand in life.

  But you can move on.

  There are resources available on the Internet and books on this subject in libraries and bookstores. I urge you to read up on this disorder whether you think this is something you’ve lived with, personally, or not. You might discover a piece of information that’s the key to helping a friend. A nugget that’ll make him or her suddenly not feel so alone in the world.

  And you might discover a wealth of information to help you.

  I felt drawn to write this book, and I can’t even explain why. But my sincere hope is that it’ll shed light on a disorder that is still relatively untalked about. Women—men—should not feel they’ve done something wrong to be undeserving of a parent’s love. They shouldn’t have to suffer because someone else didn’t have the capacity to love them.

  One last note: Due to the length of time that can realistically be covered in a romance novel, Dani’s recovery period in this book was portrayed at a speed which, for most, would be unattainable. (Additionally, NPD often engenders a family fracturing that was beyond the scope of this novel.) As I stressed in the book, recovery is a lifetime journey, and simply getting to Dani’s level of function would likely take well more than a few months. There are many steps to work through in the process. And many setbacks to be expected along the way. But with determination and the healthy willingness to face your hurts, it can be the best path you’ve ever traveled.