Chaotic Anger: The Seven MC Book 1

by Breck, A. R.

  Santiago spits on him.

  Then he turns to me, fury heating his gaze. Holding out his hand, he barks, “Enough. Come on, Ivy.”

  I go to climb the tree again. “No. Please. Just let me go.” I cry out.

  Santiago grabs onto the length of my hair and pulls me off the tree. I land on my ass, a chunk of hair ripping out in the process.

  I scream.

  “¿Qué le has hecho a tu cabello? Qué desastre has hecho de las cosas. Tendrás suerte si podrás sentarte el resto del mes una vez que termine contigo.” What have you done to your hair? What a mess you have made of things. You will be lucky if you will be able to sit for the rest of the month once I'm done with you.

  He lifts me up by the arm and starts pulling me towards the house. I arch out of his hold and scream at the top of my lungs. “Stop! Someone help me!”

  Santiago slaps me across the face, and I can instantly taste the tangy flavor of blood on my tongue.

  “Speak out of turn again and I will rip your tongue out of your mouth.” He growls in my face.

  We reach the terrace when I’m slammed on the ground. Aziel pulls me up and shoves me into the grass. “Go!” He shouts.

  Santiago lifts himself off the ground, wiping down his pants and chuckling. “Fucking bastard gringo.” He sneers, rushing Aziel. They tumble to the ground inside of the house, and I let out an involuntary scream.

  Aziel knees Santiago in the face. Lifting himself up, he shuts the glass doors, locking himself inside and keeping me out.

  “What are you doing?” I scream, pounding on the door. “Let me in! Or come out! Let’s make a break for it!” I cry.

  “Ivy, run. Please go. I’ll catch up with you.”

  I cry, shaking my head. I can’t go without him. I’ll never make it. And I don’t trust that this isn’t a trap for Aziel.

  “Ivy!” Aziel roars, kicking Santiago in the side to keep him down. “Go! Right now! Run!”

  I look behind me and get ready to run when Aziel calls my name.

  “Wait!” A worried look enters his gaze that I’ve never seen before. It settles an uneasy liquid in my gut, one that makes me want to fall to my knees and expel the little food I had earlier.

  “I’m glad I rescued you that day. I’m glad you were crawling through the destruction and looked up at me with your big blue eyes. I didn’t realize the emptiness in my life until you crashed into it. If all I get with you is a few moments, well, at least I had you at all.” He breathes through the glass, his breath fogging up with each word. I press my hand to the door, wanting to reach him. Wanting to reach his words and hold onto them for dear life.

  Something is so, very wrong.

  Santiago gets up, pulling him down and punching him so hard in the back of the head that I cringe. He looks over at me, a sadistic look on his face.

  I make a run for it. Pressing my heels into the ground, I burst into a sprint and rush as quick as possible. Then I run into a brick wall, flying backwards, and falling on my back. The wind knocks out of me, my breath flying from my lungs and out of my chest.

  When two figures fall over me, I let out a strangled scream that doesn’t make it out of my throat.

  “Ivy! It’s me, Jex!” Jex shouts.

  “Where is Aziel?” Charlie asks, worry painted across his features.

  I point towards the house, trying to get the words out but my breath won’t come back to me. I swallow down nothing, coughing on nothing until I gulp down a gigantic breath.

  “Inside! Please! Help him!”

  “Go!” Jex barks at Charlie. Charlie makes a run for the house, his feet barely touching the ground.

  Jex lifts me up like I weigh nothing, carrying me as he climbs the tree and jumps over the fence. Their SUV is parked on the other side, and West runs for it, opening the back door and tossing me inside.

  “You have to get him. You have to get Aziel!” I cry.

  Jex nods. “He’ll be okay. It’s Aziel. Charlie went to go get him.” He shuts the door and walks around to the driver’s side.

  “No!” I scream when Jex hops inside. “Something is wrong. I can feel it. Something is wrong!”

  Jex whips around, anger lining his face. “Ivy! Shut up!” I curl back into my seat. “I’m sorry, it’s just… calm down! Let him do what he’s trained to do. He’ll be fine!” He tears at his blonde locks, stress and worry overtaking him even though he won’t say a word about it.

