Until We Say Goodbye

by Jane Drager

  Since he chose the stairwell instead of the elevator, then he was obviously in a big hurry to leave. The thought totally devastated her psyche and created a jumble of mixed feelings, none good. Embarrassment. Regret. Confusion. Surprisingly, no anger surfaced. He was the smarter one by keeping their friendship status quo, and she felt like a fool for blurting the offer. With a whole month to fight his strange pull, maybe she should think twice about any future dinner or lunch invitations. Truthfully, all she had to do was remind herself about his fast exit down the fire escape. With a heavy sigh, she closed and bolted the door.

  His musk cologne collided with the scent of the forest. She sucked in a large breath and smiled. Deems might have rejected her, but for the first time in months, a man had awakened the woman within, despite her fiancé leaving her devoid of emotions. Her heart had come alive and was ready to love again. Maybe not with Deems, but he opened the door to her heart. She would let in love, and she had Deems Lambert to thank.

  The doorbell rang. Since she stood halfway to the sunroom, she snapped her gaze toward the door. Carol Stewart had left specific instructions, and one was how security called first to allow a visitor to the floor.

  Peeking through the peephole, she immediately jerked backward.

  Deems stood on the other side.

  Elation and puzzlement conflicted, and, heart thundering, she threw open the door, fighting desperately to remain neutral. She cocked her head. “Forget something?” His tie was off with his silk shirt partially unbuttoned. Even his hair was slightly mussed. Brows high, she stepped back. “Have you been running?”

  “Good guess.” A brief smile touched his lips, and he crossed the threshold. “I rushed out for something, but before I tell you what, I need to modify our friendship agreement.” He closed the door.

  Backing away, she put distance between them. Why, she wasn’t sure. Perhaps because he might touch her, and she’d melt into a puddle. The look in his eyes had her mesmerized. His gaze glowed with something so intense, he caused her heart to somersault.

  He stopped, a brow cocked. “Are you afraid of me?”

  “No—yes!” Afraid of him being the perfect man, and she’d have to say goodbye. “Deems, I—”

  His long arm reached to press a finger against her lips. She still moved away, even though she wanted to throw herself into his arms. Maybe the wine deteriorated her brain cells, because she sure as hell couldn’t understand her own actions. Her thighs hit the sofa arm, and she caught herself before falling over.

  Stepping close, he gave her a one-eyed glare. “You want to know something, Lauren? After all our time together tonight, you never once told me to take off my tie. How come?”

  Staring, she gaped.

  “I’ll tell you why.” He pointed a finger in her face. “You considered the removal of my tie as an act of undress. You couldn’t have that, could you?”

  Heart thundering, she slapped her mouth shut. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Oh?” He backed off, a smile curling his lips. “You hung onto me in the park and even on the way to the market, yet here, you avoided touching me like I had the plague. Why?”

  Do I dare admit the reason? My God, the air crackled with sensuality. She wanted him so badly, yet fought like mad not to reach out and touch him. She swallowed hard. “What do you mean modify our friendship agreement?”

  His smile disappeared, and he slid his gaze up and down her body. “You know damn well what I mean.”

  Yes, she did, and her heart rate skyrocketed. She sucked in a large breath. “I can’t touch you, Deems. I…won’t stop.”

  He smirked. “Precisely what I thought.”

  Locking onto her gaze, he removed his suit jacket and tossed the garment onto a side chair. Then, he removed his watch and slipped the timepiece onto the end table. Slowly, with his gaze still locked onto hers, he unfastened the cuff links on his shirt sleeves and placed those on the end table, as well.

  His casual little strip-tease activated a flood of moisture between her legs, and she couldn’t recall the last time a man aroused her so quickly. Hell, she wanted this man and everything he had to offer. Yet, the yearning both frightened and thrilled her. Her brain said to run, but her heart said grab him and never let go.

  He smiled. “You asked me to stay, Lauren. Did I misinterpret?”

  Eyes wide, she shook her head, unable to form words.

  With an outstretched finger, he poked her shoulder. His easy push knocked her over the sofa arm. She landed on the cushions and stared upward, totally tongue-tied.

