by Sybil Bartel
Rage, at myself, at the situation, at the entire fucking mess I’d made, coursed through my veins, and I lashed out at Luna. “Get your fucking hand off me.”
With his shrewd gaze, Luna scrutinized me, but he dropped his hand. “You slept with her.”
I dirtied my goddamn mess even more. “All fucking night.”
“Jesucristo.” Luna rubbed a hand over his face. “I need to stop being surprised by this shit.”
Itching for a fight like I hadn’t itched since I’d been medically discharged from the Marines, I threw my weight around. “You got something to say to me?”
“Yeah,” he threw right back, raising his voice so I knew he meant business. “Don’t fuck the clients.”
“She’s not a client.”
“Yes, she is,” Luna ground out. “As of two minutes ago, she became top priority.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I asked, but dread had already filled my gut.
Luna confirmed my fear. “At six fifty-four a.m., Summer Amherst checked herself out of rehab and used her cell. I’ll give you one fucking guess who she texted.”
Goddamn it. “One of Estevez’s foot soldiers.”
Luna nodded once. “The one she gets her drugs from. She said she had something to trade and to meet her at Fallon’s.”
HANDS SHAKING, LEGS TREMBLING, WORLD crumbling—start the car, start the car, startthecar.
I jammed the key in.
No.
Breath short.
No.
He worked for André Luna.
He worked for André Luna.
NO.
Do not look back, do not look back, do not look back at him.
Don’t lose it, not here. Not here.
A sob escaped.
The engine turned over.
He was one of them.
I threw it into drive.
Oh God, he worked for Leo.
He worked for Leo.
Tears streaming, sobs choking me, I stepped on the gas and aimed for the one place no one would find me.
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.
I pushed past Luna.
“Where you going?” he demanded.
“After her.”
“No, you’re not. Stand the fuck down.”
Ignoring him, I yanked the lobby door open and made it one step inside.
Luna threw me against the plate glass window. His arm across my chest, he pinned my shoulder. “I said,” he enunciated, his tone lethal. “Stand. Down.”
My nostrils flared, but I kept my voice as lethal as his. “Take your gun out and put a fucking bullet in my head, because that’s the only way you’re gonna stop me from going after her.”
“Your fucking hearing okay?” he clipped, increasing the pressure on my chest.
I fumed. “Go ahead. Hold that shit against me like every other damn person.” Fuck him. “I’m immune to that shit now.”
Luna looked at me like I was out of my mind. “I’m not talking about your fucking disease, amigo. I’m talking about your goddamn ego, because you and I were both standing there when she said she didn’t want a damn thing to do with you. Face the truth. Whatever the hell you had with her? It’s over. Get your fucking shit together or walk out of my lobby and don’t come back.”
Five years ago, I would’ve walked the fuck out.
Five years ago, it was me against the world.
Five years ago, I was stupid enough to think that was enough.
But then I’d never needed a hacksaw and a pig farmer to make a body disappear. Or a boat and a deep ocean current to dump a corpse. Hell, five years ago, I didn’t know there were more ways to make someone disappear than there were days of the week.
Now I knew.
I also knew none of it was possible if you didn’t have resources.
Luna was a resource.
“I’m going after her,” I stated.
Luna dropped his arm and cursed in Spanish. “Jesucristo.” He pulled his cell out and dialed. “Bring up the security feeds and traffic cameras in a five-mile radius. Find out which direction Fallon Amherst went, then put someone on her residence, her office and Summer Amherst’s place. We need to find both of them. And pull up the security feeds for Club Frenzy. Keep an eye out for those rogue runners from Estevez’s crew. Text me as soon as you find anything.” He hung up.
My jaw locked, I forced myself to stand and wait before going to my truck. “Every second counts.” He’d taught me that.
