As Silver Is to the Moon

by R A Watt

  She grabbed my hand, holding it in both of hers. “For some reason, against all logic, I almost believe you. You have this weird, reassuring presence. Has anyone ever told you that?”

  “No.” I tried to gently pull my hand back. I was a fake. I was her nightmare.

  “It . . . it makes me feel safe.”

  It shouldn’t.

  Rachel was staring at me intently, and I at her, but not for the same reason. I had to snap myself out of it. “Has anyone ever told you that you have this weird, super positive and happy presence?”

  She laughed. “Well, not in so many words, but Sybil has mentioned it. Though for her, I’m not sure it’s necessarily a good thing.”

  “Well, it is,” I said, and I meant it. Her positivity was infectious, and her quiet nearness made me feel calm. Her hands on mine felt cool.

  There were these impenetrable walls around Sybil that made me want to get through them. It was like a challenge. But with Rachel, she let me in; let me see her as she was. It was a nice change. With Rachel, it wasn’t a constant battle. It was easy and comfortable.

  Except Rachel didn’t know what evil lurked inside me. Sybil did.

  “Teavan?” she asked.

  “Huh?”

  “You looked like you were trying to stare into my soul.”

  I was staring into my own. “Sorry. Just lost in thought, I guess.”

  “Are you okay? You seem . . . different today.”

  Not only am I your worst nightmare, I’m also in love with your cousin. I’m a fraud.

  “Just tired.”

  I needed to leave.

  Her eyes flicked up to the door and her face cracked into a grin. “Come in!” she waved with her free hand. Sybil was there with a small bag in her hand. She had been watching. Slowly and discreetly, I tried to pull my hand away, but Rachel tightened her grip.

  “My two favorite people.” Rachel smiled, patting the other side of the bed. “Well, besides my parents.”

  Stiffly, Sybil sat down and passed Rachel the bag. “Here is the stuff you wanted.”

  “Thanks,” Rachel said, putting it on the bedside table.

  Sybil and I nodded to each other, but she said nothing.

  “I should let you two catch up, have some alone time,” Sybil said, not looking at me. “We’ve already had our visit today.”

  “No! Stay! You can both stay, this place is so boring, you don’t know. And I love my parents and all, but they aren’t that much fun after a while. Did you bike here?” she asked me.

  “No, Suzanne drove me. She’s in the waiting room, said to say hi. I actually don’t have that much time, she said to make it quick. Homework and all.”

  I just wanted out of this hospital.

  Rachel frowned. “I wish that was my biggest problem—homework. For once, I’m really sad to be missing school. Hopefully I can return next week.

  “Enjoy it while you can, you’ll be back in class before you know it,” I said, trying to lighten things. “But I really should be going. So you’re checking out tomorrow?”

  Rachel nodded. “Yes, that’s the plan.”

  “How about we talk then?”

  “Okay. Don’t forget.”

  “I won’t,” I said. “Sybil, can I talk to you for a second? Outside?”

  Sybil scowled and looked annoyed. “Umm, I guess? Can it wait until school tomorrow?”

  I shook my head. “No, it’s about the trig test,” I lied.

  “Fine,” she mumbled, getting up. “Be right back, Rachel.”

  Rachel held out her arms for a hug, and I leaned in reluctantly. She smelled much better today, her sweet scent now masking the smell of the hospital.

  I probably smelled of evil. Of murder. If she only knew what I’d done not twelve hours before.

  “See ya, big guy,” she said with a wink.

  I tried to join her in laughing, but it felt fake, and I slipped out of the room.

  In the hall, Sybil stood with her hands on her hips. “What?”

  “Are you . . . mad? This whole thing, it’s awkward.”

  “Mad? About what? Everything is fine,” she said, doing her best to look me in the eye.

  “Just this weird triangle thing and all. I’ll tell Rachel once she’s feeling better, that things won’t work out between me and her. Even if you don’t want any part of me. I promise.”

