by Beck, J. L.
God, I can’t believe he did that. All the people he took from me… Shawn. I can’t even imagine the sinister things he did to him, to them. Fear coils deep in my gut. He said I’ll never be free of him. Tears fall from my eyes and cascade down my cheeks.
He did this for his own sick pleasure. He’s not protecting me. He’s keeping me. Locking me up. I won’t be a victim. I won’t let him control me. I’m going to get out of this, no matter what I have to do. Swiping at the tears, I force myself to get dressed.
It takes me forever to put my clothes on and even longer to walk out of the room, but when I do, Zane is nowhere to be found. I feel this strange tug on my heart at not seeing him, but I push the feeling away. He doesn’t deserve anything from me, least of all, for me to care about him. He’s a monster, a killer, and a criminal. He may not hurt me, but he’s hurt others, and that’s the same thing.
The living room is empty, as is the kitchen. I continue walking toward the hall that leads to the gym and library. I do my best not to make any noise, and when I reach the door to the gym, I spot Zane. He’s doing push-ups on the floor, his complete attention on counting each up and down rep. I look to the free weights sitting a few feet away.
Now is your chance…
I know if I miss or don’t knock him out that I’ll be screwed. There is no coming back from this, but the other option is worse. It forces me to stay here with a man who is what real monsters are made of, and I can’t do that. Wiping my clammy palms against the front of my yoga pants, I walk up to the weight rack and grab a fifteen-pound dumbbell. It should do the job. Nervously, I do my best not to trip or startle Zane as I edge closer to him.
You can do it. For one brief second, I contemplate putting the weight back and walking away. I’m not the type to hurt someone, and this is going to do some damage. It’s going to rip me apart on the inside. I just don’t see a way around it. It’s him or me, and I have to save myself.
The muscles in my stomach tighten as I lift the weight above my head. Closing my eyes—because I can’t look at this—I bring it down in an arch motion. Flinching when the heavy weight makes contact, and his body crashes to the floor with a thud. I lift the weight again, aiming for the back of his head, probably what I should’ve aimed for to begin with.
Except as I lift the weight above my head, Zane rolls over and pushes up onto his feet with lightning speed. Fear grips onto me, causing me to freeze. The dark shadow that casts on his face is terrifying. Zane might care about me, might be obsessed, but right now, all I see is a man who wants to hurt me. My lungs shrivel up, and my throat tightens. It feels like I’m suffocating, and he hasn’t even touched me yet.
He’s going to kill me.
“You just don’t know when to quit, do you?” His lip curls with fury, and he tugs the weight out of my hand, tossing it to the floor behind him like it’s nothing.
I’m going to die. I can feel it. He’s looking at me with murder in his eyes, and I have nowhere to go, no way to escape him. I swallow down the scream building in my throat as he lunges for me, his nostrils flaring like a bull.
Lifting me, he tosses me over his shoulder. I land harshly, and it takes me about a half-second before I start pounding on his back and kicking my feet.
“Keep fighting me, Dove. It makes my cock hard feeling you struggle, and we both know how badly you want me.”
“Let me go! I hate you. I hate you, and I will never let you touch me again. Never.” I’m screaming the words now, my voice cracking from fear and anger.
Before I can grasp onto my bearings, Zane is doing just that, letting me go, but my relief is short-lived when I’m tossed onto the mattress like a rag doll.
His firm body blankets mine in an instant, and I try to move away, but he holds me in place, his fingers digging into the flesh at my hip. “You want me to treat you the way I treat everyone else? You don’t want my kindness? Because that’s all I’ve given you so far. You still fight me and try to escape. I’m doing all of this to protect you, but you don’t see that. You don’t see that the biggest monster isn’t me but someone else. Why can’t you see the truth?”
Like a wounded animal in the clutches of a predator, I twist my body and kick my legs, hoping to land a jab against him. Zane is skilled though and stops my assaults before they can even get started by pressing me deeper into the mattress.
My breaths are coming out in pants, and it’s almost like I’m suffocating. Choking on the fear. The weight of his body is all I can feel. His hard cock is against my stomach, and I think I’m going to be sick. Bile rises in my throat.
