Never Enough

by Elliott, Kelly

  From the corner of my eye, I watched Stella quickly wipe away a tear. I wasn’t sure if saying it to Blayze was the right thing. I didn’t want to confuse him, but at the same time, I did love him. I loved him like he was my own.

  “Will you do me a favor?” I asked Blayze as he settled onto my lap and stared out at the arena.

  “Sure!”

  “Call me Lincoln, not Miss Lincoln.”

  He didn’t bother to look at me when he replied, “When can I call you Mommy?”

  Stella and I both froze. My eyes widened, and I snapped my head over to her, my breathing suddenly increasing tenfold.

  What do I say? I mouthed to her.

  Doing what she did best, Stella cleared her throat and acted like Blayze’s question had been the most natural thing in the world. “When your daddy and Lincoln get married, or when your daddy tells you that you can call Lincoln Mommy.”

  I must have opened and closed my mouth ten times.

  “Catching flies with that thing?”

  Hearing her voice, I turned to see Kaylee standing there.

  “You weren’t hard to spot with that shirt, Lincoln.”

  I jumped up after sliding Blayze off my lap. “What in the world? How? When? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming so soon?”

  Kaylee shrugged. “Turns out, I have nothing back in Atlanta at all. I put my condo on the market, fully furnished, and told my folks to trash or get rid of everything else. Packed up my car Tuesday night and drove pretty much straight here.”

  “Kaylee, I’m so glad you’re here!” We hugged like we hadn’t seen each other in months, when in reality, it had only been a few days. “You must be exhausted!”

  With a half shrug, she sat down in the empty seat next to me. “I’m fine. I told Dirk I’d be here and to make sure there was an open seat next to you.”

  “I’m going to kill him for keeping this from me.”

  She giggled. “Why? It was sort of fun, pulling one over on you.”

  The announcer mentioned Dirk’s name, and we all focused on the arena.

  Blayze called out, “Get ’em, Uncle Dirk!”

  Kaylee yelled out her own good-luck message, which was about the same: “Give him hell, Dirk!”

  I glanced her way and laughed. Never in a million years had I thought my best friend would get into bull riding.

  The chute opened, and the bull came charging out, hell bent on getting Dirk off his back. He rode him like it was nothing. Everyone jumped up and cheered. Dirk turned, looked directly up at Blayze, and pointed to him. He took off his helmet and smiled and then looked behind us to his parents.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, we have the great honor of announcing our last bull rider of the evening. He’s currently ranked the number one bull rider in the world and a locally grown cowboy. Give it up for Brock Shaw!”

  The crowd went a bit crazy. My eyes were locked on the chute, where Brock was already on top of the bull. Ty was holding on to Brock by his vest while Tanner was pulling the bull rope tight. Ty Senior was on the other side of Tanner, telling his son something. I smiled. It was really a family affair. I snuck a peek at Stella. She was smiling, too, but I saw the same worry in her eyes that I knew had to be reflected on my own face.

  Swallowing hard, I focused back on Brock. They didn’t play any songs for the introduction like they did on the PBR tour. A regular rodeo was a low-key event.

  He hit his glove, making sure he had a good hold. He looked up, and I knew he was praying. Adjusting himself on the bull, he nodded, and the gate shot open.

  The bull’s name was Sweet Cupcake, but there wasn’t anything sweet about that giant beast. The snot shot from his nose, and he bucked as hard as he could. He went to the left, and then he changed it up and went right. I didn’t want to take my eyes off Brock to look at the clock.

  Then, the buzzer went off, and Brock reached down. The bull gave him another buck, and Brock was launched into the air. He landed and quickly got to his feet.

  I jumped up and started clapping and screaming like a silly girl. Brock did what he always did: he took his helmet off, threw it up in the air, and looked up into the stands. Our eyes met, and my stomach fluttered.

  From the corner of my eye, I saw a bullfighter running toward Brock.

  Brock turned to see what was happening. The bull had been heading back into the pen, but then it took a sharp right and headed straight for Brock.

