Cruel Obsession

by Beck, J. L.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask, my voice still wrapped up in sleep. I throw the blanket off my body and crawl over to him. As he promised, I feel an ache between my legs with every move I make, a reminder of what we did last night.

  Placing my hand on his shoulder, I ask again, this time a little more urgently. “Zane, what’s wrong?”

  He raises his hand and places it on top of mine before he starts talking. I look down at it. The gesture so gentle and kind it’s a stark reminder that he can be both kind and possessive.

  “I’m sorry, Dove. I have some bad news for you.” The way he’s looking at me almost shatters me. He takes a deep breath like he’s afraid to tell me. The guy who kills people for a living, who stalked and kidnapped me is afraid? Whatever he has to say is going to be bad, but I have to know. I have to.

  “Please, tell me!” My voice comes out more demanding than I wanted it to, but I can’t help it. I need to know what’s wrong.

  Zane sighs, his eyes filling with panic. “It’s Donna… she’s had a stroke, Dove.”

  I hear the words right away, but it’s almost like they don’t make it further than my ear. Somehow, my brain doesn’t understand them. What happened? The information sinks in slowly, and seconds pass before my brain can comprehend what he is telling me, but once it does, dread consumes me.

  “Donna? Donna had a stroke?” I ask as if I didn’t hear him the first time. He nods, and I try to ask my next question. “Is she…”

  “She is alive, but she’s not doing well. The nursing home said she’s in critical condition—”

  “I need to see her!” I cut him off mid-sentence. “Zane, you need to let me go.” I tug on his arm.

  “I know… but I need to make preparations. I need to make sure it’s safe for you.”

  “Safe for me? I don’t give a shit about my safety. The only parent I ever had is in the hospital dying, and I need to be there! Right now!” Please let him see how important this is to me because if he doesn’t… if he doesn’t take me to her. “Zane, if she dies and I’m not there, I will never forgive you.”

  He suddenly jumps up from the bed, his large body looming over me. “You think I don’t know that! You might hate me forever, but at least you’ll be alive! At least I won’t have to worry that someone took you from me!”

  “I don’t care about me,” I yell back at him, my face flush. I don’t care what happens to me, so long as I get to see Donna before she dies.

  “I know that too, but I care. I care. Do you still not get it? You’re everything to me. If something happened to you, I’d kill myself. You are the only person that matters to me, and if you die, I die with you.”

  Tears fill my eyes, and my lungs burn. “Zane, I have to see her. I know that I’m the most important person to you, but Donna is important to me, and she’s dying right now. I need to be there with her. I need to say goodbye.”

  His jaw turns to steel, and he lets out a growl that’s more animal than human. “Fuck, Dove, if something happens to you. They’re looking for you. For both of us. I can’t protect you out there. I can’t make sure nothing happens to you out there.” For the first time ever, I see panic fill his eyes. I see fear, real fear, and it sinks in just how much I mean to him.

  I thought it was just an obsession, but it’s clear it’s more, deeper.

  “You have to let me do this. I know you’re scared. I am too, and I don’t even know who it is that’s trying to hurt me, but I’d rather die than not be there when she takes her last breath. Please, Zane. Please do this for me. I won’t fight you anymore. I won’t try to escape, just, please… Please, give me this last moment with her.”

  Zane looks like a statue, his entire body is rigid, every muscle clenched. Terror is all I see when I look at him. A man terrified of what may happen. If he lets me go, and if he doesn’t.

  Like lightning striking, he snaps out of it. “We will go, but you will remain by my side the entire time. You will not go anywhere without me. If anything happens, we will leave and come back here. I will not risk your life. If it’s not safe, we won’t go inside.”

  He’s barely finished laying down the ground rules, and I’m off the bed, running into the closet to get some clothes. I’m dressed in seconds and walk back out into the bedroom to find Zane standing in the same spot. He looks to be lost in thought, and my heart sinks into my stomach. Has he changed his mind?