  Placing his hands on his knees, he bent over. “You can tell me to leave, and I will, but I understand your dilemma. You don’t want to get involved, because you won’t stay in New York. I, of course, won’t leave since my life centers around this big city. So, we have a relationship going nowhere. Yet—” He settled alongside, nudging her closer to the sofa back. “We are attracted to each other in the worst way. You can’t deny this pull we have, and if you do, then your ex has destroyed your ability to trust your own feelings.” With one finger, he stroked her cheek, his smile gentle. “Trust them now, Lauren.”

  The man was a psychic, reading her heart and soul as if they displayed like a neon sign. She wanted Deems more than she cared to admit, but she wasn’t sure if her feelings were the result of loneliness or Jo-Jo’s crushing abandonment. Chest heaving, she licked her lips. “You deserve better than me, Deems.”

  His brow arched. “I can think of no one better than you, Lauren Howell.” He lifted the hair away from her face and smiled. “I ran out for condoms.”

  With one hand on the sofa back and the other on the cushion above her head, he leaned close to her face. “I want you, Lauren, and I want you until we say goodbye.”

  Oh, my God, how can I refuse? His dark gaze exploded with heat, and the intensity seared straight to her core. He had her so turned on, even a cold shower in a freezer wouldn’t suffice.

  He brushed his lips across hers then lifted his head, his gaze searching her face.

  Does he expect me to respond? How can I when I can’t even breathe?

  Again, he brushed his lips across hers and repeated the search of her face. “Do you want me, Lauren?”

  What a question! “You know I do.” She placed both palms on his chest. “But I don’t know if I can withstand another broken heart.”

  Resisting her hands, he leaned over with his hot breath close to her lips. “Maybe I can convince you to stay.”

  “And maybe I can convince you to come home with me.” She slipped both arms around his neck. “But are we wise to start something we might not finish?”

  “We’re not wise at all.” He kissed her right ear. “But I want to be more than your friend.” He kissed her left ear. “Not a day goes by without me thinking of you, and I’m willing to endure the pain of separation if you allow me to love you while you’re here.” His lips slid to her neck.

  She shuddered from the moist heat of his mouth. The man stood in a league of his own and beyond any man she’d ever met, including her ex. From the moment she’d walked into Jan’s kitchen and shook his hand, she experienced something so foreign, so unbelievably fierce, the sensation startled her. Over time, his presence threw her mind and heart into turmoil, and nights of mental analysis proved nothing. She questioned her sanity and blamed all her confusion on a hormonal imbalance.

  Now, with her body anticipating the intimacy denied for so long, she again questioned her wisdom. Her heart hammered against her rib cage as she relished the feel of his lips against her throat. Even though his hands hadn’t moved from the sofa cushions, her skin tingled with a hyper-awareness of the man hovering. Any other man, she’d hesitate to give her heart, but she trusted Deems, and that bit of insight surprised her more than anything. Taking his cheeks into her hands, she lowered his mouth to hers.

  Without wasting a second, he slipped his arms beneath her and lifted her close to his chest. His lips, hot and moist, s
uckled with a gentleness until his arms tightened, and he deepened the kiss. Tiny atoms exploded throughout her body, awakening a part of her she swore died with her fiancé. She melted into his strong arms, and her thoughts shattered as she relished the sensations of a core coming alive. Hell, the man felt so damn right.

  He stood with her cradled in his arms. “Which bedroom?”

  His voice had a husky need. A turn-on, for sure. She kissed his ear. “Last one at the end of the hall. My luggage is still on the bed.” Not like luggage would squelch their mood. Hell, the place was immaculate, and they could easily have sex on the rug.

  Once in the bedroom, he kicked her suitcase and backpack to the floor, lowered her to the bed, and then zeroed in for another long kiss. He wasn’t a man in a hurry. He suckled and tasted down the length of her neck to the V in her T-shirt, brushing feather kisses across her chest while biting the material covering her skin.

  He stopped to gaze into her eyes. “I don’t think you realize how beautiful you are, Lauren. I’m sorry I hadn’t visited Jan earlier.”

