by M. Garzon
Hades stopped dead in front of the liverpool. I wasn’t taken by surprise since he’d been backing off on our approach. I let him drop his head and take a look before circling around and trying again. He overjumped it massively, nearly throwing me out of the tack, but I grabbed his mane and managed to stay on and finish. Our refusal meant no ribbon in the class, but I was proud of him anyway. Monica and Neil, somewhat to my surprise, were understanding when I explained the situation. And in our final class, we strutted out of the ring with first place.
The buzz over Hades’ win preceded us home, and Karen and I arrived Monday evening to find many hands eager to help us unload. Once everything was put away and Hades had magnanimously accepted congratulations, everyone went up to the viewing lounge above the arena. Its couches and chairs were more comfortable than the tackroom. We had ordered pizza to celebrate and everyone pressed me for details while we ate.
“I still can’t believe how awesome Hades was,” Julia enthused as she settled down with her slice. I grinned at her, happy that I had at least one friend there to share the moment.
“You’re on your way to the big time, girl,” Karen said.
The excitement in the air was palpable. I felt like I was on the verge of putting Shady Lane on the map — again. I’d been here three years before with Blaze; it felt different now, less innocent, but the excitement was just as real.
Dec came in and helped himself to a slice of pizza. His gaze traveled from person to person, following the snippets of conjecture and excited anticipation about where Hades and I would go from here, but he didn’t say anything. When his eyes came to rest on me they held something akin to frustration. Suddenly I wasn’t hungry anymore. I put my pizza down, feeling deflated. I couldn’t even join in the happy chatter about my own future, feeling as I did that Dec disapproved of it. It hurt — everyone else was happy for me. Why couldn’t the people who mattered most stand behind me?
I was silent as I walked to the house with Dec and Karen afterward.
“Make sure you hang your ribbon from the Open class in the barn,” Karen said.
Dec stopped dead, and Karen turned toward him with a questioning look. Dec took one lurching step and grabbed her by the shoulders.
“You let her ride in the Open class?” he roared.
Karen’s head drew back, but the flash of shock that crossed her face was quickly replaced by a scowl. “Take your hands off me.” Her voice was perfectly flat.
Dec let go, but he didn’t back off.
“I guess my sister made the right decision.” Karen eyed him speculatively.
Dec flinched. He took half a step backward, but his expression was still hard. “You had no business putting Téa into such a big class, especially at an A show.”
Karen didn’t waver. “You should give her some credit, Dec. That’s the class she won.”
Dec’s glare turned to me, but he didn’t say anything so I hurried inside. I called Jaden as soon as I got to my room. We’d been texting steadily during the show, but this was the first time I’d heard his voice since our conversation about school.
“Congratulations, querida,” he said warmly.
Something inside me unspooled. “I miss you. When can I see you?”
“Not before next weekend, sadly. I could certainly use the stress release.”
I laughed. “You don’t have to talk in code, Jaden. I know what you’re after.” We hung up after a long conversation, and I wondered how I could have been so upset the week before. Jaden was the best thing that had ever happened to me. A small difference of opinion couldn’t change that.
Three
My joy over the show invigorated me as I faced my final weeks of school, but three days later I was exhausted again. Chuck and Shannon stayed after class one day and we worked on end-of-term projects together.
After a couple of hours, Shannon stretched and checked her watch. “I’m done for today. Let’s go to the pub.”
“I can’t,” I said automatically. “I have to get back to the barn.”
“Oh come on!” Chuck urged. “I work in my family’s vet clinic too, but not every day — what are you, a slave? Be a rebel! Take some time off.” He grinned, daring me.
“Fine,” I grumbled.
“Nice party face,” Shannon said, laughing.
I followed them, smiling. In truth, it would be nice to take an evening off, although the guilt set in almost immediately. I wasn’t teaching that night or I wouldn’t have been able to stay at school; what I was skipping out on was my own riding. My career, my dream. It’s only one night, I reasoned. Surely the added relaxation I’d feel would benefit me?
