by Elena Monroe
It was pretty sick.
He’s had my attention that he’s wanted since the day I met him, and I still couldn’t understand why. I was a ghost to the world, the internet, to even people around me. I barely exist to myself, that’s how I justified getting treated like shit my whole life. If I barely existed it could barely hurt, right?
It made taking all the hits a lot easier, not just physically but mentally.
I should be invincible by now. Not here enough to hurt.
Laying down to paddle back to the beach the guys all booed me like it was unacceptable to leave without trying to catch at least one wave. It was. I was disrespecting the ocean and she could be cruel as fuck by turning flat for a month.
All my attention was on Khaos while I wracked my own brain as to why he was so focused on me… I was just a ghost and he was trying to befriend me like fucking Casper, only I wasn’t very friendly.
Ears was on the beach swiping his hand along strangers who were exchanging their money for pot. “Where are you going B? You didn’t even catch a wave.”
“Jesus, I know! I’m just leaving. I’ve been here an hour.” I was feeling insecure and defensive when it came to the vulnerability I felt about Khaos being absent.
His brows shot up his forehead in shock that I snapped, “Yeah, it’s only been an hour, you think he finally gave up stalking your moody ass?”
Pulling down the plain white shirt over my bikini top I stepped into my overalls and clipped one strap before I grabbed my backpack. “Can you just throw my board in your car? I’m gonna skate.” I didn’t want to carry it where I was going and I didn’t want to say either.
“In my broke down Honda? Sure, anything for you, milady…” there was a giant pause after his sarcasm that left room for me to escape when he shouted, “Have fun stalking him now! It voids your restraining order if you chase him too.”
Fucking Ears, he was too damn smart.
Still pushing my feet into my Vans, posing an issue with wet sandy feet, I jumped on one leg when I noticed my lips trying to crawl into a smile.
Now I was smiling about my own personal stalker and his day off. Awesome.
I didn’t know where his office was exactly, only that it was in the business section and the blackest building on the block that I noticed when Kennedy dropped him off with me in tow. Kicking and pushing I skated down the sidewalk making my way there.
He wasn’t holding up his end of the you run and I chase speech he gave me.
Khaos was going to be the only person I hold accountable in my life because he was the only person threatening to change my life.
Not make a deal.
Not imprison me.
Change my life only because his presence had been a shock wave through it.
By the time I got to the business district of LA my legs felt like jello. Kicking up my board I snatched it out of the air and looked up at the only black building with black windows that could give you an all-over creepy feeling if you stared too long.
I walked to the doors, yanking on the handle, but they wouldn’t budge. Looking at my phone in the front pocket of my overalls it was barely 1:30 on a weekday which begged normal operating hours.
Taking some big steps back, I examined the building until I noticed a truck pulling into the garage and stepped on my board, sinking down low. Hooking myself onto his bumper like a tow hook charm I let him drag me inside.
No one was in the glass box when he scanned some kind of card and the yellow bar lifted for him.
Pretty high security and I would know - I steal for a living. Getting past security measures is a big part of the job.
Keeping my head low, I twisted my baseball cap forward shielding me from any cameras even though my tattoos, hair, height, and weight were all on display. Identifying someone is so much more than a face when you’re motivated enough.
I can recognize voices, footsteps, eyes, and even mannerisms on their own. I’m a walking, talking, professional when it comes to all things stealth.
Easy for a ghost.
Once the truck pulled up far enough on the fourth level, I let the momentum swing me to the right hoping he didn’t hear the wheels on my board. Hiding behind a pillar, I rolled my eyes thinking how much easier Khaos’s version of stalking is, meanwhile I’m basically breaking and entering.
Peering over my shoulder, I watched an older guy in a plaid trench coat slip down from the driver's seat looking like pure reckless endangerment.
What the fuck did they do here? Did Khaos ever drop any hints about his work?
Maybe that’s why he parties so hard - to forget.
I watched the attractive man rivaling Dove’s immaculate looks as he rounded the back of the truck. With one pull on the handle, he opened the door with guns hanging on the walls of the inside. He wasn’t apologetic at all and clearly not worried about anyone seeing which made discomfort crawl up my legs.
Taking out my phone I snapped a few pictures not because I knew the value of evidence but because I knew blackmail gets the job done when you need it to.
Peering even further over my shoulder I tried to see who he was talking to but all I saw was their height and black hoodie covering up who they were as much as I was.
Nothing about this exchange seemed kosher. It was seedy the way I knew best.
Khaos wasn’t kidding when he made it clear how off limits we were for each other. I was in a gang and whatever this was seemed like upping the ante.
What are you involved in, Khaos? I asked myself, still waiting for the guys to leave so I could sneak into an elevator.
The exchange didn’t take much longer when the tall, hooded, figure slapped his hand and spun around. I didn’t even see money transferred or even hear any words - it was like a language all their own.
I was more fluent in threats, heavy duffles of money, and the sound of a gun cocking as a final warning.
