THE SACRIFICE: Secret Society Romance (4Horsemen Series Book 3)

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THE SACRIFICE: Secret Society Romance (4Horsemen Series Book 3) Page 27

by Elena Monroe


  Teaching Khaos new tricks was like getting yourself a new puppy and expecting them to be housebroken already.

  “You just got your cast off so let’s take this slow today, okay?” He was already racing me to my van, jingling the keys, my van had about twenty years on all his cars- before cars became spaceships with actual horsepower.

  “Not my first rodeo babe. Just get in,” by the time I got in he was already trying to find a hype song and soundtrack to drive too.

  We had been practicing in cars from his collection every day for the past few weeks when I was incapable of moving without a walker, driving to the store and parking near the skatepark just so I could watch everyone grind. I trusted him with my heart so now my van was just part of that deal.

  Slamming himself against the seat like the boost kicked in when he accelerated into drive at only 30 miles per hour, I slapped his thigh watching his eyes go wide like something scared him and I broke out into a laughter.

  Big moments always feel like a flash in a pan, quick and never painless because the sting they leave on your soul is something that never goes away. Ten years from now, happy, lying in bed with your lover your mind could all but summon that sting again and you’d feel the flash all over like it was yesterday.

  That’s what happened when we went from laughing to the car tipping over on its side.

  That sting has a way of making you aware of the weirdest things like the sun stinging my eyes, the so-called hype song still blaring through the speakers, and the way the seatbelt felt strangling.

  California was all on a hill and any wrong move sent you tumbling down until you hit a tree or rock. I felt the van slam up against something hard when I rag dolled in my seat with the seatbelt imprinting into my tan skin. I could feel the burn against the fabric when I searched for Khaos unsure if I could move all my limbs yet.

  My shoe was stuck under the part of my van that was caved in where it had been hit when I yanked myself free and pressed down on the seatbelt holding me hostage. It took every bit of strength I had when the seatbelt released, and I felt myself fall into the dashboard at this angle that told me the van was tipped over.

  Finding Khaos hunched over the steering wheel, I felt my heart seize up in my chest, a grip so tight I felt myself stop breathing as I touched his arm hoping he’d respond. “Khaos? Khaos...”

  Pushing on his shoulder his body moved, hitting the window with a dense thud when I saw the glass digging into his shirt. His face was drained of all life and my heart still felt like it was at a standstill when I whispered, “Don’t drink the poison yet.”

  Making my way over him I pushed the door open and climbed out leaving Khaos suspended only by the seat belt. He wasn’t waking up and I was starting to panic at the glass in his chest even though I knew I needed to stay calm. They tell you to stay calm in the face of tragedy but how can you when you need the exact organ that isn’t working to think properly.

  His limp body felt like the heaviest bag of bones when I curled my arms under his, dragging him from the busted door, hunched over trying to walk up the hill backwards with the extra weight.

  Once I got to the road my eyes darted around the area looking for any sign of life to stop to help me before I fished out my phone dialing 9-1-1.

  Another thing ghosts don’t do.

  The spotlight Khaos would approve of.

  My chest deflated and filled at a rapid speed when a woman's voice answered asking what my emergency was when my mind felt paused. All I could think was please don’t be dead when I dropped to the dirt next to him trying to want him to live as much as I did.

  We just met. This wasn’t enough time. We didn’t get enough of each other to stay full when we weren’t apart.

  I heard the sirens before I saw them racing towards us when the paramedics dragged a gurney towards Khaos who only looked more dead. His face was paler, void of the normal dramatics and technicolor you could see in every word he said.

  “He’s not breathing. We… the car crashed. He -” I tried to find the words to explain, to give them what they needed but I was speechless.

  The paramedics lifted him and focused on him when a woman came up beside me trying to look me over, “You can be in shock. I need to examine you.”

