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An Angel's Purpose

Page 10

by Kristie Cook


  “They let me write—encouraged me to write—when they knew my stories exposed secrets?”

  “The benefits outweighed the risks. But really, Alexis, I can’t say any more than that.” He looked me in the eye. “Just know you can trust the Amadis. We always win.”

  I stared at him with wide eyes, my mouth open. What the . . . ? Who did he . . . ? How . . . ? I could barely form coherent thoughts. When I finally could, I made my words slow, my voice low. “We always win? You’re telling me we always win?”

  He looked away from me, not answering. His jaw muscle twitched.

  “I know firsthand we don’t always win, Owen. In fact, I think I’ve lost nearly everything!” My voice rose in volume and octaves, barely recognizable as the last words came out in a shriek.

  He finally looked at me, his sapphire eyes intense. “I was there, Alexis. Don’t forget that. I was there, right in the middle of it all. I know. But in the end, we do always win.”

  “Get. Out! Get the hell out of my house,” I yelled. I looked around wildly for something to throw at him. Something that would hurt as much as he’d just hurt me. I picked up a chair but he was already gone.

  I paced the house angrily while trying to keep myself under control. I really didn’t want to destroy anything. It was all too precious to me. I pounded on the granite countertops, thinking they were sturdy enough to take my rage. I added a crack to the one left so long ago. Damn it!

  Questions flew through my head, and I had no one to answer. The only one close by said he couldn’t tell me. And I’d just kicked him out of the house anyway. For good reason! But pacing and thinking my own thoughts—probably throwing things way out of proportion from my ignorance—didn’t help.

  “Owen,” I finally yelled outside. I couldn’t take it any longer. He quickly appeared at the bottom of the steps. “You are going to give me answers. I can give you authority, can’t I?”

  His face twisted in a grimace. “Not really. Especially while you’re still . . . before the Ang’dora. But I talked to Rina and Solomon. Ask me questions, and I’ll answer what I can.”

  I gave him a nasty look, but took what I could get. I let him on the balcony, and we sat across from each other at the table.

  I leaned in and looked him in the eye. “Why hasn’t anyone said anything before? About the truth of my books?”

  He nodded slightly. “If you’d known the creatures were real, you wouldn’t have accomplished what you did. There’s a purpose for it all. I can’t tell you that purpose, but Rina or Sophia will soon. Just know it’s a good purpose. We’re good, Alexis.”

  “So even though it’s putting everyone’s lives in danger, they want me to finish it? I just don’t understand.”

  He pushed his hand through his hair and squinted his eyes, seeming to organize his thoughts. “The Daemoni are throwing a fit, but we really think they’re using the books as an excuse to push their limits. They do that sometimes, and right now they’re upset about something. We just don’t know what yet. So they’re using the books as a way to get something they want.”

  “And would that ‘something’ they want possibly be me?”

  He cringed. “Probably . . . actually, yeah.”

  I inhaled deeply as I let my mind process the meaning. I was the one they wanted more than anything. They probably wanted their matched set. But it was me, not Mom or Dorian, that they were truly after now. I let out the air, feeling almost relieved.

  “Is that why I’m left here alone? I mean, no one is taking me to safety. Is it because I’ll put them in danger?”

  “First of all, as long as you stay on this property, you are safe. It’s protected just as well as any safe house. But, yes, it’s better you’re kept away from the others. At least for now.”

  My eyes squinted. “What does that mean? At least for now?”

  He answered with his own question. “You’ve noticed how you’re changing recently?”

  “Who couldn’t notice? I’m a mess.”

  “I’m talking about the physical changes, too. The running and swimming, how your body’s changing, you’re looking younger . . . I mean, you looked terrible a week ago.”

  I threw him a nasty look.

  “Just keeping it real.”

  “Sorry. You’re right. Are the changes really that noticeable to you, too?”

  He nodded. “Part of it—maybe a lot of it—is because you are changing. Actually changing over. The Ang’dora.”

