An Amish Family Christmas

by Leslie Gould

  Noelle’s gaze fell back on Greta. What was it about a baby—any baby—that was so magnetizing? She leaned down and brushed her nose over the top of Greta’s head. She smelled of baby shampoo and lotion. Noelle sat up straight again and leaned back against the chair, drawing the baby closer.

  When Greta had finished eating, Noelle burped her and then settled her on her lap. The weight of the baby planted her firmly in the present. For the first time since she saw Jesse in the market, her thoughts weren’t flitting to the past.

  But then Noelle heard footsteps on the back porch. Jesse stepped into the kitchen, his hat in his hand, and froze when his gaze fell on Noelle and Greta.

  CHAPTER SIX

  When the baby saw Jesse, she giggled and then reached out to him.

  “Just a minute, Boppli,” he said and then retreated to the mudroom.

  Greta began to fuss. As much as Noelle wanted to pass her off to someone else, she didn’t want to make a scene. Instead, she began rocking again, which calmed Greta. But when Jesse reentered the kitchen, without his hat and coat, the baby began to cry.

  Noelle stood, balancing the baby in her arms as she did, and nodded toward the rocking chair as she met Jesse’s gaze. “She wants you.”

  Jesse smiled as he approached. “Denki for feeding her.” He gently scooped the baby, along with her bottle, from Noelle. The sensation of his touch against her arms sent a shiver down Noelle’s spine. She ducked her head, but then, as he settled down in the rocker with the baby, her gaze couldn’t help but return to him.

  He was a natural when it came to the little one. Noelle always knew Jesse King would be a good father.

  As Noelle tried not to stare, a group of the men came into the kitchen, ready to go. Their wives thanked Barbara, and then one by one, the group left.

  Dat and Ben, however, stayed in the living room.

  Greta was now “standing” on Jesse’s lap, tugging on his lower lip. He’d laugh and then she’d giggle. Then she began pulling on his beard.

  When Barbara slipped into the living room, Jesse turned the baby around and sat her down on his lap. He splayed his fingers out for her to play with. It was obvious he spent a lot of time with her.

  Jesse met Noelle’s gaze. “How’s your Dat?”

  She looked away. “Better.” She could feel his eyes on her.

  “I’ve been thinking a lot about our conversation last Sunday.”

  Noelle held her breath. If she didn’t respond, would he stop talking?

  Apparently not. “I really did hear you were done with me, that you didn’t want me to come home.”

  “I never said that.” Noelle raised her head. “Who would have told you that?”

  “Actually,” Jesse said as Barbara came back into the room, “Aenti did.”

  “What did I do?” Barbara stopped in the middle of the kitchen, a smile on her face.

  Jesse sighed. “I’m putting you on the spot.”

  Barbara put her hand on her hip, a smile still on her face. “I don’t mind.”

  “You told me Noelle was done with me,” Jesse said, “when I was in Montana.”

  She nodded her head. “Jah, I did tell you that. Everyone knew it.”

  Everyone? Noelle’s heart nearly stopped. She took a raggedy breath and looked at Barbara. “Who told you that’s what I’d said?”

  Barbara tilted her head. “I’m not sure.” She shrugged. “It was common knowledge, I think.” She continued to the stove, grabbed the coffeepot, and then headed back into the living room.

  Noelle struggled to breathe. This so-called common knowledge had ended Noelle’s life as she’d known it and changed her future forever.

  Jesse, his face pale, leaned toward her. “See?”

  Noelle bristled. “If that’s what you were told, why didn’t you write?”

  A pained expression passed over Jesse’s face.

  “Or call? You had to suspect that what your Aenti said could be gossip.”

  He shook his head. “I did write.”

  “I don’t believe you,” she said.

  He shook his head a little. “Well, then it doesn’t really matter, does it? You were so mad the last time I saw you before I left that I believed what I was told.”

  “My Mamm had just had a stroke, and you decided to go to Montana anyway. Of course I was mad.”

  “Jah, but you didn’t do anything to make me think you wanted me to come back.”