  Throwing my hands up I met her eyes with horror, “Don’t touch me. I’m fine. He’s the one who needs help. He has a fucking piece of glass in his chest.” Hearing myself, those words out loud, I felt my heart sink down to the ground. It was so full of Khaos that losing him made it feel too heavy to carry.

  Following the paramedics into the ambulance I reached out for his hand, clearly in their way, but I didn’t care. I needed to soak up as much of him as I could even if this version wasn’t him at all.

  “He used to take meds… a lot… not sure if they could still be in his system. He’s sober now. He… he doesn’t want anything like that in his body anymore.” I was filling the silence with useless knowledge that wasn’t helpful at all.

  The paramedics didn’t acknowledge me when I kept asking why he wasn’t waking up. Everything seemed far away, slightly blurred and out of focus, while I grasped onto his hand as they worked around him. The girl driving in front shouted to the back, “In bound, three minutes.”

  “He has to go to Cedars… his doctor is there,” there was no real way to say that he’s in a cult and the doctor he sees is on their payroll.

  The guy next to me taking his blood pressure gave me a sympathetic look like my desires were the least of their worries. “You need to be examined when we arrive. He doesn’t want to wake up and you’re not there. What exactly happened? The police will do a report at the hospital just to get the whole story.”

  I swallowed that damn lump in my throat when he said the word police. That was a knee jerk reaction I was bound to never lose. I was still technically part of a gang and my other foot was now in a cult making me want to be even more of a ghost. I couldn’t talk to the police about what happened because my mind was made up. I knew who did this, the same guy who put a bullet in me and the same guy who put a price on Khaos’s head.

  I was supposed to be dead.

  I was supposed to be living my happy ending.

  I was supposed to be protecting Khaos and I let him get hurt… again.

  I couldn’t talk to the police because I was going to handle this myself, once and for all. I was going to denounce myself and make sure if I went down so did Dove.

  I had never felt so angry in my life - not when the world abandoned me, not in the system when you have to get thick skin to survive, and not when Dove forced me to be blindly loyal. I was so angry every bone in my body was rattling and my stride was stiff.

  Punching in the gate number I had committed to memory, dumbasses didn’t even change it, I walked up the driveway like I still lived here even though since he had me tailing Khaos I became an estranged resident.

  I wanted blood.

  I tasted blood in my mouth that I was sure was mine, but it only fueled how much I wanted to hurt him for hurting Khaos.

  The SUV and his sports car were parked in the driveway when I let my hand press into the metal feeling if it was warm before I yanked the door open. Reaching under the seat I felt for the spare gun I knew Hamilton kept there. I was making use of watching people the way I always did and using it against Dove.

  Tugging on the barrel of the Glock, I checked the chamber for bullets, seeing the mixed metal glimmering back at me. I wanted to empty the round into Dove and pay the consequences later, become a felon, go on the run and do whatever it took to get Khaos off his radar.

  I would drink the poison if it meant he was safe.

  Charging my way to the door, Hamilton came from around the house, doing his perimeter check when his whistling came to a halt. “Little Bird? You can’t be here.”

  “Is Dove here?” The gun by my side, I felt the muzzle tap my thigh where my shorts left my legs exposed. My hands were shaking, I was covered in blood, my white shirt d
irty, the crown Khaos forced me to wear tangled in my messy hair, and the button on my shirt was still lighting up alerting everyone it was my birthday.

  His hands were stretched out, keeping me on one side of him, “You don’t want to do this… you got your out.” Hamilton didn’t know the strain I was feeling having just spent my birthday dragging my dying boyfriend to safety. It felt like flying too close to the sun and my wings were melting off before I could prepare to fall.

  Dove wouldn’t let me be dead.

  Dove wouldn’t leave the one piece of paradise I had when he planned to destroy my van.

  Dove wouldn’t even let me age without him confiscating my birthday.

  Holding my gun up with a shaky hand, all I bit out was, “Move, Hamilton.” If this didn’t end well then I was willing to pay the same way I always did because Khaos would never be a mistake.

