“We, all of us here, love you and we’re gonna take care of you and protect you no matter what. Ya see these here guys, once they put on them colors, they become a part of this here family.” He spread his arms indicating the entire room. “And if they pick some girl to be their ol’ lady, she becomes a part of us too. And ya see…Baby…I chose YOU.
We don’t care how much money you got or how fucked up your folks are….you’re a part of us now. You can walk proud; you’re the ol’ lady of the leader of Satan’s Brood.”
The entire gang was silent when Red spoke. Now that he’d finished, each of the girls walked over and hugged May, and the guys came over and nodded. May felt welcomed. In a strange way, she was warm and wanted as she had never been before. And it did feel like a real family. Now she understood what Jill meant by being a part of something.
“You already know Jill?” Red asked, reintroducing Jill to May.
“Yes,” May answered.
Jill smiled. “Welcome, little sister. Red says you’re okay, so I guess you must be okay.” She winked at May and Red gave her a nod of approval.
“That fight last night between the guys last night was a real nightmare. I wouldn’t think that you would fight amongst yourselves,” May said.
“Sure, we fight sometimes, Baby. It don’t mean nothin.’” We’re tight, we’re family, and when the shit comes down we stick together. Can you dig it?” Red smiled, and the fight of the previous night seemed to be less threatening to May. If she tried she could make believe it was almost like siblings bickering.
In the morning when the men left May went into the bathroom and took her clothes off. She washed her underwear and bra, and scrubbed her body with a washcloth. It felt a little strange and uncomfortable to have wet clothes against her skin, and she longed for a shower or a bath, but feeling cleaner having done this, she went back to the main area of the clubhouse and took out a cigarette. Careful to avoid the burnt spoons, hypodermic needles, and smoked-down roaches, she sat at a small two-top wooden table and used a half-empty beer can as an ashtray.
“You’re here to babysit me again?” She smiled at Jill, who’d just awakened and sat down beside her.
“Hell, I don’t mind, I guess you could say I kinda like ya. By the way, Red promised he’s gonna get us some food today. He’ll probably send Hog or one of the guys with something to eat, but that will be cool, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, I’m so hungry I could die,” May said.
“By the way, it was awful nice of you to share your hamburgers and fries with me last night. George forgot to bring me anything.”
“No big deal,” Lily said.
“Well, anyway, thanks.”
“Sure.” May smiled.
“They left us some chips and beer if you want.”
“Yeah I guess, but beer in the morning might make me puke,” May said.
“Don’t make me laugh… You’ll get used to it.”
Jill took a bottle opener from the table and popped the top off a bottle. And then looked farther into the refrigerator. “Look, there’s a Coke in the fridge. Red musta got it for you.”
May took the Coke bottle and opened it. They shared a bag of barbeque potato chips.
“You look like you’re more mellow today. That’s good. You’ll like it here, you’ll see. It’s really pretty cool,” Jill said, crunching on the chips.
“Where do the guys go during the day?”
“Shit, most of ‘em work in garages, fixing or customizing cars or bikes. Some don’t, but this place is always available if they don’t got no place to live. It’s ours. Red bought it.”
“It was a farmhouse that was once used as a mechanic’s garage, right?”
“Yeah, I think that’s right. That would be my guess, anyhow.”
“Where’d he get the money?”
“Drugs, I guess,” Jill said, and shrugged her shoulders. “Don’t know for sure, but the gang deals a lot.”
“It could use air conditioning. It’s hot as hell in here.”
“Yeah it sure could. Still, the summer’s much better than the winter. Last winter when it got below zero outside, I had to come here, and I ‘bout froze my ass off,” Jill said as she lit a cigarette. “I’ll take the heat before the cold anytime.”
“Yeah, I’d have to agree with you,” May said.
Red really digs you. I bet if you asked him, he’d get us a fan that would make it a little better in here.”
“I hope he knows that I don’t want to live here. I hope he’ll let me leave.”
