Anchor Me

by J. Kenner

  "That was the first word we taught her," I say proudly. "And it's become her favorite." I stroke her hair. "Hasn't it, sweetie? Kiss?"

  "Kiss!" she says again, then laughs and laughs. "Baba! Kiss!"

  "Anything for my girl," Damien says, then rubs his nose against hers, buzzes her cheeks with his eyelashes, then gives her a kiss.

  "Kiss," I say, laughing, and he pulls me close and gives me a kiss of my own as our friends applaud, and a warm, comfortable glow washes over me.

  It's been more than eight months since we started the process, and I can't believe that we've finally reached the end--or, really, the beginning. It's a whole new chapter in our life together, and I take Damien's hand as our little family follows the crowd into the hangar.

  "Don't worry," Syl says, sliding in beside me. "We know you're exhausted. This will be a short party. We just couldn't wait."

  "It's fine," I tell her, happy to show Lara off, especially since she's warmed to the crowd and is smiling and giggling, safe in Damien's arms. "I'm not that tired, anyway," I admit. That's one of the perks of traveling in your own jet. An actual bed in an actual bedroom--and on this trip, even a crib for the baby.

  Damien takes her through the crowd in the hangar, and though she mostly clings to him, a few of our friends get anointed with Lara's affection, including Evelyn, who takes her with gusto, lifting her high and making the kind of silly faces I never thought I'd see on my friend. And when Frank leans down and starts making animal noises for her, I have to turn away so that I don't completely lose it.

  Ronnie wants to hold her, but we settle for putting her on a blanket and letting Ronnie and Jeffery babysit their cousin until their attention wears out.

  As for the party, it goes on longer than anyone intended, but I can hardly complain, especially since our princess is having such a good time.

  "Up!" she demands to Cass at one point, and when Cass complies, she points to the diamond stud in Cass's nose and says something that I assume means "shiny."

  "She's wonderful," Ollie says, coming to sit by me as Cass brings her over and puts her on a blanket spread out in front of the sofa I've claimed. "Just like her mother," he adds.

  "She's smart and fearless," I counter. "Just like her dad."

  He chuckles. "That, too," he says, then puts an arm around me as we both look down at my daughter. "I'm glad I was in town tonight. You did good. You and Damien."

  I smile and watch the room, then smile even broader when Damien comes to sit across from us, pausing to shake Ollie's hand before he drops, exhausted, into his chair.

  Sofia comes up with a smile for Damien, but it's me she looks at when she asks, "May I hold her?"

  I hesitate.

  "I'll give her back," Sofia says blandly.

  "Crap," I say. "I'm sorry. Of course, you can. I--"

  She laughs. "It's okay. Really. And I'm going back to London tomorrow. But I had to be here for this, so I flew in this morning."

  She bends down and scoops up Lara, who doesn't fuss, even though her eyes are starting to droop. "I wanted to meet her and see Damien in the role of daddy. I figure he'll do better than all his role models," she says, with a wry look in his direction.

  "I damn well better," he says, raising a bottle of water in a mock toast.

  "Do you want to stay longer?" I ask her. "It's okay," I add, meeting Damien's eyes. I'm still not one-hundred percent on the Sofia-train, but I also know I won't get there without spending more time together. And I know it's important to Damien that Sofia be a part of Lara's life.

  She hesitates, her eyes glistening as she flashes a watery smile. "No. But thank you. I have sessions scheduled with the headshrinker--I don't want to miss them." She kisses Lara's head. "I'll be back, though. We'll ease into it slowly, okay?"

  "Yeah," I say, meaning it. "That's totally okay."

  Sofia puts the baby back down, and then she and Ollie both step away to mingle some more.

  As soon as Ollie leaves, Damien moves to sit beside me. "Well, I'm exhausted," he says as he reaches down to pick up Lara. "Come here, little girl. You wore your daddy out."

  He leans back in the seat, Lara pressed against his chest, sucking her thumb.

  "You can't possibly be tired, Mr. Stark," I tease.

  "Believe me, I can."

  "Mmm. Well, that presents a problem."

