by E. M. Bernal
“Oh, let me help you with that.” I said, turing to grab the bags.
“Thank you, my little City.”
I laid the bags down and faced her quickly with an excited look.
“Okay, I think I can leave my body now. I think I can do more. I’m sure.”
“Show me.” She demanded with a straight face.
When we got outside, I assumed the position under a tree.
“Okay, Veracity, concentrate. Feel your heartrate and imagine you’re flying.” My grandma sounded very direct. I took a deep breath and tried to drift into a meditative state that quickly worked. I couldn’t hear anything, but a black tunnel reappeared, making me synch to it. I felt like I was falling in it. All of a sudden, I could open my eyes. But, groggy with a floating like feeling, drifting me above the clouds. I looked around and I realized I was in the sky. I was a little frightened but not enough to panic. After about two minutes I felt the wind on my face. The cold was not cold anymore and my body felt somewhat hot again. I looked around and I touched a cloud. A deep breath emerges even though I couldn’t feel it, but I could see the sun very close. Too close. I had to shut my eyes.
“Open your eyes Veracity.” My grandma stood floating next to me smiling. “Give me your hands.” She asked. I put my hands out and it felt dreamlike, but I knew I wasn’t dreaming. I grabbed her hands. To my surprise they were solid. “Look down.” She requested. As soon as I looked to the ground, I felt a shift in my weight. Our bodies were on the ground sitting there in a frozen like state. I was shocked for a second, but my grandma asked me to focus and look up again. “You are experiencing pure energy Veracity. Relax.”
“Are we floating?”
“Well, sort of.”
“Can we get back to the ground?” I asked wanting to leave the experience.
“Yes… Okay, let’s go back.” She assured me I was safe.
I quickly opened my eyes, and I realized I did it. I really did it! I can tell Ren the good news, I thought in my head.
My grandma and I hugged. I told her I wanted to spend more time with her and keep practicing, there was a still a lot to learn, I’m sure, but I was ready to head home. My grandma understood and let me go.
GETTING TO KNOW MY PAST
Diary 14
I decided to get with Ren next weekend instead of the week to come. I needed to learn self-control and how to turn it off and on at a moment’s notice, like my grandma can. It was time I needed alone. I made sure he knew. I planned not to tell him too much, but he understood when I called him into my room that night. After Ren’s essence was completely gone for the evening, I wanted to go to bed early, but a text came in that was hard to ignore.
ROBERT: Can we talk?
ME: What about?
ROBERT: I have something to tell you.
ME: Robert, I can’t right now.
ROBERT: Veracity, are we still friends?
I paused at that last text. Yes, I was his friend, but could I continue to be? If not, would I ever be again? That was something I didn’t want to think about or answer.
ME: Robert, I have to go to bed. Please just let me go…
The moon came in to greet me as promised. I turned to face it, thankful that the texts went silent.
******
The next morning, I wanted to practice without my grandma. Self-control is the first thing I needed to master if I am going to use these powers to my advantage. So, turning it off and on is important. I have to admit, I got pretty good at it.
I decided to test Unity first without her knowing after school one day.
“Mom, where are you?!?” I yelled from the first floor by the stairwell.
“I’m in my room honey.”
“Oh, are you busy?”
“Somewhat, what is going on?” She called out from her room.
“I just wanted to talk.”
I took a deep breath and opened her door. “Hey, what’s going on?” Unity turned to face me from inside of her closet.
“Are you cleaning?” I asked.
I stayed silent and tried to read her thoughts. This was a perfect moment because she sighed.
I became in a slight trance with my eyes still staring directly at her. An echo whispered in my head.. I wish he would call me back already. Unity’s thoughts were coming in directly. My eyes widen, surprised that I could hear her clearly, but then I realized what she just thought. And, before I could say anything…
“Stop that Veracity!” Unity said with a furious tone.
“What?” I answered shocked.
“Why are you using your powers on me?”
“I’m not.”
“Don’t lie to me City.”
“So, grandma showed me how to use them.” I answered quickly, trying to break the tension, thinking she would be okay with it.
“Don’t you ever do that to me again.”
“Mom, I’m sorry.”
“Get out of my room City.”
“Mom…”
“No, out!” Unity demanded as she walked past me with some clothes in her hand, opening the door for me to leave.
I felt like a little kid in serious trouble. I decided to leave the house since I caused tension. I grab my keys and headed to closest park. It only has a few people around. The wind felt great on my face and it wasn’t cold outside, so this was a great day to be out to get away from Unity.
