by E. M. Bernal
My grandma and I walked into the room as the doctor moved out of the way to give us space.
I was scared to see her but thankful she was alive. Especially after feeling her soul drifting into one place and out to another that made me believe she was dead.
She looked frail and her eyes were closed. Two IV’s and a mask were giving her support. My grandma and I stayed silent as we approached. We both leaned against the medical bed post while the tears came crashing down my face. My grandma hugged me from the right side and also let out a tear, but she wiped it off quickly. I grabbed Unity’s hand and whispered I love you, trying not wake her. But she must have sensed us there because in a slow movement she turned to look at me.
“I love you my daughter.” Unity said when her eyes tried to fixate on mine. Her fingers reached out to signal she wanted to hold my hand.
“Mom…” I wiped my nose of snot and tried to gather my tears back. “Mom… I wish you knew I loved you. And…”
“It’s okay.” Unity tried to stop me from thinking or crying too much as I tried to respond to her.
Grandma Amelia looked at me and grabbed my shoulder to let me know she was going downstairs for some water. I nodded but kept my eyes on Unity.
“I know I am not a good mother. And, I’m sorry. You deserve better…” Unity apologized.
“I just wanna believe it can change.” I replied as I leaned forward towards her, holding her hand.
“Mom, you can’t kill yourself over a man!” I said with a stern but low voice, trying to make her realize what she has done to us.
“And, neither should you Veracity….” Unity rebutted quickly with a strained look on her face.
In that moment my eyes widened to look straight into hers. I took a deep breath realizing I had become her.
“I know.” I replied with deepest intake of breath I have ever taken, wondering if she could understand my words.
‘I can feel your thoughts. I know what you’re doing. You’re my daughter. And, Ren is not right for you.”
The deep sigh I took…just let out.
“I thought we weren’t supposed to use our powers against each other.” I wanted to retaliate with the discomfort I had left in me.
“There are times when you’re thinking of me and it lets me in. Then you shut me out and I’m blocked from you. But I will always try to feel you. You are part of who I am. You deserve to live a good life here. And, I need you.” Unity said it with all the strength she had left in her voice. But, the truth still remained that I didn’t know whether to believe her.
“I love you Veracity.” Her words grasp at me like no other thoughts I have ever felt.
I began to cry again.
Was this real? I would let Ren go if it was. I need my mom. I love my mom.
“I love you mom.” My words were compelled.
“You don’t have to be in a relationship in order to be happy because I don’t want you to turn out like me.” You’re stronger than I. And, I see that in you every day. The beauty goes way past your skin. The truth is, is that it’s miserable to live this way. Always hoping that you can find a way to make them love you back.” Unity was finally showing me that she could see the truth.
“I almost had a near death experience, I’m going to have a new outlook on life.” Unity said with a genuine tone. Things will be different now, okay? Unity asked and waited for my reply.
I loved Ren, the way she loved Luke, no remorse, no regret. No realizations of reality, but in that moment, I grew up. I am responsible for me. My choices and happiness are mine but how can I experience them. It was still something I will have to master.
I love you too mom. I said as I clinched over her bed holding her hand.
Unity opened and closed her eyes over and over. She was tried. I wanted her to sleep.
“Rest mom.”
She closed her eyes and drifted into a sleep. In that moment of silence, I felt that Robert genuinely loved me. I felt his love. I knew he was a healthier choice for me, and I wanted to do what was right.
Grandma Amelia showed up at the door with 2 cups of coffee. I smiled and signaled to be quite so Unity could sleep.
“Are you ready my dear?”
Yes grandma I’m ready. Let’s go home for now.”
I’ll stay with you until we can come get your mother out.”
I was so exhausted. I just wanted to go home and sleep. But I needed to mediate and figure out what happen with Ren and Robert.
When I arrived at the house, I decided to get into the bathtub to try mediation to see if I could call out to Robert or Ren. I laid in the tub with my head back. Trying to relieve all of the stress that I felt. It was a nerve-racking feeling to brush off all the anxiety tonight. But, I’m in solitude finally. Alone.
A soft knock on the restroom door opened my eyes. “Grandma?” “No, it’s me Robert.”
I jumped up from the tub to get a towel. When I opened the door, Robert didn’t look directly at me but hugged me tight without a moment’s notice.
“Ren is gone.” Robert said quietly in my ear.
“What?” I asked in shock.
I couldn’t register it because he is a ghost.
“That is not possible. He’s already dead.” I replied in dismay.
“Necromancers can annihilate energy to rid it from a certain entity. He agreed as he was being defeated to release his time here on this earth plane. We both want what is best for you Veracity.”
Tears once again found a way to emerge over and over. I looked up at Robert and pushed him back out of anger. “No…this cant’ be. Why didn’t you let him live…” I tried to yell but couldn’t.