  Pulling the door open, I felt all the muscle memory come back into the foreground, being his slave and good little gang girl, while he reaped all the benefits. He was sitting in the living room holding his glass of scotch with girls boxing him in, probably celebrating how much he didn’t just kill me but destroyed everything I left behind too.

  Clipped Wings or Clave - no one owned me anymore.

  I had wings no one could take away. They were permanent.

  I let his good time stop as I sat on the empty couch across from him. My hand was still shaking as I held onto the gun tightly between my legs with my elbows digging into my knees. His face fell, his celebration ending with just my presence made me feel powerful- a kind of power that I wanted to keep forever.

  “I’ve never met a dead girl. Coming to haunt me? Little late for el Día de los Muertos, puta.”

  The words didn’t sting, for once they bounced right off my body. I wasn’t going to let him hurt me anymore. When he stood up, I matched his actions, standing up too and not letting him dictate mine. I was moving on my own accord.

  “Not a dead girl - just apparently one you can’t kill. Shooting me, fucking with my van, what’s next, Dove? What is it going to take for you to leave him out of this?”

  He moved towards his office and I followed him, not letting him slip from my vision. Pouring himself some more liquor, he laughed in a lifeless way almost by mistake, “If I wanted you dead… you would be, Little Bird. If you want out just say the words.”

  The gun was still in my hand like an accessory I knew I wasn’t strong enough to use. Thick skin so calloused I could take his punishment, but the anger needed to bring him to an early grave? Apparently, that was a different kind of skin.

  My brows bent, I stared at him, analyzing the authenticity in his words. Nothing was that easy. “I want out,” my voice shook in unison with my shaky hands. Pinning me against the table I felt his body push up against me and my body cringed inward trying to leave space between us that he had swallowed whole.

  Dove’s hot breath hit my ear, but I forced my eyes to stay open, for me to stay aware and anticipate the pain, “You want out? That’ll cost you, Little Bird. It’ll cost your troublesome boyfriend.” His tongue licked up from my jaw to my temple while his hand ripped the gun from my shaking hand like he still owned me, controlled me, and there wasn’t anything I could do to break that bond.

  Not even what he was about to suggest.

  It didn’t matter what he asked for, how many times he fucked or beat me - nothing would be enough. There is never a way out and he just proved it.

  Giving me space, he lifted the gun and with a smirk on his face and I felt myself flinch, “You wanted to kill me with my gun? You want out? Kill your boyfriend and I'll leave you alone… his life for your freedom.”

  I felt my lip tremble and my full heart I was dragging around in my chest sink further down. My lips fell open and I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t even argue or plead my case, all I could do was tremble in the wake of his threats because my life wasn’t valuable.

  Only his was.

  Hamilton came into the room the second I felt Dove’s ring attack my lip and the sour taste of blood hit my tongue as I licked my own wound. “Boss?”

  Keeping my eyes low I forced myself to not look at the only person in the room who had feelings, ones that weren’t twisted up in outcomes. Dove turned his attention on Hamilton looming in the doorway when he smeared his own finger down his jawline, “I’m going to need you to do what Little Bird refuses to. She needs a reminder that family is forever…” I heard a high pitch ring clog my ears and I could feel my heart tremble along with me when Dove continued speaking in front of me knowing I couldn’t speak up. “Kill that little shit, Death Wish. I don’t care how, just make sure he’s dead.”

  You come from nothing, they offer you freedom but give you chains, they beat you down and make you want nothing but their twisted kind of love.

  Gang mentality.

  Too bad I’m cult now.

  ETHAN

  My heart dropped when Vic stood in front of my desk delivering the bad news that my boss was in a car accident.

  Khaos doesn’t drive… That’s when the shiver worked its way around my spine and dissolved my ability to be a blank canvas in front of everyone except Khaos. He must have been driving her van.

  The same van that I loosened the lugnuts on in case she didn’t stop being a problem.

