Dancing Barefoot

by Amber Lea Easton

  She couldn't explain and right now she hated herself for feeling ashamed. She and her mother had had good times, too, growing up. It hadn't been a constant nightmare. There had been girls' nights where they'd paint each other's toes, watch chick flicks, and gossip. She'd loved those moments.

  At the hospital, Sela worked her magic and convinced the police to let them take it from there.

  "I hate you!" Julie spit at her. "Thorn in my side is all you are. I'm fine. You never want me to enjoy myself. I gave everything up for you, everything! You're the reason why every man left me. They couldn't stand being around you."

  Jessica ignored her mother's rant and continued to fill out the paperwork. Sela and Jane stood at her side, obviously uncomfortable, which is exactly why she had done this alone all of her life. She'd never wanted to carry the label or have anyone think of her as a victim. Her hand shook on the pen as the insults continued.

  "She used to always be drawing, that one. I left her alone with markers one time and she drew all over the walls, created an entire forest. I caught hell from the landlord for that one. Bitch." Julie laughed before losing her focus and muttering about Edward leaving and never coming back.

  Finally, the sedative the nurse had given Julie kicked in and she became docile before their eyes. She handed the nurse the final paperwork and walked to her mother who had drifted off to sleep. Gently, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

  "She used to be the prettiest woman I had ever known," she told her friends. "We used to dance in the kitchen while she made dinner and sometimes she would let me help her with her makeup before she went on a date. All she ever wanted was to be loved."

  "Come on." Sela squeezed her shoulder. "The night is still young and we are not going to let it end on this note. You are the youngest associate partner in your firm's history and, damn it, we want to celebrate you."

  "That's right, Jessie." Jane fell into step beside her. "I'm thinking we go old school, find some take-out and cheap wine."

  As they left the hospital, she thought about Marc's smile when he had turned his back on her. All of the moments of suspicion she had ever had about him stirred to life and whispered a warning.

  * * *

  Ava had called for them to meet at the hotel room. Simone had flown to Los Angeles and, according to her text message to his sister, wanted an answer in thirty minutes regarding his decision. Considering it was Wednesday, she had jumped the gun on her ultimatum.

  "What are you going to do?" Kevin asked after a silent cab ride to the hotel.

  "Ava wants me to take the first option." He strode through the lobby, thoughts with Jessica and wishing he had been able to be with her and her friends instead of dealing with yet another Simone created problem.

  "The first option?" Kevin pushed the elevator button and frowned. "Isn't that the one where you stand by Simone's side for the next few months and she paints you as a hero?"

  "She tells the truth, you mean." He gritted his teeth. Ava had received the same package Jessica had and, not only had she been blindsided, but hurt that he had kept the secret from her for so long.

  His attempt at protecting his family had failed. Ava had sounded furious on the phone. He leaned heavily against the back wall of the elevator and watched the ascending numbers. He didn't want to take option one. He wanted to tell the world what a manipulative bitch Simone was, but that wouldn't exactly make him sound sympathetic.

  "I want to go back to Italy, to Florence with Jessica, and work on our house," he said, surprising both Kevin and himself. "Or stay here for awhile, maybe skip the Amazon trip."

  Kevin cleared his throat and sighed, "You can't start hiding after this, no matter what Simone does tonight."

  "Is it hiding to want to slow life down and be with the one you love?" He shrugged without looking at the other man. "I don't think it is. I think it might be the smartest thing I have ever done."

  When the elevator doors opened, he led the way toward Ava's room. They had only ten minutes to reply to Simone's text, but he knew in his heart what he would do.

  Ava opened the door with a flourish, her normally put together facade worn away by tears and stress. She turned her back on them and walked into the sitting room where the television had been turned to the Entertainment Network.

  "You have no idea how betrayed I feel by my own brother," Ava said as she handed him the phone. "You disappeared from my life, but then you refused to tell me where you had been. We were like best friends, not only siblings. For three years, you have allowed that woman into our lives and made us all treat her with respect. Why? What did your sacrifice get you, cheri?"