  Noelle’s head begin to spin. It all made sense now. She’d just assumed that the girls in Montana were a lot more fun than she was. And he used what Barbara had told him to justify going forward with his life—without Noelle.

  She managed to stand, make her way into the living room, and quietly tell Dat they needed to go home. She couldn’t spend another minute with Jesse King.

  More snow fell Sunday night, and on Monday, after breakfast, Noelle had to shovel her way to the phone shed to call the cardiologist, a Dr. Chris Morrison. She was able to get an appointment for Dat the next Tuesday, so she called Pamela and arranged for a ride. Then she did the laundry in the old wringer washer they’d brought from the Dawdi Haus and hung it out on the line that ran on a pulley from the back porch to the pole in the yard.

  When Dat settled down for a nap, Noelle headed toward Salome’s with the casserole pan for LuAnne and the money from the Christmas Market sales from the week before, including what Holly had given her. Salome did all of the bookkeeping and would need to make the deposits, then she’d pay Noelle her percentage from the business.

  When Noelle arrived at the Dawdi Haus, her heart swelled a little. Would it always feel like home to her? It was where she’d grown up. Where Jesse had courted her. Where she’d nursed her own broken heart. There were so many memories wrapped up here.

  Was the end of their relationship truly due to gossip going around their district? Something Barbara had heard and relayed to Jesse? Noelle felt ill at the thought.

  She knocked again, and Salome finally answered the door but didn’t invite Noelle inside, which seemed odd. Noelle handed her the envelope of money and then asked if she could speak to Moriah.

  “She’s not available,” Salome said, which wasn’t a phrase she normally used either.

  “Would you ask her if she would help me bake tomorrow?”

  Salome pursed her lips. “Are you going to follow Mamm’s plan about the products?”

  “Am I working at the market on Thursday?”

  Salome nodded.

  “I think, perhaps . . .” Noelle’s voice was so low she could barely hear it. She cleared her throat. “I believe I will be selling some of the mini items again.”

  “The business will be ruined by the time my back is healed.” Salome shook her head and then closed the door.

  Stunned, Noelle headed toward the farmhouse. What was going on with Salome? She didn’t want to celebrate Family Christmas. She wanted to be completely in charge of the baking business. She was ignoring Dat’s condition. She’d practically just slammed her door in Noelle’s face. And she was being secretive about something.

  Tears threatened to flow as Noelle took a deep breath and pushed through the back gate of the farmhouse. She’d come the closest she ever had to standing up to Salome, only to be shut down. She traipsed through the snow up to the porch and knocked softly. Perhaps LuAnne was napping while the little ones did.

  However, after a couple of minutes, she came to the door with her two-year-old, Willy, on her hip. Noelle followed her inside, thanking her for the casserole and putting the pan on the counter.

  The farmhouse was over a century old with the original hardwood floors, molding, and fireplace. Ted and Salome had put in new kitchen cabinets and a new woodstove, which still barely kept the drafty place warm. The Dawdi Haus and now the new house were both much better insulated. But LuAnne loved the old house and Noelle loved that about her.

  “I was wondering if you’d heard anything about using the school for Family Christmas?” Noelle asked.


  “I asked when I dropped the kids off,” LuAnne said. “It’s already been claimed for Christmas Day by another family.”

  Noelle’s heart fell. “Any other ideas?”

  LuAnne shook her head. “You could call some of the nearby churches. Like the Mennonite one that’s close by. Maybe they could help us out.”

  Noelle nodded, thinking of what Holly had suggested. She hated making phone calls, but she’d force herself to do it.

  “I have another question to ask you.” She explained about how Dat couldn’t be left alone, at least not for long, and she needed to work at the market this week.

  “I’ll work it out with Salome and Moriah,” LuAnne promised. “I’ll take responsibility to make sure someone is with him.”

  Noelle thanked her. That was a big worry off her shoulders.

  She stopped by the phone shed on the way back and pulled out the phone book, going through the Mennonite church listings. Finally she found the one closest to them. She took a deep breath and dialed the number, then managed to explain her request to the woman who answered.

