“Yes.” Darcy nodded as he sat behind the desk. “She is the eldest sister. The one who was ill, if you recall from my letters.”
“Oh, so she is not the sister who walked through the mud?”
“Did I include that detail?”
“You certainly did.”
“How interesting that you remember my correspondence better than I. What is your reason for forgetting to call on your aunt and uncle or practice your French?”
Georgiana huffed. “It is easy to forget an unenjoyable practice, but you seldom write to me about a young lady.”
“Why do you ask about Miss Bennet?” Darcy felt he was treading on dangerous ground. He did not wish to say more to his sister about Elizabeth at present.
“I feared Mr. Bingley and you fancied the same lady, and that was why you returned to London so suddenly, avoided him most of the winter, were listless and morose, and then stayed in Kent longer than originally planned.”
Darcy blinked at his sister. “How do you expect me to respond to such assumptions?”
“Oh, denial, of course.”
Shaking his head, Darcy motioned for his sister to sit on the opposite side of his desk. “I am not interested in Bingley’s lady.”
“But you are interested in a lady?” Her face lit with joy and then immediately fell.
“Does the thought pain you?” He had not taken into consideration that his sister might not like Elizabeth or any lady he courted.
“I suppose it would depend on the lady,” she answered neutrally.
“Are there any who specifically worry you?”
“Dozens, but our cousin and Miss Bingley are at the top of the list.”
“Why is that?” He hoped to put her off the subject of ladies he did fancy.
“They are all wrong for you.”
“I thought they were your friends.”
“They are.” Georgiana nodded. “However, Miss Bingley would be too domineering. She would care only for your wealth. The same would be said of countless other ladies, but I fear she has the greatest advantage due to your friendship with her brother.” Georgiana feigned absentmindedness and toyed with the fringe on her shawl. “On the other hand, I adore Anne…but she is not for you.”
Darcy smirked. “You mean I am not for her.”
She immediately stilled. “What do you know?”
“Anne is in love with Richard.”
“Do you have insights into his heart?”
Darcy shook his head. They never spoke on such things. With the way Richard had flirted with Elizabeth, he doubted Richard favoured Anne or ever would.
There was a knock on the door, and Darcy checked his watch. It must be Georgiana’s music instructor. His sister’s mouth fell open.
“Oh!” she cried. “You put me off the topic on purpose! Now, do not think I will forget. We have not had the last on this subject.”
The butler knocked and announced that Miss Darcy was requested in the music room to begin her lesson. Darcy breathed a sigh of relief when she had left. He did not think he could put her off forever, but he did not believe Elizabeth would want him discussing courtship plans with a stranger to her. Soon, he hoped, everything would be public. Soon.
Chapter Seven
Elizabeth smiled as she looked at the stream before her. Darcy had arranged another outing for her in the surroundings of Rosings. She laughed to herself. She really ought to have known better than to think he would wait until she arrived in London to court her. He was a man used to getting his every whim and pressing his advantage.
Over a week had passed since their last formal conversation. However, Darcy communicated with her daily. Elizabeth still refused to write to him directly, and she was far too private a person to give any secret messages to Anne. He would simply have to bear the burden of not knowing the change of her heart for a few more days. It was a pain of his own making, after all. Elizabeth shook her head, thinking of how she would tease him about it when they were reunited.
She had not wanted to fall in love with Mr. Darcy and certainly did not dream it would happen so fast. Once free of her false perceptions and seeing proof of his superior character and ardent love, it was all too easy to let her heart begin to hope. In truth, he was the sort of man she had always wished to someday marry. Mr. Darcy was intelligent, thoughtful, sensitive, loving, and well-respected. She even saw his flaws in a new light. His once hideous pride was now proof that he cared for his family legacy. His interference with Jane, although she had not entirely learned to justify or excuse him, was proof of his extreme loyalty.
“What surprise do you have for me today, Fitzwilliam?” Elizabeth had taken to calling Darcy by his Christian name when alone and speaking aloud as though he were present.