  When he sees me, his gaze flicks over my dressed form. “Ready to go?”

  “Yes, are you?”

  Crossing the space separating us, he takes my cheeks into his hands and leans down, so his lips are a centimeter away from my own. “I’m ready, but I’ve never been more scared of something happening to you than I am right now.”

  “Nothing will happen,” I assure him even though I don’t know anything about who is after us, or why they would want to hurt us.

  “You’re so naive and so good. I wouldn’t expect you to understand how dangerous this is. I just want you to know that if something happens to you, anything at all, I will blame myself forever, and I’ll gladly put a bullet between my own eyes. You’re my world, and if you’re not in it, then there is nothing left for me to live for.”

  I feel each word slicing through my skin and piercing my heart. This man is consuming me, and while I know I shouldn’t feel a single thing for him, my emotions are twisting, becoming more confusing with each day I’m here. I shouldn’t want Zane, but a part of me is drawn to him, to his darkness.

  “Everything is going to be okay,” I say before gently pressing my lips to his. I don’t know what is going to happen. What I do know is that I have to get to Donna before it’s too late.

  * * *

  The sunlight feels good against my skin after not seeing it for a while. I won’t lie, I hate the reason we are leaving, but I’m happy to get some fresh air and leave the confines of that place. As it turns out, we are in the middle of nowhere, miles from the city, so even if I had escaped, it wouldn’t have mattered much. The entire drive Zane white knuckles the steering wheel, his eyes darting between the rearview mirror and the windshield like someone is going to appear there.

  I’m tempted to force him to tell me who is after us, and what all is going on, but I need to focus on the most important thing right now. Donna had a stroke, the one and only person to ever care for me is most likely dying, and there isn’t shit I can do about it.

  Guilt clings to me as we get closer to the city. Maybe I should’ve spent more time with her, maybe I should’ve tried to get her into an even better nursing home, maybe something closer. The thoughts swirl like water running down a drain.

  “Everything is going to be okay. I will always protect you… love you,” Zane says, breaking the silence. It’s like he knows how much I need someone to lean on.

  Like he can feel the despair pumping through my veins. His words don’t change what’s happening right now though, and they don’t make the loss of Donna any easier, but they do make me feel less alone.

  “My heart hurts. It feels like I’m losing a piece of my soul.” I swallow around the lump of emotions in my throat. “Donna was the only person to ever care for me. She adopted me when all hope was lost. When I was sure, I would forever be stuck in the system. Someone as sweet and caring as she doesn’t deserve to die, especially from a stroke.” I don’t know why I’m telling him this, it’s not like he doesn’t already know everything about Donna and me.

  Zane’s hand comes to rest on my thigh, his touch makes my insides tingle.

  “Donna doesn’t deserve this, no, but we don’t get to choose how someone dies.”

  I turn to him. “Says the one who kills people.”

  He gives me a sly grin, and my entire body warms all over. “Touché.”

  We arrive at the hospital a few minutes later, pulling into the emergency room parking lot. Zane parks, but before I can get out, he shakes his head, ordering me to stay put for a second. We’re so close, and all I want to do is go inside and see Do
nna. Walking around the car, he opens my door and helps me out. His fingers interlock with mine as we walk across the sidewalk and into the hospital. With each step I take, the sicker I feel. Part of me wants to scream and yell and ask why the hell this is happening, and the other part just wants to break down and cry.

  I remember Zane’s instructions as we reach the round circular desk, where the receptionist is. Don’t talk to anyone. Keep your eyes down. Don’t draw attention. Staring down at our joined hands like they’re the most majestic thing I’ve ever seen, I let Zane do all the talking while pretending like I’m not interested in the conversation.

  “She’s in the ICU. I’ll send you down there, and one of the nurses will meet with you,” the receptionist says. I don’t even bother commenting on the fact that she’s checking Zane out, drool basically dribbling down her chin. Jealousy has no place in my heart right now.

  “Thank you,” Zane says with a smile, and we had in the direction of the ICU, following the signs in the hospital.

