Say You Love Me

by Johanna Lindsey

  She sighed and nodded. The man was behaving exceedingly strangely, but it was nothing to her. Perhaps it wasn't strange at all and he was naturally skeptical about every little thing. Not that it mattered, when she doubted she'd be see-

  ing him again after today.

  He assisted her into the waiting carriage, and the moment his hand touched hers, she felt one of those disturbing re-

  actions again. But that wasn't why she frowned as he settled into the seat across from her. It was because the carriage was empty.

  She didn't put off asking. "Will we be picking up your friend Jeremy?" "Jeremy?ff

  His momentary confusion annoyed her, coming on top of her own confusion, but she repeated calmly, "Yes, Jeremy. Will we be picking him up this morning?"

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  "Whatever for?" he countered. "We hardly need his conlpany on the way to Bridgewater." And then he smiled, and she could have sworn his eyes were green again. "Besides, this is a perfect opportunity for us to become better acquainted, and I find I can't resist another moment finding out what you taste like."

  Before she realized what he was going to do, he was pulling her onto his lap. But she wasn't the least bit slow in reacting. Before he'd barely got his lips close to hers, she slapped him. He looked at her then as if she had gone crazy. She looked at him in a like manner.

  And then he was dumping her back on the seat across from him and saying, albeit quite stiffly, "I don't know if I'll be begging your pardon or not, Miss Langton. Considering the hole you put in my pocket yesterday for the exclusive use of your sweet self, I believe an explanation is in order. Or are you under the mistaken impression that I'm like those select few who frequent Lonny's place because they like their sex a little rough? I can assure you that isn't the case."

  Her mouth had dropped open at the same time her cheeks had flamed with color. He had bought her. Not Jeremy. And she'd just begun their relationship by slapping him. "I-I can explain," she said, feeling a bit sick to her stomach. "I do hope so, m'dear, because at the moment I'm about to demand my money back."

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  LSEY WAS FEELING RATHER SICK. SHE DIDN'T KNOW how to explain what she'd just done. And she didn't know how to explain it because she couldn't think clearly with Derek scowling at her. The only thing that was clear in her mind just then was that he'd bought her. Him. The one who disturbed her. The one out of the three she had hoped wouldn't be the one.

  And goodness, now she knew why she had hoped it wouldn't be him. He flustered her so much, she couldn't think. "I'm waiting, Miss Langton."

  For what? For what? Oh, yes, for why she'd slapped him. Think, you ninny! "You startled me," she said. "Startled?" "Yes, startled. I wasn't expecting you to attack me like that." "Attack you?"

  She cringed at the volume he was fast reaching. She was ,iaking a muck of explaining. How to make him understand

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  without admitting what an idiot she was. Why hadn't she asked immediately which one of them had bought her? She should have asked. Actually, she should have been told. But she never should have assumed. "A bad choice of words," she allowed. "But I'm not used to being yanked onto men's laps and-well, as I said, it startled me and-and I reacted before I thought. . . "

  She didn't finish. He was still scowling, and she'd run out of excuses. There was nothing for it but to own up to the truth of the matter. "Very well, if you must know, I didn't see which of you had bid on me. I only heard Lord Malory mentioned, and when Jeremy was called Lord Malory-" "Good God!" he exclaimed. "You thought my cousin Jeremy bought you?"

  His amazement showed. She was blushing as she nodded. "Even after you were brought to my home?" he wanted clarified.

  She nodded again, but added, "You said that was only temporary. I guessed that as young as Jeremy is, he might still be living with his parents, and so he must have asked

  you to see me settled for the night. Why else do you think I asked if we would be picking him up this morning?"

  At that point he confounded her by smiling. "Actually, dear girl, I was worried that you might have become smitten with the scamp. It wouldn't be the first time. He has that effect on the fairer sex despite his tender years." "Yes, he is unusually handsome," she agreed, then wished she hadn't commented at all. He stopped smiling. "I suppose you are disappointed now, to be stuck with me instead?"

  It was really unfortunate that he asked that question. The truth was written on her face before she took the lie in hand to try to assure him. "No, of course not."

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  It was immediately apparent by his skeptical expression that he didn't believe her, but she wasn't going to make matters worse by trying to explain. Jeremy had simply boggled her with his good looks, but this Malory stirred things up in

  her that she didn't understand. With Jeremy, she had sus-

  pected things would be quite simple. With this man, she didn't think anything would be simple. So certainly she would have prefered Jeremy, for the relationship she entered with him wouldn't have been all that complicated.

  When he said nothing, just continued to look doubtful, despite knowing she shouldn't, she got defensive and said stiffly, "I can assure you, Lord Malory, that I find you infinitely preferable to those other two gentlemen you outbid. However, I didn't realize that my preferences mattered in the least in your transaction. I wasn't asked if you will do. That option wasn't included in the bargain I made. Or did you want it to be?"

  Turning the tables on him made him smile, though the expression didn't quite reach his eyes. And his tone was on

  the dry side as he said, "Excellent point, m'dear. Perhaps we

  should start again. Come here, and I will endeavor to make you forget it isn't Jeremy sitting here. And you can endeavor to make me believe that you have forgotten."

