Renaissance Man

by M. Garzon

  I felt almost dozy on the drive back. I hadn’t slept all night, and it was five in the morning when I finally approached home. The sun would be rising soon; I had to move fast. I parked on the road, out of sight of the house, and quickly lowered the trailer’s ramp. I went to the front and climbed in through the small door to untie Hades. He gave me a small push with his nose and pricked his ears forward.

  “Yeah, I’m happy to see you too,” I murmured as he backed slowly down the ramp. I walked him up our driveway, less careful than I’d been at Rodney’s. Maybe it was because I knew Blue’s hearing wasn’t good, or maybe I was just too tired to care. A few horses whinnied greetings as we came in, but mostly it was quiet. I quickly put Hades in his stall.

  “Sorry I can’t give you any hay, it would look suspicious,” I said as I closed his door.

  I jogged back to the trailer. My legs felt rubbery but I forced myself to keep moving. I drove to the polo grounds, fast this time, wanting to get there before the grooms were up and feeding the horses. I parked the trailer — leaving the keys in the ignition — and was driving my own car home as the sun poured itself like molasses over the horizon.

  I was careful to park back at the end of the barn before I dragged myself inside. I slunk upstairs, dropped my shoes on the floor, and crawled into bed with all my clothes on, giving a sigh of deep gratitude as my head sank into the pillow. Thank goodness it was Monday; Alan would feed and there were no lessons to teach. I could get a few hours of sleep.

  As if. Just over an hour later there was a knock on my door.

  “What?” I mumbled hoarsely.

  “We’re feeding this morning, remember?” Dec’s voice.

  No, I didn’t remember. “Why?” I groaned.

  “Alan has a doctor’s appointment. I’ll see you in the barn.”

  I did some imaginative cursing as I rolled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom. At least I was already dressed. Ten minutes later I trudged out to the barn. Now that I was awake my mind was working furiously. I’d counted on the fact that Alan would be the one to discover Hades and tell Dec. I’d even been practicing my ‘surprised look’ when they told me. Even though it couldn’t happen that way, for some reason I felt it was important that Dec see Hades first, so once the hay was thrown down I started feeding in the school horse aisle.

  “Téa!” Dec’s shocked exclamation came a minute later. I strode quickly around the corner and froze. It wasn’t entirely an act; I was so exhausted that the night’s events felt a bit like a dream. Then I ran into Hades’ stall and flung my arms around his neck. He curled his head around me and nudged me, whickering low in his chest, huh-huh-huh-huh. I turned to face Dec, keeping one arm around Hades, and wiped the tears from my face. They weren’t an act either — I was overjoyed to see Hades home.

  Dec frowned. He looked from me to Hades and back again. “Do you know something about this?”

  “Me?” I let my eyes go wide. Okay, now I was acting. “What do you mean?”

  Dec’s pale blue gaze assessed me carefully. I struggled not to look away, suddenly wishing I’d changed out of my ninja clothes.

  “I mean it’s awfully convenient that he just turned up back in our barn, don’t you think?” he asked.

  I traced the velvety contours of Hades’ nostril with my fingertips for a minute. Then I shrugged. “I guess I was wrong. Rodney’s obviously more chicken than weasel.”

  Dec’s brows rose ever so slightly. “You’re saying you think he brought Hades back?”

  “Well, sure. Who else? He must’ve been scared to go to court — he is a crook, after all. He probably has a record, and he wouldn’t want people to know that, it would be bad for business.” I realized I was starting to babble and clamped my mouth shut. I gave Hades one last pat, marveling at his patience — he hadn’t pulled away from me once — and stepped out of his stall. “I guess we should finish feeding.”

  “I’ll be right back.” Dec headed outside. I waited until he was out of sight before creeping to the door and peeking out. Dec had the door to his pickup open and his head stuck inside. Probably checking the odometer, something I’d never even thought of when making my plans. He closed the truck’s door and strode over to where the two trailers were parked. He walked carefully around both of them, looking for some sign they’d been used.