  Muffling her reply, he crushed his lips to hers, forcing her mouth apart to thrust his tongue deep. Heat surrounded them, like a furnace on high, and if she sensed a brief loosening of his arms, she’d strip herself naked to allow some cool air to hit her skin.

  Her fingers ached to touch more than the outline of muscles through his silk shirt. Unable to contain herself any longer, she pushed on his chest. His head popped up with a cocked brow, his gaze clouded with passion. She hurriedly unbuttoned his shirt and yanked apart the edges to expose his chest. A little chest hair greeted her, several rippled abs, and two muscular breasts. As easy on the eyes as the fingers.

  While pinching her T-shirt, he grinned. “My turn.”

  Before her next breath, her shirt was off, bra unsnapped, and his mouth traveled straight to her breasts, biting the protruding nipples to release a waterfall in her pants. “Oh—damn!” She sucked in a long, shuddering breath and became lost in the skill of his tongue. If she wasn’t careful, she’d come before her jeans were off. Gripping his shirt collar, she groaned.

  He lifted his head. “Time?”

  The man wasn’t an idiot. He had her so incredibly turned-on she could hardly breath.

  He unsnapped her jeans and lowered the zipper then stopped to tickle her belly button.

  “Oh—shit!” She nearly jumped halfway off the bed.

  “My, my, you certainly are sensitive.” He slid her jeans and panties down her legs then tossed them to the floor. Standing, he reached into his pants pocket and, with a big smile, dangled a long string of condom packets.

  Cocking a brow, she shot him a wry grin. “You plan on staying a while?”

  “Until you throw me out.”

  “Ha! Not until the harvest moon, big guy.” She might even tie him to the bed. From the puzzled expression on his face, she laughed. “The harvest moon is in September.”

  Grinning, he removed his clothes and stood naked before her, his erection waiting.

  Oh, my God. The man was beautiful. Broad shoulders tapered to slim hips with subtle muscles on chest, arms, and legs. He obviously worked out but not to the extent where his body rippled like Adonis. Mouth bone dry, she swallowed hard. “I’m serving apple pancakes in the morning.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  If ever a man had doubts about his ability in bed, he needed a woman like Lauren to stoke his ego to unimaginable heights. After his last fiasco affair, Deems swore off women, fully believing he’d never find a suitable mate. Most of his women were city-bred, the majority from New York, and accustomed to the high-life of fine wine and dining. Obviously, he looked in all the wrong directions. Who’d believe he’d fall for a country girl as gorgeous as Lauren Howell?

  Heart full, he looked at the beauty cuddled under his arm and tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear. They’d gone three rounds so far and each more powerful than the last. She gave without inhibition and made sex fun again. Every kiss from her luscious lips drove him crazy, and he performed for this woman like no other. Never in his life had he such a wonderful night, and the ‘L’ word tittered on the tip of his tongue. Of course, caution squelched any verbal expression. He knew damn well she felt the same. Every kiss and touch told him so, but she had been through too much. Her life was in turmoil, and if he could ease her mind for a little while, then he’d pat himself on the shoulder.

  With his fingertips, he stroked her bare back, and she stirred, her long hair tickling the skin on his chest. She had a beautiful body, proportioned at chest and hips with flawless skin, and a build with strength. A woman used to hard work. Yet, she was soft as fleece.

  From the moment Lauren opened the door to Jan’s apartment, she had floored him with her unbridled allure. Her voice—hell, even the air she breathed—captivated him. Because of Jan’s comment about Lauren’s fiancé, he put on the brakes and followed Lauren’s lead. But how could he possibly endure their simple friendship when her stunning beauty was impossible to ignore? Without debate, she had become the one to marry…except she hated New York.

  His universe. The city with the most expensive real estate in the world. He couldn’t possibly leave, and why would he? The hub of his business centered in Manhattan. Once Lauren caught a glimpse of how comfortable her lifestyle would be, she’d never need to work again.

  Lauren walked her fingers across his chest. “What are you so reflective about? Having second thoughts about us?” She stifled a yawn.