We wandered into the campus pub and doffed our jackets, tossing them onto one of the wooden chairs surrounding a scarred table. We each ordered a beer, something I almost never had. I rarely drank alcohol, and I didn’t know what else to order. Plus, it was cheap.
We shared a plate of nachos, and the time passed surprisingly fast as we talked about our professors, courses, and classmates.
“You never told me why you introduced yourself as Charlie the first time we met,” I said to Chuck. Shannon had gone to the washroom.
He picked the last piece of nacho cheese off the plate. “I’ve been called Chuck all my life. I wanted to try something cooler for once.”
“Because ‘Charlie’ is the epitome of cool,” I said, poker-faced.
“Hey, no hating the name,” Chuck said. His brown eyes were smiling, though, and I smiled back at him. His easygoing manner and lightheartedness reminded me of Seth, and I felt a sharp pang of loneliness for my brother.
Shannon plopped herself back into her chair. She and Chuck began discussing the finer points of invertebrate anatomy, but my brain was buzzing pleasantly and I didn’t even try to follow. A minute later I felt my shoulder being shaken. I realized my head was on the table and lifted it slowly.
“You’re a regular prizewinning drinker, aren’t you?” Chuck laughed.
I blinked as I realized that I’d fallen asleep, then crossed my arms on the table and rested my forehead on them. “One beer and I’m asleep? I’m a disgrace to students,” I groaned.
“Actually it was more like half a beer,” Chuck said, holding up my glass to show me. He grinned. “I know just what you need. Be right back.”
I shrugged and turned to Shannon. “What did I miss?”
She shook her auburn-and-grey head. “Not much. We were just talking about how the reality of university isn’t quite what we’d thought. It’s so much work — I took out all kinds of loans to come here and I’m getting mostly Bs even though I’m putting everything I’ve got into studying. Bs won’t get me into vet school.” She looked worried.
I nodded in sympathy. It was definitely harder to get good grades now than it had been in high school, but I couldn’t say I was putting everything into studying. I had other priorities.
Chuck was back minutes later. He dropped a bag on the table in front of me. “You owe me.”
“What’s this?” I peeked inside and found a can of Red Bull and a small bag of chocolate-covered espresso beans.
“I wouldn’t get through a single course without them,” Chuck assured me.
It couldn’t hurt to try, I reasoned, and broke open the bag of espresso beans on the spot. I passed it around and we each ate a few before saying our goodbyes.
Those chocolate-covered espresso beans became my best friends. They were on my desk, next to the Red Bull, when Jaden came over that weekend.
Jaden picked up the can, his brows rising ever so slightly. “What’s this?”
“It’s Red Bull. It tastes awful, but-”
He interrupted me. “I meant, what is it doing here?”
I looked at him blankly. “What do you think? I’m drinking it. It helps me stay awake.”
He gave his head a small shake. “Trust me, Téa, you don’t want to start down the slippery slope of stimulant use.”
“How would you know? You’re never
tired.” I sounded a bit petulant even to my own ears. He put the can down and moved closer to me.
“Yes, my energy’s all natural. But there’s a limit to how much any body can give, and I’ve pushed those limits in the past. I tried stimulants for a while, and I’m telling you it’s not worth it. They’ll damage you, and you’ll end up crashing harder than if you’d never used them.”
“Jaden, it’s just Red Bull. We’re not talking speed here. Plus, I won’t be drinking it long enough for it to be a problem, I just need it to get through exams.”
“Well, I need you to stay healthy, so please — no more.”
I cocked my head and fixed him with a look. “You’re not the boss of me, Jaden Foster.”
His mouth pulled sideways, like he was trying not to smile, and he reached past me for the can. He loped out the door and I heard him pouring it down the bathroom sink. I sighed, stifling my annoyance. I didn’t have the heart to argue with him, not when I hadn’t seen him all week, but I quickly slipped my chocolate-covered coffee beans into a drawer.