  The bullfighter got between them, but the bull took both of them out. He tossed the bullfighter and chased Brock to the fence. Before he had a chance to jump on it and get away, the bull had lowered his head and gotten Brock in the back, hooking his horn on Brock’s vest.

  The last thing I remembered was Brock going up in the air—and then the bull running over him when he landed.

  I heard Stella screaming from beside me, and I grabbed Blayze. He was crying and calling out for his father.

  I stood there, motionless, as they finally got the bull away from Brock, and they carried him out on a stretcher. I hadn’t even noticed Stella taking Blayze from my arms and leaving.

  Kaylee’s arm was around my waist as we walked through crowds of people.

  “Ty!” she cried out when we finally got through the crowd.

  “They airlifted him to Billings.” His voice pulled me from my daze.

  “What?” I asked, staring into Ty’s eyes.

  Ty looked at Kaylee and then back to me. “Mama and Dad are already headed to the hospital.”

  “Blayze!” I cried out.

  “He’s with them.”

  I nodded. “We . . . we need to get to Billings.”

  Kaylee turned and guided me as we followed Ty.

  “Where are Dirk and Tanner?” I asked as I climbed into the back of Ty’s truck.

  “Tanner was taken to the hospital with Brock.”

  I gasped. “What? Why?”

  “Tanner ran out there, tried to get the bull away from Brock, and got kicked. He went in the helicopter too; they think he broke his ribs, but they need to make sure there’s no internal bleeding.”

  My hand covered my mouth. “Dirk?”

  “He went in the helicopter with Brock. They weren’t going to let him, but somehow, I don’t know how he did it, he got on.”

  I nodded. “Good, good. So he’s not alone.”

  Turning, I stared out the window as the night sky went by. All I could think about was Brock telling me he loved me. Most people would say it was way too soon to be sharing those words, but I knew in the depths of my soul that we both meant them. Then I thought about Brock telling me he’d had another dream in his heart.

  What was his dream? What is our dream together?

  “Can you pull over, Ty? I feel sick.”

  He pulled over, and I jumped out of the truck, rushing out before I vomited. My insides hurt as I threw up violently.

  “Brock . . .” I cried as I stood there afterward, my entire body trembling with fear before Ty gently guided me back to his truck.

  Kaylee got into the back with me, letting me bury my head in her chest and cry.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  LINCOLN

  “Lincoln.”

  I stirred and opened my eyes. Kaylee was looking down at me with a soft smile.

  “I thought you might want some coffee.”

  I stared at the cup in her hand, but just the sight of it made me feel nauseous. “No, I don’t want any.”

  She frowned. “Then, will you at least come with me to eat?”

  My eyes traveled past her to Brock. He was lying in a hospital bed, an IV dripping into one arm, a blood pressure monitor on the other. His face was bruised, and the cut above his eye showed where the doctors had stitched it shut.

  I swallowed hard. He was still unconscious as he lay there, machines beeping and oxygen being pumped into his body. My chin trembled as I thought back to the doctor and his laundry list of things wrong with Brock.

  A concussion. No bleeding in the bra
in, which was good. His major injury, besides the head, was a costochondral sprain. It was making breathing difficult for Brock, especially with him still being unconscious. He’d be out of the PBR for two months. Maybe three. Complete rest was ordered, which I was positive Stella and I would make sure happened.

  Also, he had a cut on his leg from the bull stepping on it. Forty stitches required for that one. The cut above his eye had only needed fourteen. Only. He had a black eye, and it looked like someone had beaten the hell out of him. That was the result of the bull throwing him in the air and Brock coming down and hitting his own helmet lying on the ground.

  “I’m not hungry,” I finally managed to say.

  “Lincoln, you have to eat to keep up your own energy. Do you want to help take care of him when he wakes up?”

  Tears filled my eyes. “Yes.”

  “Then, let’s go eat.”

  I nodded. “Give me a second, okay?”

  Kaylee sighed and then looked at Brock as she replied, “Two minutes, and then I’m dragging you out.”

  As I made my way over to the side of the bed, I took in a deep breath. I reached for Brock’s hand, lifted it to my lips, and kissed it.