  Sybil smiled, looking forced into something she didn’t often do. “Teavan, there is no triangle. There is me, and there is you and her. Trust me, it’s all good. See you tomorrow in class.” And with that, she went back into Rachel’s room and closed the door.

  As I walked into the waiting room, Suzanne looked up from her phone. “Ready to go?”

  “Yep.”

  Chapter 50

  The drive home was quiet at first.

  “Anything you want to talk about?” Suzanne asked.

  “Not really.”

  “Woman trouble?”

  “Kinda.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  I was quiet, not used to opening up about my feelings.

  “Come on, little brother. We have a lot more between us now than we ever have, and this is relatively small.”

  It didn’t feel small. “Well, just this whole Rachel-me-Sybil thing.”

  “I see. That is complicated. Do they both know? Feel the same?”

  “Yes and no,” I said, rubbing my face. “Like, first I was really attracted to Rachel, and we clicked, and it was awesome. She’s so awesome. And not just because she’s super pretty. She has a heart of gold and I really like her.” And I meant it.

  “But then with Sybil, she knows about my secret. And even though she’s so difficult, we kissed last night. Like a deep, serious kiss. There was this insane connection between us. Like we knew each other’s souls. She knows my darkest secret, and yet, she kissed me so deeply. We’ve been through so much, and when I woke last night, it was her with me, taking care of me in the middle of the night.”

  Suzanne looked over at me as she turned down the rural road where our house was. “I wondered what was happening. Besides the obvious chaos, there was something very odd between you two this morning. I noticed you kept trying to get her attention and she avoided it. So, you had a crush on the school sweetheart, but now you have serious feelings for the hard-to-get girl.”

  “No, it’s not like that.”

  “No?”

  “It’s not because Rachel is a sweetheart. And not because Sybil is hard to get. It just turned out that way.”

  “I mean, I like Rachel and all, she’s great from what I know. But now . . . given all this, she doesn’t seem right for you. And with Sybil, maybe it’s just because it was your first real kiss? ”

  I shook my head. “No, that’s not it. And it wasn’t my first real kiss, I’ll have you know. It’s more than that, but I hear what you’re saying. That’s pretty much what she said.”

  “So she doesn’t want to pursue it?”

  “No, she doesn’t. But I think it’s because of Rachel. It’s complicated.”

  “So it appears,” she added. “You know, I like Sybil. A lot. I mean, she’s rough around the edges, but these last few days with her . . . I don’t know. I like her. She’s real. But maybe there’s something to what she’s saying. I mean, the timing isn’t great. It’s not even good. You’ve got a lot of stuff to deal with after last night—I know I do. And with who we are, what we are . . . maybe it’s the exact wrong time to complicate things by pursuing a relationship with anyone.”

  I closed my eyes, thinking about last night. Mrs. Leclair. Bruno. The sheriff. My brain hadn’t even really acknowledged events yet.

  “You’re probably right.”

  “Hey, last night,” she asked. “Did we answer the front door together for that woman in the wheelchair? In a dream? Or was it just something I dreamed?”

  My pulse quickened at the memory. “That’s right! I forgot about that. Every time I’ve dreamt of her, you’re never th
ere.”

  “Neither are you,” she said, smirking. “Who is she? She’s scary for senior citizen in a wheelchair.”

  “Tell me about it. She’s Sabine Martin. There was a picture of her in Mrs. Leclair’s scrapbook.”

  “But . . . how?”

  I shrugged. “Beats me. How is any of this happening?”

  Suzanne leaned over and ruffled my hair with a smile. “Who knew just a few short weeks ago that you would become a werewolf, then I would, and then you would be juggling two girls that are not only cousins but best friends?”

  That ridiculous thought actually made me almost laugh. “Right? Man, things seemed so much simpler in New York. Speaking of, how are you feeling about this werewolf thing?”

  She pulled up to the house and parked, but left the car running. “Honestly, I’ve barely had time to process things today. No offence, but this really sucks. My whole life—everything—is not going to be as I planned. Marriage. Kids. New York. You name it.” She leaned forward with her eyes closed and put her head on the steering wheel.

