“Is that why he visited you last autumn? Mrs. Collins has mentioned it, and so has my cousin Darcy.”
Elizabeth nodded. “He said so in his letter. It seems once he arrived, he had the additional inducement of looking for a wife.”
“Ah, and none of his cousins suited him?”
Elizabeth stifled a laugh, something which seemed to give Miss de Bourgh glee. “I could not say. I am excessively happy for my friend and believe she has found a spouse who suits her very well.”
“I am sure you are correct. However, I always observed that Mr. Collins was the one who gained the most from the union.”
“As you have known him longer than I have, I will bow to your superior knowledge. Although”—Elizabeth leaned in close again— “do not underestimate the value of your mother’s advice or the advantages of chickens in my friend’s happiness.”
Miss de Bourgh finally openly laughed, and Elizabeth felt all the pleasure of having earned what she assumed was not easily given. Mrs. Jenkinson glanced at her charge from where she played cards with Lady Catherine, but Miss de Bourgh waved her off.
“I like you, Miss Bennet,” Miss de Bourgh said when she had regained the capacity to speak. “I can see why he does as well.”
Elizabeth held her breath at the unspoken mention of Darcy. Had he told his cousin of their recent encounters? She had always supposed him to be a very private man.
“I understand you enjoy reading,” Miss de Bourgh said.
The sudden change in conversation left Elizabeth confused, but she replied that she did.
“Excellent. Before you leave this evening, there is a work I should loan you. I believe you will enjoy reading it.”
The other table, which had evidently taken their activity more seriously than Elizabeth’s, soon ended their game, and Elizabeth was asked to perform on the pianoforte. Elizabeth sighed to herself as the others sat around Lady Catherine as she sermonized on some topic or other. Not for the first time, Elizabeth observed that although her skills were nothing impressive and that, in general, music hindered conversation rather than encouraged it, the request secured Elizabeth in the adjoining room where she could not intrude on the discussion. Undoubtedly, it was all by design so her ladyship could speak without interruption.
As she played this evening, she considered that on her next visit to the estate, she might be met as a niece. What would Lady Catherine’s reaction to that be? Her daughter did not seem disappointed by the thought. Whilst Elizabeth had years of experience with silly relatives, she could not say she had many encounters with overbearing ones. Lady Catherine did not intimidate her, but the thought of aligning herself with such an obtrusive and annoying relation did give pause. In the end, Elizabeth dispelled such thoughts. Such things would hardly matter if she were really in love with a gentleman, although she could scarcely suppose that Mr. Darcy would be capable of provoking such a sensation.
Before leaving in the carriage to return to the parsonage, Miss de Bourgh gave Elizabeth the promised book. Upon inspection in her bedchamber, a letter fell out of it.
My Dearest Love,
Are you shocked to receive a letter from me? Forgive me, but I could not bear to wait a fortnight to begin my courtship in earnest. I have discussed the matter with my cousin, and she has agreed to be a courier for us. That is, if you should like to reply. I understand the risks involved in doing so and do not wish to pressure you into anything with which you do not feel comfortable. I have arranged several letters for her to give you regardless of any further communication between us.
I know how much you enjoy walking in the countryside. I confess it is one of the things which attracts me to you the most. I do not enjoy spending much time in London, as I find it too stifling and overpopulated. At my home, or when I visit other counties, I enjoy riding or walking about for exercise as well.
Near Rosings, there is a glen which is a favourite of mine. It is not too far from the lane you favour. If you turn on the footpath near the great oak tree and continue until you see a copse of willows, you shall find it. When you visit, I hope you will think of me. If I were present with you, I would admire the way the sun highlighted your face, bringing out a healthy blush. I would drown in your eyes, brightened by the exercise. I have often imagined seeing the sun on your uncovered hair. I cannot be sure, but I think there may be hues of chestnut among your mahogany tresses. Under the willow trees, I would offer you delectable treats and envy everything you put to your lips.
I know you would tease and laugh at me. In the past, you have assumed I remained mute because I hated the society I was in. What you could not comprehend was that I was rendered dumb by your beauty, grace, and intelligence. Too many times whilst at N— together, I was fascinated by your wit and the rapidity of your mind. The way you challenged me intrigued me. Increasingly, I noted a feeling of disappointment when you chose to end our discussions. I am confident I even felt jealous of my dearest friend when you came to his defence one evening. Once in London, I realised what my heart had been whispering in H—. My heart had found what it was searching for, and no one else would do.
When I see you next, I will attempt to moderate my stupidity. However, do not be surprised if I am overcome with admiration once more. I fear, my beloved, that it may be many more meetings before I can put aside my appreciation of you enough to speak openly. I am hardly at ease doing so in any environment, and as I shall call on you at G— Street, I did not want you to misunderstand the nature of my behaviour. To this reason, I intend to call on your relations before your arrival. I believe Mr. B shall renew his attentions to your sister, and I will accompany him there on occasion. Although I am uncomfortable with new acquaintances, I will make every effort to become their friend. I do this not to change your opinion of me but because I have an acquaintance in London, and I should visit her. There is the added inducement of hoping I shall be over my nerves by the time of your arrival. However, regardless of how comfortable I feel in your aunt’s drawing room, I cannot promise that I will be able to do more than drink in the sight of you. I hope this does not offend.