  "Oh, really?" I see the fire ignite in his eyes. "Do you have something energetic to suggest when we get home?"

  "Always," I say with a grin. "But I was thinking more in terms of the children. I mean if one wears you out, how are you going to manage two?"

  Very slowly, he turns to me. "Say that again."

  I take his hand, and gently press his palm over the secret I've been keeping. "Doctor Tyler says I'm out of the danger zone. I--I didn't want to say anything until, well, until we were sure everything is okay."

  "And you're sure now?" The hope in his voice is almost palpable.

  I nod. "I saw him right before we left for China. My statistical chance of something going wrong now is the same as any other woman."

  "But we weren't trying."

  "We weren't trying the first time, either," I remind him. "I'm a walking billboard for failed birth control."

  "You're pregnant," he says slowly, a tender awe lighting his face. "You're really pregnant."

  I laugh, delighted by his reaction. "Lara's going to be a big sister," I say, unable to stop smiling.

  He pulls me close, his eyes dancing. "Kiss!" Lara orders. "Kiss!"

  "You know what?" Damien says. "I think I will."

  And with our little girl between us, he kisses me long and hard.

  "Is it a boy or a girl?" he asks, when he gently pulls away.

  "One or the other," I say, snuggling against him as I fight a smile. "Either way, it's wonderful."

  Sometimes, it feels so damn good to be bad . . .

  Turn the page for an enticing excerpt from

  Wicked Grind

  The new novel from J. Kenner, set in the seductive Stark world.

  Coming soon from

  Chapter 1

  He was surrounded by naked women, and he was bored out of his mind.

  Wyatt Royce forced himself not to frown as he lowered his camera and took a step back, his critical eye raking over the four women who stood in front of him in absolutely nothing but their birthday suits.

  Gorgeous women. Confident women. With luscious curves, smooth skin, bright eyes, and the kind of strong, supple muscles that left no doubt that each and every one of them could wrap their legs around a man and hold him tight.

  In other words, each one had an erotic allure. A glow. A certain je ne sais quoi that turned heads and left men hard.

  None of them, however, had it.

  "Wyatt? You ready, man?"

  Jon Paul's voice pulled Wyatt from his frustrated thoughts, and he nodded at his lighting director. "Sorry. Just thinking."

  JP turned his back to the girls before flashing a wolfish grin and lowering his voice. "I'll bet you were."

  Wyatt chuckled. "Down, boy." Wyatt had hired the twenty-three year old UCLA photography grad student as a jack-of-all-trades six months ago. But when JP had proved himself to be not only an excellent photographer, but a prodigy with lighting, the relationship had morphed from boss/assistant to mentor/protege before finally holding steady at friend/colleague.

  JP was damn good at his job, and Wyatt had come to rely on him. But JP's background was in architectural photography. And the fact that the female models he faced every day were not only gorgeous, but often flat-out, one-hundred percent, provocatively nude, continued to be both a fascination to JP and, Wyatt suspected, the cause of a daily cold shower. Or three.

  Not that Wyatt could criticize. After all, he was the one who'd manufactured the sensual, erotic world in which both he and JP spent their days. For months, he'd lost himself daily inside this studio, locked in with a series of stunning women, their skin warm beneath his fingers as he gen
tly positioned them for the camera. Women eager to please. To move however he directed. To contort their bodies in enticing, provocative poses that were often unnatural and uncomfortable, and for no other reason than that he told them to.

  As long as they were in front of his camera, Wyatt owned those women, fully and completely. And he'd be lying to himself if he didn't admit that in many ways the photo shoots were as erotically charged as the ultimate photographs.

  So, yeah, he understood the allure, but he'd damn sure never succumbed to it. Not even when so many of his models had made it crystal clear that they were eager to move from his studio to his bedroom.

  There was just too much riding on this project.

  Too much? Hell, everything was riding on his upcoming show. His career. His life. His reputation. Not to mention his personal savings.

  Eighteen months ago he'd set out to make a splash in the world of art and photography, and in just twenty-seven days, he'd find out if he'd succeeded.

  What he hoped was that success would slam against him like a cannonball hitting water. So hard and fast that everybody in the vicinity ended up drenched, with him squarely at the center, the unabashed cause of all the commotion.