  I rubbed her back. “It’s not that bad, Suze.”

  She looked over, her eyes welling up. “No, it is that bad. I can never be normal, Teavan. I might have to live near you forever, so we can look after each other.”

  “Gee, thanks.”

  “You know what I mean. I’m no longer free to do whatever I want with life. I’m bound by this freakin’ curse,” she said with a sniffle.

  “There are positives, you know. Remember what Mrs. Leclair said, some of the most successful people have the gene. You’ll be better at almost everything.”

  “I don't want to be strong. I just want to be normal.” With that, she turned the car off and got out, head down, and walked quietly up the steps.

  It was nearly six o’clock, and the thought of school in the morning just seemed impossible given the events of the weekend.

  Suzanne and I spoke very little during dinner, but my dad made up for it. He said the game wardens had been by earlier, and they warned him about wild animals in the vicinity and about keeping vigilant.

  As he spoke, I kept going over every event of the weekend in my mind. I longed to crawl into bed. I was exhausted, but at the same time dreaded Monday morning. The sooner I closed my eyes, the sooner the alarm would go off to wake up. Though getting back to some type of normal would be refreshing. Maybe I just needed to be sick tomorrow . . .

  Honey was under the table, and she suddenly jumped up and ran to the front door, barking. Moments later, the doorbell rang.

  Two tall, clean-cut men in dark suits stood at the door, with a black Suburban parked in our driveway. They introduced themselves as Officer Davis and Officer Miller of the California Department of Fish and Wildlife.

  “Someone was already here from the Game Department,” Dad said, a little surprised.

  Officer Davis stepped forward. “We are in a different division, a higher priority subdivision, if you will. We specialize in large predators that have caused harm to people, unlike our counterparts who also do fish, waters, plants, hunting, etcetera.”

  My dad nodded. “I see.”

  Davis motioned to the sofa in the living room. “May we come in?”

  Chapter 51

  We went over the events of the weekend, and got similar warnings from these two as Dad had from the officers earlier.

  “Santa Isadora has had more than its fair share of incidents over the years. This isn’t the first time we’ve been here. As a matter of fact, we had an unofficial alliance with your father until his untimely passing,” Miller said. “My condolences on your loss.”

  “Thank you,” my dad said. “But he wasn’t a warden. He didn’t even hunt, did he?”

  “No, not really. But he loved this area and he was passionate about wildlife. We can’t really have officers in every county, so we have volunteers here and there to assist and tip us off as necessary,” he said. “But the events here this weekend are obviously particularly disturbing and worrisome.”

  “I’ll say,” my dad said. “Three deaths! What can we do?”

  “Follow the curfew and be aware. Don’t leave food or garbage outside if you can help it. And please, report anything you see or hear,” Miller added, handing my dad a business card, but looking at me.

  “Rest assured, Mr. Laurent,” Davis said, breaking the awkwardness as he leaned forward, “we will be monitoring this area very closely now. And if necessary, we won’t hesitate to come back and institute a rigorous predator culling program. Once the animal gets a taste for human blood, it’s best to have them put down. It’s unfortunate, but it’s the reality for everyone’s safety.” Officer Davis turned to me. “How about you? Do you have anything to add? Or any specific concerns or questions?”

  I shook my head. His gaze gave me an eerie feeling. “No sir.”

  He leaned over, keeping his eyes trained on mine, and handed me a card as well. “Don’t hesitate to call, son. We want to ensure the safety of the citizens of this town. It is our first priority. Understand?”

  I nodded quickly.

  My dad stretched his arms over his head. “Well, you definitely have our support. This is scary, and I have these two kids and a dog to worry about. I’d rather you find this thing now and cull it.”

  “We’ll try, Mr. Laurent,” Davis said, standing up to leave. “But for now, please watch yourselves, follow the law, and be alert.”

  They both gave me an odd look as they put their shoes on.

  “You have yourselves a nice evening,” Davis said as he opened the door and they left.