Fight. Fight! Digging deep inside myself, I lash out. I catch him right across the face with my hand and drag my nails down across his nose and cheek, leaving deep gouges.
“Fuck!” He takes both of my wrists into one hand and pressing them to my chest. Once he has me trapped, I can hardly move, let alone breathe. When he leans into my face, all I see is the devil looking down at me.
The look in his eyes is pure violence. It promises pain, suffering, agony. This isn’t the Zane I’ve come to know. This is the obsessed man who kills without thought, who will do anything to keep me where he wants me.
“You really shouldn’t have done that, Dove.”
No. This isn’t happening. All of a sudden, this has gotten real. His body against mine. His rock hard cock. The searing heat bubbling between our two bodies. Hate and lust mingle together.
“Please. You don’t have to do this. I’m sorry…”
“Oh, I do… I have to teach you a lesson. I need to show you what you don’t want to admit. We belong together, and it’s time I prove it to you.”
He let’s go of my wrists and starts ripping off my clothes. Fabric tears and cool air kisses my skin as my bra and shirt are ripped from my body. I’m trembling with fear, but still try to shove against his chest as hard as I can to escape. There is no point though. I can’t move him. He’s a steel wall, cold and impenetrable.
Snatching my wrists once more, he pins them above my head this time. With his free hand, he reaches into the drawer beside the bed and pulls out the handcuffs he used on me before. A moment later, the cool metal is fastened around my wrist, and the other end fastened to the headboard. He pulls out another pair and does the same to the other hand.
“Please…” I whimper, but even I know that the time for begging has passed. I’ve dug my own grave, and now I’m going to have to lie in it. “You said you would never hurt me!”
“Shut up,” Zane growls as he makes quick work of my pants, pulling them down right along with my panties, leaving me completely bare to him. “You’ve tried to kill me. How the hell do you think you would have gotten out of here without me? You don’t have the code for the door. You would have died in here!”
My whole body is shaking, my fear only intensifying as he strips out of his clothes. His very hard, very angry cock comes into view, and my fear reaches new heights. It’s so big, the veins bulging out on it, visibly throbbing.
I didn’t think that I would lose my virginity in such a savage way, taken from me without mercy, but there isn’t anything I can do to stop him.
“Is this what you wanted?” He stares down at me. “Did you want me so angry that I take from you? That I take the choice from you, so you don’t have to admit that you want this?”
“I hate you,” I lie. I should, but I can’t, even now. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to shut the world out.
“You try to hate me, but we both know you truly don’t. You can’t, we are too connected, whether you like it or not. We belong together, and I’m about to show you how much.” His lips brush against mine, and I move against him on instinct, seeking out his comfort even with the threat of him hurting me.
“Open your eyes and look at me as I take you. Feel every inch of my cock as I sink deep inside you.” The head of his cock brushes against my entrance, and I freeze, my entire body shutting down. I tell myself to stop feeling. Tears escape my eyes and slide down the
sides of my cheeks. I can’t breathe. I can’t swallow. I feel cold all over, broken and scared, so scared. He’s going to hurt me after he told me he wouldn’t, he’s going to. I don’t understand why that matters so much at the moment. His words don’t mean shit, not after what he’s done to me, but deep down, I know that’s a lie.
They mean everything…
A pained cry fills the room. It takes a moment to realize that it came from me. I made that sound. Zane’s body freezes above mine, but I still don’t open my eyes. I can’t. I do want this, but not like this. I don’t want to be a victim of his rage and anger.
I try to suck in a breath, but my chest is too tight, panic holding it prisoner like a hundred-pound weight. I feel like I’m suffocating, gasping for oxygen. My mind races at the things he’s going to do to me, the savage way he’s going to claim me over and over again.
“Shhh.” I feel the warmth of his hand against my cold cheek. He cups it gently, swiping at the tears that still linger there. It’s like he knows I need this. I know I shouldn’t, that I should hate him, tell him to release me, but instead of doing those things, I seek comfort in his touch, nuzzling my face into his palm, needing it. Needing him.