  When we reach the unit, there is a set of double doors that you have to be buzzed to get into. Zane squeezes my hand tighter and turns to me.

  “It’s going to be hard to see her like this. Are you sure this is what you want?”

  “We’re here, and we’re going in. I don’t care what condition she’s in. I need to see her.” My voice cracks, and my heart splinters in my chest. Zane nods and presses the button for us to be buzzed in. A second later, the door opens, and we walk into the ICU unit. There are monitors everywhere and things that sound like alarms going off.

  Zane guides us up to yet another desk, where a woman in scrubs greets us.

  “Hi, we’ve come to see Donna Miller.”

  The nurse walks around the desk and comes over to us, a folder in her hand. “Come with me, and we will discuss her condition.”

  I can hardly breathe, and suddenly I feel dizzy. Latching onto Zane’s arm, I let him guide us where we need to go. “Donna is in critical condition right now. She’s on a ventilator, and her brain function is…” The nurse pauses and frowns when she sees my reaction. I’m pretty sure I look like I’m about to pass out.

  “She doesn’t have any brain function?” I ask, my voice breaking at the end.

  “This is very common after a stroke. Her brain was without oxygen for too long. The doctors have been looking for any brain activity, any signs that she’ll recover, but as of this morning, there was nothing. I’m so sorry. The doctors have done all they can at this point. I can let you see her.”

  The tears I was holding back break free, and I swallow down a sob as I bury my face into Zane’s side. He releases my hand and wraps his arms around me, holding me a little tighter. She’s gone. The one and only person I ever had is gone. Physically, she’s still here, but in the sense of her really being here, her spirit, she’s gone.

  The nurse takes us to her room, and what I see when I step inside has the ground crumbling beneath my feet. My knees go weak, and I feel like I’m going to pass out.

  Donna. My sweet mom has tubes going in and out of her body everywhere. Her body is so still she doesn’t even look alive, and in a way, I guess she isn’t.

  “I’ll leave you alone for a bit,” the nurse says, dismissing herself. The room spins around me, and I press a hand to my forehead to steady myself.

  “Are you okay?” Zane’s gravelly voice fills my ears. He turns me to face him, his hands circle my arms, holding me in place and blocking my view of Donna.

  “She’s just…” A sob escapes my lips, and I press my face into his shirt, gripping onto the fabric. It’s like I’m losing everything.

  “It’s okay. I told you this was going to be hard, and it is. But you should be allowed to say goodbye. She would want that.” I nod, blubbering into his shirt. I’m a mess, a complete mess. How will I survive this?

  “I’m okay. I need to do this.” I speak out loud, even though the words are just for me. Zane nods and takes a step back, releasing me, though it seems it’s the last thing he wants to do. With him out of the way, I stand there for a long time, just staring at her. The woman who supported me when I felt hopeless. She nurtured and watered me, turned a wilted rose into a woman. I was lost before her and found the instant we met. Now she’s leaving me again, and it feels like all those times I was left behind. Never the child picked. Forever alone.

  Forcing my feet to move, I walk over to the side of the bed. I take her hand in mine. It’s cold and makes me shiver at the touch. Of course, she doesn’t react to my touch. She doesn’t squeeze my hand. Doesn’t even acknowledge that I’m there. The machines she’s hooked up to make her chest rise and fall.

  Seeing her like this breaks my heart. I miss seeing the smile on her face and the twinkle of joy in her eyes every time I would come and visit her. Never did I think the last time I saw her awake and happy would actually be the final time I’d see her that way. I can’t stop the tears from falling as I stand there holding her hand. My shoulders drop, and I bite my lip to hold back a sob.

  “I miss you already, and you aren’t even gone yet.” I wipe my face with the back of my hand. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there; that I’ve been so busy and haven’t been able to come and visit as much. I wish we had more time. That this didn’t happen.”

  Sniffling, I continue. “I’m so thankful that you took me in and gave me a future. I’ve enjoyed every minute of being with you, and I am proud to call you my mom.”