“I’m sorry, but I love you too much to allow you to go with him.”
A sense of logic wanted to take over my heart as I agreed deep down. As Unity words cross my mind too. I knew this was best and I needed to let go.
I wrapped my arms around him and said, “I love you but just know I will always love him too.”
“It’s okay. I understand.”
I know Robert was just trying to save me. And the other part is, I’m glad that I’m finally saving myself. In the end, I was contemplating a form of suicide. How do we get so deep into wanting others to love you that you don’t want to be here anymore? Life shouldn’t depend on another life to live. I know if my real father was here, he would have told me that. I finally realize what Robert has been trying to tell me all this time. When a good man loves you and he treats you right, he doesn’t take over your whole world. He doesn’t take away the things that make you happy. He doesn’t try to separate you from those you love. And if you love him back, he gets to be a part of that happiness.
My grandma wanted Robert to leave so I could get a good night’s rest. I walked him to the door and gave him a hug and a kiss. Robert smiled as he stood at the entrance to leave. It made me realize we were finally together and that everything happens for a reason, regardless of how tragic.
Ren and I are from two different worlds and I needed to leave his world out of mine. And, even though I can see ghost and have these powers, I will not use them anymore unless I am in danger. I’m safe now. My grandma has taught me enough to block them and I most of all, I have Unity back.
The truth is, is that I love Robert for protecting me and now I know I will love him more and more each day, even though a part of me will always be with Ren somewhere in my heart.
SERENITY
Diary 19
I reached over to grab my cell phone to check the time. I’m going to have to start getting ready in a minute. I can’t believe that graduation is almost here. Unity and I have been closer than ever, and my life finally feels really good. Robert is making this even better. We still haven’t revealed much at school, but we talk in the halls quite a bit. We decided to go to Cullan’s graduation party together as our big reveal. Some people knew, like Melissa but not everyone.
When I got up to look at myself in the mirror, it was different. A good d
ifferent though.
No more nightmares have come, but I always wish my dad to come back to me in them one day.
In the end, two people who I love very much are dead, Ren and my unknown beloved father. Depression is a hard game to play, trying to live in a world with people who seem happy all the time, but who knows, maybe they’re just pretending. But, no matter what, I’m not anymore.
I put my hands against the mirror to press against it to, taking a closer look at my face and let out a smile. The red dress I’m going to wear tonight is going to be grand, thanks to Melissa.
A text message came in.
ROBERT: Are you almost ready?
ME: Almost, one more hour please!?!
The party doesn’t start until nine, but it was 8:30.
ROBERT: I’ll see you then. I love you.
ME: HA! I feel the same way!
I put on my cute red dress and made my hair as straight as it could be. I put my makeup on but lightly. I wore heels with red and white straps for style. It looked stellar.
I ran downstairs to show Unity. She was in the kitchen on the phone. She saw me and immediately smiled. “Aw, honey, you look so great.” She said, paying attention, telling the person on the phone she had to call them back.
“Who was that?” I asked out of curiosity.
“A guy.” Unity said with a flirty smile.
“WHAT? WHO?” I asked her as I stepped closer.
“A guy I met at the supermarket who asked me out.” Unity clarified with the smile.
“NICE!” I responded with excitement. My prayers are being answered I thought.
“Well, I better text Robert to come get me.”
“Okay. I love you!” Unity echoed as she got up to walk to her bedroom with the phone in her hand. I stared at the phone for a minute, praying he was a good guy.
ME: Hey, I’m ready!
ROBERT: Hey, I’m outside waiting.
ME: What? Already?
ROBERT: Been here. I was too excited, couldn’t wait. ;)
I opened the front door and Robert jumped off his truck. To my surprise he was wearing a white dress polo with dark blue jeans but with his black boots of course. He looked amazing. I smiled in awe for a second.
Robert walked up to the doorway and put out his hand to grab mine. “Come.”
“You look nice.” I grabbed him by the waist, smiled and invited a long tongue filled kiss.
******
Cullan’s house look like a small white and black mansion. The windows were sculpted like something out of a castle. It was surrounded with the best landscaping and the led lights were beautifully set on the main entrance of the home. I knew Cullan had an expensive car, but I never realized his parents were this wealthy.
The music vibrated everywhere and the party lights were shimmering in the sky from the back of his home. Robert and I straightened out our clothes, nervous as we rang the doorbell. The music was bouncing off the door, but you could still hear a ton of people talking and laughing. Me and Robert were holding hands, smiling at each other waiting.
Cullan swung the door open with a drunk smile. “Well, hey, hey, hey. Look at you guys! You
look great together, come on in!”
