Not Myself: Poetry From the Other Side of Me
Page 2
They can’t hear me, stuck inside here.
They don’t know.
It’s hopeless.
Why me? Why am I stuck here? Why now?
I just want to be free.
Free to run, laugh, cry, free to speak, to be.
Again.
I can’t even get these feelings out.
Set them free, forget!
It’s really crowded in here.
I hate crowds.
Let me out!
Nobody knows, no one can hear.
The twilight zone between my ears.
Not Myself
Don’t know what happened
Woke up one day
Not myself
Didn’t take a different form
Still my body
Just not me
Inside I felt all wrong
Didn’t talk or act
Normally
Realized I missed you
You made me hollow
Deep inside
I wasn’t worried or scared
You’re still my friend
In my heart
But I didn’t smile
Or enjoy life
Without you
I wish you’d come back
Make it all right
Don’t know when
So I can feel happiness
Experience joy
Have some peace
Giving Up and Letting Go
My little sister is growing up
And she is beginning to venture
Exploring life in her little world
Sure to find great adventure
Being the older, I'm overprotective
Being the younger is hard
It's like she's got two mothers to obey
Both of us have up our guard
But that's a mother's place not mine
I have to let her go
She's so much like me in my ways
I don't want her to be just so
I protect her from my flaws
I want her to excel
I push for her to understand
But she's younger, and can't tell
I'm just trying to help her
But I've got to step back
She'll fly on her own wings
Carry her own burdens on her back
How else will she be independent?
How else will she find the right path?
For I can't help her, but give advice
And advice is what she hath
How will she use it?
Will it help her to succeed?
I've got my own trials and burdens
I can't give to all her needs
So I'm giving up and letting go
The bird will touch the sky
She just may need no push at all
To spread her wings and fly.
Little Brother
Curious, sky blue, observers of the world
Dotted in the center with ebony spheres
Sometimes hold a shining light
And sometimes hold a sparkling tear
Tan leather big-bowed boots
Tread crammed with dirt and rocks
From countless hours of imaginative indulgence
Amidst all of the taken-for-granted things in nature
Freedom, enjoyment, ecstasy, crouching low in a hole
Amidst orange and black, dust covered, pastic construction toys
Dust covered himself and paying no mind
To the distractions nature provides.
Enraptured in play, constantly moving
Roughly textured, black, and bent
The thin limb from a tree, gripped in his hands
Holds and unseen purpose
Added to his motion, a centrepidal pole around which he rotates.
Enraptured with the tracks left in the dirt by toys
he watches the dust settle and his city develop
His machines lay foundations deeper than the eye can see
Where no knowledge will ever enter to discover
The base of all his reasoning
The sun shines calmly,
The breeze blows leaves across the yard.
Fallen leaves lifted by breaths of air
Seem to carry with them dreams to the clouds.
The Place Between Asleep and Awake
In the darkness I dreamed of you
Your presence upon my shoulders like a mantle
Comforting and warm, sitting near
When I woke you were not there
The loss of the soft friendship shawl
Left cold in the depths of my soul
I wondered what you were doing this day
Were you sleeping in, head buried under the covers
Or were you waking and stumbling like me
In the mirror I saw a blurry scene
Like drowning in a pool of smoke and ashes
The me reflected felt unworthy of your love
So I brushed the dreams away
Washed them down the drain with my shampoo bubbles
But I couldn’t help thinking of you all day
Would your real presence be like my dream?
Your voice as smooth and your eyes as full of me?
Life is only perfect in the early morning quiet
Missed Opportunity
There he stood
On the verandah
Looking for his date
There she stood
In the parlor
Nervously scouring the place
His best friend
Comes out to chat
Invites him to a game
She nods and greets
Looks about the scene
Thinks he's not in this space
Deep bass booms, but not his heart
As he glances back
He missed his chance
She is with another guy
She takes the arm
The two begin to dance
Heartbroken, he loses the game
Prepares to leave
The dark sky brings rain
She sways and sighs
This is not the guy
For her love, her eyes strain
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Writing Blog: https://moonlitnotesbyelsha.blogspot.com/
Personal Blog: https://wellintentionedindecision.blogspot.com/
Happiness Journal: https://dailyspoonfulsofsugar.wordpress.com/