I decided to lay in the grass. I didn’t think any would care since others were doing the same, having conversations. I started praying, trying to leave my body. I was chanting peacefully, and it started to work. I didn’t feel like I was floating but I could hear everything people were saying around me clearly. The pouring of wine, the smack of a kiss, a bird landing on top of a dog. It was like I could zoom in and out of whatever I wanted to see or hear with my eyes close. It was strange, but really cool at the same time.
I felt good to embrace my powers, even though Unity is not happy about it. I wondered why she didn’t want me to hear her. What was she thinking? It didn’t matter, we hardly talk anyway and no matter what I do when we get close, it never feels that way. I thought she would be happy that I wanted to use my powers, but I guess I was terribly wrong.
******
I decided to go for one last trial-weekend practice with my grandma instead of hanging with Ren. I’ll get with Ren soon, I thought. I miss spending time with him, but my introverted side was kicking in and I was determined to master this more so now.
When I arrived at my grandma’s, she was waiting for me outside as usual.
“Okay, woman, let’s see what you got!” Grandma Amelia yelled from the porch as she rose from her chair.
I smiled at her and walked up with pride. The wind gushed through my hair as I grabbed my bag and closed my car door shut. I felt like a chick out of the famous movie, The Craft for a minute there.
Grandma Amelia wasted no time chatting, we immediately started training. I was ready this time. I wasn’t nervous, or unsure. That was unlike me, but when you practice something over and over again, you start to realize you can do anything you put your energy into. You can be the best of the best by applying the best of you to it.
We walked to the back field and we immediately started speaking inside our minds.
“Oh my God! I said when I opened up my eyes and looked at my grandma. We were having a full-blown conversation and I could turn it off and on. This was freakN exciting!
We finally started using our lips once we let go of the trance and came in close to each other.
“You can do that from anywhere in the world.” My grandma stated after my shock wore off.
“What do you mean, even if I’m in London and you are here in the US?”
“Well, that’s a good place to pick. But yes, you can hear me anywhere.” She assured.
“That’s amazing! Being alive is fun now.” I said thinking out loud.
My grandma stared at me for minute.
“What?” Grandma Amelia asked whe
n she grabbed me by my arms and hugged me tight.
“Just when you think life is perfect, it will throw you a fast ball that will slap you in the face. Don’t ever underestimate the challenges that will come again and will always try to take you out. Don’t let it Veracity. Stay strong. Life will never be perfect, but you have the power to override your sadness. You have to peel the strength out of your soul. Do you hear me? Don’t let go of your soul ever again…. I love you.” She stated with much worry. I guess I shouldn’t have said that.
I hugged her back tight and became teary eyed. “I love you grandma.”
We had a great time the rest of the day training. Talking back-and-forth. Learning how to harness my power to the bottom of my core, allowing the body to heat up, but not too much. We worked together holding hands, and without holding hands. We went into separate parts of the woods, stream and field to have telepathic connection. It was the freakiest, amazing, and the most beautiful thing I have ever felt. We traveled outside of our bodies together, landing on the roof, in the trees and sometimes in the stream. To my surprise, when I harnessed the energy, I could feel the water. I could create ripples as I felt the wind.
Grandma Amelia explained that the mind, just like when you dream, can make it real.
At some point I wanted to take a break. I felt exhausted after concentrating my energy each time, but it replenished quite quickly as well.
“Do you think we could take a break?” I asked once I returned to my body.
“Yes my little City, let’s go sit down inside and get some tea.”
“Are you too tired to do anymore?” She asked.
Yeah, a little. It’s all a little overwhelming.”
“Well, you’re getting better.” She assured me.
“I can actually feel the power a little more controlled each time I do it.” I confirmed.
“And that’s the way it supposed to be. As it is in all things. You learn, you train, and you master.” She said with inspiration.
We paused to drink our tea. I looked out into the beautiful countryside that was in front of us on the porch. I never wanted to leave here at times.
“Grandma, how often do you see ghost?”
“Not often.”
“Like my dad, cannot you not ever see him?”
I knew she was be a little reluctant to talk about it, but I waited for an answer anyway.
With a deep sigh, my grandma said, “You know love, he come to me in my dreams.”
“Really?” I asked with excitement.
“Yes, but not ever in person as an energy source from another dominion, like your Ren.”
“And, what happens???” I was so anxious that I practically wanted to cry.
“He always said to just check on you from time to time, but that he knows your strong and that you will eventually realize you don’t need anyone.”
A part of me wonder if she said that just to give me some sort of peace but the other part wanted to trust my grandma. I decided that it hurt too much to continue, so I changed the subject.
“Are there some powers that I haven’t developed yet?”
“Well, you developed them so young, I doubt it. There has to be more to it. Maybe we can see my friend…”
I interrupted. I didn’t think I could handle anymore news for now.
