by Cathy Sharp
‘Nick, you just caught me,’ she said, looking at her battered suitcase on the bed. ‘I’m about to leave for a week’s holiday in Yarmouth with my sister and her husband Billy … It’s the first time they’ve ever been away to the sea for a proper holiday. It’s a bit late in the summer, but if we’re lucky it could be nice – and it was cheaper than in August …’
‘Sounds nice,’ he said wistfully. ‘I wish I could come with you.’
‘Why don’t you come down on Sunday for the day? We could take a picnic on the beach – or go out for a nice lunch …’
‘All right, I will,’ he said, surprising her. ‘I’ll drive down on Saturday afternoon, stay at a bed and breakfast for one night and meet you in the morning – where and when?’
‘Ten o’clock by the Britannia Pier,’ Rose said and smiled. ‘I shall enjoy that, Nick. I’m glad you rang me. Another few minutes and I’d have left …’
‘So am I,’ he said and something in his voice made her tingle. ‘I’ve missed you, Rose …’
She held the phone for a moment longer as he replaced the receiver his end and stared at it for several seconds Rose had never been sure where she stood with Nick. Sometimes she thought he really cared about her, at other times she thought he was just lonely and still grieving for his wife. Because she didn’t know how to place him in her world, she’d tried to block thoughts of more than friendship from her mind.
It was different with Stephen Henderson. Rose had felt comfortable in his company from the start, and she knew he liked her a lot. They’d kissed a few times, warm sweet kisses that she enjoyed but didn’t set her heart racing. Of the two men she thought she probably liked Nick the most – but there was something he was holding back from her and because of it Rose wouldn’t let herself like him too much.
Picking up her suitcase, Rose ran across the garden and out into Halfpenny Street. She needed to catch a bus to take her on her way to the mainline station, where she was meeting Mary Ellen and Billy. For the next few days she was on holiday and determined to forget everything that bothered her and have fun.
‘Is it today that you meet your friend Nick?’ Mary Ellen asked when they walked over to the shower block at the end of their row. They were both yawning after a late night out at a show and then a long walk on the beach after they left the pier. Billy had bought them shandies at one of the pubs on the long promenade.
‘Yes, I’m meeting him later and we’ll have the day together – so you and Billy can have some time on your own …’
‘We’re all right,’ Mary Ellen said and laughed. ‘Billy is as chuffed as can be because he could afford to give us both this holiday, Rose. He’s worked like a Trojan to keep me through college but now I should be able to get a proper job and he has a little money to spare – and he was the one that suggested you should come with us as a treat …’
‘I don’t know why your Billy is so nice to me,’ Rose said and looked at her sister awkwardly. ‘I wasn’t nice to him for a lot of years … and I put you in St Saviour’s when you didn’t want to go …’
‘You couldn’t have done anything else,’ Mary Ellen said and gave her waist a squeeze. ‘If you’d just stayed where you were in a dead-end job neither of us would’ve got anywhere. Besides, I was happy at St Saviour’s … Billy and me had all that time together as kids and that’s why we’re so happy now.’
‘Yes …’ Rose frowned. ‘I’ve heard a whisper it may be closing soon. I don’t know what Sister Beatrice will do then …’
‘Surely they wouldn’t do that,’ Mary Ellen said. ‘Do you think she knows?’
‘She hasn’t said anything to me yet – but she did tell me that if I wanted to specialise in paediatrics she would give me a good reference …’
‘I hope it doesn’t happen … what will the kids do if St Saviour’s isn’t there?’
‘I suppose the social will find a place for them, but it can’t be the same – it isn’t the same as it was when you were there, Mary Ellen.’
‘No, I don’t suppose so …’ Mary Ellen sighed. ‘Well, we can’t worry about it now, because you have to get dressed and go and meet your boyfriend.’
