A Hopeless Discovery

by Daniel Carson

  Katie bounced up and down. “Can we start with the really creepy guy?”

  I pointed to the lower right-hand corner of the whiteboard. “Katie’s talking about Johnny Driscoll. He’s in his late twenties. Has been with Bubba’s for seven years. He’s some kind of a computer genius. And in addition to helping out with the computer systems at Bubba’s, he runs an exhibit called Johnny’s Corner. Computerized light shows, robots, that kind of thing.”

  “And what do you think of him?” Granny asked.

  “For about a minute there, in his garage, when I thought his robot might attack me… I thought he might be our guy. He and Wanda had a big rivalry. He thought her old scrap-metal creatures were too old-school. To Johnny Driscoll, they might as well be Muppets. He’s into the newest, the sleekest, the high-tech. Wanda didn’t share his vision.”

  “So a good old-fashioned rivalry,” said Granny.

  “Yep.”

  “People have killed because of rivalry,” Katie added.

  “They have.”

  “But you don’t think he did it,” said Granny.

  “No.”

  Katie frowned. “You haven’t ruled him out either.”

  “No, I haven’t.”

  “How about Lucinda, the donut lady? What’s her story?” Granny asked.

  “You just said it. Donuts are her story. All it takes is one bite to understand why they won America’s Best Donut in 2014. Those apple donuts are incredible. She’s also in charge of all the food at Bubba’s, and she says she likes to do a little bit of everything around the place. Says it helps her understand the best food experience for the visitors.

  “Lucinda also gave me the juiciest piece of info so far. Once upon a time, Wanda and Kip Granger were one an item.”

  “Really?” said Granny.

  “She only found out about it after the fact, when Wanda confided in her. All she knows is they dated for a while and Wanda ultimately broke it off.”

  “And she thinks Kip killed her in some sort of lover’s feud?” asked Granny.

  “Maybe. Not really. But she also told me that the more she thought about it, Johnny just might be enough of a creep to do it.”

  “So Lucinda’s basically narrowing it down to Johnny or Kip,” Katie said.

  “Which is exactly what Mary Riley did as well. She thinks that of all the people Wanda argued with, her arguments with Johnny and Kip were the most heated.”

  “Okay, let’s talk about Mary next,” said Katie. “What’s her story?”

  “She’s the one who told me all about Bubba’s. How they got their start. How they brought Wanda on after that first season. How together, Bubba and Wanda dreamed up a lot of what Bubba’s would become. Mary told me it was difficult for many years—that Bubba’s dreams were always bigger than their finances. Until, about five years ago… the scales finally tipped. And now, she calls it a miracle.”

  Granny pointed at the whiteboard. “Mary said Johnny and Kip were the ones who had the most heated arguments with Wanda, but did Mary actually say she thought they may have done it?”

  I shook my head. “Nope. Seems like no one honestly suspects anyone. But one thing I found interesting. On that Saturday when the apple of Katie’s eye found Wanda’s skeleton, Mary and Bubba knew right away it must be Wanda. They said she ran off from time to time. Didn’t always see eye to eye with everyone. They figured this time she’d run off for good. Then when the body showed up, they knew it must be her.”

  “So what?” said Granny.

  “There was no hesitation. Bubba and Mary knew right away that it was Wanda.”

  Granny and Katie exchanged a look.

  “There’s something else,” I said, raising a finger. “I talked to Kip, and he said he remembered Wanda getting into a big argument with Mary right before she went missing, and that it made Wanda really, really mad. But then I talked to Bubba, and he said Wanda’s fight wasn’t with Mary, it was with him.”

  “And what do you think’s going on?” Katie asked.

  “My gut feeling? I think someone’s lying about that fight. And for whatever reason, I believe Kip. He didn’t want to talk initially, but once he did he was open. He admitted to his relationship with Wanda. He obviously didn’t trust me, yet he gave me the impression of a man with nothing to hide. Of all the people I spoke to, he’s the one I believe the most.”