  “Hey,” I whispered. “Please wake up. I really need you to wake up. I know the doctor said you were going to be okay, but if you could just wake up and tell me yourself, that would be great. I need to see your smile. Hear your voice. Feel you reach up and touch my cheek. Tell me you love me again, because I really need to tell you how much I love you, too, and know that you hear me.”

  My head dropped down, and I focused on not crying. I had to be strong for him, and standing here, begging him to wake up to comfort me, was not what Brock needed.

  Clearing my throat, I lifted my head. “So, while you’re lying here napping, I’ve been dealing with the drama that is Kaylee and your brother Ty. That’s been interesting. I’m not sure if they like each other or hate one another.” I chuckled. “It’s pretty entertaining, watching the two of them, though. And Blayze has been keeping me on my toes. That boy has more energy than the Energizer Bunny.”

  Pulling in another deep breath, I kept my voice steady.

  “Don’t even get me started on Tanner. He has three broken ribs. His career as a bullfighter was stripped from him before it even started. He’s a big baby too. I mean, he tries to act all cool, but when it’s just me and him, he whines. It’s sort of funny.”

  My eyes searched Brock’s face for something. Anything.

  I sighed and leaned over, gently kissing him on his bruised cheek. “I love you. I’m going to grab something to eat. I’ll be back.”

  The door to the room opened, and I shot Kaylee a dirty look. “I’m coming,” I said in a low, growling voice.

  After grabbing hospital cafeteria food, we sat at a table. Ty, Dirk, and another cowboy friend of theirs joined us. His name was Pitt. I thought I recognized him, and it finally hit me who he was.

  “You’re a bullfighter, right?” I asked.

  Pitt looked at me and grinned. “Yes, ma’am, I am.”

  “It’s sweet of you to be here.”

  He tipped his cowboy hat at me. His honey-brown eyes had specks of gold in them that caught the light more when he smiled. “Brock’s a real good friend of mine. Known him since he first came on tour with us. I came right when Dirk called me.”

  I smiled and noticed the wedding ring on his left hand. “Do you have any kids?”

  He seemed surprised at my question and then glanced down to his ring. “Nah. We’re separated. She doesn’t like all the traveling and says my job is insane.”

  I frowned. “Did she not know what you did for a living when y’all got married?”

  Pitt laughed, looked at Dirk and Ty, and nudged his thumb in my direction. “I like her. I see why Brock does too.”

  Kaylee sat pretty quietly next to me the entire meal. I picked at most of my food, not in the mood to eat, and when I stood, the room started to spin.

  “Whoa,” I said, reaching out for something to steady myself.

  “Lincoln!” Kaylee yelped, grabbing on to me right as I sank to the ground.

  And blackness took over completely.

  My eyes flew open, and I instantly panicked. Where am I?

  Sitting up, I glanced around to see Ty and Kaylee both in chairs, sleeping. My head was pounding, and I felt a little sick to my stomach.

  “Wh-what happened?” I mumbled, touching the side of my head with my hand.

  Ty and Kaylee both jumped up. They wore goofy smiles on their faces as they looked at each other and then back to me.

  “I’ll let the nurse know she’s up,” Ty said, squeezing Kaylee’s hand.

  Okay, am I dreaming, or did I just witness a kind gesture between the two of them? “I’m dreaming, right?”

  “No. Why?”

  “I swear I just saw Ty grab your hand.”

  Kaylee pulled the chair up next to me and sat down. “We called a truce.”

  “Good.”

  “So, I have something I need to tell you.”

  A feeling of dread swept over me. “Brock—”

  “Is fine!” she said, cutting me off. “He’s not awake yet, but he’s fine.”

  I let out a breath of air.

  “But I think you might have something to tell him that could possibly nudge him into waking up.”

  My brows lifted. “I do?”

  Her face broke out into a wide grin. The door opened, and Ty walked back in. Kaylee looked up at him and shook her head, causing him to come around and stand next to her. The two of them still wore the goofiest of smiles.

  “Have y’all been drinking?” I asked, my gaze bouncing between them.