Shading her eyes from the morning’s rays, Elizabeth saw a glass bottle in the stream. She followed the rope around it to the low branch of a nearby tree and eagerly pulled forth her treasure. Popping the cork, she found a tightly rolled piece of paper in the now familiar hand of Mr. Darcy.
To My Beloved,
I count the days until I may see you again. I have waited my whole life to share the world with the woman I love at my side. I hope you will not keep me waiting long after we are reunited. However, I do not mean to rush you. I will wait patiently for you.
Elizabeth laughed and shook her head. No, he would not. He might not push her, but Darcy would not sit passively and idle either. Then again, she would not have wanted him to do so.
Did you attempt to count the stars last night as I requested in my most recent missive? They are as endless as my love for you, and your eyes shine even brighter than the celestial orbs. As long as I live, a night-time sky will remind me of your smiling face and enchanting eyes.
If you feel up to a dare, then skip rocks whilst you tell me of your favourite books. When I see you next, I want to hear all about it. See if you can best my childhood record of six skips or my cousin’s eight. Be sure to destroy this letter, as I would hate for there to be written proof that he was ever better than me at anything.
With my enduring love…
Elizabeth sighed at the finish. Darcy did not sign his name to these letters. He could not, lest they enter the wrong hands or she be found with them. He always reminded her of his enduring love in the closing. Not too long ago, she would have questioned whether any man were capable of such a feat. However, Jane’s letters glowed with joy in her reunion with Bingley. In the letter Elizabeth received yesterday, Jane revealed that Bingley had proposed, and she had accepted. Bingley’s love was not diminished at all in the months since seeing Jane at Hertfordshire. And according to Darcy, his passion for Elizabeth had only grown since leaving Netherfield. Surely he could manage a fortnight.
“I want to see you,” she murmured to herself. She scooped up ten pebbles ideal for skipping and told her imaginary companion all about her reading preferences. The sun was high in the sky when she determined she must leave her private sanctuary. She retired early that evening under the guise of fatigue from the morning, and she wrote her own missives which would be handed over to Darcy when they next met. He shared so much of his heart and his feelings that she felt it was only right to reciprocate.
Console Colonel Fitzwilliam as best you can when you tell him I broke his record and skipped ten rocks today.
I can hardly wait to see you and be courted in truth. I think I understand now what my heart always felt since first meeting you. It has taken me so long to see the truth. I used to think highly of my wit and intelligence, but how did I deceive myself so? What other reason could there be for my heart to beat more rapidly when your name is mentioned? Why did I always know when you were looking my way? Why do you provoke me so much?
It can only be love.
I love you, my darling Fitzwilliam.
As she would hand the letters to Darcy in person, she felt no need to omit names. Elizabeth sealed the letter with wax and placed a kiss on it. Soon, very soon, she hoped to replace the se
nsation with Darcy’s lips. The thought of his kisses and tender caresses made her feel lightheaded and giddy as she readied for bed. “Soon,” she whispered to herself.
******
“I can hardly believe Lady Catherine is sending us to London in her best carriage,” Maria Lucas said as she boarded the coach.
“Yes, Mother wanted us to ride in style,” Anne said with a knowing smile for her companions. “I am so thankful to have met you, Elizabeth, and you as well, Miss Lucas. I have been asking Mother to allow me to visit London without her for years.”
Anne and Elizabeth shared a glance. It had not all been quiet moments of concealed courtship in Elizabeth’s last fortnight in Kent. She had developed a friendship with Miss de Bourgh, and the two now called one another by their first names. In one of their arranged meetings, Elizabeth learned that Anne had long loved her cousin Richard. The relief Elizabeth felt at knowing Anne was not a rival for Darcy’s affections was the first clue that she felt more for the gentleman than she had previously thought.
“Where will we change horses?” Maria asked as she looked out a window at the passing countryside.
“Mother has arranged for us to stop at The Chaise and Four in Bromley.”