  She stared at the hand he held out to her. She couldn't very well refuse it. But already her belly was starting to churn with those strange feelings, and when she actually put her hand in his, she almost gasped, the feeling leapt with such strong currents. "Much better," Derek said as he settled her back on his lap.

  Kelsey was positive her cheeks were burning in expectation of his kiss. But he didn't kiss her. He moved her a tad this way, and a little that way, then his arms settled around her and she heard him sigh.

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  "You can relax, mdear," he told her in a somewhat amused tone. "Rest your head wherever you like. I believe I'm just going to get used to holding you for a while."

  She hadn't expected that, but some of the stiffness went out of her upon hearing it. "I'm not too heavy?"

  He chuckled. "'Not a'tall." The carriage continued to rattle along the city streets, which were heavily congested at that time of the morning with delivery carts and wagons and so many people on their way to work. By the time they reached the outskirts of the city, Kelsey was feeling relaxed enough to finally rest her head against his chest. One of his hands came up to her head when she did, a thumb smoothing against her cheek, which she didn't mind in the least. The scent of him was so pleasant, clean and spicy, and she liked that too. 'How far is it to Bridgewater?" she thought to ask after a while. "Since we will be stopping for lunch along the way, most likely it will take all day." 'And what's in Bridgewater?" "I have a house in the country near there. Was due for a visit anyway, and there is a cottage nearby that I believe is empty, which you should be quite comfortable in for a week or two, until I can make arrangements for something for you in London." "I'm sure it will do nicely."

  They fell silent for the next hour. Kelsey was warm, and comfortable, and nearly falling asleep when she heard ... "Kelsey?" "Hmmm?" "Why did you put yourself up for sale like that?" "It was the only-"' she started, b
ut stopped abruptly, re-

  alizing that she'd been so relaxed and off guard that she'd nearly blurted out the truth. She quickly corrected that blun-

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  cler with, "That is to say, I'd rather not talk about it, if it's

  .11 the sanie to YOU." es met his looking down

  He tilted her chin up until her ey

  it her, They were most definitely green, and curious, and something else was there that she couldn't define. ,11111 accept that answer for now, love, but I can't say that I will next time I ask," he said gently.

  And then his head bent, and she felt the soft caress of his lips on hers, nothing threatening, nothing alarming, just the

  barest touch. She sighed in relief. This wasn't so bad, was

  certainly nothing to be frightened of.

  She'd had several young men courting her in Kettering, but none had ever dared to kiss her. Her mother's eagle eye was always upon them, as was proper. And for a first kiss, this was very nice indeed. She certainly couldn't see the harm

  in it, or why parents frowned on their daughters' participating in such sport.

  His thumb was still rubbing soothingly against her cheek. After a while, though, it moved to the corner of her mouth and tugged very slightly until her lips parted. Then she felt

  his tongue tracing a path over her lips first, widening them still more, then over her teeth, then beyond.

  This wasn't the least bit relaxing. In fact, her insides were

  suddenly rioting with sensations, but as it continued, she re-

  alized that they weren't unpleasant sensations, far from it,

  just like nothing she'd ever experienced before.

  She tried frantically to recall some of May's advice. Never lay there like a wet blanket, Caress him at every opportunity when you are alone, Make him think you want him constantly, whether You do or don't.

  Kelsey had no idea how to make Derek think she wanted him. But caressing him was a simple enough matter-if she could get her mind off what she was experiencing and onto what she ought to be doing. She brought her hand up to his

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  own cheek, spread her fingers up into his hair. Soft and co,,l it was compared with the heat from his mouth ...

  His mouth. It was working magic on hers, keeping her from concentrating on what she was doing. She was gripping his hair without realizing it. Her other hand was digging into his back, pulling at him, as if she could get him any closer to her, as close as he already was. And it was getting so hot she was feeling faint.

  And then his mouth left hers abruptly. Kelsey thought she heard a groan, but whether from her or him she wasn't the least bit sure.

  But before she could come out of her daze and get her eyes open, she heard him say in a strained tone, "Very well, I can

  see this wasn't such a good idea after all."

  She hadn't quite grasped his meaning. He was setting her back on the seat across from him, his hands leaving her rather quickly, so she assumed her sitting on him had something to do with it. She couldn't bring herself to look at him as she struggled to regain her composure and combat the blush that she just knew was staining her cheeks.

  When she did finally glance up, he didn't look too com-

  posed himself. He was loosening his cravat and fidgeting on

  his seat as if nails had suddenly poked through the velvet upholstery under him.

  And then he met her gray eyes and must have detected her confusion. He made an effort to explain, "When I make love to you, Kelsey, it will be in a decent bed, not bouncing around in discomfort in a carriage." "Were we about to make love?" "Yes, we most definitely were,"

  ill see." But she didn't see at all. They were still fully clothed. May had been rather derisive when she had explained that some men still made love to their wives in the dark and without

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  removing any of their nightclothes, but with a mistress, they would most definitely get naked.

  i(elsey supposed that she would just have to take Derek's

  vvord for it that, in their case, they had been about to make love. But she hoped all the advice and warnings she had received would make sense to her once she did make love. Right then it was all just very confusing.