  As he turned toward the barn I ran back to the aisle, keeping my head down. I went to pick up more hay, and Dec snagged my sleeve as I passed him. I swallowed hard before turning to face him. Several emotions were playing over his face: suspicion, relief, worry, but in the end, a small smile won out.

  “I’m happy for you, kiddo.”

  I grinned at him, and we resumed feeding. Dec was shooting me some strange glances, but he had chosen to believe I wasn’t involved, which was a huge relief. If he thought I was responsible for taking Hades he would have felt compelled to punish me, and that would have been problematic for both of us.

  The question of how to tell Jaden was much trickier. In order for the whole thing to seem natural, I should be running into the house to call my friends and happily announce Hades’ return, with Jaden being at the top of my list. The trouble was, I was no good at deceiving Jaden. Dec and I finished in the barn and headed for the house. I was dying for some coffee.

  “I guess I should call Monica and Neil,” I said, hiding a huge yawn.

  Dec nodded. “You’d better let Jaden know too, so he can stop the court proceedings.” He watched me battle another yawn. “We’re lucky things ended this way. It wouldn’t be good for Jaden’s career if his girlfriend committed a crime.”

  I gave him a startled look.

  “I was afraid you might assault Rodney the next time you saw him,” Dec explained.

  “Right.” I couldn’t imagine Dec not exploding if he knew the truth, and yet... well, maybe I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

  I was surprisingly hungry and had two eggs, toast, and two cups of coffee before I felt ready to tackle the phone. I quickly texted Teri and Julia with an update. Then I called Monica, and had to hold the phone away from my ear as she shrieked at the news. I took a deep breath before dialing Jaden’s cell.

  “Is this a bad time?” I asked hopefully when he answered.

  “For you, never,” he said warmly. “How are you?”

  “Great, actually,” I said brightly. “Hades is back. Rodney returned him last night.”

  “Rodney did?” He sounded astonished.

  “Well, it must have been him — we went to the barn this morning and Hades was in his stall. Who else could it be, right?” I gave a nervous laugh.

  Silence at the other end. I could almost hear the ticking of his mind turning over. “Téa, tell me you didn’t have anything to do with this.” The warmth was gone, replaced with steel.

  “I didn’t have anything to do with this,” I repeated obediently with my fingers crossed.

  More silence. “Well, then. I’ll see you tonight.”

  “I... but... okay.” What could I say, that I’d rather not see him for a few days, until I could act unruffled?

  I took it easy during the day, deciding not to ride, and even managed to have a short nap in the afternoon. After waking up I had a hot shower, and I felt almost human again by the time boarders began showing up for their evening rides. By nine o’clock only Stephanie and Lisa were still in the tackroom with me. They had been thrilled by Hades’ return, and our conversation was lively — until Jaden stepped into the room. He shot me a tight-lipped look and the room went quiet. I turned and busied myself with arranging my bridle in a neat figure-eight so I wouldn’t have to look at him. His footsteps closed in; all the little hairs on the back of my neck stood up before I felt his hand settle there, sliding under my hair. His touch was gentle, almost feathery. It wasn’t the firm, warm contact I was used to, and I realized with a start that he must be controlling himself carefully. He didn’t say a word, his light touch directing me out of the tackroom, into the feedroom, an
d onto the ladder to the hayloft. He let go while I climbed, and closed the trapdoor quietly before turning to face me. His eyes blazed into mine, but the rest of his face might have been stone. He was in emotional lockdown mode, trying to keep his temper in check, with only the tell-tale twitch of a jaw muscle hinting at the effort he was expending.

  I sighed. There was no point in continuing to lie to him since he obviously hadn’t believed me.

  “I didn’t have a choice, Jaden.”

  “You didn’t have a choice but to commit a major crime? What about having some faith in my ability to get Hades back, that wasn’t a choice for you?” His voice was carefully controlled too, but his hands clenched into fists at his sides.