  My bed had never felt so welcoming. So warm. So soft.

  Though I dreaded class the next morning, I also craved life to get back to normal. And I really needed sleep. Honey was curled up at the foot of my bed.

  It was only nine o’clock, but my eyes were so heavy I wasn’t even sure I would be able to read anything before falling asleep. I wondered if updating my reading lists to include Bram Stoker and Stephen King might be a good or bad idea, given the turn of events in my life.

  The game wardens’ visit threw me off. Were they giving me a message? Did they know? Were they the so-called lycan police Mrs. Leclair talked about, the Gencara? Or was I just being paranoid? Suzanne and I would have to be careful and cautious, but not about what was roaming outside.

  From what was inside.

  Tap.

  Something hit my window, and Honey and I both looked up.

  Tap.

  Honey barked and jumped off the bed.

  I cupped my face against the glass, looking around, then down. Sybil was standing below, staring up as I opened the window. “Hey,” I whispered. “I’ll go to the front door.”

  Honey ran ahead and waited expectantly. When I opened the door, she leapt outside. Sybil stood at the bottom of our steps with her arms crossed. It was dark, but the moon was still close to being full, providing enough light to see she had been crying.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked as I skipped down the steps, excited to see her. “Are you okay?”

  She squinted in the dark, and her lips were pursed. “Did you threaten my dad?”

  Nodding, I looked down, suddenly embarrassed. “Sorta.”

  “What did I say?” she asked, her voice angry.

  “To stay out of it—”

  “—and you go to my dad’s work and threaten him? Was that ‘staying out of it’? What is wrong with you?” Her voice was cracking now, on the verge of tears. “Did you think that would make things better? Or did it just make you feel better?”

  I hunched over, kicking some rocks lightly as I put my hands in my pockets. “I don’t know actually—”

  Whap!

  Her open palm slapped my cheek. I almost hoped she’d do it again if it made her feel better. Her lip was quivering, and her eyes were red. “What did you say to him?”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Whap!

  She slapped me again. Harder. Her face trembled. />
  Her arm shook as she held it up again, and I waited for the next blow. But then she lowered it, and her glassy eyes closed. She began to sob. She pulled her hands into the sleeves of her sweater and held them up to her face, struggling for control. But the tears wouldn’t stop.

  I stepped forward and pulled her into my arms, half expecting a knee to the groin, but was happily rewarded with silence and consent for once. She was shaking and she burrowed into my shirt and cried.

  We stood there for what seemed like forever.

  When she finally calmed, I convinced her to come inside.

  “I’m a complete mess,” she said with a sniffle.

  “Suzanne’s asleep, and my dad is in his study. Come on, it’s fine.”

  I led her through the house and into my room. She sat on the bed, wiping her eyes, stooped over.

  “Do you want some water or something?”

  She nodded quietly. “Do you have something to eat? I . . . I never ate dinner, and I’ve been out walking for hours. I ran out when my dad came home . . .”

  “Of course, gimme a sec.”

  I sped to the kitchen and made a little tray of cheese, crackers, and olives. I felt horrible about what I did, and what she probably had to face when her dad got home. What was I thinking? Was she right? Did I do it only to make me feel good?

  When I returned, Sybil was curled up on my bed, fast asleep. I put the food on the bedside table and pulled the covers up over her. She had never looked so quiet, peaceful, and unguarded before. I grabbed a spare pillow and some blankets from the hall closet and nestled down on the floor next to my bed with Honey. The moon was just visible in the sky from where I lay. It looked a little whiter, almost silver, tonight.

  Where all of this would lead us, I did not know. I was happy Sybil had come here when she had nowhere else. However, Suzanne’s advice about keeping things simple between us bounced around in my thoughts.

  As for being a lycan, I felt confident that Suzanne and I would have control. The wardens wouldn’t ever need to return to cull anything. At least going forward, we would face things together, my big sister and me. Well, she was smaller now, but still older at least. Maybe this turn of events would keep her from moving back to New York.