Sweetest Thing

by Natasha West

  Jodie paid no heed to the barb. ‘We met in the lift,’ she told Robyn. ‘She told me she’d be in the bar at midnight. Which is precisely where I found her.’ She looked at Alex. ‘I know I said I wouldn’t say anything, but you’re actually proposing, and I can’t keep it shut now. I just can’t.’ She looked back to Robyn. ‘She’s a dirtbag, Robyn. Get rid.’ She walked off back the way she’d came, presumably still with a very full bladder.

  Robyn watched her go for a moment and then turned to look at Alex, slumped back in her seat. ‘Wow, you were right about her. She’s fucking nuts, man,’ Alex said with an amused shrug.

  Robyn paused. ‘I never called her that. A bitch, maybe. Hard, perhaps. I never called her crazy.’

  Alex’s face went from amused to hurt. ‘Aw Robyn, come on. You don’t actually buy any of that, do you? I love you. I wouldn’t…’

  Robyn processed the last few seconds and found she couldn’t laugh this off. For all Alex’s flaws, she’d never even considered that she might be a ‘Dirtbag’. But the look on Alex’s face, underneath her pained expression…

  ‘You did, didn’t you?’ Robyn said wearily. ‘How far did you get? Did you actually have sex with her?’

  ‘No, of course not!’ Alex cried, and then she pantomimed a whoops expression. ‘Oh, you know what? After you went to sleep last night, I couldn’t drop off, and I did go down to the bar for a drink, now that I think about it. I guess I might have bumped into her. Yeah, you know what?’ Alex burbled on. ‘I think I did sit next to her at the bar. Maybe I made some conversation, I don’t know. But I certainly didn’t-’

  Robyn’s stomach plummeted. ‘Stop. Just stop.’

  Alex grabbed the ring box. ‘You think I’d buy this if I was shagging about?’ she asked with exasperation.

  Robyn looked at the box and said the thing she’d been trying not to say for weeks. ‘I really don’t know what you’d do. I don’t think I know you at all, Alex.’

  Alex groaned. ‘Robyn, for fuck’s sake. You’re gonna take the word of that bitch? Who you hate?’

  Robyn thought about it, and the answer that came back to her was a surprise. ‘I think so. Yeah.’

  Twelve

  Week Three - Bread

  Jodie stepped off the train with dread the following weekend. She’d had a week to wonder about the effects of her truth bomb on Robyn. She was wondering if she should have done it, told her. It really hadn’t been her business. She couldn’t think what had possessed her to get involved.

  Much as Jodie didn’t like to admit it, she admired Robyn’s skill and attention to detail. Whatever irked her personally, she was her rival. That should have meant that Jodie wanted her to fail. Which she truly did, but only on Bake It! If Robyn got herself entangled with a person like Alex in the legal sense, she was going to get all kinds of fucked up down the line. Jodie shouldn’t have cared about that. But she did. She supposed their antipathy was its own very strange kind of relationship.

  But if Robyn had disliked her before, she’d be seething with hatred now. Jodie didn’t much fancy standing five feet from that seething hatred trying to make bread all weekend. But that was what she’d be doing.

  God almighty, Jodie admonished herself. For someone that tried to avoid drama, she’d gone out of her way to create it lately.

  ***

  ‘And what are you making?’ Madeline asked as Jodie bashed her dough about, going hard at it, her arms aching. There was a bread hook on the mixer that would cut the kneading time in half and save her biceps, but Jodie had always made bread the hard way. She trusted her hands. ‘It’s a braided egg bread,’ she said to Madeline. She went back to kneading, glancing to where Robyn had her mixer running as she put together an apple and cinnamon brioche loaf.

  But Robyn didn’t look at Jodie. She’d been weirdly normal. Her normal was to ignore Jodie. Jodie was extremely cool with that, but it was an unsettling response to the wrecking ball Jodie had been forced to take to her private life.