  “It’s not stealing to take back what’s yours!” My voice, on the other hand, was already rising. I’d had an overload of adrenaline and a dearth of sleep, and I felt dangerously close to snapping.

  Puzzlement crept into his expression. “Tell me something. Have you ever asked yourself what you’re willing to risk to achieve your goals?”

  My answer was immediate. “Whatever it takes.” The look on his face — startled and displeased — made me think that I should have added the caveat, ‘as long as it’s not illegal or immoral’, but it occurred to me that rescuing Hades might fall into one of those categories, in some people’s estimation.

  “Do you have any concept of the danger you put yourself in? Did you go there alone?” He stepped closer; his eyes were burning so brightly that I had to look away.

  “Yes,” I admitted.

  I snuck a glance at him. He was grabbing his hair with both hands. “My God, Téa! Anything could have happened! What if you’d been caught? You could have been shot or beaten up — didn’t you think of anything beyond your insane impulse?”

  That stung because I thought I’d planned things pretty carefully, considering. “I’m not as helpless as you seem to think,” I snapped. “I can take care of myself.”

  “Oh, really?” His eyes narrowed for a split-second, and then he was pushing me backward. I fell onto the hay bales and he landed on top of me, pinning my body down with his. He grabbed my wrists and pushed them into the hay above my head. Our bodies had been fitted together in many different ways, but not like this — I’d never truly felt his solid, unyielding weight against my entire length. I couldn’t move. I could barely breathe.

  “Explain to me how you would ‘take care of yourself’ in this situation,” he demanded. His stare bore down as hard as his taut muscles.

  “Are you done?” I growled.

  In answer, his mouth came down on mine, but I turned my face away furiously. He pulled us up as swiftly as we’d gone down. He started brushing hay off the back of my body with more force than I thought was strictly necessary, and I jerked away from him. I was shaking, not with fear but with anger. In truth, I’d tried very hard not to think about what might happen if I were caught because I couldn’t afford to let fear stop me. I’d pulled it off; I didn’t want to be reminded of the horrible things that could have happened.

  “You can pull away from me now because I’m letting you. But against a grown man who actually wanted to hurt you, you would be helpless.” He said it almost sadly.

  Fury rose within me like a cobra strike. I sprang at him, hands upraised and ready. I was almost upon him when his stance registered. He didn’t move, but stood passively with his arms at his sides. I tried to stop my forward momentum and stumbled awkwardly into him. He caught my shoulders to steady me, but let go as soon as I was upright. His face was turned downward and slightly to the side, not meeting my gaze.

  I stared at him, confused by the rapid change in his attitude. He hadn’t tried to defend himself, and there was something so vulnerable in his posture.

  “Jaden... I was going to... to...” I stammered, unable to form the words ‘hit you’, shocked at how wrong they felt in my mouth.

  He swallowed before raising his gaze to mine. “It’s no less than I deserve, after what I did.” His voice was a rough whisper, his eyes tight. I saw it then — under the veil of anger, there was real fear.

  I moved closer. “My love, it’s okay. You were afraid for me. I understand.”

  “Yes,” he whispered, “so afraid that I almost hurt you myself.”

  I placed my hands on his chest and ran them upward, over his broad shoulders and down his arms, until I could slip my hands into his.

  “You didn’t even come close to hurting me physically.” I hesitated, trying to find the root of my flash of temper. “I’m used to being underestimated. I’m small, I look young, and I’m a girl. What hurt is that I’m not used to it from you.”

  A shudder passed through him, and he grabbed me in a tight embrace. I felt his heart, beating unusually fast, and knew I’d honestly scared him.

  “I’m sorry I worried you,” I mumbled against his chest. “If it’s any consolation, I doubt I’ll ever steal another horse.”

  He groaned. “What am I going to do with you?”

  “I have some ideas,” I murmured, pulling his head down to mine. We ended up back on the hay, but he was gentle this time, conciliatory. After a minute he sat up, pulling me with him, and leaned back against the fragrant green stalks behind us. He guided my head onto his shoulder; his other hand looped under my knees and pulled my legs across his lap. A deep sigh escaped him.