  “So you think Bubba is lying,” Katie said.

  “Yes. I think he was covering for Mary. When I asked him about the fight, he said it was over what the next big exhibit would be. But I’m not buying it. For one thing, Bubba claims that she was mad because he’d firmly decided to build an indoor cafeteria. And I can’t help but notice that three years later… Bubba’s Pumpkin Patch has no indoor cafeteria.”

  “Okay, so you think it really was Mary who had the fight with Wanda. Any thoughts as to what the fight was about?” Granny asked.

  “I don’t have a clue. Maybe that’s the first piece of this puzzle that we have to put together.”

  “I suppose you could just run down to Bubba’s and ask him why there’s no indoor cafeteria,” Granny said.

  “And then you can ask Mary what the fight was really about,” Katie added.

  “I could,” I said. “But I’m thinking they’re not going to tell me. By now Bubba will have told Mary what he told me. Their story, if it is a story, is established, and they’ll both stick to it.”

  “Then how do we figure it out?” Granny asked.

  She and Katie were both silent, which was a minor miracle. Bess was silent because… well, she was Bess. All of us were thinking hard.

  Finally, Katie shook her head. “The problem is, we need to know what that argument was about. And the only people who know what it was about are Mary and maybe Bubba. If Wanda had told Lucinda, or Kip, or Johnny, we’d have heard about it. And she wouldn’t have told anyone else, because her entire life was at that pumpkin patch. It’s too bad she didn’t have a sister, or somebody she confided in.”

  As Katie spoke, Granny’s face changed. Like she remembered something. She turned to Bess, and the two of them exchanged a look. I’d seen that look a thousand times in my life. They’d exchanged information.

  Granny turned back to me and let out an uncomfortable breath. “It’s possible that there were some people outside of Bubba’s who at one point were pretty close with Wanda.”

  “Who?”

  “The people who attended our monthly poker game.”

  “Monthly poker game? Why do I not know about a monthly poker game?”

  “Because I never told you about it before.”

  “Why? It’s just poker.”

  “Well, it is and it isn’t. I didn’t want to have to tell you just how much money I was gambling. You see, the poker game I’m talking about… it was high stakes. And Wanda was a regular.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  I pointed my finger at Granny. “You!” Then I swung it at Bess. “And you!”

  Both of them looked down at the floor.

  “I can’t believe this!” I shouted. “You knew Wanda! She was in your regular poker game! And you didn’t think of telling me this on Sunday when we talked about the case at Buck’s?”

  Granny raised her hands. “No, I did think about it. I just didn’t do it. And there’s a reason for that.”

  “This better be good.”

  “Trust me, it is. Remember that fighting movie with Brad Pitt?”

  “What?”

  “You know, Brad Pitt, that sexy guy who was married to the skinny chick with the big lips.”

  “I know who Brad Pitt is, Granny.”

  “He’s got that movie about men beating the crap out of each other.”

  “Fight Club?”

  “That’s the one. Well, we don’t know how they did it, but we’re pretty sure Fight Club did some serious copyright infringement when they made that movie.”

  “I am so confused.”

  “Do you know what the first ru
le of Poker Night is? You guessed it. The first rule of Poker Night is that you do not talk about Poker Night. It’s one of those ironclad kind of rules. Listen, Hope, if this were some chump-change poker game, I would have told you a long time ago. But I’m not talking about chump change. People can win a lot of money at our games…” She made a face. “And they can lose a lot of money.”

  “Define a lot. Fifty bucks?”

  Granny shook her head.

  “A hundred?”

  Now Granny just looked uncomfortable.

  “A thousand?”

  She shrugged. So did Bess.

  “More than a thousand dollars?”

  Granny waved her hands back and forth. “But never more than ten.”

  “TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS? Are you insane?”

  “In our defense, the reaction you’re having is the whole reason we don’t talk about the game in the first place. Also, I’m pretty sure it’s illegal. And to be honest, when we first heard about Wanda, Bess and I assumed the poker game didn’t have anything to do with her murder.”