  What he feared was that the show would be nothing more than a ripple, as if he'd done little more than stick his big toe into the deep end of the pool.

  Behind him, JP coughed, the harsh sound pulling Wyatt from his thoughts. He glanced up, saw that each of the four women were staring at him with hope in their eyes, and felt like the ultimate heel.

  "Sorry to keep you waiting, ladies. Just trying to decide how I want you." He spoke without any innuendo, but the petite brunette giggled anyway, then immediately pressed her lips together and dipped her gaze to the floor. Wyatt pretended not to notice. "JP, go grab my Leica from my office. I'm thinking I want some black and white shots."

  He wasn't thinking that at all, not really. He was just buying time. Talking out of his ass while he decided what--if anything--to do with the girls.

  As he spoke, he moved toward the women, trying to figure out why the hell he was so damned uninterested in all of them. Were they really that inadequate? So unsuited for the role he needed to fill?

  Slowly, he walked around them, studying their curves, their angles, the soft glow of their skin under the muted lighting. This one had a haughty, aquiline nose. That one a wide, sensual mouth. Another had the kind of bedroom eyes that promised to fulfill any man's fantasies. The fourth, a kind of wide-eyed innocence that practically begged to be tarnished.

  Each had submitted a portfolio through her agent, and he'd spent hours poring over every photograph. He had one slot left in the show. The centerpiece. The lynchpin. A single women that would anchor all of his carefully staged and shot photos with a series of provocative images that he could already see clearly in his mind. A confluence of lighting and staging, of body and attitude. Sensuality coupled with innocence and underscored with daring.

  He knew what he wanted. More than that, somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind, he even knew who he wanted.

  So far, she hadn't wandered into his studio.

  But she was out there, whoever she was; he was certain of it.

  Too bad he only had twenty-seven days to find her.

  Which was why he'd stooped to scouring modeling agencies, even though his vision for this show had always been to use amateur models. Women whose features or attitude caught his attention on the beach, in the grocery store, wherever he might be. Women from his past. Women from his work. But always women who didn't make a living with their bodies. That had been his promise to himself from the beginning.

  And yet here he was, begging agents to send their most sensual girls to him. Breaking his own damn rule because he was desperate to find her. That elusive girl who was hiding in his mind, and who maybe--just maybe--had an agent and a modeling contract.

  But he knew she wouldn't. Not that girl.

  No, the girl he wanted would be a virgin with the camera, and he'd be the one who would first capture that innocence. That was his vision. The plan he'd stuck to for eighteen long months of squeezing in sessions between his regular commercial photography gigs. Almost two years of all-nighters in the dark room and surviving on coffee and protein bars because there wasn't time to order take-out, much less cook.

  Months of planning and worrying and slaving toward a goal. And those sweet, precious moments when he knew--really knew--that he was on the verge of creating something truly spectacular.

  He was exhausted, yes. But he was almost done.

  So far, he had over forty-one final images chosen for the show, each and every one perfect as far as he was concerned.

  He just needed the final nine. That last set of photos of his one perfect woman. Photos that would finally seal his vision--both of the girl in his mind and of what he wanted to accomplish with this solo exhibition.

  He'd sacrificed so much, and he was finally close. So damn close ... and yet here he was, just spinning his wheels with models who weren't what he wanted or needed.

  Fuck.

  With a sigh of frustration, Wyatt dragged his fingers through his thick, short hair. "Actually, ladies, I think we're done here. I appreciate your time and your interest in the project, and I'll review the shots I took today and be in touch with your agent if you're selected. You're free to get dressed and go."

  The girls all looked at each other, confused. For that matter, JP's face reflected that same confusion as he returned to the studio with Wyatt's Leica slung over his shoulder and a tall, familiar redhead at his side.

  "Siobhan," Wyatt said, ignoring the trepidation building in his gut. "I didn't realize we had a meeting scheduled."

  "I thought you were going to shoot a roll of black and white," JP said at the same time, holding up the Leica in the manner of a third grader at Show-and-Tell.