‘Nick isn’t my boyfriend …’ Rose said and her sister raised mocking eyebrows. ‘Well, I do like him but …’ She laughed and ran ahead of her sister into the shower block. ‘Beat you to it …’
Rose left the caravan park just after nine and strolled along the seafront towards the Britannia Pier. The wind was a little cool, but the sun was still warm if you found a sheltered spot. The pier was the furthest one from their caravan park and opposite a rather impressive hotel, which she knew did special lunches. Rose would have been happy to buy a meal at any of the little cafés along the front, because a simple meal of tomatoes on toast would have suited her, but she had a feeling that Nick might prefer the hotel.
As she got to the pier with its theatres, shops and amusements, she saw Nick waiting for her. He was standing with his back to her looking out to sea and she saw a small biplane flying close to the water trailing some kind of message behind it … a message from someone on holiday to his girlfriend by the look of it. Rose was laughing as Nick turned and then, as she saw the way he looked at her, her heart caught.
‘Rose!’ He came towards her, smiling, his eyes alight with pleasure as he took her hands and leaned in to kiss her softly on the lips. She felt a thrill of pleasure as she looked into his eyes. ‘It’s nice here on such a lovely day. I’m glad I came down …’
‘So am I,’ Rose said and meant it. She smiled up at him, feeling warmed and happy; the day was so much brighter now that he was here. ‘How are you – have you been working too hard? You look tired …’
‘We’ve been very busy so perhaps I am tired. I could do with a break …’ He looked about him and took a deep breath of the salty air. ‘What shall we do – find somewhere to sit and have a drink? It’s too cold to swim with this wind …’
‘Yes, let’s go on the pier,’ she said. ‘We’ll walk to the end and then find a sheltered place to sit and have a drink.’
‘Good idea,’ he agreed. ‘It’s still too good a day to be inside despite the breeze. It will be autumn soon enough. My wife hated the winter and I promised her a winter holiday in the sun when we could afford it … but I rather like the English coast, even though it can be cold.’
‘Do you still miss her very much?’ Rose asked the question that had nagged at her for a long time.
‘No, not really,’ Nick said and looked straight at her. ‘What we had was over long before she died. I feel guilty about it, because when she was so ill I wanted to love her, but it just wasn’t there any more …’
‘I’m sorry, Nick,’ Rose said softly. ‘I shouldn’t have asked a question like that …’
‘Why not?’ he said. ‘You have every right to ask – because we need to get these things out in the open. I care about you, Rose. I think I’m in love with you and I don’t still love Helen.’
‘Oh …’ she said and her breath caught because he was clearly waiting. ‘I feel more than friendship for you, Nick, but I was afraid …’
‘Afraid of getting hurt?’ he asked and nodded. ‘It’s the way I felt at first, Rose. I wanted to tell you almost from the first but I wasn’t sure … you do have other friends … male friends, I know.’
‘Stephen has kissed me a couple of times and I like him a lot but …’ She saw the pain in his face and touched his hand quickly. ‘I don’t love Stephen. I wasn’t sure at first how I felt about you, Nick. I was hurt once pretty badly and I didn’t want to make a mistake again. We went out a few times, but then you didn’t phone for ages …’
‘I told you I was busy. I had a huge job on and was pretty whacked out when I got home at night … But to be honest I wasn’t sure whether you wanted to go out with me on a regular basis. I didn’t want to get too fond of you in case you didn’t feel the same.’
‘Yes, I did – I do …’ Rose smiled and then felt herself blushing �
�� and she hadn’t done that since she was a teenager.
‘Do you think you could love me enough to be my wife?’ Nick asked and she heard the apprehension in his voice. ‘I’d rather you tell me if you just want to be friends … we can go on just as …’
Rose moved towards him and softly kissed him, right there in front of all the people walking by. Some smiled, some whistled and one or two looked disapproving of a public display of affection, but this was a holiday town and Rose didn’t care what other people thought as Nick’s arms closed about her. She could feel his tensed-up emotion and see the anxiety in his eyes and laughed.