  “I still can’t believe it. You are-”

  “Enterprising? Determined? Resourceful?” I suggested.

  “I was looking for something along the lines of ‘unbalanced’.”

  I pressed my face into his shirt for a minute, inhaling his beloved scent, before pulling away to search out his eyes. “Jaden, what else could I do? After everything I’ve gone through, everything I’ve worked so hard for, how could I have done any differently?” I spoke quietly.

  His expression was pained. “You could have told me, for starters. I could have gone with you. Better yet, I could have gone in your place.”

  I was incredulous. “Oh, sure. Because after you said you couldn’t even talk to Rodney, I should’ve assumed you’d want to commit a crime.” I shook my head sadly. “You’re a lawyer now. I wasn’t about to risk your job.”

  “Better my career than your life,” he growled.

  “It wasn’t-” I bit off my argument and took a deep breath. “Let’s not fight, okay?” I said softly. I was still shaken by the surge of fury I’d felt towards him. He wrapped both arms around me and rested his cheek against my hair, seeming to sense my thoughts.

  “Okay. And I’m truly sorry for using my strength against you, querida.” He paused, then went on in a strained whisper. “That’s something I swore I’d never do, and I’ll never do it again.”

  His sadness created a choking ball in my throat. I brushed my lips against his neck and strove for lightness in my tone. “Never? That’s a shame... there are times I really, really like feeling your strength against me.”

  He made an inarticulate sound, and then my face was in his hands, his lips were moving against mine, and I got to appreciate all over again the things I loved about his strength.

  After Jaden left I inventoried my feelings. I found relief that he knew the truth, and happiness that Hades was home and safe, but no pride in what I had done. I regarded myself as honest — okay, I lied to Dec sometimes, but given Dec’s personality that was almost inevitable. Even though I’d felt justified in doing it, taking Hades like a thief in the night left me feeling queasy. Even after the fact, though, I couldn’t think of another solution, and I resigned myself to living with the guilt. It seemed a fair price to pay.

  * * *

  Seth made a video call from somewhere in France a few days later. His expression was brighter and his smile wider than I’d seen in quite some time.

  “I guess traveling agrees with you,” I commented approvingly.

  “I’m having a fantastic time,” he agreed. Then he sobered. “What’s happening with Hades?”

  “He’s home
. I kind of stole him back.”

  He sat in stunned silence for a minute before breaking out a grin. “Holy horse thief, Batgirl.”

  “Do you think I did the right thing?” I asked. Only to Seth could I admit that I had doubts.

  He pursed his lips. “Well, why’d you do it?”

  The question surprised me, but I gave it some honest thought before answering. “Partly for Hades; he was so scared and confused... I couldn’t leave him at Rodney’s.” I paused. “But I also did it for me. I’ve worked too hard and given up too much to have it stolen away.”

  Seth nodded. “You always did know exactly what you wanted, even when we were kids. And you’ve never been afraid to go for it. You’re running true to form, Sis — I think you did the right thing, for you. Crazy, mind,” he smiled widely again, “but right.”

  I blew out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. “Thanks, bro.”

  We talked about his travels for a while, Seth making me laugh as he always did, and afterward, I meandered downstairs feeling better than I had since Hades was taken. I went in search of a snack and found Gran in the kitchen with Dec. She was putting the kettle on.

  “Hi, Gran.” I went to the cupboard to find cookies to go with the inevitable tea. I leaned against the counter and nibbled one. “Seth’s in France. He says hi,” I relayed.

  Dec just grunted, but Gran said, “Oh, lovely. I do miss that boy.”

  I snuck Blue a piece of tea biscuit when Dec wasn’t looking. “I’ve been thinking — maybe we should get another dog. Blue’s too old to be a guard dog anymore, and Hades getting stolen has made me think we need some more security around here.”