“I never want to hurt you, Dove. But dammit… the way you act, it makes me want to break you down just so I can build you up again. To prove to you that you need me. But I’m not sure I could come back from that. I can’t see my Dove broken in her cage. I want her to sing and fly, but I’m tired of her trying to escape.”
“I can’t accept this…” I whimper.
“You have to, and after today, you won’t be able to fly away from me, Dove. I’m going to shackle you to me. Make you mine forever. Do you understand?”
“Zane, please…” I whimper, my breathing slowly returning to a normal pace. When I finally force my eyes open, I find Zane hovering above me. There’s a softness in his eyes. I want to reach out and grab it, wrap myself up in it.
He’s watching me cautiously, tenderly almost, penetrating my soul with his gaze. Before, when I looked at him, there was nothing. An empty pit of nothingness. Now, there is light in his eyes, pieces of his shine through and down at me.
A rough hand skims down the side of my body, gently stroking the tense flesh. It feels like he’s taking the fear he gave me and replacing it with something else, something deeper. Leaning forward, he presses an open-mouthed kiss to my breast, his tongue sliding over the flesh makes me shiver. Every hair on my body awakens at his touch. Reaching my nipple, he takes it into his mouth, flicking the bud with his tongue.
A spark of pleasure ignites in my belly, and I have to stop myself from arching into his mouth. He sucks deeply, tugging on the hard bud before releasing it with a pop. He works the other one over in the same fashion, and I feel my arousal for him dripping down my thighs. I’m drenched, my core clenching, silently begging him to take me.
I want him. Even though I shouldn’t. Even though it’s wrong. I still want him, and I can’t deny that. I can’t lie about the strange connection we have. Nothing about Zane is normal, and after all the things he’s told me, I know I should be fighting him, but I’m tired of pushing him away. I want this... need it.
“I want you, Dove, and I’m going to have you. I’m going to take what’s mine, own you, seal our bodies together as one. You were meant to be mine, and it’s time I claim you. Time, I make you mine so no one else can.”
Every muscle in my body tenses, and I think he’s going to spread me wide and plunge deep inside, but he shocks me when he moves back and peers down between my legs. Dropping down to his belly, he slides his hands under my ass and lifts me to his face. He inhales deeply, and my cheeks burn. He isn’t doing what I think he is, is he?
I tug against the cuffs and try to look down at him, but in this position, I’m at his mercy. Just like he wants, needs. Dove trapped in her golden cage.
“You smell divine, perfect, and I can’t wait to fucking taste you. I’ve envisioned this moment for years. Tongue fucking you. Tasting your release as you explode into my mouth.” His lips trail the inside of my thigh. My muscles jump underneath the scrape of his tongue. Every touch is heightened. Hot breath fans against my entrance, and I’m not sure if I should beg him to stop or keep going. Zane doesn’t give me a chance to dwell on the thought long before making the choice for me.
His lips close around the bundle of nerves hidden between my folds, and the pleasure that sparks is so intense I lift my hips and gasp his name at the same time. Strong fingers dig into my thighs as he spreads me wider, his hulking frame fitting between them as if he was always made to be there. He feasts on me without care, driven by primal need. His mouth is relentless, and all I feel is him owning me, worshipping me.
I grow wetter and wetter as he sucks, and when his tongue flicks over the bud, I explode. He rips the orgasm right out of me. I’m almost ashamed at how fast I fall apart, but my brain is too drunk on lust to think about that for long. Not when my entire body feels like it’s gone to heaven. My toes curl into the mattress, and I lift my hips arching into his face.
Zane presses a kiss to my mound, and then I feel a finger at my entrance. I’ve barely come down from my high when he slowly slides into me and starts fucking me with that single digit. All I can do is focus on the pleasure he gives me, and when my body starts to coil tight, gearing up for a second release, he adds another finger, stretching me.
I’m consumed by him, and when I look up, our eyes connect. “Come for me, fall apart so I can fuck you the way you should be fucked. Like only I can.”
