by Cathy Sharp
Alone in her room late that night, Jinny couldn’t hold back the salty tears. They dripped down her cheeks and her nose, into her mouth. Her mother was dead. Jinny had been there as she breathed her last, but although she’d held her hands and for a moment her eyelids fluttered, Jinny couldn’t be sure she knew – and perhaps it didn’t matter. They hadn’t been close for years and Jinny had been hurt so many times; she hadn’t thought she could cry for her mother any more and yet the tears wouldn’t stop.
She sat on the edge of the bed until the storm of grief was over and she felt numbed. Nothing had really changed, because she’d lost her mother long ago when she turned to drink and picking up men out of her loneliness or desperation.
Getting up to wash her cheeks, Jinny realised that she couldn’t go back and change the past, but she could look to the future. Nellie was teaching her different things to cook, plain simple tasty food, but Nancy had mentioned a course at night school where she could learn to make fancier food.
‘I think the classes are quite cheap,’ she’d said. ‘You could go one night a week, Jinny, and then you’d have the qualifications to be a cook in your own right – you could probably work in a good hotel or do private catering one day in the future.’
‘I’d like to be better than I am and able to make lots of wonderful food, but I don’t want to leave here yet …’
‘We should be sorry to lose you,’ Nancy had told her warmly. ‘I know Sister is very pleased with you, Jinny. Your place here is safe for the time being but things change and move on – and one day you might want to work somewhere else …’
Jinny knew she was right. She was very young yet, far too young to think of proper courtship or marriage. Micky was her friend, a special friend who had helped her a lot, but she had other friends. While Micky was away, she’d had a coffee with Dave in the café near the market and he’d asked her to the flicks one night. Jinny had thanked him and told him she would let him know when she was free, but if she went to night school on her free evening, she wouldn’t have time for dating, and perhaps that was a good thing. She’d lost her home and her mother and it wasn’t the right time to get involved in relationships. The way Dave looked at her, Jinny thought he would have a ring on her finger the second she was sixteen, and she’d be a mother before she could blink, because Dave came from a big family and he’d told her he was looking to have one himself.
One part of Jinny longed to be a member of a large family, loved and safe and never alone, but the other half of her wanted to learn all she could about being a cook. She’d seen wonderful creations in the second-hand cookery books she’d started to browse on the market. One had been filled with pictures of wonderful wedding cakes, and the steps to achieve pure smooth white icing and then to decorate it were set out step by step.
Jinny sat up in bed with the light on beside her and started to read the book she’d recently purchased; the pages were a bit creased and spotted, but the instructions were clear and good.
She would create a lovely cake for Nancy, because she was kind and generous and she’d made Jinny feel that she belonged here at St Saviour’s. Jinny was a Halfpenny Street girl and instead of crying foolish tears for a mother she’d lost long ago, she was going to learn how to make the best wedding cake ever for her friend.
CHAPTER 27
‘This is great, ain’t it?’ Tom looked at Andy who was riding one of the donkeys on the sands at Hunstanton. He took a great lick of his ice cream and glanced at Jean who was playing happily with Beth, building sandcastles further up the beach and decorating it with the big white pebbles that were everywhere on the beach. ‘I ain’t never ’ad so much fun …’
It was September now and their holiday was in its last few days, but they would never forget it. A light wind was blowing off the sea and the waves were crested with white horses as they raced towards the shore. Summer was almost over, and it was time for school again, but they’d been given a few days’ grace before they returned.
Andy got off the donkey, gave it a pat and grinned at the man who’d given him the ride for nothing. ‘Thanks mate,’ he said. He’d rather have gone on the dodgems at the fairground but the owner there wasn’t a soft touch like the man who looked after the donkeys. He’d given all the St Saviour’s kids a ride if they wanted it and none of them had used a penny of their pocket money. Andy thought the donkey rides couldn’t be making much of a profit if the man kept giving free rides, but just then some kids came with their father and he bought them all a turn. Andy walked along the beach until he reached the girls and Tom who had joined them.
Five other kids were staying at the Halfpenny House cottage. Angela Adderbury had brought them all; her husband had come down with them, but he’d gone back to London, because he had important appointments. So they were here with Angela and two other carers from Halfpenny House. One of them was the art teacher, Miss Jill Savage, and the other was a carer named Hester Miles.
Miss Savage was a lot of fun to be at the sea with, Andy thought. She took them searching for starfish, crabs and other tiny sea creatures to be discovered in little rock pools on the beach at Old Hunstanton. When they found something of interest, they put it in a pail of water so that they could study it and make drawings on the sketchpads she gave them.
‘We always let our living creatures return to their pools, children,’ Miss Savage told them. ‘You can keep any unusual stones you find, of course, but treat living creatures with respect please.’
Andy knew that his drawing was crude, as was Jean’s. Beth and Tom had a feel for it, though, and theirs were really good. He was happy to see his sister bonding with Jean and Tom. Jean had been following Tom like a little shadow, clearly delighted to have him back. Beth was happier than Andy had ever seen her. She loved it here at the seaside; her laughter rang out time and time again as they raced along the shore and splashed each other at the water’s edge. As a treat, Angela took all the children to the funfair. The boys went on all the maddest rides, but Jean and Beth stuck to the horses that went up and down and preferred to throw hoops over prizes. Jean shone at that and managed to win small fairings for both her and Beth.