  Jodie wondered what had gone on between her and Alex after the thing on the train. She’d assumed they’d broken up, but maybe that was silly. Maybe Robyn had dismissed Jodie’s tale. It hadn’t looked that way at the other end of the journey, when Jodie had watched from the far end of the platform for the train to clear out, trying not to run into Robyn and Alex. She’d caught a glimpse of them leaving the train, though. Robyn had been walking five feet in front of Alex. Her back had looked angry.

  But here she was, doing Robyn the way she always did Robyn. Kissing Madeline’s arse, cosying up to other contestants, acting like nothing was amiss.

  However, later, as Robyn was transferring her dough out of the proving draw, something went wrong, and she dropped it onto the floor, splat. Jodie heard the noise in time to see Robyn look down at her dough and scream, ‘FUUUUCK!’

  The entire studio froze, and Robyn looked around herself, crimson. ‘I… I’m sorry.’ No one said anything. Robyn sighed, picked up her dough, and chucked it straight into the bin. She got out some flour and yeast and started again. The nervous statues around her began to melt and return to their various breads.

  Jodie was the last to go back to work, watching Robyn through her peripheries. Wow. Jodie wouldn’t have dreamed Robyn had it in her to lose her shit in front of people like that. She was all about her modest image. Shouting that word in a crowded room was quite a move. She was just lucky that little outburst would likely not make it to broadcast. Screamed profanities weren’t part of the cosy Bake It! ambience.

  The funny thing about the outburst, though, was that Jodie had enjoyed it. It had seemed like she’d gotten a glimpse of the real, fucked-up human being underneath the uptightness.

  ***

  Robyn was quiet for the rest of the day. Even Dorothy couldn’t get anything out of her. Come judgement, she was told her bread was under-baked. ‘That makes sense. I had to start again due to my… accident and I ran out of time,’ she explained to Adam anxiously. But he hadn’t cut her any slack at all. Jodie’s bread had gotten a decent review right after, and she was tempted to feel bad for Robyn, but ultimately didn’t. Jodie couldn’t start crying over the failures of her opponents. It was the road to ruin.

  ***

  At the hotel, Jodie found herself in the elevator with Dorothy, Susan, and Robyn. Dorothy was burbling away as usual, while Robyn mutely listened. She didn’t look at Jodie.

  But when they got to floor seven, Jodie and Robyn walked out of the elevator at the same time, bumping shoulders.

  ‘Excuse me,’ Robyn snapped.

  ‘Scuse you indeed,’ Jodie replied as they struggled out of the steel box.

  They began to walk in separate directions down the corridor, and Jodie was relieved. Until they ended up only five rooms apart. They put their key cards into the locks in unison and went into their rooms. Jodie shut the door with a sigh. Another awkward weekend trying to avoid Robyn in close quarters. It was tiring just to think about.

  Then came a knock at the door.

  Thirteen

  Robyn got her door open on the seventh floor, and she had every intention of going in and closing the door on this awful day, on this awful week. A week that should have been spent preparing for her bake today had been spent on the business of breaking up. Alex had been pushed onto the couch until she could find a place, but Robyn gave her a deadline this time. By Friday, Alex was to have packed her bags and gotten the hell out.

  But Alex didn’t go quietly. She used her time to continually insist that Jodie was full of shit, that she was trying to knock her out of the show by distracting her. Robyn hadn’t really believed that.

  But when someone bangs on at you long enough, it can be enough to allow doubt to creep in. Fortunately, Robyn knew what to do about that. What she always did in a crisis. She researched. She went on Facebook and messaged any and all of Alex’s exes to find out what had been the cause of her breakups.

  One by one, the messages filled her inbox with the same thing, again
and again.

  ‘Cheating. When I found out, she proposed, and I was dumb enough to think it meant things were different. They weren’t.’

  ‘She’s a total cheat. I can’t believe I could have married her.’

  ‘She’s a player. Moved in and started cheating immediately.’