  Rotating his head, he met her sleepy gaze. Her cheek rested on his shoulder, and she had the glow of a sated woman. Looking at her turned his heart to mush. He smiled. “No second thoughts, Lauren, but I am thinking about you, me, this bed, and our wonderful night. Need I go on?” He should have her in his bed and in his condo, but not yet.

  She kissed his nipple. “Thank you.”

  One brow arched. “For what?”

  “For allowing my confidence to return. My ex shattered me to pieces, you know.”

  “The man’s a fool, Lauren. Whatever prompted him to disappear must have been a humdinger.”

  She lowered the sheet to toy with his belly button. In doing so, she also exposed more of her strong back.

  He slipped his hand under the sheet to rub her pretty butt.

  “I think I may have the answer for Jo-Jo’s disappearance.” She kissed his ribs. “The other day, my mother called. Two FBI agents stopped by the farm to question me. Apparently, Jo-Jo embezzled a hundred grand from the car dealership.” She rotated her head to meet his gaze. “He was also the bookkeeper and had easy access to the money. The auditors found a series of withdrawals, all cash.” She returned her attention to his navel. “One of the agents called me, but I couldn’t tell her anything. I haven’t the foggiest idea where he went.” Her hand slipped under the sheet and caressed his penis.

  Her touch was hot enough to scorch, and he hardened within her palm.

  “My ex fell off the face of the earth, Deems. No one has a clue as to his whereabouts.”

  Was she aware of what her hand did to his body? Dear Lord, her fingers were magic. And of all things, they conversed as if they lounged at the kitchen table with coffee.

  She looked up with a smile curling one corner of her mouth. “Did you really run out for condoms?”

  Somehow, he found his voice. “I wasn’t carrying, Lauren.” He shot her a one-eyed glare. “Please don’t tell me you had a purse full.”

  With a faint smile, she returned her head to his shoulder. “Not a one. I hadn’t planned on any sexual activity while in New York.” Her fingers glided over the tip of his penis.

  Holy damn! This woman completely stole his breath. He shuddered.

  “You’ve made my New York visit very memorable, Mr. Lambert.”

  If she asked him to be her slave, he’d bow and readily agree, especially if she continued her fondling during every conversation. He kissed her hair. “I’d like to convince you to stay.”

  Green ey
es wide, she propped herself onto an elbow. “You mentioned that earlier. Are you serious?”

  “Never more so than now.” He nudged her shoulder. “New York is a mecca for art. You can profit from the location.” Her fingers traced along the muscles on his chest with her touch so erotic, the sensation intensified his erection. His heart nearly beat out of his chest. She had to hear the thumps against his rib cage. But when her gaze met his, she gave no indication of noticing anything. She was a man’s sinful fantasy.

  She shifted on her elbow. “I have no aspirations to become a well-known artist, Deems. I do art because I enjoy every aspect, and the work helps put food on the table. Otherwise, my career is teaching.”

  “You mentioned you wanted your own studio.”

  “More for a hobby if and when I marry and have children. I’d love to have a studio big enough for a class. Like Antonio, who teaches only six students a year. That kind of schedule would be a lot of fun. A summer recess class, for example. Now—” She gripped his shaft and grinned. “I realize what effect I’ve had, so do you want to fool around one more time before we turn in for the night? I don’t know about your work schedule, but I have a class in the morning.”

  Swallowing hard, he desperately fought the urge to enter her without any intention of foreplay. “How about I walk you so you won’t lose yourself along the way? Newcomers have a tendency to become disorientated in a big city.”

  She kissed his cheek, lingering long enough to brush her breast against his chest. “I’d like that.”

  He rolled her onto her back while glancing at the clock on the nightstand. “The time is only one in the morning, and I still have some condoms left.”

  Her gaze twinkled. “You want me to fall asleep in Antonio’s class?”

  He kissed the mound of her breast. “I’ll make coffee strong enough to curl your hair.”

  ****

  As promised, Lauren prepared the apple pancakes for breakfast and even concocted her own syrup using butter, vanilla, and sugar. He never tasted anything so delicious. And as promised, he made the coffee and waited for her reaction. She looked so cute all puckered up.