  “And now?” I asked.

  Granny let out a big sigh. “Now I’m not so sure.”

  The thought of Granny sitting around, smoking cigars, and playing poker with other old ladies was not at all odd. In fact, it suited her. But the thought of her playing poker for thousands of dollars… that blew my mind.

  “Why do you play for so much money?” Katie asked.

  “It didn’t start out that way. But over time, the stakes just grew. I don’t know… when you’re old and your joints don’t work, there’s only so much you can do to feel alive and… on the edge.” She shrugged. “This is one way to live on the edge.”

  “But what if you lose big?” I asked. “Couldn’t you go broke?”

  “It doesn’t happen. We’re all fairly even players, so over time, the winning and losing balances out.”

  “But it could happen,” said Katie.

  “Sure, but we’re big girls. We know what we’re getting into.”

  I couldn’t believe this. My own grandmother was a regular participant in a crazy high-stakes poker game. Not to mention Bess. But I couldn’t think about this right now. I had to focus on the murder investigation.

  And on the witness who had been withholding evidence.

  “Okay, Granny, your secret’s out now, so spill. Obviously you think this poker game might have something to do with Wanda’s death. Tell me how.”

  “I’m not saying that! But I’ll tell you what I know. About three years ago, Wanda stopped playing in our monthly game.”

  “I imagine it’s difficult to play poker when you’re dead,” Katie said.

  “No, smart aleck, before that. She didn’t come to our poker night one night, even though I had seen her driving through town earlier that day. I asked Flo why Wanda wasn’t playing, and she said Wanda wouldn’t be back. When we asked why, Flo said she didn’t want to talk about it.”

  Flo was in on this too? So many questions. But I stuck to the case.

  “And you just left it at that?” I asked.

  “Well, I was working on a straight flush for a five-hundred-dollar pot at the time, so I was a little distracted.”

  “And that was it? Your poker buddy Wanda was gone forever, and you never followed up with Flo about it.”

  “Well, ‘buddy’ is a strong word. Wanda was a regular. That’s about it. And then she wasn’t. For a bunch of old ladies who’ve experienced our fair share of loss, a missing Wanda really wasn’t that big of a deal.”

  “But now you think she was murdered because of your secret, irresponsible poker game.”

  “Stop putting words in my mouth! I said nothing of the sort. You said we need to start by putting in one piece of the puzzle. And this is a piece, isn’t it? I never did find out from Flo why Wanda didn’t come to our game that night.”

  “And now?”

  “I think it’s time we find out.”

  Granny, Bess, Katie, and I all took seats inside Flo’s Beauty Parlor while Flo locked the door, put the closed sign in the window, and lowered the shades. Flo then turned to Granny and Bess and shook her head in disappointment.

  “I didn’t have a choice!” said Granny. “It’s a murder investigation.”

  “Well, the deed is done,” said Flo. “Do we have them take the blood oath?”

  “What’s the blood oath?” Katie asked.

  Flo leaned forward. “It’s where you take a knife, slice your palm, and let the blood drip into a little dish while you promise to never, ever talk about Poker Night. And for the record, the blood oath used to mean something around here.” She shot Granny a look.

  “It’s a murder investigation!” Granny yelled. “And we haven’t made anyone take the blood oath in years. I say you make them drink the hooch.”

  Katie and I exchanged a look, then in unison we said, “The hooch?”

  Flo pulled out her keys and unlocked a wooden cabinet in the corner of her shop. She pulled out what looked like a moonshine jug from a comic strip, along with two glasses. She filled the glasses and brought them over to me and Katie.

  “Do you promise to never, ever talk about Poker Night?” she said. She spoke in a tone I had never, ever heard from Flo before.

  “Do we really have to promise?” Katie asked.

  “You either make the promise, or I’m not giving you any information.”

  Katie and I grabbed the little shot glasses. “I promise to never ever talk about Poker Night,” I said.

  Katie nodded. “Ditto.”