‘I don’t think you choose to love people, Nick. You either do or you don’t …’ she whispered, ‘and I do … I wasn’t sure but now I am …’
‘Rose darling …’ It was as if the sunshine burst out of him and his smile lit up the day. ‘I’m so glad. I’ve wanted to tell you for weeks but the time never seemed right …’
Rose reached for his hand and they stood with hands clasped, staring out to sea watching a small boat crammed with trippers chugging along the coastline. Overhead, the gulls wheeled and dived, their shrill cries loud in the sky. She smiled, feeling the sun on her face and happiness start to spread through her. She heard music from someone’s transistor radio; it was playing Tab Hunter’s hit, ‘Young Love’ …
‘We’ll have that drink now to celebrate,’ she said. ‘They do a nice milkshake in that bar – or we can go for a stronger drink later …’
‘Let’s have a milkshake for now,’ Nick said and grinned like a small boy. ‘I haven’t had anything like that for years – a knickerbocker glory – that’s what I fancy …’
Rose giggled, catching his enthusiasm. She was just so happy. They had lots to talk about, plans to make for the future, but just for today she felt like being free and doing all the things she’d enjoyed as a child. Not that treats like this had been hers very often. East End kids didn’t get trips to the sea often, and that was what Rose loved about St Saviour’s – the way Sister Beatrice and Angela Adderbury had fought to give the Halfpenny Street kids all the things most of them had never known.
They spent most of the day wandering about, visiting the funfair and the rock shop where the sticky sweet was boiled and rolled out while still hot until it got thinner and thinner. They had decided against eating in a hotel and bought fish and chips to eat on the beach with beer and lemonade shandy, and huge soft ice creams afterwards.
They paddled at the edge of the sea, Rose carrying her sandals as she allowed the water to wash over her toes. Afterwards, she washed her feet under a tap near the promenade and Nick wiped them for her with his handkerchief. He bought her a kiss-me-quick hat and stole a kiss, and then he bought her a pair of pretty earrings from the stall at the end of the pier.
‘Just to remember this day …’ he said and Rose laughed and bought him a leather belt from the same vendor.
Joining hands they walked further along the promenade. Neither of them wanted to visit the shows or waste time eating in restaurants; they were eager just to laugh and tease and learn to know one another, to enjoy a stolen day from busy lives and relish the knowledge that they were in love.
Nick drew her to him and kissed her as the sun went down. ‘I had so much to say to you,’ he told her. ‘We’ll talk another day – when you come back to London. I want to marry you, Rose, but there are things you should know – and I must tell you …’
‘Can’t you tell me now?’
‘No, my darling. It’s been a wonderful day but I want you to meet my children, and I need to have you in the right surroundings so that I can explain things … All you need to know for now is that I love you …’
He kissed her again, sweetly, deeply, and Rose swayed into his body, wanting so much more. She was a woman now, not a girl, and ready for love. She needed to make love with him so that she felt a part of Nick, a part of his life.
‘I shall tell you everything,’ he whispered as they stood at the entrance to the caravan park, ‘and I hope you will still love me and want to marry me. Keep well, my darling.’
He was smiling as he got into his car and drove away and yet Rose sensed that whatever he had to tell her was serious. She worried at it for a moment and then pushed it from her mind. Rose knew what she wanted now and that meant she had to tell Stephen that she could only be his friend. She suspected that it would hurt and shock him, and she dreaded it, but it had to be done. She would telephone him at his surgery tomorrow, arrange to meet for a drink when she was back in London, and then she would tell him that she was going steady with someone else.
Pushing all else from her mind, she entered the caravan to see Mary Ellen and Billy tucking into fish and chips.
‘They look good.’ She smiled as her sister nodded and offered her a chip.
‘Did you have a lovely day?’
‘Yes, thank you,’ Rose said and accepted the cup of tea Billy offered. ‘It was lovely on the beach last thing when everyone else is in the pub or at the theatre.’
‘Yes, me and Billy had a walk up the other end earlier on,’ Mary Ellen said, ‘but I want to see that show on the pier we talked about before we go home and I’d like a boat trip too …’
‘You can get Rose to go with you,’ Billy said and grinned. ‘I’ll be content with a paddle at the water’s edge …’
Rose smiled at their banter, because she knew Billy would do whatever Mary Ellen wanted; he always did. Two more days of fun with them and then she would be back at work – and Nick was going to give her dinner at his home so that they could talk. He’d said they would have something simple and prepare it together and it sounded intimate and lovely. Rose couldn’t wait …
CHAPTER 29
Jinny started to feel better once her mother’s funeral was over. On Nellie’s advice she gave all her mother’s clothes and bits to a charity.