  "I wanted to protect the family," he said.

  "So you used your own trust fund when father could have probably made a few calls to save you?" She folded her arms across her chest and shook her head. "Now she is going to bring us all down anyway. Why her? Those pictures of you and her in bed...I don't think I can look at you ever again. What if Jessica sees those?"

  "She has," Kevin said from his side. "She wants him to choose option two."

  Ava looked between them both with disbelief shading her eyes. "I do not believe she would say that. Think of the scandal, Jacques. Your book and your exhibit are all about—"

  "Finding the beauty in the world because there is more beauty than not," he finished for her and tossed the phone onto the sofa. "That is what I will say. I have my own side of the story, Ava. I am not a monster who murdered a girl—who happened to be twenty years old and overdosed on her own. I did not want to shame the family by letting you know what had happened to me so I took care of it."

  Ava shook her head and paced, her blonde hair coming loose from the knot she'd wrapped at the top of her head. "You will take option one. I blame Jessica, too, and I am sorry for it, but I do. If she had stayed with you, then you would never have—"

  "That chapter is closed, never bring it up again. We have moved on and so should you." He looked at Ava's phone when it beeped. Simone texted with a warning: five minutes.

  "Ava, he can't give in to Simone's blackmail." Kevin grabbed the phone and replied, 'fuck you' before she took it from his hands.

  "She will ruin the Sinclair name. Do you know how hard I have worked for Ava Sinclair Originals? Why should I have to pay for your sins? You say you thought of your family before, I'm asking you to do so again." She thrust the phone at him. "Tell her you will do as she says. What do you care if she hangs on your arm for a few more months? Perhaps—if we spin this correctly—it could become good for you."

  "I'm surprised you would put your label over all else," he said.

  "Only for a few months, until after the fall fashion week in September. Then you can be with Jessica again if you want. Please. For me. I have never asked you for anything—"

  "Don't do this, Ava. Don't ask him." Kevin placed himself between the two siblings. "It isn't right. He did nothing wrong."

  "You encouraged Jessica to intervene, to get me away from Simone, now you are contradicting yourself. Am I hearing it all correctly? I want to make sure I have all of the information accurate in my head when I am cursing you later." He looked at the phone.

  Two minutes.

  "You lied to us all!" Ava stomped her foot, looking like a deranged fashion diva dressed in all white. "I thought you had died and now I learn that you could have and we may never have known."

  "I'm sorry, that was never—"

  "Think of Jessica, think of the scandal, think of your family. Just go along with it until she gets whatever it is she wants."

  He hit reply on the phone, his fingers shaking as he typed on the keyboard. He had promised Jessica a life of extraordinary possibility...He had an image of her on an Italian beach, long hair flying around her shoulders as she had screamed at the top of her lungs, "I believe in love!" He smiled at the memory, his thumb hovering over the send button. She had gone back for him. It hadn't been a lie. He needed to trust it would last even if they delayed things for a whil
e.

  "Don't do it, Jacques. I'm on your side in this and so is Jessica." Kevin stared at him with an intensity that bordered on desperation. "Cut the head off the snake, goddamn it."

  He lifted his gaze to Ava's.

  "Please, Jacques, I cannot stand the idea of this. Tell her you will be on her side, that we all will be." Ava looked visibly ill at the thought. "My business is finally taking off, so are you."

  He nodded and sent Simone a text saying he would comply. He chose option one.

  Kevin grabbed the phone and tossed it onto the table. "What's next? We compromise all of our integrity for Hollywood?"

  "We leave in a month for the Amazon, by the time I return she will have moved on with whatever she wants to do with this." He felt hollowed out and ruined as he looked Ava in the eye. "Are you happy now? Jessica will never trust me again after this."

  "Love always finds a way," she said softly, gaze averted.

  "Says the woman who hasn't had a date in years." Kevin shook his head in disgust. He faced Jacques. "This time I really do quit. I can't work for a sell out. What about Jessica? You two are officially engaged again, isn't that what you said?"