Elizabeth hid a secret smile. In one of her missives from Darcy, he had confessed to favouring a different inn at Bromley. He claimed it had the best Toad in the Hole he had ever eaten. Elizabeth had laughed for nearly five whole minutes at the image of the stern and arrogant Mr. Darcy she used to know enjoying a peasant’s meal. The information would thoroughly scandalise his aunt and Miss Bingley! If all went well, she could sample the fare next year on her trip to Rosings. She and Anne would be real cousins by then.
“I am surprised you are not sadder to leave Kent, Eliza,” Maria observed.
“I shall surely miss Charlotte, and there are many beautiful surroundings, but I immensely look forward to London.” Elizabeth could barely contain her glee. She would arrive too late in the day to see Darcy tonight, but tomorrow he would call at Gracechurch Street.
“I had thought you would miss the long walks you had at Rosings. I noticed you were gone for long periods every morning and seemed happier than I am used to seeing you at Longbourn.”
“Perhaps it is the novelty of a holiday which created such enjoyment,” Anne said, quickly rescuing Elizabeth.
“Indeed.” Elizabeth nodded. “I think you must be correct. In any case, I have dearly missed my sisters, especially Jane. I am most eager to arrive at the Gardiners’ house.”
“Your aunt and uncle are very kind to host me for the few days we will be in London.” Maria beamed at Elizabeth. She was part of a large family and had seldom stayed in town.
“They are most happy to do so,” Elizabeth assured her friend’s sister.
The conversation soon turned to other matters, with Mrs. Jenkinson, Anne’s companion, adding commentary now and then. Elizabeth’s mind wandered. A thousand anxieties and worries fluttered in her mind. Had she built Darcy up too high in her head? Could his love remain true despite her flaws? During the winter, he had imagined her to be nearly perfect. Courting from a distance was quite a different matter than courting in person. Could he really tolerate her low connections? Would his family object too much to the match? Would his friends?
Finally, they reached Gracechurch Street. Anne declined to come in, as she was fatigued from the journey, but promised to call soon. Reunited with Jane, Elizabeth’s thoughts of Darcy momentarily fled. She was pleased to see her sister in excellent health and spirits. Her joy overflowed and was evident in her countenance and every look and gesture. They had just missed Mr. Bingley, who often arrived during breakfast and stayed through the morning.
The remainder of the day was full of time with the Gardiners and their children. At last, Elizabeth and Jane retired for the evening. As Maria stayed in a different chamber, the sisters were finally alone.
“Tell me, truly,” Elizabeth began as she took Jane’s hands in hers, “are you as happy as you look?”
“Oh, Lizzy!” Jane cried. “I could not have imagined such happiness. I am beyond blessed and only wish for all my family and friends to know the joy and good fortune that I have.”
“You deserve every wonderful thing, and no man less agreeable than Mr. Bingley would have been worthy of your hand. I can hardly wait to call him brother.”
“Speaking of brothers, I think I might call a certain young man one before too long.”
Elizabeth feigned shock. “What, is someone courting Mary or Kitty? Surely Lydia is far too young.”
“Do be serious,” Jane said with a smile which proclaimed she was not put out with Elizabeth’s tease. “I mean Mr. Darcy will marry you, of course.”
“Will he? That is quite news to me!”
Jane furrowed her brow. “I do not understand. Bingley said enough for me to understand that Darcy greatly admires you. He has visited Gracechurch Street several times since his return to London. I know you did not like him in Hertfordshire, but surely his visits here are proof enough of his good nature. It would be an excellent match. You are very well suited to one another.”
“You know that I have always wished for love,” Elizabeth murmured. She could not voice her feelings to Jane before she spoke to Darcy.
“Can you not learn to love him?”
She had learned to love him. However, she had previously hated him. How could she be certain her feelings would not change again? How could she be sure his would not alter? It was far too soon to speak of such things.
Jane interrupted Elizabeth’s thoughts. “I believe he is to call on us tomorrow. There will be time enough to see what may happen. Bingley is soon to return to Netherfield, and surely Darcy will visit as well. Once I marry, you can stay with me and often be thrown in his path.”