  We both sit silently and wait. Wait and wait for someone, or something to come out of the building.

  Most of the people have left, I realize. Fled once the commotion started. A few remaining guests run out with worry and terror on their face, the guards nowhere to be seen.

  When a van starts pulling up the driveway, a van that looks like one of Santiago’s, dread cements me to my seat.

  “Oh God.” I cry.

  “Shh. Calm down.”

  “You have to go in there.” I plead.

  He shakes his head, even with the indecision all over his face. “No. My orders were to take care of you. I’ll wait for him… but I have to make sure you’re safe.”

  “Please.” I whisper to no one. Maybe myself. I wish this was a dream. A horrible nightmare that I could just wake up from. Wake up in Aziel’s arms back in his little cabin. Maybe back at the swing set at the clubhouse, where we’re all safe and protected behind the tall, solid walls.

  Two men step out, one holding a black bag in his hands as they walk towards the house. They look familiar, but I’m not quite sure what their names are.

  I crack open my door.

  “Ivy!” Jex whisper-shouts at me.

  “I’m not doing anything. I just want to hear what they’re saying.”

  One of them talks on the phone to someone. “Sí, el Jefe está asegurado. Los Siete deberían estar dentro de la casa. Sí, lo tengo. Dame un minuto. Se hará.” Yes, el Jefe is secured. The Seven should be inside the house. Yes, I have it. Give me one minute. It will be done.

  The blonde drains from my face, and my body cools. My veins stop pumping blood and I think my heart quits beating all together.

  “Jex.” I cry out.

  “What? What are they saying?”

  “They think Santiago is gone. And they think you guys are inside the house.”

  “Shit.” Jex says.

  “What do they have?” I whisper.

  The two men walk around the house, scoping inside of the windows. They must see what they are looking for, because one nods to the other who is holding the bag. The man holding the bag walks up to the front door and opens the bag. Grabbing some sort of box from the bag, he tosses it into the house.

  “Shit. Shit, shit, shit.” Jex says, turning on the SUV and shifting into reverse. “Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. No, no, no.”

  “What? What is it?” Jex’s panic flows into me and I can hear my heart beating in my ears. I can barely breathe or hear as my pulse takes over everything inside of me.

  “A bomb. They have a fucking bomb.” Jex panics.

  “A what?” A shriek. “Aziel and Charlie are in there!” I scream.

  “I know. I fucking know!” Jex roars.

  The two men notice our car and take out guns from the back of their pants and aim it towards us. In the next second, the SUV is jerked into park. Jex rolls down his window and pulls a gun out of nowhere, putting a bullet in both men’s heads.

  “Holy shit.” I say in shock, staring at the two men on the ground, blood pouring from their heads at an alarming pace.

  “We have to get out of here.” Jex whips the SUV back into reverse and bolts down the driveway.

  Once we get to the bottom of the driveway and onto the street, the night sky lights up.

  Boom.

  The van rocks, tipping on two wheels and almost falling on its side. I slam against the side, my head slamming into the window and a scream flying out of me with the impact.

  When I fall back onto my seat, I scramble up and press my face against the windo
w. A huge yellow glow comes from the house. The windows are smashed open and much of the house is obliterated. What’s left of it is up in flames. Big, angry orange arms curl around the structure of the home, taking it for itself. Burning it till it’s nothing but ash.

  “No!” I howl, the word scraping from the deepest part of my vocal cords. The word rips through my chest, splitting me wide open to bleed out everything left in me. “No!” I sob.

  “Fuck.” Jex curses, turning the SUV around. When he starts driving away from the destruction behind us, I start screaming.

  “Where are you going? We have to go get him?” I cry.

  “We can’t! They are dead, Ivy! They’re all dead! I need to get you home.” His voice breaks off at the end, weary and tired. Sorrow and anger fill the cab of the SUV, so much so that it’s stifling, a claustrophobia that makes it hard to breathe.

  I lay my head down on the seat, overwhelming sobs tearing from the deepest part of my chest until my throat is raw. The copper taste of blood tints my mouth when my sobs become too much.