  "What?" Ava gaped at him. "But it has only been a few—"

  "Too late for you to ask questions now, ma chère sœur." He sneered at the words 'my dear sister', hoping she picked up on the sarcasm.

  They all turned at the sound of the Entertainment News show's introduction. Simone came into view, looking flawless. Her reality show, International Supermodel, aired on this network. She sat with the host and smiled directly into the camera. Her smugness needed no translation.

  "Let her transition begin," Jacques said with a sigh. He turned his back on the television and faced Ava. "She is using us all, cares nothing about anyone but herself. Perhaps you can relate to her more than you thought, yes? You will be the best of friends now."

  "That isn't fair." Ava's eyes filled with tears again as she sank onto the sofa and stared at the television. "If I had known about any of this before tonight, maybe I could have thought it through more, but we didn't have time."

  "It is done." He sighed and shoved his hands through his hair. "I will explain it to Jessica and we will make it work."

  "Jessica—"

  "Forgives me." He shrugged in disbelief, a sense of awe filling him from deep inside. "She knows everything and forgives me. We are starting over, as we are now, past forgiven. You should spend more time with her, maybe learn something about being a selfless person."

  "That isn't fair." She tilted her chin up in defiance and glared at him. "It is because of me that you two are back together."

  "It is because of you that we now have to be apart." He spat out the words, his frustration taking a toll on his restraint.

  "No, that is all your doing. You and that slut Simone and all of the whoring around you did across the fucking planet." Ava stood and pointed at him. "You were raised better. You are a Sinclair! Think about what this would do to our father. We have a name we are proud of and you will go to your exhibit on Saturday with Simone by your side and you will smile and say all of the right things until we can finally say goodbye to her like civilized people."

  "There is nothing civilized about pretending to be something we are not." Never in his life had been this furious with his sister.

  "You are wrong, that is how most people live." More hair fell from the loose twist as she paced around the room. "You are the exception, mon cher frère."

  "Here we go..." Kevin looked at the screen, his arms folded over his chest, and sighed as images of Simone and Jacques in the prison came into view as Simone's voice spoke of the horror they had overcome.

  "I never wanted any of this to come to light. There is not one thing that I am proud of about that experience," he said to Ava. "I have spent years trying to forget it."

  She said nothing, remained still and unmoving on the sofa, arms hugging herself as tears silently rolled down her face. His heart broke for all of them because he knew their relationship had now splintered and morphed into something he no longer recognized.

  With a final look at the television, he left the room alone. He rode down in the elevator, his thoughts a thousand miles away, anger long gone and replaced with sadness for the idealistic young people they had all once been and remorse for the jaded adults they had become.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Weary from the past few hours, Jessica walked up the stairs to her building with Sela and Jane by her side. They carried Chinese take-out and bottles of wine. Thanks to Sela's connections, no charges had been filed. Instead they had taken Julie to the hospital and committed her to a seventy-two hour psych hold. She had fought them the entire time, not recognizing Jessica and screaming about being abducted.

  "Marc set this up, you know that, right?" Jane had been the first one to say what the others had been thinking. "He didn't even try to help us when he saw what had happened. Isn't he always visiting your mom? That's one reason I always thought you two might eventually get together, he had this closeness with you that the rest of us didn't."

  Jessica sighed and dropped her things on the floor next to the door. Shoes off, she walked to the kitchen, mind still filled with the images of her mother screaming and spitting at them.

  Sela walked to the bedroom and returned dressed in a pair of borrowed jeans and a sweatshirt. They sat on the floor around the coffee table in silence as they distributed the food onto their various plates.

  When the door opened, all three turned to look at Jacques who looked startled to see them. Shirt untucked and partially unbuttoned, hair a mess as if he'd been shoving his hands through it for hours, he grinned at her before tossing his suit jacket over the back of the sofa.