  I tried to keep a smooth demeanor plastered to my face when I offered to check in on him for Vic. I needed an excuse to visit him and be there the way no one else would.

  I thought I saw her die when I was hiding in the bushes and watched some guy pull the trigger on the gun wedged between them.

  I thought the lugnuts I loosened would end up just being a wasted effort and now they hurt the one person I was protecting.

  Clearly, she was still a problem that needed to be handled...

  KHAOS

  Drugs are a lot different than going under. Drugs, pain pills, and pot give you a sense of relaxation when anesthesia drops you into a blank part of your mind just to see what kind of madness will find you.

  I went under exactly once and I relived my prom over and over again, each time slightly different. None of the times could I save my high school girlfriend from certain death.

  She made love hurt.

  I made it something she couldn’t survive.

  This time I was dragged under with no option and no one listening when I was one foot in the living and one foot in my own grave. I was trying to keep my eyes open, shouting against the oxygen mask, fighting to sit up when my favorite nurse gave me a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry, sweetie. It’s the only way.”

  With a hard swallow I felt the heaviness of sleep collapse onto me and I faded out into that dark place where my animal enjoys ripping my sanity to shreds. That’s when I heard Genevieve's voice in the dark, “You know something’s wrong… it’s been eating at you. You really think she’s permanent with those cute little wings you gave her?”

  I felt cold all over, a kind of chill I couldn’t shake, and a sharp pain in my chest that made me grimace against nothing. I wanted to not be here, not trapped in my own memories and dark thoughts I had covered up with a smirk that made panties drop.

  “You really think a girl from nothing fell for the charms of you and not everything you have?” Genevieve was a cold-hearted bitch even when she pretended to love me, so the attitude postmortem wasn’t a shock.

  Shivering and holding my arms against myself I whimpered, “You don’t know her like I do. She’s more real than your fake tits and nose.”

  I clamped my eyes shut, they were too heavy to open, when I could smell the perfume she was never without. A hint of apples, sass, and woods that I used to find intoxicating.

  Her fake fingernails dragged along my forearm when I flinched away from her and her lips whispered in my ear, “What else could be wrong in your perfect relationship? You know she’s hiding something, Krosby. Face it, you’re cursed, doomed to only be surrounded by the people who will eat you alive.”

 
; Her tongue swiped over the shell of my ear when the entire room spun on its side, all turning red and I sunk down into the new space my mind had never unlocked. Normally everything was black and white, but this was vividly red.

  Pure fucking chaos.

  I bit back the urge to scream and cry when I saw Grace sitting in a chair crying in a beautiful way I had never seen. She was always too strong to need, want, cry - be anything but strong.

  Through the mess of tears, she choked around the trails of moisture rolling into her chapped lips, “I did it for us. I needed to make sure you were safe.”

  I walked towards her, but it didn’t matter how many steps I took when she just got further and further away. I was never going to reach her. I was forced to watch her cry and not be there with her when she chose to be weak.

  Two loves.

  Two vastly different outcomes.

  Both too slippery to hold onto.

  Everything faded and all I hoped was that the insanity in my mind only left me with a tacky grip when I woke up.

  Waking up from anesthesia also sucks ass. The clear lines between reality, dreams, and your subconscious all blur which is probably why people get brave with their tongue.

  When I woke up, I was hoping to see Grace so I would know if she was okay, but the room was dark with no occupants. I could feel a presence though, it was heavy and dark as my eyes darted across the shadows trying to spy a human form when Ethan’s voice rang clear.

  “I didn’t want to do this… I thought the leech was gone,” he set down a folder on the tray table at the end of the bed.

  Everything felt like I had been hit by an eighteen-wheeler truck when I used all the energy I had to sit up. Looking down, I saw the bandage down the center of my chest when I felt Mayhem speed up.

  Thank god that still worked.

  “Where’s Grace?” Reaching a hand down the blanket I made sure Anchary was still attached too.

  As much as these organs were mine, they were stamped with Grace’s fingerprints now.

 

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