  This man risked his life for me on many occasions. He fought for me when he had no loyalty towards me. He brought me in his home, his safe place, with not even a name. He nursed me from what I was to what I now am. He brought me back to life. Now it’s too late.

  He’s gone.

  They are all gone.

  My love never stood a chance.

  22

  Ivy

  I wake up in my bed at the clubhouse. I have no sense of time. The blinds are closed, the bed is empty. No Lilah, no Aziel.

  The sheets are cool.

  My mind is so disoriented I can barely concentrate on one thought. I feel bone weary and exhausted, mentally, and physically. I’m dressed in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt.

  How did I get here?

  I try to recall my last memories. Everything seems like a pile of mush. A bag of chex-mix. No sense of order, just a fucking jumble of this and that.

  I curl back in bed, pulling the covers around my neck.

  I’m not sure why I feel so ill, but my mind is screaming at me to not investigate it further.

  * * *

  The next time I wake, I see the sun peeking through the curtains. I sit up in bed, rubbing at my forehead as a splitting headache refuses to subside. It clutches my eyes in a sharp ache, spreading to my temples and grips my head in a horrible throb.

  “Ugh.” I groan.

  What happened?

  I think back, remembering our trip to Mexico. Remembering our makeup and The Day of the Dead party where I ran into Santiago. My body clenches as I recall Santiago touching me. Hitting me.

  Aziel fighting Santiago.

  Boom.

  “Oh no.” I cry out, ripping the sheets off me and running out of the bedroom. I sprint down the stairs, finding everyone sitting at the bar, looks of mourning filling their eyes.

  Lilah sees me, jumping off the bar stool and running up to me.

  “Mommy!” She yells.

  I fall to my knees, wrapping my arms around her tiny body and locking her against me.

  “Lilah, I missed you so much. How are you, baby?” I choke the words out, tears clogging my voice.

  “I had so much fun! I played with Violet and Haley. But you sleep so long. Because you’re sad, Mom? Violet says Z went to go live with grandma and grandpa.”

  I press her face into my chest to hide the tears that can’t be tamed. They fall fast and heavy as I close my eyes and burrow my face on the top of her head. “I’m sad, Lilah.”

  I feel a hand on my shoulder and look up, seeing Violet’s red rimmed eyes staring down at me in sorrow.

  “Lilah, why don’t we let your mom get settled in and get some food in her belly, huh? Then maybe we can tell her about how much fun we’ve had the last couple days.” Violet says softly, squatting down to wrap her arms around the both of us.

  Lilah looks up at me, a frown on her face. She’s always been intuitive, reading my emotions like a book. Always the first to catch on when something is wrong. I can see in her eyes she doesn’t want to leave me, but she also wants to do what she’s told.

  “I’m fine, baby. I’ll come find you in a little bit.” The words squeak out, and I’m barely able to keep my emotions together as Lilah smiles at me and gives me one more hug.

  They walk off, out the front door and into the cool afternoon. It’s November, which means the mornings and evenings are cold, and it only gets to be mild during the day, depending. From the breeze that flies through the door when they open it, today is one of those cool days.

  Fitting. It shouldn’t be a nice day when there is such bad news in my heart.

  I look up at them. All of them. Each one is staring at me, besides Lynx. Lynx is nowhere to be seen.

  “Is he… did you find him?”

  Jex stands from of his chair and walks to me, helping me off the ground. “No, Ivy. It was too risky.” He pushes me into his vacant seat and hands me his drink. I take a swig, wincing through the heavy alcohol. “He’s gone. You saw it. I saw it. He’s gone, but you have to think about it this way… Santiago is gone too. It’s what Z wanted. It’s what he’s been fighting for.”

  I can barely hear his words as dread thickens my blood. My body feels swollen with sorrow and it hurts to even lift a finger. “It wasn’t worth it. His death… it’s not worth that monster’s death.”

  “No, it’s not. But you can’t fault him for what he did. He fought for his club. He fought for the girls. But mostly, he fought for you. Remember that. He went out a hero. Charlie too.” Pascal gruffs from the other end of the bar.

  I shake my head, heartbreak and grief splitting me in two. “Where is Lynx? And Haley?”

