by E. M. Bernal
“It’s going to be okay. I’m here to protect you.” He called out. I knew it was strange that he said that, but it also made sense.
“Who are you?” I asked because he looked like Robert West but didn’t at the same time.
“You know who I am.”
“ I don’t…And, I don’t know how I got here.” I said with confusion and captivation.
“Come over here, I just want to hold you. I promise I won’t hurt you.” The image of Robert kept trying to convince me.
The gravitational pull between us was intense. I was compelled to walk towards him slowly but the closer I got, the more intense it became, and it was unsettling. I embraced his arms and held my body against his chest so my heart rate could slow. He wrapped his arms so tight that I could hear my breath against his chest. I closed my eyes, but the light summoned me to open them. A clear smoke was all around us. I pulled my body back from him because I wanted to see and figure out what it was, but Robert suddenly pulled me back towards him.
“Don’t turn around. I’m going to take care of you.” Robert said.
I was confused but felt safe. I softly responded: “I don’t even know you.”
“You will...”
Robert then suddenly vanished, and I was all alone again.
“Robert…” I said softly trying to call him out. I didn’t want to be in the garden alone. I started saying his name louder and louder. Looking around frantically. Apparently I screamed a little too loud. Melissa was looking over me trying to wake me up by shaking my shoulders. My eyes finally opened back to reality.
“City? Are you OK? Wake up! Wake up!” Melissa’s voice repeated.
A loud deep breath came out of my chest. “Yeah.” But I was still trying to still catch it. I pulled my body upward to look around the room, realizing it was just a dream.
“What happened? You were yelling… You were saying Robert, Robert. Who is Robert?” Melissa started asking a lot of confusing questions. I was groggy and tried to swallow to speak. I realized she didn’t put two and two together about Robert’s name.
“Nobody, I guess I was dreaming. I’m sorry to have woken you.”
“No, it’s okay. That kind of scared me… You’re okay? Melissa asked to be sure.
“Yeah I’m fine…”
“Okay, I’m going back to bed then…” Melissa handed me a part of the blanket and went back to her room.
I laid back down and stared at the ceiling for a bit, but I was so exhausted I drifted back to sleep quickly, and this time only drew a blank.
******
We both got up early the next morning. I could hear her making noise in the kitchen.
“Good morning…” I yelled from the couch. Still feeling lazy. It took me a minute to get up but not before I stretched every inch of my body.
“Hey girl.” Melissa yelled back from the kitchen.
“Are you making omelets!?!” I yelled jokingly.
“Yeah, do you want one? Do you drink coffee?” Melissa replied quickly.
I was just kidding when I asked, but today must be my lucky day. I headed towards her kitchen.
“No, I don’t really care for coffee. But I would like ME some orange juice…” I was hoping she had some as I sang the phrase.
“O, for sure, look in the back of the refrigerator. My mother loves orange juice.”
“I’m going to go wash up first and then I’ll come back and have a breakfast with you.” I grabbed the juice and headed over to her room, grabbing my bag. I entered the bathroom and looked into the mirror with a hard stare. I loved my hair, but I never really wanted to let it hang loose. I don’t like it in my face. But, I couldn’t bring myself to cut it either. I guess it was beautiful. It was long, dark brown, sometimes light brown in the sun. And, since my eyes are green, my eyelashes and hair made it pop. People tell me I’m pretty all the time, but it’s mostly my family and when guys do, I think they just want to get in my pants.
I washed my face and brushed my teeth, spitting out the toothpaste. I was finally done and put the cap on and set it down to grab a towel to dry off. When I looked in the mirror again I thought about the dream for a minute. Even though I never remember my dreams, this one was vivid. But, it was just a dream and I blew it off.
“Hey, I’m back.” I walked in the doorway when she was already diving into her omelet. As perfectly fit as she was, she could definitely eat. But I guess the dance squad keeps her in shape. She pointed to my plate with a well-cooked, and perfectly set omelet.
“So, are you ready?” Melissa asked.
“More ready than I’ll ever be… I haven’t gone shopping in forever. To be honest with you, I was really glad you decided to do this with me.” I answered her with enthusiasm.
“Yeah no problem, I always want to go shopping. But, a little secret, I was excited that you wanted to go shopping, and change up your wardrobe a little bit.” Melissa said while scarping the last of her omelet in her mouth. “It always feels good to look good, right?” She finished her last sentence and picked up her plate.
“I guess, we’ll see…” That was the best response I could give, while continuing to eat.
