THE SACRIFICE: Secret Society Romance (4Horsemen Series Book 3)

by Elena Monroe

  I was surrounded by people with those issues, but relating to that kind of pain? Impossible. My parents smothered me in love that only seemed to get bigger every time one of my sisters were born.

  The fun? The games? The good time? All melted off me right with my face when I let my fingertips touch her hand and a genuine apology slipped out.

  Taking her hand back as soon as the waitress brought some cokes, she forced a laugh, “It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

  My unicorn was also a fire breathing dragon.

  Leaving it alone, I ordered burritos in Spanish letting my ability to speak multiple languages impress her even though she wasn’t impressed by anything.

  “Oh my gosh, Khaos, where are you from? Where did you grow up? What’s your sign?” I paused being dramatic then reacted, thanking myself for the questions in return.

  There was that laugh that appreciated my brand of humor.

  “You’re so needy. I can tell you grew up somewhere rich, we’re probably around the same age and I’m guessing the only symbol or sign you associate with is the money sign.”

  Pretending to be hurt I also appreciated her honesty.

  It’s not like my girlfriends were faking it or lying to me, but let’s just say they liked me a lot more now. How they felt about me kept their honesty on a tight leash.

  “Why is everyone trying to insult me today? You could be wrong.” Sucking down the Coke I waited for her to be cruel, the kind that took guts to be.

  “Your watch is an easy 50K and it’s not the only one you own, I’m guessing you’re a Leo by the lion pendent on that thick solid gold chain which has gotta be custom, you're wearing Calvin briefs that are reserved for Insta trendsetters, your board has new grip tape that is barely worn in because you have multiple boards while we use ours until they snap, and you didn’t even look at the menu for prices. Nail on the head, huh?”

  As much as I was reading her like a book she was reading me like an instruction manual.

  “That’s all surface level shit that either one of us could figure out. Shall we play for keeps? I raise you one taco.” The waitress came almost on cue with all the burritos and tacos I ordered.

  She took one inhale and I could see the hunger begging her to do whatever it took.

  “I raise you a burrito. Hit me. I’m not the one afraid to be honest.” Taking a burrito into her hands she ate with enthusiasm, each bite deserving a little dance and moan. Most of my girlfriends choose salads on every menu at every restaurant over anything with carbs.

  “What are you most afraid of?”

  She stopped chewing, sitting up straighter, “Disloyalty and being considered a traitor. You?”

  Licking the sour cream off my fingers I heard her answer and thought of my responsibility to the Clave.

  “Two years not being enough freedom before I have to marry some stranger.”

  “Why would you marry someone you didn’t want to?”

  Pushing her winnings to her side I let her have the win. Mine was complicated and I was bound by the Clave to keep our secrets.

  “It’s a family tradition. Two more years of fun before I’m domesticated.”

  She laughed with her mouth around the burrito, “You’re one of those mutts that doesn’t ever learn to not pee on the rug.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh along with her when her eyes clamped down cracking herself up and I had caught the infectious laughter.

  The mood shifted when she basically cut off her own laughter when she looked me dead in the eyes forcing me to notice the blue tone of hers that felt like waves catching me and not letting me go. “Why a snake? On the party favors.”

  Letting my head dip, I had to compose myself. I was ready to give her all of my truths and apologize to whoever needed me to later, but when it came to the Clave my tongue was covered in papercuts. They stung every time I went to tell the truth, and the inevitable fallout of death would be a lot worse than those cuts could ever be. It wasn’t my own death I was worried about; I was untouchable. It was a worry for people I didn’t want to die. I was always keeping them a healthy distance away from the Clave.

  See? I’m not selfish.

  “It’s the symbol for the company I work for. Custom made. Impressed yet?”

  I watched her digest all the information in a way that made me stare longer than I meant to at her bent brow and the way she looked away too quickly.

  She wasn’t reading me like an instruction manual, she was taking notes.

  Standing up, I shouted to Tony to put it on my tab, our lunch that went well past dinner, when I grabbed our boards off the barstool next to us before I could think into her reaction. Most people think I’m weird, but she didn’t pretend to like me and that’s what I liked best.

  I was going to have to win her over without the charm, the bullshit, the antics and just be… me.

  I kept my hands to myself, if I touched her even in some innocent way, I was going to want more.

  A lot more of her.

  Keeping some kind of safe space between us we headed back to the skatepark basking in not touching even though our hands kept swinging into each other’s.

  “Don’t you have a curfew? What’s that about?”

  She shifted like I brought up a hard topic to talk about. “Yeah, my stepdad I live with locks the gate at a certain time. I climb over the wall if I miss it, no bigs.”

  I’m parent friendly anyways.

  GRACE

  That was the first time I lied to Khaos… and I did it with so much ease I almost impressed myself.

  Somewhere right under all my pride, my gang version of employee of the month and self-preservation was a sting of pain.

  Khaos didn’t deserve to be lied to even if we had an expiration date of a few days.

  Shaking off my pass at being a good person I reminded myself he’s a mark and nothing but a mark. When Dove aims he never misses, this kid was as good as dead and when his body turns up, I can’t have any evidence on me of a good time.

