I Do (Not)

by T L Dasha

  “Do you need me to arrange your marriage, Aaron? I’m sure one of these investors has a daughter who would suit you.” Mr. Craig prodded.

  “Why would you need to? I'm sure Trevor has plenty of illegitimate children out there who will be happy to sue for a piece of your dynasty.”

  “I'm never that sloppy.” Trevor interjected.

  I sat in silence, feeling like a lowly servant at the king's dinner table. It wasn't my place to say anything, but even I was starting to feel bad for Aaron. I guess all it takes to make a monster seem sympathetic is to meet an even worse one.

  If someone had told me that two hour dinner had been five, I would have believed them. Trevor walked with me to the elevator, then we parted ways for the night. I had never been so relieved to be off work. I stopped by my desk to shut down my computer and gather my things before heading out.

  “Conner.”

  I looked up to see Aaron Craig staring at me. How long had he been there? I didn't even notice him approach.

  “Can I help you, sir?” I barely had the mental energy left to respond.

  “You did good today.” He paused, biting his lower lip for a little longer than an extended second. “I'll see you tomorrow.”

  "Yeah...”

  I got home and collapsed on my bed, taking no time to even kick off my shoes. My life used to be so boring. I like boring. I miss boring.

  I rolled onto my side, then shook my coat off my body. As the fabric fell on the comforter and my wallet flopping out of the pocket, it suddenly dawned on me. I shoved my hand in every hole, searching every crease and corner of the coat...

  What happened to that ring?!

  Chapter 3

  “Good morning, son! How’s your day going?”

  “I'm doing good, Dad.” I clutched my phone to my ear and sunk my face deeper into my pillow, not ready to leave my warm bed for much of anything. I couldn’t imagine what my father could be calling about at six in the morning, but right now I had an extra appreciation for starting my mornings with a friendly voice. ”I just got this big opportunity at work! I think they're finally starting to take me seriously.”

  “I knew my son was going to be a star one day. Speaking of stars, I wanted you to be the first to know-- Lucy and I are getting married! I proposed last night!”

  “Oh, that's great. You and Anna both married within the same month. Ninth time's a charm, right?” I wonder if he could hear my eyes rolling.

  “I didn’t raise you to be rude. You know how troubling my road has been. Not every marriage can be perfect.”

  It might help if you gave it more than a month before you were signing away half of your assets. I don’t know how he has anything left to offer another one.

  “No, you know I'm kidding. Each one has only gotten better. It’s not hard to top Mom number one. I could have done without number three, too.”

  “Yes, but mom number one gave me you and Anna, and mom number three gave you… discipline?”

  “Ha! Your optimism knows no bounds, Dad.”

  “So how about you? Are you seeing anyone? Considering tying the knot soon? You must be fighting off droves of ladies at your age. Why, when I was twenty six, I already had two children and a second wife!”

  Was that supposed to be something to aspire to?

  “No, Dad, we’ve been over this. Marriage is great for you guys, but it’s just not for me. With my luck, I’ll end up committing to someone with a torture chamber and a secret stash of furry porn or something. I’d rather focus on my career for a while.” I always made a point to be vague when my dad quizzed me on relationships. I can’t imagine he hadn’t figured out that I was gay yet, but it was bad enough trying to get him to lay off the marriage concept. I don’t want to know how he’d react to learning he might never have grandkids, either.

  “Career? Jake, you’re a desk clerk. If you found a woman to take care of you--”

  “I can take care of myself.” Here we go again. Way to be on my team, Dad. “Look, I have to go. Tell Linda… Lisa?”

  “Lucy.”

  “Right. LUCY. Tell Lucy I said congrats.”

  I hung up before he could retort. Sometimes I think my father is more in love with the idea of marriage than he is with the people involved. I wonder what he would have said if I told him about Vegas? He probably would have demanded I get it annulled and redo it so he could watch.

  Once I finally found the strength to get out of bed, I slipped into the bathroom of my studio apartment and trudged through my morning routine. I ran the comb through my hair, and let it fall around my face loosely. It was getting long. I’d have to buzz it again one of these days, but I kind of liked the nineties boyband look. I gave my reflection a half-cocked smile, and headed off to work.