  ‘She seems all dippy and laidback at first, but she’s a lying, scumbag cheat.’

  On Alex’s last day, she went all out, buying flowers, giving it the old moon eyes, pleading. Everything shy of getting down on her knees. But then Robyn handed Alex her phone, showing her the inbox. Alex looked at the list of names contained therein, gave a giant sigh, and said, ‘Fuck this.’ She left two minutes later.

  So Robyn had messed up today as a result of exhaustion and mental stress, dropping her bloody dough because her mind wasn’t on what she was doing. It was almost certainly the reason she’d made that embarrassing scene too. She would probably mess up tomorrow as well, out at day’s end.

  That killed Robyn, it really did. She knew the ride had to end sometime. But not quite yet. In fact, Robyn had never needed this more. But, she felt strongly, she didn’t have what it took to stay in beyond this week. How could she? She was a mess.

  She knew that none of this was really Jodie’s fault. But part of her blamed her. Couldn’t help it. She hadn’t had to tell Robyn the truth. She could have just kept her beak out. Or, ideally, she could have told Robyn after she was eliminated in a fair manner. Anything but what she had done.

  So as Robyn stood in the doorway of her room, she found she couldn’t step across the threshold. She was compelled to do something she never did. She was going to have it out with Jodie.

  She closed her door, went five down, and knocked. It opened a moment later, and Jodie didn’t exactly look surprised - Jodie didn’t really do surprised - but she did look disconcerted. ‘Yes?’

  ‘Yes?’ Robyn repeated. ‘You really don’t know what I’m here for?’

  Jodie rolled her eyes and stepped back to let Robyn in. ‘Fine. But make it quick.’

  ‘This will take as long as it takes,’ Robyn said fiercely. She’d forgotten about this, how being around Jodie bought out this side of her. It was an unpleasant side of her, no doubt. But Robyn liked it, just a little bit.

  Jodie tried to head her off. ‘Look, I’m sorry your girlfriend is a-’

  ‘Shut up,’ Robyn told her.

  Jodie put her hands up in surrender and sat down on the edge of the bed, leaning back on her elbows. ‘Fine. Go off on me if you like.’

  Robyn didn’t like the casualness of Jodie’s body language. She wanted very badly to make her as angry as she was. Just for once, she wanted to see that perfect face crease into rage. ‘You crossed a line last week.’

  ‘I think you’ll find it was Alex that crossed a line,’ Jodie told her, scratching her knee.

  ‘I know. But that didn’t give you the right-’

  ‘I saved you from marrying a shit,’ Jodie said, her voice going up ever so slightly. ‘You’re angry at me for that?’

  ‘You couldn’t have waited until after Bake It! was done with? You had to do it in week two.’

  Jodie uncrossed her legs and sat up. ‘It didn’t feel like the kind of information I could sit on.’

  ‘Oh, I bet it didn’t,’ Robyn said mockingly. ‘You must have been absolutely thrilled when Alex tried it on. Perfect timing.’

  Jodie gave a surprised laugh. ‘You think I did this on purpose? To, what, get you out of my way? You think I’d bother with that kind of Machiavellian crap?’

  ‘Maybe,’ Robyn said with a vigorous head nod.

  One corner of Jodie’s mouth went up. ‘If I wanted to destroy you, Robyn, I’d just tell you your baking was bland.’

  Robyn clutched her chest. ‘How dare you!’

  ‘See,’ Jodie said. ‘Easy. No need for schemes and plans. Just good old-fashioned exploitation of low self-esteem.’

  Robyn’s nostrils flared. This was not going as hoped. ‘Who the hell do you think you are?’

  ‘I’m someone who wants a quiet life. Speaking of which…’ She stood up and gestured to the door.

  But rather than take a step toward the door, Robyn stepped toward Jodie. She didn’t know why. She was sure she wasn’t going to slap her. Pretty sure. ‘You know what? Your bakes are unimaginative.’