  Then we threw back our hooch.

  For the first half second, I thought I was going to be okay. Then the real power of the hooch kicked in. I was on the floor, on my hands and knees, coughing like my throat had just been attacked by an army of demons.

  Katie was right there with me, her eyes watering. “Is this what death feels like, Hope?”

  I didn’t want to use what little energy I had to open my mouth. But Katie had it right. I was pretty sure this was what death felt like.

  I stumbled to my feet, went over to one of Flo’s sinks, and splashed water on my face. Then I stuck the little hair-washing wand in my mouth and sprayed. That felt better.

  It took us a few minutes to regain full control of our faculties. And I promised myself, if I were ever again given the choice between slicing my hand with a knife or taking the hooch… I would bleed like a stuck pig.

  “You two done rolling around like a couple of sissies?” Granny said.

  “What in holy hell is in that stuff?” asked Katie, massaging her throat with both hands.

  “By the taste of it, you’d think it was a combination of gasoline and Tabasco sauce, wouldn’t you?” said Flo.

  “Please tell me it’s not actually a combination of gasoline and Tabasco sauce,” I said.

  Flo winked. “Okay, it’s not actually a combination of gasoline and Tabasco sauce.”

  Katie dug her fingernails into my forearm. “Oh dear God, we’re going to die.”

  Flo sat down in her beauty chair and folded her hands in her lap, the tips of her fingers tapping against each other. Somehow sweet Flo the hairdresser had been transformed into a hard-edged Mafia don.

  “So what do you want to know about Poker Night?” she said.

  “We understand Wanda Wegman was a part of Poker Night,” I said.

  “She was.”

  “And that around three years ago, shortly before we think she was murdered… she stopped coming to Poker Night.”

  “That’s right.”

  Granny leaned forward. “Flo, what we want to know is, why did Wanda stop coming? I never asked you at the time, but I’m asking you now.”

  Flo’s eyes widened. “I didn’t murder her. Are you saying I murdered her?”

  “No, no,” I said. “It never crossed my mind. We’re just trying to better understand what Wanda was up to right around the time of her murder. Hopefully, it can give us a lead.”

  Flo looked uncert
ain.

  “So why did Wanda stop coming?” Granny asked again.

  “Because… I told her not to come back.”

  “What? Why?” I said.

  Flo hesitated, then she climbed off of her chair and walked back to that cabinet in the corner. She pulled out a metal box, rifled through it, and took out an envelope. She handed that envelope to me.

  “Because of this,” she said.

  I opened the envelope and pulled out a twenty-dollar bill inside a clear plastic sleeve. I held it up so Granny, Bess, and Katie could all see it.

  “You asked her not to come back because of a twenty-dollar bill?”

  Flo sat back down on her chair. “I’ve been running a small business since forever, and every once in a while, I’ll take a class or go to a conference to learn what I can. Several years ago, I took a one-day class in Boise on fraud. It covered things like bad checks, credit card swipers, and counterfeit money. I found the whole thing fascinating—especially the business about counterfeit money—and by the end of the day, I got pretty good at spotting fakes. So after that, I routinely inspected the bills that came through my shop to see if they were legit.”

  “And were they?” Katie asked.

  “Almost always, yes. But every once in a while, a counterfeit bill shows up. Not from a counterfeiter, mind you. I’ve done a little extra research on the subject, and it’s amazing how much counterfeit money is floating around our country.”

  “And this particular twenty is a counterfeit?” I asked.

  “It is,” Flo said, “and it came from Wanda. I’m not sure what Granny has already told you about our game.”

  “Just that it’s monthly and it’s pretty high-stakes,” I said.

  “And the stakes are high enough that we have a gentlewoman’s agreement: a player has until the following month to pay off her debt. That gives people a chance to get a paycheck or Social Security benefits…”

  “Or sell an organ,” said Katie.

  “Precisely,” said Flo without even flinching. “Anyway it just so happens that three years ago and some change, I won a significant amount of money from Wanda.”