  I stared at him. I’d been right? It is the Ang’dora?

  “Is that what’s been causing all this insanity? All of my crazy behavior these last few days?” I dared to hope it explained everything I’d been going through this past week—that I hadn’t really been as mentally unstable as I’d feared, but that the Ang’dora caused the havoc.

  “That’s what Sophia thinks. Everyone says it’s too early, but Sophia and I have seen you. She was planning to clear out the safe house and take you there, just in case.”

  “That’s what she meant about needing to get away.”

  “Yeah, but then you took off on your own. She only let you go because she knew you’d come here, away from everyone else. Which is good because . . .” He hesitated. I lifted my eyebrows for him to continue. “Because if it is the Ang’dora, well, there are some . . . uncertainties.”

  I nodded with understanding. They weren’t quite positive the Amadis power could conquer my Daemoni blood. I could be just as much a danger to them as any of the predators out there looking for their opportunity to attack. The sense of relief that there was a reason for my meltdown was quickly overshadowed by the memory of Evil Alexis—that internal voice, like I’d never heard it until recently.

  “I see,” I said quietly, falling back into the chair. “So you’re not just here to protect me. You’re also here to kill me, if necessary.”

  His eyes widened with horror. “Alexis, I could never . . .”

  I leaned forward again and looked him directly in the eye. “You have to, Owen. You can’t let me hurt anyone.”

  “But we only kill if absolutely necessary. That’s part of being Amadis. Every soul can be saved.”

  “Rina told me they would’ve killed me when I was a baby if they thought the Daemoni blood would overpower.”

  “Only if there’d been no hope.”

  “You can’t let me hurt anyone,” I repeated.

  The corners of his mouth twitched, as if he fought a smile. “Except Daemoni.”

  “Right.” I sighed.

  I rose from the chair and walked over to the railing, looking across the yard and over the water. I prayed none of this became an issue, but knew the truth in it better than anyone. No one else knew about the evil already trying to brandish its ugly self inside me. I realized then I had to do what I could for the Amadis, even when it made no sense to me now. I had to trust them. Although I knew we didn’t always win.

  “Thanks, Owen.”

  “I’m here for you, no matter what.” He stood right behind me and wrapped his arms around me, strong and warm. I pulled on the Amadis power emanating from his body, absorbing it into my own. His power didn’t feel strong, not like Rina’s or Mom’s or even Stefan’s had been, but it helped. “And I’m sorry if what I said hurt you. You know . . . he was my best friend. I miss him, too.”

  I stiffened in his arms. We had never, ever discussed him, or the events of that day.

  Owen’s voice came out husky as he remembered. “We hung out a lot, before we had to focus on you. We were pretty close, more than anyone knows. Those years he roamed alone . . . when you were still a kid . . . well, we would meet up every now and then. We both had to mainstream, but when we were together, we could be more ourselves. You know?”

  “No, I didn’t know.” I shook my head. My own voice was thick. “Do you . . . do you really think he’s dead, Owen?”

  He blew out a sigh, fluttering my hair. “I don’t know. I really don’t. Nobody does. But that video—”

 
I cut him off. “I don’t really care about the video. I know why they sent it, but I also know what I feel.”

  “No, there’s something else you should know.” He paused. “See, we still don’t know who hacked Rina’s account, but they don’t think it was Amadis. It’s too difficult to believe a council member—or any Amadis—would go behind Rina’s back like this. They’re pretty sure it was the Daemoni.”

  I blinked with surprise as I considered this possibility. Based on the conversation of the other night, the most obvious answer had been the Amadis council. The timing was too perfect. But . . .

  Ian’s mocking laugh when he told me about the arranged marriage resurfaced in my memory. He certainly enjoyed watching my pain, so it was easy to believe the rest of the Daemoni would, too. They probably wished they could have watched me as I viewed the video. They obviously didn’t know anything about me. Or the connection our souls held.