“Well, I’ll be okay grandma.” I deterred as I drank the rest of my tea.
“Sometimes I do wonder why you have such a huge connection with this… I mean Ren.” She stated, trying to avoid upsetting me with the phrase this ghost.
“I don’t know. I really can’t explain why it has happened.” I answered.
“But, you instantly felt connected to him?”
“Yes.” I answered without hesitation.
“Can you turn it off and on now that you have been practicing?”
“Yes, but I assume he also respects my wishes when I ask him to disconnect his energy from mine too.” I explained.
“But, you can only see Ren, right? No others, as far as you can tell?” She asked me again to be sure.
“Yes, only Ren, but grandma he looks so real until I try to touch him. But, he can disappear in less than a second with a flame of white smoke.”
“What does Ren feel about these powers you have?” Grandma Amelia probed more, but I didn’t mind.
“He said he wasn’t surprised.”
“He wasn’t surprised, why?”
“Well, he said that there has to be a reason why I could see him, so the psychic powers explain some of it, doesn’t it?”
“Yes, but it doesn’t explain why you developed them so early and why you can only see him? I’m assuming he knew you were physic, but I find it odd that he doesn’t know why you are so compelled with to be with him.”
“Well, maybe we were together in another life?” I suggested.
“What do you mean City, like reincarnation?”
“Yes.”
“Hmmm, I guess it’s possible, but I have a feeling that is not it, and maybe you should demand a real answer from him.”
“What do you mean? He doesn’t know why.” I said with ridicule.
Grandma Amelia stayed staring at me in silence with an odd look. Almost like a gaze. But, she immediately turned it off. I implanted silence since the conversation became uncomfortable and confusing. But, deep down, I know there was a reason. And the other strange thing was that I love him now. I really love him, and I don’t care why.
“Well, it’s okay as long as he’s not trying to hurt you.” Grandma Amelia said to ease the tension.
“No, he wouldn’t do that grandma, he’s so nice and he’s so good. I promise. He died so young. He was only 18 when he died.”
“How did he die?” She asked.
“Ren told me he died in a car accident on his way home from a party.”
“Like your father?” She asked with a curious face.
“Oh, that’s right. I forgot my father died in a car accident also.”
“Yes, David, was such a fun-loving guy.” Grandma said, going off subject.
“Where was he going that day when he died?”
“I believe your mom had asked him to go to get something from the store. On his way over he came to a crossroads that had four stop signs, but one was coming off a highway. Your father assumed it was his turn to go and an 18-wheeler slammed into him at the same time.”
A sadness consumed my body in that moment.
“The collision hit him so hard, he died instantly.” Grandma Amelia finished the story.
We were sitting across each other on the porch swing, but I came in close to put my head on her shoulder.
“I wish I knew him… because I will always love him.” I said with pure sad confidence.
The night ended with the stars clear as day in the country sky. We headed in and I got the best sleep of my life that night. I finally felt like I understood my feelings, my past, but most of all that I was capable of loving a man… even if he was a ghost.
******
The next morning, I got up early, but it never fails that my grandma is up before me cooking breakfast.
It is 6:49 am and I could hear the pots and pans in the other room.
“Morning!” I telepathically screamed in my head.
“City, come out and speak like normal human beings.” My grandmas sarcastically responded in my head.
I came out and a load of pancakes sat on the table. Grandma Amelia poured some orange juice in my cup and offered a morning smile.
“Well, I have to thank you for everything grandma.”
“You are my heart, I have to make sure you’re okay, happy and strong. It’s no problem my love.” She offered her hand to grab my arm for assurance.
I stuffed two pancakes down and ran back to pack. I was excited to go see Ren. Do I just deal with the separate dimensions? We needed to talk because how realistic is this whole effort? Even with my powers, would this work?
“Hey grandma, I’m heading ou
t!” I yelled from the doorway. She was in the back hanging a large quilt. I decided to run back and hug her instead of just walking out. She embraced me back in silence.
“Be careful my little city. Tell Ren, I said hello.”
******
I called out to Ren a few times when I got home, but to my surprise his energy was not hearing me right away. Unity was gone and I decided to go upstairs and unpack. I figured he’d pop up like he always does.
When I got up to my room I realized I hadn’t done my homework with all the training and unexpected time with my grandma this weekend. I grabbed one of my books, hoping Ren wouldn’t show up right way after all, so I could catch up.
Right when I opened the book, a loud knock came to the door.
I ran downstairs seeing a shadow from the door windowpane but whoever it was wasn’t clear at first. Then, I realized it was Robert. I was surprised and walked in slow motion towards the entrance.
“Hey. You didn’t text or call?” I asked as soon as I opened the door.
“Veracity, I need to talk to you.”