The older guy left the truck and walked over to a Mercedes like this was typical. My mind was trying to wrap this all up in a bow, but it was one of those gifts that were an odd shape to wrap. Whatever this was… it was big time, seamless, and way above Dove’s paygrade.
Dove was targeting Khaos when he wasn’t seeing just how out of balance the scales are.
Slamming my shoulder blades against the cold concrete, I stayed in the shadows and watched the sports car speed off. Once it was far enough away, I peered out into the space to see that the hooded figure was gone. Carrying my board, I walked as fast my legs would go after skating here pushing the elevator button until I saw the digital floors drop down to me.
I was anxious and uncomfortable for someone who lives in a parallel world that now seems less dangerous than before.
The doors opened to an empty elevator and I ran inside pushing every button. I wasn’t even sure where Khaos was in the high rise or why I thought he was worth all this trouble. All I knew was that he was.
Everytime the doors opened a vacant floor was exposed. Floor after floor the same visual came into my sight: emptiness. It was like a trick or maze of nothingness to throw people off.
Trust me, I was thrown.
It wasn’t until the 13th floor the elevators opened exposing a hallway with more elevators and when I looked to my right there was a large desk with letters on the wall spelling Clave International Holdings with a snake weaving through the letters.
It was clean, buzzing with people working, and the girl at the front desk was drop dead gorgeous as I ambled my way over to her.
She was bubbling over with her perfect smile, professional poise, and silky voice as she greeted me. My insecurities flared up and it made me realize how much attention to my own appearance I didn’t take into consideration until I saw what surrounded Khaos daily.
Ghosts don’t give a shit about curves, makeup, or flirting.
“Welcome to the Clave, do you have an appointment?” Fine China and silk were what she was made of.
Standing awkwardly in front of the desk, I c
ontemplated leaving before I even got to see Khaos. Leaning in I whispered, “I’m here to see Khaos…”
Only now did I realize it was a nickname and not a real name.
“What’s your name?” She asked politely, still smiling when it wasn’t necessary.
“Birdy…”
Birdy wasn’t my real name either.
How much of us was even real? Can stalking someone make it all feel real enough to drag my ass up here?
Her face paused to examine me when she told me to have a seat on the modern couches against the wall. Plopping down, I held my board under my feet not letting it make a sound when a few moments later she picked up the phone snickering. It probably wasn’t even about me, yet my insecurities flared up once again when her eyes drifted towards me.
Uncomfortable, I stood on my board and rolled past the desk in search of Khaos myself. Each corner of the large space was different, drastically so. One corner was pristine and modern like the rest of the office while another corner looked unoccupied and had me gasping for a bigger gulp of air. Another corner was stark white and so clean you could probably eat off the space while the last corner looked like a wreck.
Khaos 101.
Passing a kitchen, I saw the same figure with the hoodie I had seen in the parking garage making a coffee. He must have felt me staring when his head shot up to my eyes looking at me intensely.
Trying to keep it casual I pushed up my chin, “Do you know where Khaos is?” I recognized him instantly from protests and being friends with Justice’s man.
He was frail but not weak, blonde but not natural, a golden complexion that gave life to his dead eyes, and his full lips looked permanently sad.
“Probably in his office,” pointing ahead he stared at me confused like I was out of place, but he didn’t care much about fixing it.
Nodding my head, as much closure to the conversation as he was going to get, I headed to where he pointed. There was a danger sign leaning against a vacant desk that should have been a sign to leave, yet I kept forging forward until a young man at a desk gave me a pointed stare.
“Typically, guests wait out front until escorted back to the office… guess you couldn’t wait.” His tone was sharp, matching his eyes, as he swept me like I was garbage beneath his feet. Between him and the girl up front I was really questioning being here.
My foot kicked the edge of the desk looking down, “Can you just tell him I’m here? That Birdy… is here.”
The door was closed behind him and all I heard were things crashing and breaking, the sound of collisions that made your shoulders tense and ears try to fold in on themselves just to avoid hearing it.
Picking up his phone he typed out a message quickly before resuming the assessment I was under. Clearly, I was missing some of the picture here and I was smacked in the face with some hostile jealousy I hadn’t even seen from his multiple girlfriends… during an orgy… and whatever kind of pull had me kneeling at his feet.
“So, you’re the girl he had me looking for. How darling, he must be doing charity now.”
His words were supposed to hurt, they didn’t. He was going to have to try a lot harder even when I’m this uncomfortable in my own skin.
My shoe was still mindlessly hitting the leg on the corner of the desk trying to keep my eyes down and focus on the reason I was here - Khaos, not to fight everyone else judging me. “Well, no more looking, I’m here.”
He stifled a laugh, “You seem uncomfortable, why is that?”
My attention was ripped from him when the door flew open and a computer flew out of the doorway and landed on the floor next to us accompanied by shouting. “Ethan! It’s not fucking working! Fix it!”
With wide eyes I stared at the doorway, shifting further into the opening when Ethan announced my presence to the space and Khaos didn’t even skip a beat before rushing out of his office. His strong arms wrapped around me and lifted me up against him in a way that took my breath away.