  I kept getting lost in how easy it was to feel normal around Khaos. Everything I thought the Clipped Wings was going to be (family, security, unconditional love) turned out to really be a lot of strings attached. With him I felt like he had cut every last one of them.

  I was already dangling from strings and now I was lying. What’s next? I just have to be brave enough to be a good person so I can be a real girl?

  Back at the skatepark I got a few more runs in, more like therapy instead of a hobby. It kept my head on straight even if these wings were rentals.

  Ears shouted my direction, “Birdy! Birdy!” I skated right to him when he eyed me trying to squeeze me for information with a goofy ass grin on his ebony skin.

  I was technically his boss, but we kept each other in line. He sold so I didn’t have to, and I shared my pennies with him.

  Khaos was still standing there and I knew whatever Ears wanted to say wasn’t meant for him to hear. Turning to face him I pursed my lips ready to friend zone him as I pushed my knuckles out to meet his. “Well, thanks for the burritos. It’s been real.”

  His face came closer, twisting until his lips touched my cheek. It may have just been my cheek, but I felt that kiss in the pit of my stomach and in the goosebumps populating my arms now. Jumping on his board he skated down the sidewalk with a peace sign in the air, a clear response to my platonic fist bump even though he already proved how much he wasn’t going to let me friend zone him.

  Expiration date or not he wasn’t gone for good. He wasn’t easy to get rid of.

  Ears realized we aren’t telepathic when he continued speaking in a low tone even after he was out of earshot, “I’ve been asking around. He might be in a rival gang… Apparently, he’s really private and always peacing out randomly. I thought Dove didn’t have any competition.”

  Kicking my board up into my hands I stared at him completely confused by his words. Clipped Wings didn’t have any competition, rivals, or even enemies - exactly how
Dove willed it. And Khaos? He doesn’t exactly fall in line, does he?

  No gang mentality there.

  “Well, that’s why I’m saddled with the amazing task of finding out and not you, Ears,” I snapped back still trying to push away all my thoughts.

  I thought I had enough information to draw some conclusions to keep Dove busy while I went back to my normal life: watch, learn, plan, and snatchies. I was over playing spy and getting tangled in a guy who was more dangerous than Dove.

  He held the ability to make me forget and transport me to some piece of paradise. That was dangerous because paradise was just a pair of dice in my world except when you roll and it's always unlucky.

  “You hear me? Hey!” Ears shouted into me while reaching forward to hand me a joint. He rolled them the best and used pineapple paper which was my favorite.

  Lost in my own thoughts I was dragged out of daydreaming back to some fucked up version of a life I was used to. Snagging the joint from his fingers I brought it to my lips taking a deep inhale. I needed to come up with some conclusions for Dove that ended me being a pawn in this game.

  I wracked my brain trying to figure out why the snake was stamped on my frontal lobe and it was becoming difficult to become unglued from when my third inhale trapped in my lungs opened my mind open to possibilities.

  Vic’s bullhorn at the protests had the same logo.

  Khaos is clearly friends with Justice and Vic.

  Those folders on the kitchen island with a snake embossed into the front when I crashed at Justice’s place.

  That card Justice used the last time we went out had that same snake.

  Laying on my board I pushed off the curb rolling back and forth when I shouted to Ears to search a company in LA with a snake logo. It wasn’t a rival gang; it was something connecting all the acquaintances in life together.

  Almost like a family.

  Almost like unconditional love.

  Almost like security.

  Once I had done all the work piecing it together, I felt the heartache of not having those kinds of binds when I got up, handing his joint back to him and waiting for the results.

  “A high school, a shoe shop, a nonprofit… real limited here. Clave International Holdings? I can’t get into the site, but it has a snake.”

  Ripping the phone from his hands I sent myself the link before looking at it with an investigating eye. An all-black screen with a gold snake trapped in a circle and their company name circling it with no hints as to what kind of company it was.

  The snake was a perfect match, outstretched but coiled at the bottom, equal parts threatening and alluring.

  “I could kiss you… if you weren’t a terrible kisser.”

  Popping up I skated down the sidewalk without so much as a bye. I was determined to end the charade and give Dove the answers he wanted.

  Khaos worked for the Clave and the drugs were somehow connected.

  Skating home took a while, but I had too much energy fueled by solving a mystery to take the bus, that’s too much sitting.

  Instead, I took a detour down the main strip where the tourists are in packs and I always made out pickpocketing. Information on its own was never enough for Dove, he wanted the information, the goods, and your soul while you’re at it.

  When I got back the gate was closed but the keypad was still working when I typed in the code and watched it come to life as it opened. I was already planning how the conversation would go in my head even though Dove wasn’t someone you could ever plan for.

  Dropping my board and bag I looked down at my outfit: the cut off shorts and shirt tied right back into place after Khaos threw it back. Pulling the beanie off my head I tousled my hair letting my short locks fall to mostly one side. Walking to the back of the house I heard Dove yelling already, it was the baseline for his voice unless he expected you to spread your legs.

  Then he was quieter only so he could pretend I believed he was the source of my pleasure.

  His office was filled with guys, all contacts and donors to the cause, when I leaned against the door waiting to snag his attention.