The intensity in his eyes, the love and want that pours out of him. He’s obsessed, but his feelings are deeper than that, and I feel that now. Feel his attraction. It’s like sticking your finger into a light socket.
Scissoring the two fingers inside of me, he touches that sweet spot at the back of my channel that he touched before and I come undone. Split down the middle. My muscles tense, and like a rubber band, my body snaps. Pleasure pools in my core, and I clench down on his fingers, my channel gripping him like it never wants to let go.
“Tell me you want me… that you want my cock,” Zane says as he eases his fingers out of me. My gaze flicks down to his massive cock. Come beads the tip as it bobs in the space between us. Can I do this? Take him? I’m afraid… but also spellbound with need.
I want him, need him.
“Yes, take me…”
The words have barely left my lips, and he’s on me, centering himself between my legs. Hovering above me, his entire body vibrates. He’s so big and warm, and I feel safe. I feel safe in my captor’s arms. Snaking a hand between our bodies, he guides the crown of his cock to my entrance, and I tense. I look up at him and find him watching me.
“There is no way around this. It’s going to hurt, but I promise I’ll be as gentle as I can,” he whispers hoarsely, and relief floods my veins.
He won’t hurt me. He won’t just take.
I try and relax as the head of his cock enters me, but I can’t. It feels like he’s taking everything from me. Pain. Pleasure. Love. Hate. My lungs tighten, and my thoughts become dizzy. It’s like he’s ripping me in two.
“Breathe, baby, breathe for me.” Zane sounds as pained as I feel, and I realize I’m not breathing then. Sucking in a shaky breath, I half expect him to just plow into me at that moment, but he doesn’t. He takes his time, savoring every inch he gains. Pain ripples through me, overtaking the pleasure.
I feel full, so full, and when he reaches the resistance of my virginity, he smiles. He actually smiles as he thrusts forward and claims it. Like a prize that can never be returned or given to another, he makes certain I will always remember him. Remember this moment. No matter what happens, I will always know who my first was.
Peppering my face with kisses, he thrust a little deeper, and I whimper when his balls press against my ass. He’s all the way in… he’s inside of me. His muscles strain, and a bead of sweat slides down the side of his face.
His lips find my ear, and he stills inside of me. I can’t imagine the amount of self-control it’s taking for him not to plunge into me over and over again.
“Fucking Christ, I can’t tell you how many nights I fucked my hand thinking about your pussy. Imagining how warm and tight it would be. How it would feel to claim that one piece of you that no one else ever could again. Through all the dreaming, I never could have imagined it would feel this good. That it would be this perfect. That we would fit together so well, like two pieces of a puzzle.” All I can do is whimper as I try and adjust to his cock inside of me.
His lips sear mine hungrily, and pleasure starts to build again when he moves a hand between our sweaty bodies and finds my clit. He strokes me gently, circling my bundle of nerves, playing them like an instrument until my entire body loosens, slowly becoming a melty pile of mush. When I start to lift my hips and mewl against his mouth, he pulls out and thrusts back in. His strokes are slow and precise at first, and though there is a bite of pain with each push, it’s far more bearable with his finger on my clit.
“Am I hurting you?” he asks, our foreheads touching.
“No…” I gasp and arch into him, the cuffs around my wrists dig into my skin as he swivels his hips, touching something inside me. It’s foreign, but it feels like heaven.
“Good. I want you to come with me.”
“I don’t know if I can… girls don’t come their first time,” I whisper.
Zane smiles. “Girls that are with guys who don’t care about their pleasure don’t come their first time. You’re going to come, or I’ll continue fucking you until you do.”
The intense look in his eyes tells me he’s not lying, and I become hypnotized by him as he starts fucking me, sinking deep into my flesh, taking and taking until there is nothing left. Until I’m a shell, and he is the harbor for all my happiness and misery.
Together we crest the hill of pleasure, me crashing into the wall and shattering first, forcing the orgasm right out of him. He fills me with his come, the hot ropes paint my womb, and since I’m riding the waves of pleasure, it takes me a moment to realize what we just did.