  I gave one more quick search for that ring, but it was to no avail. Did I lose it at dinner? At lunch? In the elevator? In… Trevor’s room? I hope it wasn’t Trevor’s room.

  It was 7:00 when I arrived, giving me two hours to get through my morning duties before I had to send Trevor his first wake up call. Two hours of peace.

  After sorting through the day’s expected check-ins and check-outs, I compiled reports for the day prior and shoved it all in a manila folder. I made my way over to Aaron’s office, a room of glass walls that couldn’t hide his unapproachable air. He sat behind his desk, rubbing his temples as if to fight off a splitting headache. I could relate.

  With a few quick taps on the glass, his attention shifted from his frustrated inner musings to my eyes, and he motioned for me to enter.

  “Here are the daily logs for Wednesday.” I pulled the pages from the folder, and placed them neatly on the corner of his desk. “And here is today’s schedule. The luncheon has been moved from 12:30 to 1:00 by request of Mr. Alan Craig, and dinner will be catered in the auditorium instead of the main conference room, also per his request. I’ve already confirmed the changes with the caterers.”

  He looked up at me in silence, as he grabbed the schedule from the pile and set it aside.

  “If there’s nothing else, sir, I’ll be on my way.”

  More silence. I took that as my cue. I turned on my heel, and reached for the door handle.

  “Wait.”

  I took a deep breath before I turned around.

  “Yes sir?”

  “Can I talk to you?”

  “Of course, sir.”

  “You don’t have to be so formal. Let’s pretend I’m not your boss for a moment. Talk to me like you do that scruffy character who you spend your lunches with. Your girlfriend, is it?”

  “Liz? No, she’s just a friend. She works at the bakery down the street, so it’s easy for her to stop by.” If he wasn’t Aaron Craig, I may have thought he was fishing with that question. Although, I’m surprised he noticed who I spend my time with. I didn’t know he paid that much attention to me.

  I looked into those dark eyes as they watched me from across the room. He stood up, and began to approach me. I instinctively hugged the manila folder tightly to my chest, as if it might protect me from being sucked into his intensity.

  “Have you always been this afraid of me?” Aaron frowned as he moved closer. “Do you know why I chose you for this job, Conner?”

  “I don’t. I mean, I guess I was just surprised that you did. I always thought you hated me. Or well, maybe you’re making me spend time with Trevor because you hate me." I laughed trying to lighten the mood— perhaps more for myself than for him. Either way, it seemed to work as he returned a smile.

  “I chose you because, despite all the broken vases, the spilled welcome drinks, the toppled luggage carts, that time you tripped into the Chinese ambassador’s bodyguard and subsequently knocked over the ambassador, that time--“

  “Is there a ‘but’ in here somewhere?”

  “Right. Yes. Despite all that, no matter what I’ve thrown at you, you’ve never quit or given up.” He was still two feet away from me when he stopped short, as if he was waiting outside m
y bubble of personal space, not entering without an invitation. “I know he can be difficult. I don’t know that he necessarily means well. The fact that you even got him to come to dinner tells me that I made the right choice. But…” He paused, biting his lower lip again. I had never noticed that little tick of his before. “I don’t think it’s fair to you to force you to continue to take his… sense of humor. I would hate to lose you because of him. If you’d like, I can find a replacement.”

  Wait. Is he actually… worrying about my feelings? I shook my head both in response and to knock off my disbelief.

  “You gave me this assignment, and I plan to carry it out to the best of my ability. Your trust wasn’t misplaced.” I gave him a reassuring smile, then took a step back toward the door. “Thank you for your concern, sir…” I met his eyes again, this time letting them hold me for just a moment. “No… Thank you for your concern, Aaron.”

  I caught a glint of surprise as I turned to exit his office, breaking our connection. My lips involuntarily curved into a smile. Aaron was kind of cute when he tried to act like a fair and empathetic human being. Confusing. But cute.