It was time to get ready to leave. And, as usual, I put my hair in a ponytail. We decided to take Melissa’s car instead of mine because I made an excuse not to take it, considering I didn’t clean it…again…
******
The Enchanted Mall was huge! It looked like a castle, but a fancy one. It had Melissa written all over it. My mouth dropped when we walked in. There were so many cool stores in there when I realized I hadn’t been to a mall since I was a little girl. I never cared to shop, and thrift stores were easier to get through. I was actually getting pretty excited to see all the dresses, skirts, tops, and even heels that were sparkling in the windows. I began to think what would be best to look for. The girls didn’t wear tall heels at school, but they definitely had heels. If they weren’t wearing those, then they were wearing some hot looking boots, and I secretly loved them all. I was ready to enter and let the shopping begin.
“Shoe time!” I yelled to Melissa.
“Let’s do it.” She directed me with a nod. We started to mingle with the salesgirls and the items, displaying something to each other every two minutes. When I was trying on some shoes, a memory came crashing in. I never shopped because I was always angry or depressed back home. I didn’t even dress right for my grandfather’s funeral. Luke and Unity made life hell sometimes. It made me want to stay in my room and crawl into a ball. But now that Luke’s not around, and I’m starting to make friends. I have to move on. These shoes were going to be a symbol of that because I have to leave my dark past where it belongs and live with bright new colors around me.
Melissa grabs my arm to finally go into her favorite store, FOREVER 18. The minute we got in there, you could see how flashy or beautiful everything was. I started to look at the price tags but to my surprise they were normally priced. I don’t think Melissa, or her parents were rich but they did look like it because Melissa looked expensive to me. In fact, none of the kids at school were rich, but their images were deceiving.
Robert West crossed my mind when I decided to buy a pair of high-heeled black boots. I wonder if he was going to like my new style. We went into another clothing store. I tried on a couple dresses. Melissa sat outside of the dressing room. She made a happy face or a thumbs down for her approvals and disapprovals. Every time I came out, I strutted a pose. But, she always made me make the final decision in the mirror. After about 5 different stores, I got a lot of stuff. I was happy. Melissa told me she was going to knock out a few more stores, but I was done. I had a few dollars left and told her I’d wait in the bookstore that was next door. I saw a couple ones in the window that sounded interesting. I spent the last of my money on them. There was a book by Stuart Wilde called, 33 Steps to Reclaiming Your Inner Power. I bought that one and couple of others to call it a day. Spending all of my money was also a good excuse not to go out with
the group tonight. I was going to have to break the news to her eventually.
We were there for almost 3 to 4 hours and I was exhausted. We drove back to her place with the car full of shopping bags.
“Are you hungry?” Melissa parked and asked before we got off the car.
“Girl, how much do you eat?” My face looked puzzled.
“No, I’m thinking just like a candy or something.” We broke out in a laugh that lingered for a minute.
“No… I have to head back home.”
“What do you mean? I thought you were going to stay for the weekend?”
“I was but that history report that’s due this coming Wednesday, I haven’t even really started it yet.”
“Is that all you think about is school? Work. Work. Work.” Melissa started to ramble with disappointment as she pulled the rubber ban out of my ponytail to imply that I needed to loosen up. We both gradually got out of the car, handing me my rubber band back.
“You know, you have beautiful hair…” Melissa complimented me as we walked towards the front door.
“Thanks… Listen, I appreciate everything, but I really do have to get going. I don’t really like leaving my mom alone that much.” I lied.
You could see guilt draw upon Melissa’s face. “She okay?”
“She just divorced a guy named Luke.”
“Not your dad?”
“Yeah, but long story.”
“Do you ever see your dad?” That was a question I didn’t want to answer or explain. I looked at her and tried to think of something quick but without lying.
“He lives in Denver. I don’t think he’s going to come back up this way. I think he wants to stay there for good. He has a really great career there, so I’m sure that’s what’s best.” I answered as shortly as I could.
I went straight to the room after she opened her front door, trying to fade out the conversation.
“I’m going grab my stuff Melissa.”
“Okay.” She agreed and headed toward her bathroom.
I don’t think she noticed that I was vague, or that I didn’t answer her question. I gathered all my stuff to get ready and leave. When I was done, I found her in the kitchen eating a candy bar. I smiled. “Is it any good?” I asked. It was a chocolate flavored nut-candy bar.
“It is the best! My favorite.”
I had my overnight bag and shopping bags in hand.
“So, are you sure you don’t want to go with us tonight? We’re going to the Moon Lake Theater and then to The Garden.” Melissa made sure to remind me.
“Oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask you that. We didn’t get to finish our conversation yesterday when you mentioned it.” I said, putting my bags down on the floor.
“What is The Garden?” I asked.
“It’s this really cool garden that is in the center of the city by the lake. It has all these beautiful flowers. They’re like tropical or something. For some reason it’s the only place they grow in throuigh a certain amount of temperature.”
“But why is it called The Menon Garden?”
Melissa shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. They say it has a spirit that controls and governs our world. They also say it’s haunted by ghost. So, I guess for kicks, we go down here and take something to drink, and just party on, you know? It’s become a Henry Cotter senior year tradition.”