Yours always and affectionately…
*****
The following morning, Elizabeth took the path described by Darcy. When she reached the glen, she smiled at the view. She could see why he would enjoy this area. It was secluded. A private space for a private man.
Would she return communications with him? It was quite the risk. If they were exposed, her reputation could be ruined. Oh, Darcy would surely offer marriage again—but did she wish for that? Only a few days ago she had thought him the last man in the world she would be willing to marry.
Elizabeth shook her head. Perhaps that was a little hyperbolic. At certain times, he might have been the last, such as just after she gathered from Colonel Fitzwilliam that Darcy had separated Bingley and Jane. However, most of the time, Darcy was merely annoying or a source of amusement. Surely there were worse men in the world. She would have preferred the haughty and annoying man from Derbyshire over Mr. Collins.
No, she did not wish to marry Darcy at present. She was unsure if they could truly be friends, with their past and his present feelings. The only way to know him better was to either accept his courtship or rebuff him entirely when he had asked to court her in London. She did not need to decide at present, but surely, he would want a definitive answer when she arrived in town. While she could terminate their arrangement at any moment without damage to her reputation, she did not think it was kind to trifle with his feelings. When she accepted seeing him in London, she had not anticipated he would court her from afar. However, now that he was doing so, she had the opportunity to determine her feelings before reaching town. Once there she would need to tell him if he had any hope of obtaining her hand in marriage.
Thoughts of London turned her mind to acknowledging how he had righted his wrong against Jane. It said very much about Darcy’s character that he took measures to tell Bingley of his deviousness. Drawing her knees
up to her chin, Elizabeth wrapped her arms around her legs as she thought. The fact that Darcy could use such arts at all said nothing good about him. She had always supposed right and wrong were as clearly distinct as black and white. However, perhaps they were more like night and day. There were moments when you were not quite sure of the hour. The haze of dusk and dawn left one confused. The only sure fit was to wait and see. That was all she could do at present. The truth always came out in the end.
Chapter Six
Darcy read over Anne’s letter with a frown. Elizabeth had sent no messages to him. He had assumed she would not—at least not right away—and yet he could not prevent the disappointment which tugged at his heart. Wooing her in person might assuage some of his longings, but he was unsure it was the best way to allow her to change her opinion of him. She needed time to see him in a different light, and nothing showed the change in one person better than absence.
A knock interrupted his thoughts, and Bingley was shown into his study. “Are you ready to leave?”
Darcy smiled at his friend. Bingley had been angered by Darcy’s deceit. However, it only lasted until he had seen Miss Bennet once more. He reserved far more anger for his sister, who had not only concealed Miss Bennet’s visit but also treated her shabbily. Darcy had not suggested that to Miss Bingley, but in truth, he might have. Elizabeth showed him that he was not above being rude and impolite when it served his purposes.
“Of course.” Darcy rose from his seat. “I look forward to meeting the Gardiners.”
“You will be quite impressed with them,” Bingley said with a grin. “They are nothing like Mrs. Bennet or her sister. I think even you will see it must be where Jane and Miss Elizabeth get their grace and intelligence.”
Darcy chose not to correct his friend on the impropriety of calling Miss Bennet by her Christian name. It was not as though he did not do the same with Elizabeth and he had no encouragement from her. Nor were Bingley’s intentions any secret from Darcy. A shred of insecurity nipped at the back of his mind. This was another connection to Elizabeth, and should she refuse him again, it would be another tie he must break or bear to see her through. It added to his anxiety, but he would repress it. He would conquer it to do what was right. They were worthy of his esteem, and Miss Bennet was his acquaintance. He should call on her in any case, but how could he refuse the request of his closest friend? He would do what a true gentleman did and put the needs of others above his own.
An hour later, Darcy left the Gracechurch Street abode of Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner with a smile on his face. Bingley clapped him on the back. “You can breathe now, Darcy. I told you there was nothing to fear. The Gardiners are very respectable, and Jane would never hold a grudge.”
Darcy nodded, although it was not the eldest Miss Bennet he had worried about.
“I have never understood why you and Caroline detested the Gardiners so much when I have ties to trade as well,” Bingley said once the carriage was moving.
“I cannot speak for your sister,” Darcy said, “but I never disliked the Gardiners on the principle that they were from trade. Your ties are not as strong as one who actively pursues the profession, of course. I am uncertain I ever thought of the Gardiners at all.”
Bingley gave Darcy an incredulous look. “Do not lie to me. You pointed out Miss Bennet’s low connections to me just as well as Caroline did. I am certain it must be why you never acted on your attraction to Miss Elizabeth.”
“My what?” Darcy sputtered. He had not thought others noticed his admiration.
“Do not be so surprised.” Bingley laughed. “Caroline was not the only one to see how you were with Miss Elizabeth. I have never known you to spend so much time staring at a lady, let alone speaking with her! You fancied her; admit it.”