  #

  “So she looks way different in person than she does online, but you know-- that’s fine. Everyone uses a few filters here and there. I can forgive that. That was the least of our problems.” Liz could barely speak without laughing. I rested my chin on my hands, and listened from behind my desk. “So get this-- I’m sitting at the bar, and I’m on my second cocktail, hoping I’ll be loose enough to not come off as a total nerd whenever she shows up. Half an hour later, she’s still nowhere to be seen, and I start thinking I would have been better off finding a date the old fashioned way. That’s when the bouncer comes up to me and says ‘Are you Liz? We’ve got a woman outside who’s demanding you come out and meet her.’”

  “Obviously, my first thought is, ‘Why doesn’t she just come inside?’ but I don’t know the situation, so I’m not going to judge. I follow the bouncer outside, and there’s my date, bent over a police car and yelling my name. It turns out, she had gotten in a fist fight with another girl in the line for wearing the same dress as her. I try to duck back inside, but she recognizes me as they’re stuffing her in the car. The last words I hear are ‘Bail me out, and I’ll make it worth your while!’”

  “So… did she?” I loved listening to Liz’s dating stories. She was always so animated as she told them, and it always made me feel better to know her luck was at least as bad as mine.

  “So worth it. I think she’s the one.” She didn’t even make it to the end of her sentence before she broke her straight face. “Sometimes I think all those sci-fi movies where robots destroy the human race are actually clever metaphors for online dating.”

  “What ever happened to that girl with the knitting club? I feel like you’ve had a LITTLE luck.”

  “She literally knitted me a harness for, and I quote, ‘cuddly S&M.’ It’s bleak out there, Jake. BLEAK. Hold fast to that chastity.”

  “Hey now-- I’m not chaste!”

  “Well that’s good to hear.” I jumped out of my skin as I heard Trevor’s voice behind me. He approached my desk with a mischief in his brown eyes, his soft hair stylishly disheveled, and loosening his tie with his finger before pulling it free. He stood right next to Liz, but he didn’t acknowledge her as he leaned in close to me. I glanced at my phone to check the time before giving him my attention.

  “Shouldn’t you be at the luncheon?”

  “I was dismissed. Have you eaten yet?”

  “I just started my lunch break.”

  “Perfect. I’ll take you out.”

  “Excuse me.” Liz pushed into the conversation. “He’s off the clock. Let him spend it how he wants to.”

  “I’m sorry, who are you?” Trevor barely offered Liz more than a sideways glance.

  “This is Liz, one of my oldest friends. Trevor, Liz. Liz, Trevor.” I poked back into the conversation, hoping to keep the hostility to a minimum. There wasn’t even the slightest chance that these two might get along. Both of them looked each other up and down, sizing each other up. As strong as Trevor was, I don’t think he’d stand much of a chance against Liz.

  “I’ll bring him back in one piece, I promise. I’ve got a surprise for him is all.” Trevor patted Liz on the shoulder. The gesture looked friendly, and I honestly think he intended it to be, but I don’t think Liz took it that way.

  “I don’t mind. I’ll see you later, Liz.” I gave her a nod and a smile to reassure her.

  “Right…”

  “I’ll be in the car then. Don’t keep me waiting.” Trevor bowed out, and I started gathering my things.

  “If you need me to teach him some respect real quick, I can go slip into that car with him.”

  I couldn’t hold back a laugh.

  “I’ll be alright. Think of him as a kid who just acts up for the attention.”

  Liz walked with me to the exit, then I climbed into the back of a stretched limousine. Trevor was sitting on a plush bench seat, his legs crossed, and swirling a glass of top shelf whiskey. He tapped the space next to him, and I took a seat.

  “Do you want a drink? God, I needed a drink.” He took a swig, then poured me a glass without waiting for an answer.

  “Have you ever sat through a two hour discussion on tax loopholes? I feel like everyone in that goddamn place is a zombie-- killed by boredom, then back from the dead to inflict the same fate on everyone else. How do you work with these people every day? Don’t they drive you insane?”