  “I’m sorry,” the woman said. “Another family is having their gathering at the church that day.”

  Noelle thanked the woman and hung up the phone. She called the other two nearby churches and got the same answer.

  She arrived at the market on Thursday morning with her boxes of mini whoopie pies, half-moon pies, and creamsticks, along with an assortment of regular-sized pies. Holly wasn’t in her booth; instead, Carlos was setting everything up.

  “Where’s my twin?” Noelle asked, surprising herself with how light and cheery she sounded.

  Carlos grinned. “She’s taking her last final.”

  Noelle didn’t know what else to say. She knew a “final” was an exam, but she had no idea how difficult it was or what it really meant.

  “She’s going to take the bus later.”

  Noelle wished she could just watch their booth so Carlos could pick Holly up, but she knew it would be hard to manage if it got busy. And hopefully it would.

  At first it wasn’t, and the morning dragged along. Carlos stepped back to Jesse’s booth. The two must have joked about something because soon they were both laughing. The sound of Jesse’s laughter was like a stab to her heart. She’d missed it.

  On Sunday, on her way home from Ben and Barbara’s with Dat, after the revealing conversation with Jesse, Noelle wondered if Jesse had been out courting someone that day. Once again, he’d find someone he’d have more fun with, someone more outgoing than she was. He’d probably had dinner at some girl’s house or, if she was in a different district, attended church with her. He wouldn’t stay single for long, which would be a blessing. The sooner he was married again, the better—for all of them.

  It was almost noon by the time Holly showed up. First she oohed and aahed over Noelle’s new products. And then she claimed to be good luck because business actually picked up.

  One customer bought three boxes of Noelle’s mini whoopie pies. Then a man bought ten of the half-moon pies, saying he was taking them back to his co-workers. He grinned. “They’ll owe me big-time.”

  Another customer came specifically for a pie and asked Noelle if she could make five more for Christmas. Noelle said she could, as long as the woman could pick them up on Christmas Eve. Noelle wrote down the woman’s order and then gave her the address of the new house. Then she smiled at the woman and said, “Merry Christmas!”

  The woman smiled back and thanked her profusely.

  Noelle wouldn’t tell Salome about the special order. She’d only be critical of another new business idea.

  “What was that about?” Holly asked from across the aisle.

  “Pies for Christmas.”

  “Ooh, you’re branching out.”

  Noelle gave her a sassy smile.

  “And enjoying it. Your customer service has really improved, ya know?”

  Noelle ducked her head at the compliment, but Holly was right. She’d made the new sale without a second thought. And she liked the customer. She was beginning to like all of the customers, to her surprise.

  Jesse walked by her booth in the midafternoon. Noelle was afraid he might stop and talk with her, but he went across the aisle and started chatting with Carlos.

  “Dude,” Carlos said. “Have you still not sold anything?”

  “You mean besides that hope chest that just got hauled out of here?” Jesse responded.

  He’d made one for Noelle all those years ago. She turned her head away from the two, trying to stop the memory, and prayed for a customer.

  “Maybe you should make something smaller—like Christmas ornaments,” Carlos joked.

  That actually wasn’t a bad idea. Although it would be a waste of Jesse’s skills to do that. She turned toward them. “How about little rocking chairs and chests? For kids?”

  Jesse took a step backward while Holly turned toward her, even though she’d been talking to a customer. “Did you just say something? To Jesse?”

  Noelle swallowed hard, trying to think of something witty to say. Nothing came, but thankfully Jesse found his voice. “That’s a great idea. In fact, I just finished a rocking chair for Greta. I’ll try to sell it and make her another one.”

  With Holly back in the booth, Carlos spent most of his time hanging out with Jesse or running errands for Holly. Getting her food from the kitchen area. A glass of water. Bringing another plastic crate of chocolates from the truck.

  By late afternoon, Noelle had sold almost all of the whoopie pies and half-moon pies and most of the creamsticks. She still had five more large pies to sell. When Steve walked by, she handed him a berry one.