“I wish you didn’t feel like you was prisoner. I wish you liked it here. Hell, you and me are friends, and the guys all like you. And well, you got Red real interested. What more could you want? And don’t worry, he aint gonna make you stay here when it’s cold outside. If he’s still into you, he’ll get us heat.”
“That’s encouraging.”
“There you go being a smart ass again,” Jill said.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to be. And, especially, not to you. You’ve been nothing but nice to me.”
“Give us a chance, May. You’ll see living the gang life is a pretty good life.”
Chapter 3
That night when Red pulled his bike around to the side of the club house and slid into the parking place where he always left it, May was waiting for him.
“Hey, I know you wanted some food today, and I didn’t have a chance to send nobody here with it.”
“It’s okay, Red. I’m just wondering when I can leave.”
“Let’s don’t start talking about that as soon as I fuckin’ get here, okay? You’re bringing me down.”
“Sorry. But I want to be clear that I can’t stay here forever.”
“Don’t you think I fucking know that? Now, looky here… I brung you a present.” Red took a black leather jacket out of the box on the back of his bike. “This is for you, from me.” His smile was warm.
When he looked at her, she saw something in his eyes that she didn’t see when he looked at anyone else. It was a kind of softness, a gentleness, that if he’d been questioned about, he would surely have denied.
“Thanks,” May said and she took the jacket. “That’s really sweet of you.”
“It’ll be good for winter on the bike.”
“Yeah.” May smiled at Red and wondered if she was still going to be there with him when the winter came. The idea gave her anxiety.
“Listen I sent Hog and Rut to the store. They’re gonna bring back plenty of food, so you’ll have it here if you get hungry during the day.”
“Red…” She hesitated almost afraid to ask. “I know you don’t want to discuss this, but I have to. I have to know. Am I a prisoner here?” Trembling, and trying to hold back the tears, she looked into his eyes.
“Fuck, no.” He looked down at the ground and for several moments there was silence. His feet shuffled for a moment, and if it weren’t for his fierce appearance, he resembled an insecure schoolboy. “Do you want me to take you back to the Psychedelic Circus…or home to your folks…or what?” Red asked.
When he looked at her, his eyes were soft and sweet, and she found him endearing.
“I want to call my mother, Red. I miss her. I want to go to a phone and talk to my mom. Or to hear my father’s voice. Do you understand?” Tears filled her eyes and she couldn’t stop them as they poured overflowing down her cheeks.
“Hey… Hey… What’s this all about? Come on. Listen, I mean fuck…shit…don’t cry. If you want to go to a phone booth, I’ll fuckin’ take you.” Red put his hand gently on her shoulder.
“Can we go now?”
“Yeah, if that’s what you want. Sure. I mean, yeah, fuck…yeah. Come on,” Red said.
It took a half hour on the highway. As they rode, May thought about how confused she was. She liked Red. Perhaps she could even learn to love him. His gentle side tore at her heart strings. When he was kind, she could see the abandoned little boy in his eyes. The one Jill told her a
bout. But she wanted to go home. Even if she continued to see Red, she wanted to go back home to live. She missed her family even as messed up as they were.
Red turned the bike off the highway and onto the main road of a small town. A clothing store with children’s clothes in the window stood at the corner, beside it a diner that offered a burger and fries with a small Coke for 59 cents. Down the road they came to an outside phone booth. It was a tall, rectangular box made of hard transparent plastic. The phone was attached to the wall. Only one person could fit inside at a time. Through the clear plastic Red would be able to watch May easily as she made her call. She got off the bike. Before he let her go, he took her arm.
“Ya got any money for the phone?” Red asked.
“Yeah, I’m okay.” She took a dime out of her purse and showed him, then she went into the booth. Dropping the dime into the slot at the top of the black pay phone, she dialed the number: 677-9244. Her heart pounded as she listened to the ring. Each ring seemed endless. She held her breath. One ring. This was her only chance. Red was unpredictable. At another time he might refuse to allow her to call. Two rings. What if nobody was home?”