Khaos’s voice rumbled in my ear against my hair stuck down by my backwards hat that I turned around so no one thought I was casing the place.
Not going to lie, kind of was.
Only after he spun around with his grasp on me and the room blurred, he slowly let me slip down his hard body that wasn’t helping my brain to remember to breathe.
“What are you doing here? How sick would it be if thinking about you always ended up in you appearing? Fuck me, that’d be awesome.”
It was like no time had passed between us, we picked up right where we left off, only I was chasing him this time. “You were MIA for a few days so I thought I would check in…” I wanted to hit myself for admitting it so easily, but he smelled like gummies and confidence that put me at ease so much I had to watch what fell from my mouth.
I realized our arms were still clutched onto each other when I pulled myself back and took a giant step. Self-preservation is priority, always.
Khaos popped a smirk as his hands dug into his pockets, “So you were worried about me?”
I looked around trying to get a sense of the space, what they did here, and the dynamics but it was too hard to swallow everything at once. My overwhelming senses were bouncing between too many things.
“Can we go somewhere? Private?” I asked in a whisper.
Throwing up a finger, he stormed back into his office and returned with a board in his hand before tossing a Starburst over his shoulder towards Ethan, “I’m out of here. Send my regards to the bros.” His arm closed around my neck forcing me to glue myself to his side if I wanted to be able to keep up with his long legs.
He was quick to give me his time and attention even in whatever this place was - his own version of a gang. I wondered what it must be like to have that kind of power and if I would one day have that.
ETHAN
I wasn’t impressed. He deserved a whole lot better than a girl wearing beat-up Vans and overalls who wasn’t even sure why she was at his place of work anyways.
That’s the problem: she shouldn’t know where he works.
She’s not inner circle, in his alphabet, or anyone to him but a skate buddy, yet she was kicking my desk like there was so much more to it than that.
Before she weaseled into his life anymore, I needed to take action.
If we were being honest... she was going to end up dead from knowing too much already anyways so why should I feel bad at rushing the inevitable?
I don’t.
Someone has to protect Khaos.
GRACE
It’s funny how we’re able to find the people with the exact amounts of personality that our own is missing. By his side I felt invincible, confident… alive.
It made me wonder what I brought to the table except lies.
Once we were outside, he turned to look at the building, giving it a once over before looking back at me, “This place is pretty much off limits, Birdy. I’m sure I would be banned from your gang headquarters too. The Clave is dangerous. They’ll start asking questions and dig into your life because you’re an outsider who shouldn’t know this place even exists.”
Stepping on my board, I looked over my shoulder at him, “What life? I didn’t have one until now…”
That smirk came back, turning up all his features. “Well, then go on a date with me. You basically just admitted you have no plans...”
I felt my exterior crack along where my interior threatened to. Both cracking ever so slightly, just enough for him to seep inside me and ferment some wishful thinking.
“Fine. You win.”
Then why didn’t I feel like the loser in this equation?
Finding a burger spot, we sat down and my thighs burned, screaming at me to stop boarding for the day. Sitting felt too good when a middle-aged woman brought over laminated menus.
“This doesn’t count to be clear. I need time to prepare. Shock and awe,” he tossed towards me still examining the menu expertly when I noticed the burger named Khaos.
Already laugh
ing at the reality that he probably did frequent places enough to have something named after him. “You have a burger named after yourself? Seriously?”
“I grew up in LA, well, France too. I’ve been coming here since I was in middle school. I’m a loyal bitch.”
I wasn’t worried about his loyalty; I was worried about his ability to stay alive when Dove found out this wasn’t just an extraction mission anymore. It was growing into more by the day.
Didn’t Romeo have the chance to agree to death? Dove was writing history, Khaos had no choice in dying if he deemed it so.
Throwing up two fingers in the air, one of the guys behind the counter of the 50’s style diner shouted two for Khaos making everyone look in our direction even though we ordered silently.
“Is that your party trick? Speaking French?” I had never taken an interest in anyone enough to ask these kinds of questions and I felt the last of my defenses sound like judgement anytime I tried to make conversation with him.
Sitting back against the booth, the woman dropped off two cokes before he said thanks to her. “Among other things. My mom is French and ended up in America because she fell for my dad when he was on a business trip which isn’t really allowed so I guess I got my love of rule breaking from him. What’s your party trick?”
Shifting my eyes down, I smiled knowing I had never told anyone about my special talent who’d appreciate it. The only person who knew was Dove, who slapped me right after calling me a slut in front of his guests.
“I can unwrap candy with my tongue… like cherry stems. Those are easy to tie too.”
Khaos doubled over the table, groaning, “I think I just came… I’m not embarrassed about it either.”
Breaking out into a fit of laughter, I didn’t try to stay silent, I felt my defenses fade into the background and a sense of comfort flare up around me like it always did with him.
That was the thing about Khaos, he wasn’t someone that required too much from you. You were enough just as you are, and he would adjust accordingly.
Once our laughter died down a plate of 4 am fries arrived that I didn’t hear him order. Fries with cheese and gravy, the best way to eat them.