“I know. Just fucking wait,” Luna answered absently as he scrolled through his contacts, then put his cell to his ear. “It’s Luna. We have a situation. Your daughter left rehab early this morning, called one of Estevez’s men to make a deal, setting the meet at your ex-wife’s place. I’m putting security at both of their residences. If I find either one, I’m bringing them in until we contain the Estevez situation. If they contact you, call me immediately… I realize that, but unless you get a court order mandating her to a twenty-eight-day treatment facility, then my hands are tied.” Luna shook his head in irritation. “Understood.” He hung up, and his cell buzzed with a text.
Impatient, I waited.
“All right.” Luna shoved his cell in his pocket and leveled me with a look. “I’m gonna let you go after Fallon on one condition.”
I didn’t say shit. I was going after her regardless.
“You bring her in when you find her. No bullshit, no rehashing whatever the fuck that was just now.” He pointed out front. “And no going off half-cocked. You keep it fucking civil and you keep your dick in your pants, understood?”
I nodded once.
“Cristo. Don’t make me regret this.” He rubbed a hand over his face, then glanced at his watch. “She went north. Tyler has her tracked. Take one of the Escalades.”
“Copy that.” I went for the stairwell.
“Knight,” Luna clipped.
Impatient as fuck, I turned.
His hands on his hips, his eyebrows drawn together, Luna shook his head. “For real, Fallon Amherst?” he asked in disbelief.
I couldn’t believe it either. Last night was a fucking lifetime ago.
Without replying, I pushed the door open and rushed to the garage.
I DIDN’T GO HOME.
I didn’t go to my office.
I didn’t go to Summer’s.
I turned my phone off and I drove.
And I fell apart.
His note still in my purse, I felt so betrayed I couldn’t breathe, but I also didn’t throw it out because I was a fool. It smelled like him. It sounded like him. It had his number.
No one had ever written me a note like that.
I shook my head and swiped at a stray tear.
I was done crying.
And I was done with Leo and Summer.
I’d stupidly called Leo this morning, demanding to know where Summer was, only to catch him with his pants down, literally, because I could hear the woman moaning and slurping in the background, sucking him off. Disgusted, I’d stayed on the line only because I knew when Leo Amherst was at his weakest, and that was right after he came.
So I’d waited.
Then I’d asked.
Leo told me Summer had been shot Saturday night. He’d said she was okay physically, but that she was wrapped up deep with a bad crowd. But I knew it wasn’t a bad crowd, it was one man, the despicable person André Luna had described as he’d thrown pertinent details at me in the lobby.
Leo told me to stay out of it, that André Luna was handling it and Summer was in rehab.
It was a lie.
After I’d hung up, Summer had texted me, telling me to hold on to what she’d left at my house because she was going to come for it soon. I’d fired off a response and demanded to know where she was. She’d said she couldn’t tell me. I’d told her she needed to stay in rehab. She’d simply replied I’d hear from her soon.
It was the last straw.
Turning my phone off so I didn’t have to
deal with any more lies from her, I’d rushed home and grabbed the laptop she’d hidden. Then I’d driven straight to Luna and Associates. Still floating in the afterglow of last night’s unexpected turn of events and swimming in tentative confidence, I hadn’t washed off Thomas’s scent.
I didn’t even change.
I’d walked into Luna and Associates intending to either find Summer and tell her I was done putting up with her until she stayed in rehab or hand over the laptop and simply wash my hands of the whole thing.
But everything had fallen apart the second I saw him.
Thomas Knight.
The man who’d given me the best night of my life.
Standing there, in a Luna and Associates uniform, betraying my every breath.
I barely remembered what I’d said to André Luna. I was furious and hurt and felt so deceived by everyone in my life, I wanted to find Summer and hurl the laptop at her.
But now I was almost to West Palm Beach, and I needed to pull myself together.
Stopping at a Target, I ran in and grabbed stuffed animals, toy cars, books and some dolls. Twenty minutes later, I was pulling into the one place where I felt like I made a difference in this world.