The wind was whipping the sea into waves crested with yellowish-white foam and the sky was grey. They’d had good weather up to now, but it looked as if it might break soon, and it was getting a bit cool. None of the kids minded, keeping warm by racing up and down, but Miss Savage looked a bit cold.
Watching Beth eat candyfloss and ice creams as they sat or played on the beach, Andy knew his sister was content, away from the threat of her step-father and no longer afraid. When she told Andy that she wished she could stay there forever, he knew he had to think through things very carefully.
Sister Beatrice would be pleased if they chose to stay here, because St Saviour’s was only supposed to be temporary and they were expected to move on after a few weeks, and his special friends were here; Keith had sent a postcard and told him he’d be leaving St Saviour’s soon after Christmas, to travel with his father. Andy wanted to stay in London, because Mr Barton had promised to find him a Saturday job in a garage and he was learning to drive – but perhaps he should stay here for Beth’s sake.
‘Would you like to stay at Halfpenny House instead of goin’ back ter London?’ he asked her when they were sitting quietly reading after supper. ‘You wouldn’t come here to the sea often, no more than we could if we’re in London – but they’re nice people and the Beast wouldn’t find us here.’
‘Would you stay with me?’ Beth looked eagerly at him. ‘I’d love to be here with Jean and Tom; they’re special friends, Andy – the best we’ve ever had – but I don’t want to stay if you’re goin’ back ter London.’
‘If it’s what you want, Beth, I’ll stay too,’ Andy said and received a hug for his pains. ‘I’ll tell Miss Angela tomorrow …’
Andy swallowed his disappointment as Beth hugged him and told him he was the best brother ever. When he was old enough he could apply for a job tr
aining to be a mechanic and one day he might learn to drive properly and become a racing driver. Beth needed him with her and he’d liked what he’d seen of Halfpenny House. It was more modern and bright and there were lots of things for the kids to do after school. In Halfpenny Street the most they could do unless they were taken on a trip was kick a football in the road or chalk a hopscotch board on the pavement. In the Essex home there were playing fields and a lot of countryside to explore, as well a gym so they could play pirates on the equipment, as they had the night before they came down to the sea – and there was a small TV set in the hall so they could all watch it.
It would be a new life for them both and Andy would never have to worry about his step-father again …
‘We brought the children back to Halfpenny House last night,’ Angela said to Sister Beatrice on the telephone at the end of the holiday. ‘Andy, Tom and Beth all want to stay here with us so there will be no need for anyone to fetch them back. I’ve inquired about school places and we should have them fixed in by next week …’
‘Ah, I’m so pleased,’ Sister Beatrice replied. ‘Though I’m a little surprised. I thought Andy had his future mapped out in London. He has plans to become a mechanic and work for a racing car team – and ultimately to drive one … Please tell him that Stirling Moss won at Monza. I think he would like to know that …’
‘How clever of you to know, and original of Andy to have such ambition,’ Angela said. ‘I’m glad you told me. He seemed quite sure of his decision and I imagine that it is for his sister’s sake. So I shall speak to Mark. He knows so many people and we may be able to sort out a little Saturday job in a garage for Andy – and perhaps an apprenticeship once he leaves school. Naturally, I can’t guarantee his Saturday job is with racing cars, but I shall do the best I can for him.’
‘You always do,’ Sister Beatrice said. ‘You will let me know as soon as you’re definite about the closure?’
‘Yes, of course. I’ve been busy trying to find extra space for the children that will need to be admitted here when St Saviour’s closes. The Board have plans for a new wing, but that can’t be put into action for some months – so it will be a matter of squeezing as many beds as we can into the rooms we have.’
‘Well, that is what we’ve always done at St Saviour’s. Some of our older children are leaving after Christmas. They have jobs already and are ready to move into hostels. However, I shall continue to take in children in need until the last …’
‘Of course, you must …’
‘So Tom is quite happy to stay on with you? I’ve been a little anxious about him, I must admit.’
‘You should have watched him building the biggest sandcastle you’ve ever seen – and charming the donkey man into giving them all free rides. I think there is no doubt that he will achieve what he wants, Sister, whatever that may be. All we have to do is give him a little help …’
‘He’ll be all right with you,’ Sister Beatrice said and Angela could hear the smile in her voice. ‘Well, that is a relief concerning Beth and Andy, because the police still have not caught their step-father. I spoke to Sergeant Sallis again this morning and he was angry that the man had eluded them yet again. However, he can have no idea where the children are so they should be quite safe with you and the sergeant assures me they will get him in the end.’
‘Yes, I am certain of that,’ Angela replied. ‘Now, what about you, Sister? Mark wondered if you were quite well last time he saw you …’
‘I think I have a touch of arthritis, or so the doctor tells me. He has given me a liniment to use and says an Aspro may help – but I shall not take them unless it becomes necessary.’