* * *
I went into a frenzy of studying for exams. The last one was biochemistry, which I’d been dreading, but it went okay and afterward, Chuck, Shannon and I celebrated with expensive coffees and brownies.
I woke up the next morning and stretched contentedly in bed. The sun was pouring around the edge of my white curtains, promising a beautiful spring day, and I had four whole months to devote to nothing but horses and riding. Life was good.
In the afternoon our vet, Kathy, came to check on the pregnant Gracie. While Stephanie brought her horse out, Kathy lugged in a small, heavy-looking grey machine.
“It’s a portable ultrasound,” she explained. “Do you have something I could set it on?”
I went and grabbed an end table from the viewing lounge and Kathy carefully placed the ultrasound on it. She opened it and lowered a keyboard. The front part of the machine showed a small black screen. I watched with interest as she ran a bulbous wand over Gracie’s very full belly, but all that showed on the screen was a grey blur. Kathy repositioned the ultrasound wand, and all of a sudden the amorphous blur coalesced into a shape.
“Oh!” Stephanie exclaimed from her position by Gracie’s head.
I went over and took the leadrope from her. “Why don’t you go get a better look?”
I stroked Gracie’s face gently while Stephanie, Lisa, and various students oohed and aahed over the ultrasound image. To be honest, the thought of another creature growing inside Gracie’s body made me feel somewhat sick. Gracie had had the usual ultrasound a few weeks after being bred, but that one had served to confirm the pregnancy and make sure she wasn’t carrying twins. Twins are very rare in most horse breeds but when they occur they present a huge problem, because only about one set in ten thousand survive. A mare’s uterus isn’t designed for nourishing two fetuses, so usually one or both twins will die, and sometimes the mare will as well. We knew Gracie was only carrying one baby, so this ultrasound was more for Stephanie’s benefit, as she was worried about the myriad things that could go wrong.
“See?” Kathy turned to Stephanie. “Everything looks fine.”
“Oh, I’m so glad,” Stephanie said. She was smiling from ear to ear.
Kathy’s grin moved to me. I thought it must be nice for her to deliver happy news once in a while, since she spent so much time dealing with illness. “Make sure you keep giving her the supplements I prescribed, and you’ll have to start increasing her grain soon. The fetus will take minerals from her bones and protein from her muscles if it has to.”
I nodded, and Kathy packed up to leave while everyone else patted Gracie and offered her congratulations.
“This is perfect,” Stephanie sighed happily. “We’ll have our babies around the same time.”
My jaw dropped.
“What?” Lisa whirled around, looking delighted.
Stephanie opened her jacket and moved her hands over her belly in a gesture as old as time. “I’m pregnant too.”
I rested my face against Gracie’s while the flurry of excitement and congratulations swirled around Stephanie. After a few minutes people wandered off chattering and I felt Stephanie beside me.
“I’ll put her away.” She took the leadrope from my hand.
“I wondered why you’d breed Gracie when she was doing so well in the show ring,” I said. The reason was clear now.
“It was time,” Stephanie said simply. “I’ve been with my boyfriend for years, and I’m thirty-seven. We couldn’t wait much longer.”
I nodded thoughtfully. I rarely thought about age, but I supposed that for some things, age mattered.
“Well, um, congratulations,” I said awkwardly. I found it a bit hard to look at her now that I knew there was an alien being growing inside her body, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t happy for her.
* * *
Work picked up as the weather got warmer, and we officially hired Catherine. The pale girl with the long dark hair had been my student for years, and she was thrilled with her new job as riding instructor. Gran pitched in a lot too, knowing that once the elementary and high schools let out we’d have no time for anything other than lessons and shows.
The first weekend in May was brightened by a visit from Jaden. He stepped out of his car and I bounded across the sunlit parking area to meet him, wishing I could throw myself into his arms. We practically ran to the house; he pulled me inside and had barely closed the door before his mouth met mine. I had just wrapped my arms around him when I felt a presence next to us, and we turned to find Dec watching us with narrowed eyes.