  The Amadis council, on the other hand, did. They should have known the video wouldn’t have forced me into acceptance. They would know that, if anything, the video would have pushed me into the abyss. And, from the little I did know, the council—Rina’s advisors—should be the most loyal to her of all.

  The Daemoni must have sent it.

  “Why now?” I finally asked. “There’s been nothing from them in so long. Why would they do this now?”

  Owen’s arms jerked against me in what I assumed was a shrug. “I don’t know. They don’t tell me everything. But . . .”

  He hesitated.

  “But what?”

  “But the Daemoni might be sending a message . . .” He paused again, drawing in a deep breath. Before I could press him again, though, he finished. “. . . that if they hadn’t actually done it before . . . they have now.”

  I froze. I didn’t even breathe as I let this sink in, let its meaning reach into my soul. My heart thumped several times as I tried to determine what I felt. But I already knew. The feeling that he was still alive strengthened when I arrived at the beach house . . . after they sent the video.

  “I still don’t believe it,” I said.

  “I didn’t think you would,” he murmured.

  We stood in silence for a long moment.

  “Do you think I’m foolish for hanging on?” I whispered.

  He didn’t answer at first, and I tried to ignore the interpretation I made of his silence. I told myself it didn’t matter what he thought. Only my own beliefs mattered, and I knew what I had felt all these years. Especially these last few days.

  “I admire your loyalty,” he finally said. “You do what you need to do for you. That’s what he would want.”

  I nodded, the back of my head rubbing against his chest. I knew the truth in his statement. Someone else had once told me the same thing, many years ago.

  Owen kissed the top of my head, and then he was gone.

  I continued standing at the rail, thinking about Owen and what he put up with as my protector. He said he enjoyed his job, but was there more to it? I remembered how Mom had thought about setting us up, thinking he’d be a good match for me. The thought of being more than just friends had only flitted through my mind a couple times. If the Amadis was right about the video . . . if my true love really was gone . . . for good . . . Well, with Owen, life could possibly be a little more normal—as normal as it could be for an Amadis daughter, who, apparently, was enemies with creatures like vampires and werewolves. There probably wouldn’t be such a strong desire to keep us separated . . . or brought over to their side. I knew Mom would approve, and Dorian loved him. The council would probably be ecstatic, seeing me move on. The possibilities . . .

  But it was impossible to think of Owen as anything different than a friend or a brother.

  I sighed. It doesn’t matter anyway.

  Any future with Owen, or with the Amadis at all, would never happen. I knew what I needed to do—for the Amadis and for my family, especially for my son.

  I sat at my computer and started writing.

  Now that I knew what came next—that I wouldn’t need another world to escape to—the words came easily. I wrote until two in the morning. I was wide awake again at five, ran around the property a few times, then went back to the book. Just before three in the afternoon, I finished. The book. The series. Six years of writing the story. Done. Finito.

  I stared at the last line for several moments and finally typed The End. My chest tightened with grief. Besides Mom, my characters had been my best friends, pulling me through my darkest hours, and now we had to say goodbye, never to visit each other again. Their adventure was over, and so was that whole part of my life . . . or it would be shortly.

  I emailed the entire book to Mom. I didn’t know whether the vampire had been telling the truth about having Daemoni planted at my publisher, so I didn’t send anything to my editor. Mom could do whatever the Amadis council dictated when the time came.

  I then wrote two letters—one to Mom and one to Dorian—explaining how I did this for them, to keep them safe. I wanted to call Dorian, to hear his voice one more time, but I feared what he and Mom would hear in my own voice. Mom would know something was up. So I wrote my goodbyes through the tears. I knew I couldn’t email them—she would get them too soon—and I had no way to print them at the beach house. So my fingers trembled with my sobs as I saved the two letter files on the computer’s desktop, where Mom would easily find them.

  I took a deep breath and focused on the rest of the plan. I hadn’t figured out yet how to do it. Owen had regularly checked on me, reminding me he stayed close by. I’d tested him once, pretending I needed to go to the store. He appeared suddenly and stopped me as I sat in the car, asked what I needed, and was back with a box of tampons in four minutes. I felt bad for putting him through that, and since he made the trip without so much as a complaint, he clearly wouldn’t let me go anywhere. However it happened, I needed to be ready to act on a moment’s notice.