  Once he was done yelling from his comfortable spot on his desk, he noticed me, his eyes ran up my legs to my tits and all I could do was exhale. Exhale the bad like Meadow told me to when I denied letting her give me some kind of spiritual journey ending with a discovery of my spirit animal.

  Exhale.

  Exhale.

  Exhale until his eyes weren’t eating me alive.

  His eyes widened and pinned me to the door frame with the metal piece digging into the backside of my hip. He was willing me to talk and I would have with a lot less strong-arming me to. That’s the thing about distorted loyalty - even when it stops being good for you, you're forced to keep living it.

  I wasn’t going to be the one branded as a traitor all because being loyal to Dove didn’t suit me anymore.

  I owed him everything. He yanked me from juvie, gave me a home (fucked up as it may be), perfected my skills, paid me, and for outshining the others I got more mutually destructive benefits. At first, I didn’t care that those benefits meant giving him blow jobs and being his arm candy because I was successful and had nice things.

  The glimmer wears off pretty quickly when you realize your worth is only as good as what you bring to the table.

  A Rolex I lift? Good graces.

  Finding new targets who will buy party favors? Good graces.

  Missing a deadline or not bringing in as much money as he wants? Well, that’s where you learn your worth. The few times that I took his desires less seriously than my own I wore the marks of that mistake for a few weeks, expertly hiding it with concealer and big clothes.

  Normally it wasn’t pulling my weight, but my mouth that would earn me the backhand.

  “All his goodies have a snake on them, it stands for Clave International Holdings. There’s no way he has power there.” I told Dove everything I found out with a big smile like I was off the hook.

  “Good, I want you to keep eyes on him. Keep him interested.” Dove had a voice like whiskey, it was smooth but left a burn.

  “No way. He’s going to expect me to… no. Get one of the girls to do it. That’s not my job.” My voice was strained trying to get out of it.

  He glanced over his shoulder at the room like I had just pantsed him or something else embarrassing. I should have known what was coming next when his knuckles back handed me leaving right below my eye to sting and well up.

  His hand clutched the nape of my neck and he whispered, “Don’t you ever think you’re irreplaceable, Little Bird. I’ve let you run your mouth too many times.”

  I stiffened with my eyes watering from the sharp pain, letting his words keep throwing jabs. Everyone is disposable in his world.

  Once his grasp released, I fled the doorway, the tears dried up and my anger became my focus instead of the kind of betrayal I felt lodged in my chest.

  It wasn’t the first time Dove put me in my place and wouldn’t be the last.

  Damn mouth.

  I didn’t bother overstaying my welcome. It was his home and I was a guest - that much was clear. Grabbing my board and bag I escaped not entirely sure where I was going when my phone buzzed in my back pocket.

  EARS: Party tonight. You in?

  ME: I’m in. Pick me up?

  EARS: Be at the stop sign in 10.

  Ears knew to pick me up at the stop sign at the end of the road.

  He knew the most about my personal life, not where the bruises come from or much about Dove, but he’s too smart for his own good. Ears has been drawing conclusions since he met me.

  Twirling around the stop sign I let myself get dizzy. I never got to be a kid and now I only indulged myself in small portions like twirling around the stop sign for fun.

  It hadn’t occurred to me that the party could be a Khaos party when Dove’s disregard for me was pushing me to do whatever it took to keep Khaos interested.

  Whatever it to
ok meant the same benefits Dove got.

  Whatever it took meant offering myself up on a silver platter.

  Whatever it took meant taking the tension, stolen touches, even that peck on my cheek and doing something about it.

  Ears pulled up doing a U-turn stopping at the vacant stop sign for me to hop into his beat-up Honda. He made good money producing small time rappers and selling but he was still humble.

  That’s how you knew he was a good guy.

  “Where’s the party?” I asked before my ass really touched the worn in seats.

  “You’re new boyfriends. He sent me a text inviting us,” tossing his phone in my lap I saw the proof with my own eyes.

  How did Khaos get his number?

  “Clinger, but hot,” tossing my words out like word vomit before adjusting my eyes out the window.

  “Dove again?” I felt his glare burning a hole in me where his whiskey voice burned my skin.

  “It’s nothing. Least it’s not some cracked ribs.”

  I wanted to laugh and make light of it but I couldn’t. There was no light to this, Dove does what he wants and we all deal.

  Rummaging through my backpack I found some concealer when I let the dirty mirror drop down. Dabbing it in I winced at touching the sore spot and looked at it covered up making sure I didn’t miss any spots.

  “That shit is a lot like sweeping it under a rug.”

  My head jerked to my left looking at his judgement with all of my attention.

  I was sweeping it under the rug because what else was I going to do? There’s no magic wand that makes Dove a good person and me someone who doesn’t deserve every ounce of bad luck this world has to offer.

  Khaos’s house looked different in the daylight like Vegas when all the lights are off and it feels less consuming.

  Daytime always forces us into being less damaged if you wanna blend in.

  When it gets dark somehow we become more of ourselves thinking no one can see in the dark. People can’t but Khaos had a lot of neon and twinkle lights.

  There was a pool party already in full swing.