The South Florida Children’s Hospital.
Gathering my bags, I locked my car and headed in.
Stopping at the reception desk, I smiled at the elderly woman who’d been working there since the first time I came in eleven years ago. “Good morning, Rosalie.”
Her crinkled face lit up. “Ms. Amherst! So nice to see you!” With a wide smile, she reached out and patted my hand. “How are you?” She was one of the few people who now called me Ms. instead of Mrs. Amherst, and I appreciated her even more for it.
“I’m well, thank you,” I lied.
“Good, good.” Still smiling as her arthritic hands moved across her keyboard, she made me a temporary badge. “Bringing gifts again?”
“Of course.” My charity helped financially support this hospital, but I liked to bring gifts to the children.
Rosalie handed me my badge. “Go on in. Kenny is still here.” She winked at me.
“Thank you.” I put the sticker badge on, and she buzzed me through to the main corridor for the elevators.
My heart was hurting from everything that happened in the last twenty-four hours, but the thought of seeing the smiling little blond-haired boy upstairs who reminded me of another blond-haired boy I’d met here on my first visit all those years ago made me smile.
The first time I came to the Children’s Hospital, I was fraught with unease because I didn’t know what to expect. Leo had wanted me involved in a charity, and he’d pushed helping sick children on me, said it would be good for our family image. I’d been terrified. I didn’t want to come and see sick or dying children. I didn’t think I would be able to handle it.
But that first visit, the very first room I’d walked into, there was a blond-haired child about twelve years old, but much smaller than his age, and when he saw me, his face lit up with the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen.
Unprepared for him, or for the experience, all I’d had with me was a stuffed dolphin I’d hastily grabbed from the gift shop on my way up to the critical care ward. I didn’t know if I would be seeing one child or fifty or if they would be boys or girls, or if they would even be responsive. My anxiety had been unmanageable.
But then I’d walked into that first room and I’d been gifted the smile of a lifetime.
The stuffed dolphin wasn’t enough. Nothing would have been enough for that child, but I gave him the toy anyway. In my nervousness, I forgot to ask him his name, but it almost didn’t matter.
From that day on, in my mind, he became Dolphin Boy.
I never saw him again, but his unabashed, pure-of-heart smile was the reason I’d been coming back ever since. I was older and wiser now, and I always brought more toys with me, but every week that I came here, I felt his smile. I’d fallen in love with the blond-haired Dolphin Boy and his smile. He gave me such an incredible gift that day, and I remembered him each and every time I walked through the hospital doors since. Because of him, I knew I was in the right place.
Over the years, I’d prayed that he’d wound up being okay and that he was living a full life. It was what I wished for all the children who came through here.
But that sweet boy’s smile, it’d stuck with me.
Taking the elevator to the fourth floor, I walked down the hall to see Kenny.
Of all the patients I’d seen over the years, Kenny reminded me most of that boy all those years ago. His smile was unbreakable and contagious. He had big life plans, and he was more excited to see me each week than any toy I brought.
Putting a smile on my face, I set my bags outside his room and grabbed a hundred-dollar bill from my purse and one of the toy cars, then I walked into his room.
Lying on his side with a picture book, his mother sitting in the chair next to his bed, he looked up and smiled wide.
The ache in my heart eased. “Good morning.”
“Miss Fallon, Miss Fallon!” He sat up and held his arms out.
I glanced at his mother. I didn’t touch any of the children unless a parent gave me permission.
His mother, Koraline, nodded and smiled at me with tired eyes.
Careful of his IV, I hugged Kenny. “Hello, Kenny. How are you today?”
His little arms hugged me tight. “I’m good! Mama says we may go home soon.” He looked at his mother. “Right, Mama?”
She smiled in earnest. “Yes, sweetie.”
I glanced at her and raised an eyebrow.
She gave me a slight nod, but it was a good nod. Over the years, I’d learned how to read parents’ facial expressions, and hers was one of relief.