Dear God, please make someone pick up. Three rings.
Please, Mom, Dad, please be there. Her hand shook so hard she could barely hold the receiver.
She almost hung up before her mother answered on the fourth ring.
“Hello,” her mother said.
“Mommy, it’s me.” Tears spilled from her eyes, and her throat closed with emotion at the sound of her mother’s voice.
“May, where are you?”
“It’s a long story, Mom.”
“Are you all right?”
“Yes, I’m okay. I want to come home. I need you to come and pick me up. I’m in Gurnee. I’ll get you the exact address. Hold on a second.” May looked out the window at the butcher shop across the street. “Mom, the address here is 2248 W. Marrion Ave. It’s a butcher shop. I’ll wait for you in the front. Okay?”
A long silence followed. May heard a faint ticking in the phone line.
“Mommy? Are you there?” May asked, her voice hoarse with desperation.
“Honey….” her mother hesitated, and then continued. “It’s just not a good time right now. Your father is gone; he left me. And I’m, well, I’m kind of seeing someone. A real nice guy. He’s been staying here.
The problem is he doesn’t know anything about you. I never told him I had a kid. Maybe things would be better if you called again in a couple of weeks. It’ll give me time to talk to him, to break it to him gently. I mean it’s just the wrong time for you to come home. I hope you understand. And…honey, please don’t come here without calling… It might just ruin everything. You see, I’ve got real high hopes for this one…”
May’s heart beat wildly; her throat felt like gravel. She thought she heard a click.
“Mom… Mom?” May whispered.
She thought she heard another click.
“Mom!” she cried out.
The phone went dead.
May slid down the side of the phone booth until she sat on the ground. The receiver dropped from her hand and dangled lifelessly. She wrapped her arms around her knees and pulled them tightly to her chest.
An operator’s nasal voice projected through the line.
“Operator. This is the operator… If you’d like to make a call, please hang up…”
Just a few feet away she saw Red, straddled across his motorcycle. He was watching her, assessing the situation. May wished she could stand up and smile to hide the truth from him. But he was not blind. He saw that the call had not gone well.
Holding a cigarette between his thumb and first finger, he lit it and sucked the smoke in deeply. Then he walked over and knocked on the Plexiglas door.
“You all done?” he asked, his voice soft, gentle.
May stared out the door of the booth. She refused to believe her mother had abandoned her. It was like everything around her was a movie…not real. She was in a daze. Above her a black crow let out a loud caw. It was hard to accept that she was unwanted and unloved, and even though she always knew it, the reality stung her heart like a snakebite. May shivered, as bead of sweat trickled slowly down her shirt and between her breasts.
Red knocked again.
May stood and slid the door open.
Just then, a young couple walked by, holding hands. They laughed at something one of them said. Then they noticed May and Red standing by the phone booth. The man and woman stopped laughing. After the man whispered something to his partner, she shook her head and they hurried away.
“What happened?” Red’s asked May, his voice tender with concern.
“Nothing… Do you have a place where I can take a shower?” May asked him, wiping her tears from her face with the back of her hand.
“Yeah, sure, my place.”
“Can we go there?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. I’m gonna go over to the five-and-dime across the street first. I wanna buy some shampoo and stuff.”
“I got shampoo.”
“I want my own. I need deodorant and some other stuff too,” May said.
“Yeah, okay. You want some money?”
“No, I got it,” May said.
“Ya sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“Far out, I’ll move the bike out front and wait for ya.” His hand twitched as he turned the handlebars of the motorcycle to turn around. She knew he would be guarding the front of the store when she came out. Even if she wanted to run, she couldn’t. Well, it didn’t matter. She had no plans to bolt; she had no place to go.