  “Yours are the best pies,” he said in a whisper as he pulled a ten and a five from his wallet.

  She shook her head. “Let me give it to you.”

  He grinned. “I insist on paying. My family is going to be ecstatic.” He balanced the pie in one hand and turned his baseball cap around with the other. That seemed to be the sign that he was ready to close up the market for the day.

  A half hour later, Noelle crated the remaining three pies, four boxes of creamsticks, and the two half-moon pies that were left. As she worked, Holly’s phone rang. The girl pushed a button, held it up to her ear, and said, “Hi, Mama! How are you?”

  Then she listened.

  Then she started speaking in Spanish. Finally she said, in English, “I’ll talk to Carlos. TTYS. Love you!”

  A stab of jealousy speared Noelle’s heart. If only she had her mother to talk to now. To tell her about Salome not wanting to do Family Christmas. To confide in her about Jesse coming back. To worry with her about Dat’s possible health problems.

  Shame filled her. It wasn’t right to be jealous. But there had been so many times she had been. Jealous when Moriah married. Jealous of the girl who dated Jesse. Jealous of so many things. She’d been consumed with it.

  Noelle’s heart hurt. Was she going to be that person? One consumed with jealousy? With ill will for others?

  Holly hadn’t packed her candles yet. They still sat on the counter—the four purple ones with the white one in the middle. Hope, joy, peace, faith. And Jesus.

  Jealousy was the opposite of all of those.

  LuAnne was true to her word and coordinated Dat’s care. Paul went over in the mornings, and then after LuAnne had taken her older kids to school, she and the toddler and preschooler spent mornings with Dat. After she fixed his dinner and they’d all eaten, she made sure he was down for a nap and then took the little ones home for theirs.

  Midafternoon, Ted came over and sat with Dat, staying until Noelle returned home from the market. She wasn’t sure why Salome and Moriah weren’t taking turns, but she didn’t ask.

  Thursday sales at the market were good, but Fridays and Saturdays were even better. And she had repeat customers coming back each day for more. Each day Noelle was nearly out of product and went home to bake more during the evening and late into the ni
ght. By Saturday, she was yawning. But it was all worth it when she handed the money over to Salome after Holly and Carlos dropped her off. This time her sister did invite her in.

  “You’re doing better,” Salome said as she shuffled through the bills. It was as close to a compliment as she would get from her oldest sister. Noelle didn’t respond.

  “Is Moriah around?” she asked instead. “I’m hoping she can help with the baking on Wednesday.”

  Salome pursed her lips, and then a rustling down the hall caught Noelle’s attention.

  Moriah appeared in her robe.

  “Are you ill?” Noelle asked.

  “Jah,” Moriah said. “I haven’t felt well for a few days. If I’m feeling better on Wednesday, I’ll come over.”

  Dat didn’t feel up to going to church the next morning. Thankful that the appointment with the cardiologist was only two days away, Noelle tried not to worry about him. He had a cough that was new, and he seemed to be short of breath as he walked from the table to his chair. But at least he hadn’t fallen anymore.

  In the early afternoon, just before Noelle was ready to walk with Dat down the hall to his room, a knock fell on the door.

  Noelle opened it to find Barbara, Ben, Jesse, and Greta on the stoop, bearing soup, bread, and peanut butter spread from church.

  “We figured you could use a break, considering everything you’re doing,” Barbara said. Noelle, determined to be hospitable even though it was difficult seeing Jesse, invited them in, took their coats, and then started a pot of coffee as the men, along with Greta, gathered in the living room. Dat perked up at having visitors and insisted he didn’t need a nap after all.

  “I have pie,” Noelle said to Barbara.

  “Of course you do.” The woman smiled. “The best pie in the county.”

  As Noelle cut into a blueberry one, Barbara said, “I feel so bad about last Sunday, when I realized I’d repeated gossip to Jesse. . . . After you left, we talked about it more, but I can’t, for the life of me, remember who said it.”