“I’m so happy to hear that.” I pulled up the extra chair, but before I sat, I slipped the bill in my hand to Koraline. “I brought you a toy.” I held the car out to Kenny.
“Oh, thank you!” Kenny took the toy and lay back down.
I glanced at Koraline. “I can stay awhile if you’d like to run home or grab something to eat?”
She looked nervously at Kenny.
Kenny nodded. “It’s okay, Mama. Miss Fallon can stay with me and read my book to me.”
“Are you sure?” She brushed his hair off his face.
“Yep,” he replied cheerfully. “Ms. Fallon reads good.”
Koraline and I both laughed.
“Okay then.” She looked at me. “I would love to run home and grab some clothes.”
“Of course. Take your time.” I knew she was a single mom, and my charity had been helping pay her bills while she was out of work, staying here with her only child. Living in a hospital with a sick child wasn’t easy. She could use the short reprieve. “I’ll stay right here.”
Koraline stood, but then she hesitated.
“We’re fine, I promise.” I smiled. “I’ll have the nurse call you if we need anything.”
In an unprecedented gesture, she leaned over and hugged me. Then she whispered, “Thank you so very much, for everything.”
I couldn’t help it, my eyes filled, and I hugged her back tight. “You are most welcome.”
Straightening, looking a little embarrassed, she blew Kenny a kiss and hurried out of the room.
I looked at Kenny and smiled. “You have a very nice mother.”
He nodded with the seriousness of a child. “The bestest.” He picked up his book. “Except when she doesn’t let me have ice cream.” He held the book out to me, and his face lit up. “Oh! I have an idea.”
I fought a smile. “What is it?”
“Let’s ask Nurse Becky when she comes back to bring us ice cream!” Nodding enthusiastically, he smiled. “You can ask her. She’ll do it.”
I tried not to laugh. “Are you supposed to have ice cream?” It wasn’t even lunchtime yet.
“Oh yes.” He held his arm up and flexed like a body builder. “Ice cream is good for you.”
I laughed.
Then he joined in.
And all of a sudden, we were both giggling uncontrollably.
That’s how the nurse found us when she came in for rounds a couple minutes later, and Kenny, God bless him, convinced her to bring us strawberry ice cream.
An hour later, his mother was back and Kenny was tired. I politely excused myself and spent the new few hours making the rounds. When all the toys were gone and my wounded heart was full of a different kind of ache, I went back to my car.
But the second I got behind the wheel, I wasn’t inhaling hospital and antiseptic. I was inhaling the ghost of his scent.
Emotions I’d stored away all day came roaring back, and tears welled.
But this time, it was tears of anger.
Screw Thomas Knight.
I was done with him. Just like I was done with Summer and Leo. I should’ve had more compassion for my stepdaughter. It wasn’t her fault how she was raised. But if she wanted to be treated like an adult, then she needed to start acting like one.
Starting with returning the laptop I was sure she’d stolen. Except I knew she wasn’t going to do it herself, so I would. I’d find this Julio Estevez person, give him a piece of my mind, then give him his damn laptop. If Leo and André couldn’t handle Summer and this mess, then I would, as soon as I found Julio Estevez.
Turning the engine over, turning my phone on, I dialed Leo.
He answered on the first ring. “Fallon. Where the hell are you?”
“Where’s Julio Estevez?” I demanded.
Leo’s voice turned lethally quiet. “How do you know him?”
“Where is he?” My phone beeped, signaling incoming texts, but I ignored them.
Leo was quiet two whole heartbeats. Then, “Where did you hear that name?” he asked casually.
Leo was never quiet, and he was never casual. “André Luna.”
Leo’s laugh was practiced and fake. “Well, Luna knows all sorts of shady characters. Don’t let him convince you some club rat is worth the time it takes to utter his name. Club Frenzy is a shit place, Fallon. You don’t belong there. You’re better than that.”