For some reason in that moment some images of my dream came back to me. It was eerie that my dream sounded like their garden. I didn’t mention it to her because I didn’t want to talk about it. Again, it was just a dream, right???
“All right woman. I will see you Monday.” I stated as she followed me to the front door.
“Aaand…. I’m excited to see you Monday too. You better put your hair down!” She yelled from the door.
I smiled at her once in my car read to go, but turned the ignition on to drown her out.
WE FINALLY MEET
Diary 4
Sunday was passing by quickly, and Unity and I were conversing normally again. I went to bed early that night because I had a new look to put on in the morning, and I was excited. I never thought about being sexy or pretty before, but something this time finally changed me. And now, deep down, I could see this shadow of a woman blossoming. Before, I was too scared to be a part of society. But, at the end of my days, I never realized that by excusing myself to avoid society’s approval, I was really just hiding from it. Those thoughts gave me the ability to get some rest, and luckily, I had no disturbing dreams to ruin my excitement.
******
I had set the alarm to get up early the next morning, but I woke up without it. I had some serious plans to iron out my long hair and put on a whole set of makeup. No ponytail, I screamed inside my head. It was scary, but an exciting feeling at the same time. I do wear makeup in small doses daily, but this time it is going to make a difference. I blended colors to ensure it went with my outfit. And, last but not least, I’m attempting eyelashes.
Eyelashes. What a task…
It was a little chilly outside, so today was a great day for boots. I had purchased long black heeled boots, which had a sleek look with silver buckles that added some flare. Finally, it was time to put the outfit together. I never thought I had a bad body , even though I didn’t work out much. I guess most are naturally fit when they’re young, but Unity has a great figure too. We share the same eating habits and body type, so I guess I have good genetics to account for it.
My outfit turned out to be fitted, but, without looking sleezy. It was a black top with white long sleeves that colored it half and half. I paired with a black skirt that had white pinstripes with acceptable inches above the knee. I added a cool belt and put on my diamond studs my grandma Amelia gave me, along with a silver flower ring my mom gifted me for my birthday a few years ago that I never use. But, no matter what, my favorite red double-breasted peacoat Luke gave me was still going over it.
When I looked in the mirror, I felt amazing, but I never thought it was okay to think you’re pretty because it seemed conceited. Maybe this one time, I can think it to myself. Most of all, I looked like I cared for once… Okay… I admit, I look beautiful. I said it out loud while starring in the mirror, but even with the attempted confidence, I still let out a sigh.
******
When I arrived at school, the stares were obvious and uncomfortable, but I smiled more often than not. I didn’t see any of my group until I arrived closer to my locker. Logan did a double take, but he didn’t say a word. He silently watched me with a blank look on his face. Cullan ran up to him and said something, but still without saying anything to me. I could feel them secretly directing their conversation about my appearance. They started play fighting and making jokes, judging by their competitive nods and punches. I decided not to ignore it when I walked by.
“Hey guys, good morning…” I said with ease, pretending I didn’t notice.
“HEY…” “Looking good City.” They both said, speaking over each other. I smiled with one quick glance and kept walking because as usual…there went the class bell.
Everywhere I went someone was asking what got into me, but I smiled and changed the subject as quickly as I could when I could. Some teachers had to ask a couple guys in different classes to pay attention because they kept trying to make conversation while they were teaching. I have to admit it was an eventful day to say the least. But I’m digging it.
******
By the time I knew it, lunch time was here, but I hadn’t run into Robert all day and I subconsciously wanted to see if I could catch his attention. When I finally reached the cafeteria, I discreetly looked around before the group could see me. But, nothing. Where could he be?
I clinched my backpack, let out a disappointed breath, and started walking over to my group. Either way I knew I had a class with him later. Everyone looked up once they noticed me walking over. The entire group started applauding as I got closer. My makeover made some waves at the table, which let the whole
cafeteria know that I was dressed up for once. Drexy was the only one who stayed silent.
“O, stop…” I said to calm them down, but they were determined to give me a standing ovation. I don’t really like much attention, but I had to admit it felt pretty good. My smile couldn’t hide away anymore. Melissa’s smile was the biggest, I thought she was going to break her face as she stretched out her arms to release the excitement. She bowed down to introduce me to the seat next to her as if I hadn’t sat there every day since the beginning of the school year.
“O God, girl, it’s not that serious.” I said.
“Ahh… yes it is. You look amazing… I didn’t know you had hair.” She responded sarcastically while fluttering her fingers through it.
“Ha, ha… funny.” I rebutted.
Sam and Molly were both facing our direction in the seats next to us. They started begging me to go to the garden and the theatre for the weekend with them. Supposedly one of the best vampire sagas was coming out, but I didn’t know if I could sit through anymore fantasy love stories. I decided to lie.