  “Lynx hasn’t left church. Haley’s been serving him drinks, but I think she’s tired of being his maid. He’s probably threatening her right about now.” West says.

  Maybe I should start drowning myself in alcohol. “This isn’t right. None of it is.” I finish off the rest of Jex’s drink.

  “Listen, Ivy,” West says, “I know how you’re feeling. I haven’t been able to eat or fucking sleep since we got home. I don’t want this to be real any more than you do. But it is, and we have to move on. You can live here, it’s what Aziel would want you to do. You’re family now.”

  I stare down at the bottom of the empty glass, willing it to fill to the rim. I want to drown myself in liquor and forget why my limbs feel so discombobulated. My toes start tingling with irritation, and as it flows through my veins, up my thighs and through my stomach. I realize this anger, this wrath I’m feeling, must be how Aziel felt much of the time.

  The glass in my hands flies across the room and explodes into thick, heavy shards before dropping to the floor in a pile of dust.

  “What the fuck?” Pascal shouts.

  I look down at my hand, and realize it was me who threw it across the room and against the wall. “I…I…” I push away from the bar top and slide off the stool, my bare feet slapping across the floor as I rush back to the solitude of my room.

  No, Aziel’s room.

  I ignore the calls for me to stop. To wait a second. I ignore it all, bursting back into Aziel’s room and sliding under the familiar covers, pulling them to my neck and burrowing back into the darkness.

  * * *

  Hours later, I wake up to pitch darkness. My headache is gone, but the weariness is not. My body screams exhaustion and to close my eyes again. Sink back into the nothingness and wait for this feeling to disappear.

  My head falls to the side, and I see my perfect Lilah. Sleeping on her side, her tiny hands folded beneath her cheek. Her tiny bow shaped lips bunched up in a pucker.

  “She’s worried about you, you know.” Comes a voice from the far end of the room.

  I startle, flipping over and slapping a hand to my mouth the muffle the squeak the breaks free.

  Violet sits in the corner of my room, legs crossed as she aimlessly scrolls through her phone.

  “
What are you doing here?” I whisper.

  “Worried about you. About both of you.” The light from her phones makes her face glow, and it creeps me out so much that I lean over and switch the lamp on.

  “I’m fine.” I slide up in bed, pressing my back against the wall. Lilah shifts, but otherwise doesn’t make a sound.

  She pockets her phone, looking at me for the first time. She looks a wreck herself. Her hair is pulled into a half bun, but chunks of hair have fallen out. Her clothes are wrinkled and worn, and her eyes are swollen and red-rimmed.

  “You don’t look too hot yourself, Violet.” I hedge, concerned. “I hope Lilah wasn’t too much for you. I’m sorry I’ve been so out of it.”

  She shakes her head, turning to gaze out the window. “It’s not Lilah. She was fine. Perfect, really. I’m just…” She sniffles, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. “Aziel was like my brother. A pain in the ass sometimes, but kind of the glue to this whole club. I’m going to miss him.”

  Tears flood my eyes, and I press the heel of my palms against my eyelids to stop the pain. My entire body feels swollen and drained from all the crying; I don’t think I have much more in me.

  “It was terrible, Violet.” I sigh.

  We sit there for a while, sniffling and thinking of memories. At least I am. Him rescuing me. Bringing me to his home. Accepting me and my flaws. Being exactly what Lilah needed.

  And now he’s gone.

  “You won’t leave here, will you?” I look over at Violet, confused at her question.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’ll stay? Let this be your home?” Her voice pleads. She wants me to stay, that much is clear. But can I? Can I stay here and feel at home? Feel comfortable with all of Aziel’s family and friends, but no Aziel?

  “I don’t know…” I run a hand down my face in exhaustion. I don’t know how many hours or days I’ve slept, but it doesn’t feel like nearly enough. My bones weep for rest.

  She rolls to her knees and crawls over to me. Grabbing onto my hand, she pleads, “Please, Ivy, don’t leave. This is the first time I’ve had a friend, like a girlfriend, or a sister, someone I like and can actually get along with. Can you please just think about it? Don’t leave. Stick around at least for a little while, please?”