  “No!” Kaylee said. “But we wanted to be the first to tell you, because I’m pretty damn sure you’re clueless!”

  Drawing my brows in tight, I said, “Huh? Okay, you know what? You two have fun with that. I need to get out of here.”

  Ty placed his hand on my shoulder as I started to get up. “The nurse is getting the doctor. He wants to take one last look at you, and then you’ll be able to go to Brock.”

  “They admitted me? For fainting?”

  Kaylee nodded and said, “They had to give you an IV and such because you were dehydrated. But who cares about that, Lincoln? We’ve got some pretty big news, so I need you to take a deep breath, slowly let it out, and hold on to your boots.”

  Ty leaned down so he was at the same eye level as Kaylee.

  “Holy hell, you two slept together!”

  They both frowned, looked at each other, and then back to me.

  “I wish,” Ty said.

  Kaylee slapped him on the chest. “No, that’s not it. Lincoln—you’re pregnant.”

  Ty and Kaylee both smiled. Big. So big that it was sort of creepy.

  I chuckled. “What?” Her words replayed in my head, but they were so ridiculous that I had to laugh.

  “You’re pregnant,” Ty repeated. “You’ve got a bun in the oven. You’re knocked up. There’s a bat in the cave. You’re in the family way. There’s a pea in the pod. You are preggo. Preggers. A baby Shaw is kicking around in there.”

  “Are you done?” Kaylee asked as I slowly sat straighter and stared at them. “Seriously, did you google all that in the last few hours?”

  Ty smirked. “You’re just jealous you couldn’t come up with any of it.”

  “What? I’m the one who said there was a bat in the cave! You took that from me!”

  Rolling his eyes, Ty said, “It’s my nephew.”

  “Well, it’s my niece.”

  “Not by blood.”

  I shook my head and buried my face in my hands. “Wait. What?” I mumbled as Ty and Kaylee went at it.

  But then the realization of what they’d said sank in.

  “Stop!” I nearly screamed, making them both turn my way to give me those creepy smiles again. “I can’t be pregnant! I’m on the pill, and Brock wore a condom each time. So there’s a mi
stake. We’ve only had sex . . . a few times!”

  Kaylee pulled in a breath and blew it out before she said, “I hate to break this news flash to you, but it only takes once. You’re pregnant. They drew blood, and it came back saying you were preggers. Now, I did have to lie and tell them I was your sister to get said information, but it was a lie I’m glad I told!”

  Ty grinned and said, “Kaylee and I figured you’re not that far along. Maybe a month, if that.”

  My mouth fell open as I stared at them both. Tears filled my eyes as I let their words really sink in.

  “But . . . how? I don’t understand.”

  Kaylee cleared her throat. “Well, the P goes into the V. Then the guy ejaculates in the woman.”

  “That’s the best part, really,” Ty added.

  Kaylee nodded and then continued, “Well, as long as the woman comes before he ejaculates.”

  “Right. A man ain’t a cowboy if he doesn’t take care of his lady first,” Ty stated.

  “You are so adorbs. Anyway, then the little sperm make their way to the egg. They have to be strong swimmers.”

  “Shaw swimmers are strong. Just sayin’,” Ty interjected.

  “Then, one of the buggers gets in, and bam, a baby is on its way.”

  With a groan of frustration, I closed my eyes. “I know how a baby is made! How did we make a baby with two different types of birth control?”

  “Okay, one part of that is easy to explain. Remember when you got sick right before we moved, and they put you on those antibiotics?”

  I nodded.

  “Yeah, well, some of those sort of work against the pill. I think you finished up the bottle right about when we got here. You and Brock hooked up about five days or so after your last pill, which meant your birth control pills were all jacked up.”

  “And if Brock used an old rubber—”

  “Ew. I hate that word. Say condom,” Kaylee said.

  Ty glared at her and went on. “If Brock used an old condom, it could have broken.”

  “I would have felt it. He would have noticed!”

  “Not really,” Ty and Kaylee both said at once.

  Taking my hand and kissing the back of it, Kaylee gushed, “Either way, kiddo, y’all are having a baby. I hope you kissed and made up.”