  Jodie sighed. ‘Is that so?’

  ‘Yeah. Everyone says so.’ Everyone was Dorothy and the now obsolete Darnell.

  ‘Well, you’re a kiss arse,’ Jodie told her flatly.

  ‘Whose arse?’ Robyn demanded.

  ‘Madeline’s. She’s never gonna shag you, you know.’

  Robyn was agape. ‘I’m not trying to shag anyone. What is it with you? Why do you think everyone’s trying to have sex with one another?’ Robyn asked her.

  ‘Because they usually are. Case in point, your fiancée.’

  ‘I wasn’t engaged to her,’ Robyn reminded her. Not a great come back, but it was something to say.

  ‘Thanks to me,’ Jodie said.

  ‘Oh, you arrogant arsehole! I wasn’t going to say yes,’ Robyn yelled without thinking.

  That broke Jodie’s stride. ‘What?

  Robyn blinked. It was the first time she’d had that thought. She’d been telling herself all week that she’d lost something when Alex’s duplicitous ways had come out. But now she knew without a doubt that she’d never really wanted Alex. She’d wanted out. Cheat or not, Robyn had never really loved Alex. She’d just liked the feeling of being loved. If she’d lost anything, it was only that. And it had never been real anyway.

  ‘So what are you so fucking upset about?’ Jodie demanded. Robyn thought she was starting to see the ice melt off Jodie after all. She was actually pissed. On the one hand, Robyn didn’t blame her. Robyn didn’t really have a leg to stand on anymore. But on the other, she had started down a road with this argument, and she found herself unable to turn around. ‘I’m pissed off because you did this maliciously.’

  ‘Don’t be so fucking paranoid. I was trying to do you a favour,’ Jodie said. ‘You know what else? I knew I was gonna catch shit for it too.’

  ‘What a hero,’ Robyn mocked. ‘Telling someone you hate something you thought would ruin their life. Is there a Nobel prize category for that?’

  ‘God, you really do have your head up your arse!’ Jodie yelled.

  Bingo. Robyn was in, beyond the chilly exterior. She didn’t understand why she was so thrilled about that. Why did she need this? ‘And you think you’re above everything,’ Robyn retorted. She realised she’d taken another step forward. So had Jodie. Were they about to have a physical fight?

  ‘I don’t think I’m above anything. I’m just trying to stay out of it all,’ Jodie spat.

  ‘Out of what?’ Robyn demanded.

  ‘Other people’s bullshit.’

  ‘What about your bullshit?!’

  ‘I don’t have any.’

  ‘Please.’

  Jodie got right up in Robyn’s face. ‘You don’t know anything about me.’

  ‘I know you, alright,’ Robyn said, stepping in to meet her, eyes blazing.

  ‘Oh yeah? Who am I?’ Jodie said between gritted teeth. They were almost nose to nose.

  Robyn sneered. ‘You’re scared.’

  ‘Scared? Of what? Of you?’

  ‘Scared of anyone finding out you care about anything.’

  Jodie’s eyes flared, and Robyn felt a flash of fear. Fear mixed with exhilaration. Something had to happen. Robyn urged that thing on, whatever it was.

  ‘Alright, let me tell you who you are, then, if we’re doing this,’ Jodie snapped. ‘You’re a prissy little madam who’s scared to death to admit what she actually wants-’

  Robyn screamed a little laugh, and then she closed that small gap between herself and Jodie. But not to hurt her, as such. She grabbed her face and kissed her lips, hard.

  A second passed. Two, three. And then Jodie pushed her off. ‘What
the fuck are you doing?’ she asked. But not angry. Not shocked. Excited.

  ‘I don’t know,’ Robyn admitted. What the hell was this?

  ‘You better fucking know,’ Jodie said and pulled Robyn to her, initiating a second kiss. It went on for a few seconds, the pair of them angrily kissing one another until they both had to stop, breathless, practically panting.