  "Either the food sucked at the restaurant or something went wrong." He slid onto the floor next to her, his long legs beneath the table and arm looping on the sofa cushions behind her back. "I'm Jacques," he said to Jane who gaped at him. "We have not met yet."

  "This is Jane, she's a high school counselor and we've also known each other since college," she said as she poured him a glass of wine. "My mom showed up high at the restaurant—a complete mess. The police were called, she was hallucinating. We ended up at the hospital with her."

  So matter of fact. She felt devoid of emotion as she stated the facts before piercing a piece of sesame chicken with her fork.

  "He knows?" Jane tucked a long strand of brown hair behind her ear and studied her from across the table with troubled eyes. "I don't understand why you kept her a secret from us. We would have understood. Just about everyone I know has an addict in their family. I was a psychology major, for God's sake."

  Jacques dropped his hand to her shoulder and squeezed. "Secrets do not always make sense to others, but shame can be a powerful motivator for keeping them, even when others do not understand why you would feel like that."

  "I love you," she said out loud in front of her friends for the first time. She pressed a hand against the side of his face, looked him in the eye, and smiled despite the tears that burned the back of her eyes. "I love you so much."

  "I love you, too. Always have, always will." He squeezed her shoulder again, pain shadowing the depths of his green eyes. "Simone made her announcement on an interview with the Entertainment Network tonight. Ava is very upset with me."

  "That's why you left?" Sela asked from where she sat cross-legged across the coffee table from them. "Where is Kevin?"

  "With Ava." He drank his wine while gazing around the table at the Sela and Jane. "Where is Marc?"

  The women all shared a look and said nothing.

  "Is there more to the story?" he asked.

  "This really sucks as a celebration dinner." Sela moved her food around her plate with a fork, not really eating any of it. "So Jessica tells me you have a hot single friend named Carter. Is he coming to town soon?"

  Jacques tipped his head back and laughed. "Carter? You said he is my hot friend?"

  "Is he not
hot?" Sela pointed her fork in her direction. "Jessie, you said he'd be my type."

  "Women hate Carter." Still laughing, Jacques reached for one of the cartons and investigated their contents. "Actually, they only hate him after they have dated him. I have never thought of him as hot."

  "He's sexy." Jessica winked at Sela.

  Jacques looked at her with raised eyebrows. "Really? You think of Carter as sexy?"

  "Oh, please, look at these two." She motioned to her friends. "Are you telling me you don't think of these two as hot? How would you describe them to Carter?"

  He drank the wine and looked at each of them before shrugging. "I see your point. They are both beautiful women, but I do not want to sleep with either of them."

  "Gee, thanks." Jane leaned back on her palms, legs stretched out on the floor, ankles crossed, and sighed. "That is the story of my life. Men don't want to sleep with me."

  "You are too good for most, I am guessing." Jacques relaxed visibly, his smile lazy as he pulled Jessica against his side. "You are classy, smart, caring. I imagine you are a hopeless romantic."

  "I am." Jane agreed, tilting her head to the side and looking at him through narrowed eyes. "Know anyone who would be good enough for me? Sounds like Sela has laid claim to this Carter character."

  He laughed again, the sound refreshing to hear after her night. She dropped her hand to his thigh and sighed. "I can see her with Kevin."

  "Kevin?" He sputtered with surprise.

  "Yeah." She tilted her head up to look him in the eye. "He's one of the good guys, right? He strikes me as very loyal. He's good looking—" she looked back at Jane—" the kind of good looking where you think he must be gay because he knows how to dress and takes care of himself—"

  "Kevin?" He laughed again.

  "I can see it," Sela said after finishing the wine in her glass. "I met him. You two would be a stylish pair. Very chic."

  "My Kevin? The assistant I fire every day?" Jacques refilled his glass with wine, a smile remaining on his lips. "He is a good man, I can admit that. Loyal to a fault, some might say. As for the rest...I have no comment. My mind is blown by this—Carter is hot and Kevin is sexy. I had no idea."