We stepped in the doorway and Cullan started pointed to where the food and drinks
were.
“You guys have fun…” He said while grabbing some unsuspecting girl by her arm to go dance.” The hallway was a long corridor from the main entrance to different rooms with large entrances. We started to walk around to take a tour.
I was really happy. No one seemed to care that I was with Robert. I really, really thought I would get one bad look from someone, but nothing. It was strange. I seriously thought the groups would never accept each other. Maybe it was all in my head. That, or Drexy got the best of my thoughts. People were saying hi as I walked past them from time to time until we made into the kitchen. Drinks were everywhere. Pizza, and every type of finger food was scattered on grand granite kitchen island.
My eyes widened. Melissa was standing there talking to Bridget and Nidia, some girls on her dance team. I tightened my grip on Robert’s hand and smiled to invite my way over.
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Mr. East and my favorite girl!” Melissa said with her bubbly personality.
“Hey girl...” I leaned over to hug.
“You guys just get here?” Melissa said as she stuffed a cheese ball in her mouth.
“Always eating… with that great figure. You are certainly non-human.” I made fun of her as I grabbed a cheese ball for myself.
Robert introduced himself with a handshake and a smile. He wrapped his arm around me right when Jazz came in the from the back entrance.
“Hey…how’s it is going ladies?” Jazz went in for hugs from each one, excluding me. Robert’s presence slowed him down. “Hi Veracity.” He decided to just keep his distance as he spoke. Robert put out his hand to shake it.
“Hi, I’m Robert East.”
“Ya, man, I know you. You’re the one that ruined our season a while back, huh?”
The room got silent. I guess not all was forgotten.
“Ya, I guess that is me.” Robert removed his arm from around me and slightly looked away.
“Cool, I’m Jazz, no hard feelings man. It was years ago and we are now back in the game.” Jazz stated as if he had some to do with the last two winnings. He put out his hand to shake Robert’s and it seemed like the tension was gone.
“Girl, let’s take a shot! We are graduating.”
“I don’t drink Mel.”
“I know but pretend with me…”
Robert grabbed a shot and so did everyone else.
“Congratulations everybody!”
I faked my down and dumped it behind me in the sink that was in the middle of the island.
“Robert looked at me and asked, “do you mind if I have a beer?”
“Not at all.” I responded quickly with a smile.
Roberts friends were also there. It seems like everybody was coming together for the senior year. Or the last of it anyway. No one was separate here. You could hear the music and the vibration of the conversations come together with positive energy. I was having a good time.
The large frame window from behind had spectacular lights that showed in the back yard. There was pool party going on. I turned to observe people throwing others in and some diving and screaming as the splashes hit the water. It was a spectacular party.
Robert and everyone around me were preoccupied. Melissa was rambling and I could sense someone staring at me. I looked around but didn’t see anyone. I turned back ignoring the feeling and clinched Robert by his side. He stopped talking for a split second to look down to embrace me with a tight kiss.
“You okay?” He asked.
“Sure. It’s a great night.” I assured him.
He smiled and immediately went back to talking to his buddy and Jazz. They were rambling on about cars and bikes. I tried to pay attention, but I couldn’t. I released myself from Robert’s side and started to look for Melissa. She must have walked off to the bathroom when I got hypnotized by the pool.
I looked back out of window to see if she went outside but only the same people were out there. I told Robert I was going to look for the lady’s room. I turned to head to the front, looking for the bathroom. I could still sense something and when I turned around I saw a light shadow pass by the window. My powers are blocked, so I must be imagining things.
******
The windowpane filtered white smoke as Ren’s hands appears on the glass, watching us. His somewhat invisible figure glared through the window. I had already walked past it not knowing he was there. I felt something but nothing I could reveal.
While he watched me he whispered,
“Sorry, Robert I can’t keep my promise. She has to know the truth about our mom, and her dad.
I kept walking oblivious to this moment.
******
I cau
ght Melissa in the restroom fixing her bra. “Hey girlie.” I said as I grabbed some
lipstick out of my little purse I brought with me. “Hey, hey…” She said with a cheesy smile.
“So, I didn’t know that Cullan was rich.” I indirectly asked Mel.
“Ya, his stepdad is super rich, some kind of investor. He’s never around though.”
“Stepdad?” To my surprise I tried to be nosy because I just realize how clueless I was about their personal lives.
“Yes… his mom took off on him years ago, but his stepfather took the roll. He doesn’t have his last name though.” Melissa kept explaining while putting lipstick on in the mirror.
“Really, what’s his last name?”
“West, I think, but you know Cullan is Counsel. Melissa answered to clarify the obvious difference.
“Hmm, Robert is East.” I compared to her.
“Ya, funny huh?” Melissa agreed but shrugged it off.