  In front of Wyatt, the girls paused in the act of pulling on their robes, obviously uncertain.

  "We're done," Wyatt said to them before turning his attention to his assistant. "I have everything I need to make a decision."

  "Right. Sure. You're the boss." But as he spoke he looked sideways at Siobhan, whose arms were now crossed over her chest, her brow furrowed with either confusion or annoyance. Quite probably both.

  But Wyatt had to hand it to her; she held in her questions until the last model had entered the hallway that led to the dressing room, and the door had clicked tight behind her.

  "You got what you needed?" she asked, cutting straight to the chase. "Does that mean one of those models is the girl you've been looking for?"

  "Is that why you're here? Checking my progress?" Shit. He sounded like a guilty little boy standing in front of the principal.

  Siobhan, thank God, just laughed. "One, I'm going to assume from the defensive tone that the answer is no. And two, I'm the director of your show first and foremost because we're friends. So take this in the spirit of friendship when I ask, what the fuck are you doing? We have less than a month to pull this all together. So if none of those girls are the one you need, then tell me what I can do to help. Because this is on me, too, remember? This show flops, and we both lose."

  "Thanks," he said dryly. "I appreciate the uplifting and heartfelt speech."

  "Screw uplifting. I want you on the cover of every art and photography magazine in the country, with your show booked out on loan to at least a dozen museums and galleries for the next five years. I couldn't care less if you're uplifted. I just want you to pull this off."

  "Is that all?" he asked, fighting a smile.

  "Hell no. I also want a promotion. My boss is considering moving to Manhattan. I covet her office."

  "Good to have a goal," JP said, tilting his head toward Wyatt. "I covet his."

  "Go," Wyatt said, waving his thumb toward the dressing room. "Escort the girls out through the back door. And then I'll see you tomorrow."

  "That's your subtle way of getting rid of me, isn't it?"

  "D
on't be ridiculous," Wyatt retorted. "I wasn't being subtle at all."

  JP smirked, but didn't argue. And with a wave to Siobhan, he disappeared into the back hallway.

  "So how can I help?" Siobhan asked once he was gone. "Should I arrange a round of auditions? After all, I know a lot of really hot women."

  That much was true enough. In fact, Siobhan's girlfriend, Cassidy, featured prominently in the show. And it had been through Cass that Wyatt had met Siobhan, who had both a background in art and a shiny new job as the assistant director of one of the more prestigious private art museums in Los Angeles.

  Originally, Wyatt had envisioned a significantly smaller show staged in his studio, not a gallery. The location was good, after all, and he anticipated a lot of foot traffic since folks could walk from the Third Street Promenade. He'd asked Cass to model about eight months ago, not only because she was stunning, but because he knew the flamboyant tattoo artist well enough to know that she wouldn't balk at any pose he came up with, no matter how provocative. Cass didn't have a shy bone in her body, and she was more than happy to shock--so long as the shock was delivered on her terms.

  Siobhan had come with her, and before the shoot, Wyatt had shown both of them three of the pieces he'd already finished so that Cass would have a sense of his vision. It was the first time he'd laid it out in detail, and it had been cathartic talking to Siobhan, who spoke the language, and Cass, who was an artist herself, albeit one whose canvas was skin and whose tools were ink and needles.

  He'd explained how he'd originally just wanted a break from the portraits and other commercial photography jobs that paid the bills. And, yes, he was beginning to make a name for himself artistically with his landscapes and city scenes. That success was gratifying, but ultimately unsatisfying because those subjects weren't his passion. There was beauty in nature, sure, but Wyatt wanted to capture physical, feminine eroticism on film.

  More than that, he wanted to make a statement, to tell a story. Beauty. Innocence. Longing. Ecstasy. He wanted to look at the world through the eyes of these women, and the women through the eyes of the world.

  Ultimately, he wanted to elevate erotic art. To use it to reveal more about the models than even they were aware. Strength and sensuality. Innocence and power. Passion and gentleness. He envisioned using a series of provocative, stunning images to manipulate the audience through the story of the show, sending them on a journey from innocence to debauchery and back again, and then leaving them breathless with desire and wonder.