Darcy sighed, tired of the facade and knowing that he had promised Elizabeth to court her in truth when she arrived in London. “Very well.” Darcy nodded. “I ardently admire Elizabeth.”
“And?” Bingley leaned forward with an expectant and eager look. “I know you saw her in Kent.”
“And I have plans to ask for her hand in marriage.”
“Indeed!” Bingley sat back, astonished. Then a troubled look passed over his face. “Darcy…I do not know how to tell you but…”
“She does not like me?” Darcy stared out a window as he said it. The less pain Bingley saw him express, the better.
“If you know that, then I am confused as to why you wish to marry her.”
“It cannot be helped. It is a foolish cause, but it would be more foolish not to propose to the lady whom I love.”
“Love!” Bingley cried in amazement.
Darcy swung his head to his friend. “Why else would I want to marry her? You have said it yourself: her connections can do nothing for me. Not that I ever considered that very much anyway. If I had, I would have married years ago.”
“Yes, I suppose your cousin has been waiting in the wings for you.”
Darcy laughed. “You suppose incorrectly. She has been in love with my cousin Richard, only he is too stupid to notice.”
“Is that right?” Bingley joined in the laughter. “I am curious how you know Miss Elizabeth dislikes you. You did not seem very aware of the fact in Hertfordshire.”
“As you say, we saw one another in Kent.”
“And?” Bingley leaned forward once again.
“Those big brown eyes might work on the ladies, but you will not charm me.”
“I should hope not!” Bingley chuckled and sat back. “By the by, men and women marry for reasons other than love and wealth. Mutual attraction comes to mind, and that you and Elizabeth have in spades.”
“I thought you said she did not like me?” Darcy could not help it. Every muscle in his body snapped to attention with the intimation that Elizabeth was attracted to him.
“She might not have liked you, but she could not keep her eyes from you either. She always commanded your notice and put herself forward to garner it. Of course, Caroline called it much more vulgar things. Elizabeth is no green miss. She had to know what she was doing.”
“What are you saying?” Darcy’s voice had a hard edge to it. If Bingley were saying he was duped by Elizabeth or that she was free with her favours, he would have a hard time not calling him out, friend or not.
Bingley raised his hands. “Only that she might not have understood her fascination, but she was fascinated all the same. That is quite a lot to build a marriage upon. I know of several couples who, after they have four or five children in the same number of years, come to realise they love each other.”
Darcy rolled his eyes. “I would suppose you might know even more couples who come to realise after a year or two of slaking their lust that they do not love each other.”
Bingley shrugged. “What is your plan, then? You must want her to love you.”
Darcy clenched his fists as his heart galloped at the thought. That was his dearest wish. “Our courtship begins in earnest when she arrives in London. However, I am not above pressing my advantage. I may be absent from Rosings, but I have arranged for my cousin to be a courier for various messages and gifts.”
“You are breaking propriety?”
“Not very much.” Darcy smirked. “I would never endanger her reputation. They are not gifts which would require an explanation to others and draw their suspicion.”
“Such as?”
Darcy eagerly told Bingley of the encounter he had arranged for Elizabeth the other day. When he finished, Bingley whistled. “I would be half in love with you after a letter like that.”
Bingley batted his eyes, and Darcy rolled his. “Spare me your antics. I am certain it will take far more effort to earn Elizabeth’s love.”
“What are your next plans for her?”
“Anne is to invite Elizabeth to Rosings whilst Mrs. Collins and her sister work in the parish. During their time together, they will visit my aunt’s bird conservatory. Select species will have messages attached to
their legs.”
“Messages?”
“Bits of poetry which remind me of her. I thought it would not be unusual for Anne to copy poetry.”
“What does your cousin get out of all of this?”
“Ah,” Darcy said, “I will suggest to her mother that she ought to come to London to visit Georgiana. Lady Catherine will agree, as she wishes to see me wed her daughter. Anne hopes to come and attempt to work her way into Richard’s heart.”
“I begin to see how you could deceive me about Jane.”
“Allow me to apologise again. I had no mean intentions. It was foolish and officious of me to interfere. Affairs of the heart are never a secure endeavour, and I ought to have trusted you knew what you were about.”
“I accept your unnecessary second apology. I know the intrusion was well-meant, and you only wished to care for me.” Bingley raised his brows. “Does Miss Elizabeth know about this?”
“Yes.” Darcy grunted and fell silent for a moment as memories of her righteous anger washed over him.
“Have you told her that you have made amends?”
“I would not want to boast.”
“It never stopped you before.” Bingley laughed.
Darcy scrunched his face up. Had he been boastful in the past? He never took pains to conceal his attributes. He was not as modest as Bingley, but was he boastful? “I apologise if that is so.”
“I am only teasing,” Bingley assured him. “You are proud, but you do not boast about yourself. If you did, then Elizabeth would already think better of you.”
They arrived at Darcy House, where they greeted Georgiana and enjoyed refreshments before Bingley left for the day. They would see each other again at the Gardiner residence in a few days, as they had both been invited to dine with them.
Georgiana followed Darcy to his study. “Is the Miss Bennet who is currently in London the same as the one who stayed at Netherfield last autumn?”
Courtship at Rosings Page 4