May took her last fifty dollars and walked across the road to the five-and-dime. She scanned rows of cheap cosmetics, goldfish in a large aquarium, clothing, and sundries. Attracted to a lipstick in a modern shade of pale white, she picked up the tester and smeared it on her lips. Then she walked over to look in the mirror to see how she looked. Her eyes were still red from crying. I really look like hell, she thought. Taking a tissue from the store display, she wiped the lipstick away. “I’ll be all right,” she whispered to herself, and squared her shoulders. Since her mother didn’t want her, she would show her parents that she didn’t need them. She would make it on her own.
After buying shampoo, a toothbrush and toothpaste, cigarettes, gum, soap, tee shirts, and underclothes, she had thirty-five dollars left. May counted the change twice. She had to be careful. This was all the money she had in the world, and until she found a job, it was all that she would have.
After stuffing a thick piece of pink bubble gum into her mouth, she headed outside.
Chapter 4
Red emptied the last swig from the silver flask he always kept hanging across the handle bar on his bike. The taste of whiskey, rich and familiar, like an old friend, burned the back of his throat.
May walked toward him; she was coming out of the five-and-dime. As he watched her, he was filled with pride. She sure was pretty, young too. What a prize. And, hell, he thought, the kid looked good on the back of his bike. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but there was something different about this girl. She was distant in a way, proud, and either she was stupid or she was incredibly brave. He couldn’t decide which, but she wasn’t afraid of him. It was like he couldn’t break through to her, couldn’t make her want him, couldn’t make her beg like all the others. It stung his pride. He knew she didn’t love him. And for some inexplicable reason, it seemed that even when they were apart and he was busy with other things, he still couldn’t’ stop thinking about her. Well, he decided, that would probably disappear after he fucked her. Once she lay beneath him, all of her mystique would be stripped, and she’d be just another naked girl begging for his affection. For the affection of the leader of the Brood.
From across the street, an eighteen wheeler belched, sending out black billows of smoke stinking up the street with diesel fuel. While on the other side of the building, Red spotted a long-haire
d, pimple-faced teenage boy shooting glances of admiration at May’s backside. Outraged, Red jumped off the motorcycle. No man would disrespect him by copping a stare at his woman. Did he look weak? So weak that a good-for-nothing skinny kid would have the nerve to look at his woman?
“What the fuck you lookin’ at?” Red bounded toward the youth. The boy started backing away with his hands raised.” Nothing, man, nothing at all.”
“I said, what the fuck you lookin’ at, motherfucker?” Red came closer.
May was just coming out of the store when she what was happening. She stopped cold. The pimple-faced kid was cowering. He’d begun to cry. Then before she could say a word, Red was upon the boy.
May stood glued to the sidewalk. Her hand flew up, covering her mouth. She stifled a scream as Red punched the kid in the stomach. The boy gasped and doubled over. Red turned to hit him again.
May knew she had to move; she had to stop him. She ran over and grabbed Red’s arm. “Red, don’t.” She tried to hold on to his forearm, but he was too strong and he shook loose of her.
Again she reached for him, trying to contain him before he hurt the boy badly.
Red’s eyes were pools of black oil as he pushed May away. She was small and thin, and the force of his anger sent her flying into the side of the brick building. She heard her shoulder crack and she winced in pain, slipping to the ground.
“Don’t fucking tell me what to do, little girl…ya hear me?” Red walked over to May. He bent down his face was so close to hers that she could smell the whiskey on his breath. With both hands he shook her; then he pointed his finger just inches from her face.
He looked like a fire had begun to roar in his eyes and he was aflame with rage. “Did you hear me?” He bellowed from the depth of his soul.
Her eyes were wide as she stared back at him. The world began to twist and twirl then fill with darkness as she was caught in the tornado of his anger.
“I said, did you fucking hear me?” He grabbed her arm again, lifting her off the ground. Red’s grip was hard enough to bruise her.
“Yes… Yes… I heard you.” Her knees trembled and she slid back down to the ground.
A Time of Anarchy- Mayan's Story Page 4