  Bending down, I brush the grey hairs from her forehead and press a gentle kiss there. When I pull away, I’m crying so hard I can barely see. It’s like I’m losing a piece of my soul, a piece of my upbringing.

  “I’ve got you,” Zane whispers, his arms circling my waist. He pulls me back against her chest, and I turn in his arms, needing someone to hold onto.

  22

  We stay for another twenty minutes, and I hate every second of it. I hate seeing Dove hurt, and I hate that we are here, out in the open where I can’t protect her. Not the way I want to, at least. After a short while, I know I have to tell her it’s time.

  “Dove, we need to go. It’s not safe to stay here.”

  She pulls away from my chest and nods in understanding. With her head hung low, I watch her walk over to Donna’s side once more.

  She says her tearful goodbyes before turning back to me. I hold my arms open, and she falls into them, letting me lead her outside the room. Donna will be given a proper funeral, it’s the least I can do, and I know it will set Dove at ease to have her funeral taken care of.

  “Everything is going to be okay, Dove. I promise it won’t always hurt this bad.” I try to console her, but her sobbing only intensifies. I walk her past the nurses’ station and down the hall. I’m so focused on Dove that I don’t pay attention to our surroundings the way I should. All I can think about is getting us out of this hospital and back to the bunker.

  We take the stairs down to the parking garage, and as soon as we step outside, something feels off. I pause, pulling Dove even closer.

  “What’s wrong?” she asks, peeking up at me through thick lashes.

  “I don’t know yet.” I scan the area and spot two blacked-out SUVs in the same aisle we are parked. I take a step back, shoving Dove behind me as two car doors pop open. Shit.

  Turning around, I take Dove’s face into my hands and stare deeply into her eyes. “Listen to me. I need you to go back inside and find a place to hide. Hide until I come and find you, okay?” I try not to sound panicked, but this is my worst nightmare being brought to life.

  “What’s wrong?” She repeats, sounding more frantic this time. Tugging from my grasp, she tries to look over my shoulder.

  “I’ll explain everything to you later, please, just go and hide. Please, Dove,” I say, feeling more desperate than I ever have before. She nods, and I release her, watching her step away from me. It hurts me physically to let her go, but I know I can’t protect her if she’s standing there watching me. I’m outnumbered and outgunned. I can�
��t fight them and keep her safe at the same time. When she disappears through the door leading into the stairwell, I turn around to face whoever Christian has sent to get me.

  Color me fucking shocked when I see the asshole himself walking toward me, a triumphant smile on his smug-ass weathered face. “Did you really think you could hide forever?”

  I shrug. “I wasn’t hiding from you. I was just taking a much-needed vacation.” Maybe I can get him to talk a little bit, which will give Dove a little more time to hide.

  “Do I look like a fucking idiot, Zane?” He cocks his head to the side. Each step he takes brings him closer and me closer to death.

  Two men flank him, and I know he’s got more men here somewhere. Christian is not stupid; he knows I could take out two guys with ease. As if they could read my mind, more car doors open, and four more men start to approach.

  “Brought a lot of people just to chat,” I say, forcing a grin on my lips.

  “You know there is not going to be a whole lot of talking. Less talking, more killing.”

  “You brought a lot of people for that too. Did you forget how to hold a gun yourself?” I know provoking him is probably not my best bet right now, but fuck, I’m mad. Mad at him, mad at myself, mad at the world.

  “Why shoot the gun myself when I have people that can do it for me? People like you. It’s really a shame, you were one of my favorites. I guess it was my own fault for not finding the truth out sooner.” He shakes his head like he still can’t believe it.

  “Find out what?”

  “Find Dove… then find out who she is to you—”

  I cut him off before he can finish. I don’t want to hear him talk about my relationship with her, but I do want to know why the hell he wants her. “Why have you been looking for her for the last ten years?”

  He chuckles. “So it was you who killed Billy. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted that prick. Did you at least make him suffer first?”