  “I'm guessing you've never worked in customer service. It’s an art form. The more murderous my thoughts, the bigger my smile.” I took a sip. It was good.

  “Interesting. It sounds like you know a few things. Maybe we can trade some of our talents later.”

  I looked at him and gave him the sweetest smile my face was capable of.

  Trevor absorbed it for a second then laughed. He positioned his arm behind my shoulders and rested his hand on top my head, ruffling my hair. It had a gentleness that I didn't expect from Trevor.

  “You know, when Aaron hand-picked you to be my baby sitter, I thought for sure you were going to be another stick-up-your-ass bus boy whose favorite hobby was filling out spreadsheets. But you've got some bite behind all of those 'yes sirs'” He downed his whiskey and poured himself another glass. “It's refreshing. I actually don't hate you.”

  “Thanks, I think?”

  “You're welcome.” He pulled me in a little closer, so we were touching shoulder to shoulder. I kept my eyes and my hands trained on my lap, trying to distract myself from my quickening heartbeat. He just stared off into the distance, silent with a grin on his face, as we continued down the road. I couldn't imagine what could be going on in that head of his.

  The limousine finally came to a stop, and I crawled out of the car to see lavish department stores, every window filled with stylish mannequins, every wall painted with runway models, and every step lined with gold.

  “Let's get you a new suit.” He slid on a pair of sunglasses, and ran a hand through his hair, letting it fall naturally over his shades. He turned to me and offered his arm. “We've only got an hour. Let's make it count.”

  “I don’t know about this.” I hesitated to oblige. “Trevor, this is too much. I can barely even afford to window shop at these stores.”

  “No, I have to insist.” Trevor shook his head. “If not for me, you’d still have that dollar store get up. Consider this my way of paying back a debt.”

  I was at a loss for how to protest.

  “Fine. But just one. Nothing else.”

  “Sure. Just one.”

  My lunch break became a whirlwind of plush velvet seats, men in suits waiting on me hand and foot, silk, fine leathers, and french pastries. Trevor was suddenly the perfect gentleman, standing patiently to the side as I was fitted and pampered. I pretended not to notice the price tag when I settled on a suit. He simply didn't care.

  “It'
s a work expense. Stop worrying about it,” he shrugged, noticing the stress in my eyes. He sat on the bench across from me on the ride back. “Haven’t you ever had someone buy something nice for you before?”

  “It cost so much, I’m worried about even wearing it!”

  “Come on, I’m sure a handsome thing like you has had a few admirers over the years.” He leaned back into his seat and cocked his head back. “I guess you really aren’t in bed with my brother, after all.”

  I’ve never met a man so adept at ruining a nice moment. I frowned.

  “Aaron isn’t gay, is he?” If he was going to keep making these implications, the least he could do was clarify. Maybe there was more to Aaron than I had realized.

  “Aaron Craig, heir to the Craig fortune is whatever father dearest wants him to be. Aaron Craig, my little brother, well… I’ll just say we weren’t raised to deny ourselves.” He looked satisfied with his own implication. “Do you have any siblings, Jake?”

  “Just one. An older sister.”

  “Are you two close?”

  “I'd say so. We had kind of a chaotic childhood after my parents got divorced, so we promised to always be each other’s rock. We disagree on a few things, especially when it comes to relationships, but the core values are there, you know?”

  I wanted to ask why he and Aaron hated each other so much, but Trevor seemed to be softening a bit right now, and I didn't want to push my luck. He would tell me on his own if he wanted to.

  “I'm a little jealous.”

  “Of me?” How... What... Why?

  “I wish I had relationships like that. It's easy to grow apart from your siblings when you get older.” There was a melancholy to his voice. He turned his head to look out the window.

  “You know Aaron is my half brother, don't you? Or well, what do you call it when your dad fucks your mom's sister? A three-quarter brother?”

  “I didn't know that, no.”

  He looked surprised.

  “Really? I thought everybody knew that. It was all over the tabloids not too long ago. They did a good job of keeping it under wraps up until good ol' pops left both of them for a younger model. I guess women will put up with a lot of things for money.”