  (THE

  Y STOPPED AT A RUSTIC INN IN NEWBURY FOR LUNCH. Derek had frequented the establishment many times since the property in Bridgewater had been turned over to him, enough to know the place was cleaner than most and the food excellent. More important, it offered a private diing room for those who didn't want to rub elbows with the locals; the room was expensive enough that only the gentry could afford its use. And not knowing Kelsey's habits yet, he preferred not to find out that she ate like a pig with the entire establishment watching.

  Her table manners proved impeccable, however. He'd never have to worry about being embarrassed on that count, if and when they dined with others of his acquaintance. And he saw no reason to keep her exclusively hidden once he moved her to London. There were, after all 'many places one could take one's mistress without worry of running into gently reared females who would be affronted by the presence of someone of Kelsey's class and profession.

  He had studied her for quite a while in the carriage while she pretended not to notice. She could have been a duke's

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  daughter, sitting there so rigidly proper, with such decorum, her clothes not the most expensive, yet still fit for any lady to travel in.

  Those clothes had surprised him when she'd come downstairs. He hadn't expected her to look so unlike a mistress, even if it was early in the morning. He was going to have to buy her some that were more appropriate, if that was the best she could come up with from that valise of hers.

  it was bloody well disconcerting, listening to her fine speech, too. Her diction was better than that of half the ton, who, like himself, tended to butcher a sentence down to the briefest thought.

  Bu It Kelsey by daylight was a revelation, much prettier than the night before, when she had been so stiff and wideeyed in her nervousness. Her complexion was flawless cream, making her blushes all the more telling. Her brows were thin and arched just enough to highlight her ovalshaped eyes, which were made even more prominent by some very thick black lashes outlining them. High cheekbones complimented a slim nose and delicate chin.

  Her black hair held a natural curl, so there was very little that needed to be done to it to make it quite stylish. She wore it now in a braid that wrapped about her head, the flyaway bangs and soft curls at her ears very becoming. And those eyes, softest gray they were, and so telling when they filled with innocence, or rancor, or simple confusion. He had to wonder how much of what he saw in them was actually true and how much was artful contrivance.

  He was finding her fascinating, no doubt about that. He had had the devil's own time falling asleep the night before because of her, for thinking about her being under the same roof, while she had slept like a baby. And that had annoyed hin' too. She hadn't laid awake, expecting a visit from him, because she hadn't realized she was in the house of the man

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  who'd bought her. She'd thought that man was Jeremy,

  Derek still didn't know what to make of his reaction to that. He barely knew the girl. Just because he owned her was no reason to be experiencing jealousy of any sort--at least not this soon. And over Jeremy?

  Granted, his scamp of a cousin had made no bones about wanting her for himself. And she had owned up to how handsome she'd found him. Of course, had she said otherwise, he would have known she was lying. All women found Jeremy exceptionally handsome. And it had rankled, indeed, when she'd tried to convince him that she preferred him. He knew she was lying through her teeth.

  But he would come to grips with that. A
fter all, he had no

  desire for her to fall in love with him and start thinking about babies and homemaking. That was hardly what a man

  wanted from his mistress. And he couldn't deny now that he did indeed want her, after what had happened earlier.

  Her lack of finesse combined with her passion was a

  strange mixture that had sent his own desire soaring nearly out of control. He still found it hard to believe how much he'd wanted her right there in the carriage, and how long it had taken to get the urge to ravish her under control.

  Lust. A right and proper feeling to have for one's mistress, he had to allow, so he wasn't displeased. She might prefer Jeremy and wish that she'd ended up with him instead, but where Derek was concerned, her response had been more

  than satisfying.

  Still thinking about it as they finished their meal, Derek remarked, although more to himself, "I'm tempted to rent a

  room here, damn me if I'm not. But I have a feeling it will take several hours to make love to you the first time, and that would have us arriving too late in Bridgewater to get you settled ... Why do you blush?" "'I'm not used to such talk."'

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  He cliackled, finding her continued pretense of innocence rather amusing. He was curious to know how she hoped to carry the pretense beyond the first time they came together. But he'd find that out tonight, wouldn't he? And that was a

  very pleasant thought. "Don't worry about it, m'dear. You'll get used to it soon enough." "I hope so," she replied. "Or I am sure to need cooler clothing-that is to say, this constant blushing keeps me

  rather warm."

  He burst out laughing. "And here I'd hoped I would be doing that." "There, you see?" she said with yet another blush, and brought her hand up to fan against her cheeks. "It might as

  well be summer, with as warm as I'm keeping." "I expect by summer we'll be hard-pressed to get a blush out of you," he replied somewhat dryly, though he knew it made no difference, if she could blush on command as she was doing now. But he had no desire to end her pretense, amusing as it was. "Shall we be off then, before I change my mind about letting a room?"