  I showered and studied myself in the mirror, trying to see what I could do to make myself as attractive as possible. It was surprisingly difficult to do any more than what my body had already done on its own. My skin looked and felt smooth—no wrinkles or lines of any kind, no dark and puffy circles under my eyes, the light-olive tone tanned. My hair, now full and vibrant, waved down to the middle of my back, and my body was small but strong. I actually looked like my age.

  I eyed the sundresses we’d bought on our honeymoon and I’d forgotten to pack in our hurried departure. The property management company apparently had the dresses cleaned—they hung in plastic bags in the closet. I’d seen them my first day here. Mom must have had the wedding dress shipped because it wasn’t there, and I knew I hadn’t packed it when we left in such a rush. I was glad it was gone. Seeing it would have been too much for my fragile self of a couple days ago.

  I chose a black dress with purple flowers, spaghetti straps that crossed over my back, and a full skirt that ended about three inches above my knees. It was probably out of style, but I didn’t care. Almost all the clothes I’d brought were dirty, and the dress was better than baggy shorts and a holey T-shirt anyway. I checked myself in the mirror—the dress did the job.

  “Wow, you look . . .” Owen was caught off guard when I called for him. I flashed him my best smile. He narrowed his eyes and said flatly, “You’re not going anywhere.”

  I tried to act casual. “Of course not. I was just tired of looking like a frump. I feel good. I finished the book.”

  He smiled. “Great! Now we wait for it to be published and let it do its thing.”

  “But we can celebrate now,” I said suggestively.

  He looked surprised, the sapphire eyes wide, eyebrows raised. “You and me?”

  “That’s all we have right now, right? Why not? If you get some steaks and the trimmings, I’ll cook. And we need some wine, of course.”

  His brows pushed together, creating those three vertical lines between them. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. We need
to be completely alert.”

  I fluttered my eyelashes and stuck out my lower lip in a pretend pout. “Just a glass. Just for a toast to the Amadis and whatever it is they have planned.”

  He studied my face. I really wasn’t trying to seduce him. Honestly. I just needed him to disappear for a while . . . just long enough. I smiled warmly at him.

  “Okay,” he finally agreed. “You stay here. I’ll be back in ten or fifteen minutes.”

  I followed him out the door and watched him walk down the driveway, into the brush and disappear. As soon as he was gone, I jumped into the Ferrari and took off, my heart pounding with anxiety and fear. I’d left the keys in there earlier, knowing I needed every second I could get when the opportunity arose. I sped down the highway, clearing as much distance as possible before Owen returned and found me gone.

  Guilt pierced my conscience when I thought of him searching for me. But I had to do this. At least he wouldn’t be left heartbroken and helpless like I’d been when I was left behind. I just hoped he wouldn’t immediately guess where I headed, but would think I went after my family. Because once he knew, he would be there in a flash.

  Chapter 7

  I made the fifty-mile drive to Key West in twenty minutes. I barely remembered any of it—just the gray pavement passing under the car—my mind first on Owen and then on Dorian. My son’s face swam in my vision, so much like his father’s. I ached to hold him one last time. I’m so sorry, little man. Please forgive me. I love you so much. More tears pooled in my eyes, making it difficult to focus on the road, but I reminded myself that regardless of what happened, he would always have Mom and the Amadis. He would be well taken care of. They would provide him a security I couldn’t give him as long as the Daemoni pursued me.

  I forced myself to think about what lay ahead, rather than what I left behind.

  My heart picked up speed the closer I came. My chest squeezed with panic, making proper breathing difficult, and my stomach rolled with anxiety. What the hell am I doing? This was probably the stupidest thing I’d ever done—second only to letting my husband leave me. But I had to do this, if it was the last thing I did for the Amadis, for my son.

 

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