Elizabeth laughed. “Goodness! You sound like Miss Bingley — or Mama!”
“I hope I never sound like Caroline.” Jane made a face.
“Bravo! I did not think you could think ill of a person.”
“I know she only acted in the best interest of her brother, but she did not have to feign being my friend for so long or so well. I have forgiven her, but I will not forget it and be too eager to trust her again.”
Elizabeth twisted her hands. If Bingley had implicated his sister in their separation, had he said anything of Darcy’s role? Could Jane forgive him? “You did not fully explain in your letter how Mr. Bingley never knew you were in town.”
Jane sighed before explaining to Elizabeth that Caroline had intentionally kept the information from her brother. “I know Mr. Darcy also counselled against Bingley’s return to Netherfield. Bingley even confessed that Darcy knew I was in town and said nothing to his friend.”
Elizabeth sucked in a breath. “How do you feel about that?”
“Mr. Darcy has apologised to me, and I have forgiven him. I see quite a difference between his actions and Caroline’s. Bingley, too, bears some blame. However, none of us are perfect, and I should hope not to be judged only by my errors.”
Elizabeth applauded her sister for her good sense and loving heart, all the while realising how much wiser Jane was than she. The hour had grown late, and they elected to sleep.
The following morning, Elizabeth awoke before Jane. She could hardly contain her nerves at seeing Darcy again. One moment she looked forward to the encounter; the next she feared it. In the past, he had always relied on her to carry the conversation. Now, she felt too anxious to formulate two coherent sentences. She barely touched her breakfast, drawing concerned looks from her aunt.
Visiting hours came and went without Darcy. Bingley had arrived at his usual time and confirmed that when he had last seen Darcy, he had planned on calling that morning. He awkwardly guessed aloud that something dire must have occurred to keep him away. Elizabeth hardly knew what to think. Why had Darcy not come? If he were detained, he might have sent a note to Mrs. Gardiner or even have Anne write to Elizabeth.
A fe
eling of dread filled the pit of Elizabeth’s stomach. She had rejected his first, and perhaps only, proposal. She had declined the opportunity to write to him whilst she remained in Kent. All his notes to her were arranged before he had left. Had a fortnight in London made him forget about Elizabeth? She had thought at first that he only fancied himself in love due to the boredom of Rosings. He claimed to have loved her for many months — and yet he had not acted on that love. Perhaps he now avoided her to lessen his attachment.
Elizabeth’s heart whispered that he still loved her. However, her head doubted that a man as sensible and admirable as he would desire to marry a woman with such flawed thinking and who had previously spurned him.
She continued to wrestle with the thoughts all day and long into the night. As silent tears soaked into her pillow, she whispered, “Why did you not come, Fitzwilliam?”
Chapter Eight
The next morning, Anne called at Gracechurch Street. She brought Miss Darcy with her, but not Mr. Darcy. Although she had tried not to give clues about her feelings, Elizabeth knew her disappointment was evident in her features when the two ladies entered the Gardiners’ drawing room.
Miss Darcy was a delightful young lady. Mr. Wickham had called her proud, but Elizabeth quickly saw she was timid. Of course, it was not the first lie Mr. Wickham had told. Elizabeth cringed for ever believing him and knew it might have cost her Darcy’s esteem.
Once Mrs. Gardiner had Miss Darcy, Maria, and Jane sufficiently involved in a conversation, Anne turned her attention to Elizabeth. “Darcy was not at home when I arrived. It seems he hurriedly left the day before our arrival, but no one knows where. He called for his horse and hastily packed a few items for saddlebags. He offered no information about his direction and had only promised that he would return soon.”
Elizabeth chewed her bottom lip. It did not seem as though he intended to journey all the way to Pemberley. However, the fact that he left no note for her and intentionally missed her arrival confirmed her deepest fears. “He knew he would not be present for my arrival in London.”
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