‘They’ll help some poor soul and yer ma don’t need ’em now,’ Nellie said. ‘I’ve sorted some of my kids’ things out and took ’em down the charity stall. I reckon I’ve found a place as will do us, but my old man still says ’e’ll make ’em put ’im out afore ’e leaves – but ’e’ll be sittin’ on the floor, ’cos once I’ve got me ’ouse I’m orf with all me bits …’
Jinny laughed and shook her head. She knew that Nellie had given up her own dreams of a lovely new council flat for Bert’s sake. He could never have settled away from the streets he knew and loved and so Nellie had searched for a house that she could afford to rent in the same area. She’d found a slightly better one than she’d lived in for years, but the rent was higher and so she’d offered to do a few more hours at St Saviour’s, which Sister Beatrice had been pleased to accept.
‘I’m afraid you and Jinny will be on your own for a time,’ she’d told Nellie. ‘Elsa is leaving us at the end of the month and I shall have to find a replacement for her.’
Elsa had already told them in the kitchen that she was leaving. She was over the moon because she’d been lucky enough to get a job in a branch of Boots on the perfume counters.
‘I’ll go to sea and be a sailor!’ Nellie exclaimed to Jinny afterwards. ‘If she can get a job like that you should be able to get anything you want, love.’
‘I don’t want to be anywhere but here,’ Jinny told her with a smile. She was going to miss her friend Elsa, but she had lots of other friends at St Saviour’s and she’d joined a cookery course at evening class.
‘Come on then,’ Nellie challenged. ‘Show me how they taught you to make Queen of Puddings at evening class, and then I’ll show you my way – and we’ll see how the kids like it best.’
Jinny smiled, because Nellie was always setting her little challenges, rallying her whenever she let herself feel down. ‘I bet they’ll like yours best,’ she said, ‘but it will be fun seeing which one they choose.’
In the end both puddings were cleared and no one grumbled; everyone seemed happy and content and Jinny was beginning to feel that way herse
lf as she settled into the life at St Saviour’s. Now and then she would feel grief because she’d lost both parents and had no one special of her own, but she was so busy working, learning and going out with friends that she hardly had time to feel sorry for what might have been …
Micky came round once in a while and took her to the flicks on her Saturdays off. They’d been to see Bridge on the River Kwai, The Barretts of Wimpole Street, and The Curse of Frankenstein, which had come round again. Micky liked The Curse of Frankenstein and the war film and thought the other was soppy, but Jinny enjoyed it. She just enjoyed going out with him and the pain of losing her mum had begun to lessen as the autumn took hold and the temperatures dropped.
Everyone had a good time at Nancy’s engagement party, and it ended up being more like a kids’ treat than the kind of party most people wanted for their engagement, but Nancy was happy and Rob didn’t care one way or the other as long as his Nancy smiled at him.
So then it was October and the papers were filled with the news that the Russians had put a man-made satellite into space; it was called Sputnik 1 and was orbiting five hundred miles above the Earth and sending back signals – which hadn’t pleased the Americans who had wanted to be the first in space.
In the kitchens at St Saviour’s the launch was a ten-minute wonder and then the talk returned to local matters. The nights had started to pull in and it was getting colder at night when Micky said he wouldn’t be around for a while.
‘I’ll be back in a few days,’ he told Jinny and kissed her as he left her outside the nurses’ home that night. ‘I shan’t be able to take you out this Saturday though. Be good – and remember you’re my girl …’
‘Where are you goin’?’ Jinny asked but he shook his head and grinned at her.
‘What yer don’t know won’t hurt yer,’ he said and tapped the side of his nose. ‘It’s just somethin’ I have to do, love, ’cos I don’t want to be stuck in a stinkin’ little hovel for the rest of me life like me ma. I’ll see you soon, Jinny …’