‘It sounds unpleasant for you,’ Angela said, ‘let’s hope the liniment helps.’
‘It is nothing I cannot manage.’
‘No, I’m sure. Well, it was lovely to talk to you. I shall keep in touch and let you know how the newcomers are settling in …’
Angela replaced the phone after farewells were exchanged. She was sure that Sister Beatrice was suffering more than she had let on and felt pleased that she would most likely be working with her again soon and able to keep a friendly eye on her. In the meantime, she was making preparations to take over once Mrs Mellors left Halfpenny House.
Angela and Mark had discussed the twins’ education and talked to them, earlier that year, about the boarding school they’d chosen.
‘Hildersham Manor caters for children with special talents,’ Mark told his sons after extensive research. ‘You’re good at all sports, Simon; they have a wonderful cricket team, and the boys can choose between football and rugby – and there’s an Olympic-sized pool in the town nearby. You would have your choice and may find that you want to make some form of sport your career …’ His gaze moved to Edward, the quieter, more thoughtful of his sons. ‘They also have an excellent music teacher, Eddie, and I’ve spoken to the Latin master. He takes Greek with boys who wish to learn and I know you hope to study antiquities at university and perhaps carry it on to later life.’ He smiled at them both. ‘The choice is yours, lads. You can go to the local grammar school for a perfectly good education when you’re old enough but you’re eight next birthday so that is some years yet and I think a public school education would suit you better …’
‘Boarding school please, Dad.’ The twins spoke together, of one mind as they always were. ‘As long as we stay together,’ Simon continued. ‘Eddie got bullied at our last one, but I soon sorted them out …’
Mark smiled, because both he and Angela often puzzled over how alike the boys were in some ways and how different in others. Simon was taller and broader than his twin and much more active, joining every sport going and haring round on his bike when there was nothing more interesting to do – while Eddie preferred to sit in a shady spot on the lawn in summer or by the fire in winter and read.
Angela knew that once the twins were settled at boarding school she would find her days long and so she’d agreed to take on the post of Superintendent until such time as Sister Beatrice could join her, but she had made it clear that she needed an assistant she could trust to take over in an emergency. Her family must come first and if the twins had not wanted to go away to school, she would have waited to return to work until they were old enough not to need her.
Sighing, Angela turned away from the phone and went upstairs to start packing their trunks. Mark always sent their luggage on ahead so that they could travel light with just overnight bags. Hearing the sound of happy laughter coming from the twins’ room, she smiled. At least her two were fine and looking forward to their new school …
CHAPTER 28
Ruby read the newspaper report with a sense of excitement. It concerned the Wolfenden Report, which was going before Parliament and recommended that homosexual practices performed in private between consenting adults should no longer be a criminal offence.
If the suggestion was taken up and passed by Parliament it would make so much difference. Someone like Ruby would be free to offer love where she chose without fear of shame or loss of position; even though being a lesbian wasn’t a criminal offence, this would change people’s views entirely. She took a pen from her bag and drew a circle round the small paragraph. It was such a tiny piece of information and yet it could make so much difference to her and to others like her – to Carla perhaps.
The thought of Carla kept running through her mind as she walked home. Did she dare to take the newspaper upstairs and show it to Carla? Perhaps they could have coffee together – and talk about things …
Ruby had wanted to visit the friendly girl’s flat before this, but she was afraid that she might be tempted to go too far and that Carla would be disgusted. If she showed her the report it would be a natural thing to discuss what it meant and how Carla felt about it.
Ruby’s tummy was tumbling with nerves as she got into the lift and went up to the top floor. She paused outside the door, her finger poised over the bell, and then her courage deserted
her. Supposing she’d misread that look in Carla’s face – supposing she saw disgust and derision in the other girl’s eyes? No, she couldn’t just arrive on Carla’s doorstep out of the blue and expect the invitation to coffee still stood; she would wait until they met again and then ask Carla to come to her place.
Taking the newspaper from her shoulder bag, she tucked it under the door. It wouldn’t go all the way, but Carla would discover it when she opened her door. If she felt as Ruby did, she would understand and perhaps she’d come down and ask her up for coffee again …
She turned and ran back to the lift, afraid now of being caught. Why did she have to be different? Why did she have feelings for another woman rather than the desire to be a wife and mother, as society thought right? What was wrong with wanting a career – and a love affair with someone of the same sex?
Wishing she’d had more courage, Ruby pressed the button that took her down a floor to her own apartment. Why had God made her this way if it was a sin? The question had haunted her for so long and she was no nearer to discovering a satisfactory answer …
Rose picked up the telephone in the nurses’ home and smiled as she heard Nick’s voice. She knew he’d been working in South London on a new housing estate and was extremely busy. He’d told her after his last party that he wouldn’t be around to take her out for a week or two. It was mid-September now and Rose was getting ready to leave for a holiday in Yarmouth with Mary Ellen and her husband Billy Baggins. Rose’s sister had just received her final exam results and they’d decided on a caravan holiday to celebrate her passing with flying colours. Billy had invited Rose to go with them, telling her that they wanted to say thank you for everything she’d done for her sister, which had made Rose shed a few tears.