Jaden squeezed my hand. “We’ve waited long enough, Dec. We’re done pretending,” he said quietly.
I stiffened, but Dec just nodded. “You’re right.” When he went outside I turned to Jaden, wide-eyed.
He grinned at me. “What? You didn’t think we’d live in hiding forever, did you?”
I sobered slightly. “I don’t suppose your mom’s had a change of heart?” My Aunt Paloma was dead set against Jaden and me dating, since we were step-cousins. He gave a half-shrug, as though it didn’t matter, although we both knew it did.
We headed out to the barn. As we descended the house’s wide front steps Jaden draped his arm around me. I faltered, shocked.
“No more pretending, remember?” He squeezed me against him.
I took a deep breath. “Right.”
At the barn door I balked, suddenly nervous. Our family had been horrified when they had discovered our relationship, and Dec had sworn us to secrecy until they’d had time to accept the idea. With the exception of Jaden’s mom, they’d all grudgingly come to terms with our involvement, but other than family, only our closest friends knew. The students and boarders at our barn had no idea about us, and I was reluctant to meet more disapproval.
Jaden turned to face me. He ran his hands along the collar of my light jacket, from the back to the front, then curled his fingers into it and pulled me against him. He kissed me hard.
“I love you, Téa. We don’t owe anyone any explanations.” He kept his eyes locked on mine until I gave a small nod, then tucked me under his arm again. I wrapped my arm around his waist and we walked into the barn that way, as though we did it every day.
Dec was in the tackroom talking to Catherine when we stepped in. Her mouth dropped open at the sight of us, and her eyes got round, but after a second she tore them away from us and back to Dec, who barely spared us a glance. My arm tightened around Jaden as we moved into the barn proper. For a second I wished it wasn’t a weekend, since it meant the barn was full of people, but then I decided it was best to get this over with all at once.
Alan came down the aisle, pitchfork in hand. “Jaden,” he said, nodding. His eyes lingered for a second on Jaden’s arm, still curled around my shoulder, and then he smiled at me and went on his way. As we rounded the corner into the boarder aisle there was a sudden hush. Several boarders shot glances our way, and some were frown
ing. I felt my face get hot, and it was all I could do not to hide it against Jaden.
To my relief, Lisa came over and began discussing her gelding’s diet with me as though nothing unusual had happened.
Jaden excused himself. “I’m going to get my tack,” he said. He dropped a light kiss on my head before striding away.
I turned back to Lisa, who didn’t look surprised. “Did you know?” I blurted.
She nodded. “I have three teenage daughters, Téa. I know what young love looks like.” She smiled at my stunned look. “I’ve known how Jaden feels about you since the day that poor boy was tearing his hair out, watching Marty buck around the ring with you. But I didn’t know whether you knew.”
“I didn’t back then,” I admitted, feeling like a bit of a dolt. Maybe all my worrying had been for nothing. But as I moved around the barn that day some of the looks that came my way were less than friendly.
“That wasn’t nearly as bad as I was afraid it would be,” I said to Jaden after dinner. Dec and Gran had gone for a walk, and once the dishes were done I towed Jaden upstairs, hoping to connect with Seth online. But when I opened my laptop I froze.
“What is it?” Jaden asked from behind me.
“Tom Morin. He tried to add me as a Facebook friend,” I said in disbelief. Tom had been briefly obsessed with me the previous year.
Jaden came and looked over my shoulder, his arm wrapping tightly around me as if to protect me from this cyber-menace. “I hope you blocked him.”
I nodded but stayed silent. I didn’t resist when Jaden pulled me from my chair and sat us both on the bed. He held me against him and stroked my hair. “Don’t worry, querida. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“I’m not worried. I just think it’s sad that this stranger who doesn’t even know me is desperate to be my friend.”
He frowned. “I’m glad he’s far away. I start my new job tomorrow, and if the tales are true, articling will consume my life for the next several months. I don’t want to worry over your safety when I’ll have so little time to be with you.”