So she was going to be married off to Elroad in exchange for monetary support. Considering that my little sister was the cutest thing in the whole wide world, at least she wouldn’t have any trouble convincing them to take her.
“Our country has a long-standing friendship with Elroad. We complement each other perfectly: Belzerg is militarily strong but doesn’t do much trade, while Elroad is vulnerable to attack but knows how to make a buck. I don’t care how cash-strapped they are. The fate of our nation and our world is riding on this visit. So please don’t cause any trouble.” Darkness stared me straight in the eyes.
“…All right. For the sake of this world and all humankind. I’m an adventurer; I’ve fought the Demon King’s forces. Even I know better than to put myself ahead of beating him. I know sometimes things can’t change, no matter how much you beg and plead. So don’t worry so much.” I smiled as reassuringly as I could.
Darkness didn’t look like she quite believed me.
“Hey, what’s with that face? You don’t think I mean it?”
“I’m just trying to believe I’m even hearing talk from you about helping the world and humankind… Well, whatever. When we get to Elroad’s castle town, we can start by taking a little break. We can’t show up at the castle the minute we get there anyway. We’ll rest up and then get down to business.”
Then she tried to smile comfortingly at me…
……Ahhh, I get it.
I remembered the conversation she’d had with Lain before we left, the one about drugging me so I would spend the whole time asleep.
There was a commotion behind us.
“Oh! Kazuma, Kazuma, look! There’s Elroad—you can see it!”
“Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Finally! Elroad, the land of my dreams, the country of casinos!”
Up in the front seat, Darkness and I traded highly questionable smiles with each other.
Chapter 3
A Punishment for This Outrageous Fiancé!
1
Other nations referred to this one as Elroad, the Casino Kingdom.
Arriving in the capital, we were flabbergasted by the crowds and the noise.
“Hey, Kazuma, Axel hardly gets this many people for a festival! Where have they all come from?”
We were traveling down a big, wide street, so our carriage was limited to the speed of the people around us. Aqua was eagerly observing those people from the driver’s bench, looking this way and that and snickering at everyone going by.
“Aqua,” I said, “this is supposed to be a secret trip, remember? So don’t go drawing attention to yourself. Don’t forget why we’re here.”
Aqua pretty much ignored my attempt to rein her in; she was more interested in the open-air establishments we were passing.
It wasn’t like I couldn’t sympathize. It was as crowded as Shibuya Scramble Crossing in Japan. And this world’s population was a lot smaller than Earth’s. So to have this many people in one place meant…
“This must be a disinformation plot, an attempt to make people think this capital is thriving. Look, you see that guy who just went around the corner? I guarantee he’ll go around the block and come straight back. They’re all plants. Everyone here has been hired to mill around.”
“I knew you were a sharp one, Kazuma. I thought something was strange, too. After all, if this was all real, it would make our home base in Axel look like a cow town.”
Darkness blushed slightly as she heard Aqua and me chatting with each other. “Both of you, stop your ridiculous jabbering and act grown-up. I couldn’t stand anyone thinking we were country bumpkins.”
Which was exactly how she was treating us, but what were you gonna do? The shops and stalls along the street were crammed with foods I had never seen before, the shopkeepers hawking their wares at the top of their lungs.
The lizard-drawn carriage pulled to a stop in front of a larger building along the same street. Someone must have made reservations for us in advance.
“All right, this is our inn,” Darkness said. “Everyone, go drop off your traveling stuff. Lady Iris’s meeting with the prince is scheduled for tomorrow. Today we can rest up and take in the sights.”
Someone from the inn came out and took the carriage off our hands.
We were mostly on cloud nine, but Iris shook her head. “I have to get ready for the conference tomorrow… And I have to admit, I’m a little bit nervous, meeting this prince for the first time. I’m going to rest here and try to prepare myself. You all have fun.” Then she grabbed her luggage.
“Lady Iris, were you not looking forward to this excursion? We’re your bodyguards; we can’t leave you alone at—”
“Y-you have to! Get some rest. We came all this way to the Casino Kingdom. I couldn’t relax if I knew you were stuck at the inn with me!”
Knowing how sensitive Iris was to the feelings of those around her, I knew she probably really would be driven to distraction by us staying with her.
“Come on, Darkness—you heard the lady. Let’s go stretch our wings.”
“Ugh… O-okay, fine…” She still didn’t sound completely convinced, but she nodded anyway, seeming a little overwhelmed by Iris, whose smile looked like it concealed a very powerful resolve.
We set down our bags in our rooms.
“Casino! Let’s hit the casino! Then, after we win big, we can use the money to take a food tour! I’ll bet you can get some really good wine around here!”
“No, let us go to the local equipment shop! I’m sure I will be able to find an exceptionally powerful staff suitable for myself!”
We went right back out into town.
“Hrm, I’m still not entirely comfortable leaving Lady Iris behind like this…”
Darkness was the only member of our party who wasn’t completely on board.
Iris seemed really stressed about this meeting she was supposed to have. Maybe she was doing a sort of simulation by herself rather than going out and playing. I was concerned that trying to be too considerate would backfire. I would bring her a nice souvenir instead.
But even so…
“You guys need to think things through. We came all this way, so let’s start with the famous tourist destinations. Even Crimson Magic Village had a few, so a place like this must—”
—have some cool stuff.
Is what I was about to say, but just then…
“Ooh? Lookit that lovely adventurer. Hey, you blond-haired beauty, how about you ditch the wimp and come hang out with some real men?”
“Yowza, what a bunch of hotties! I’m all about that blue-haired lady!”
“The chick with black hair and red eyes is doin’ it for me…”
We passed by a few guys being extra sleazy. They each looked a year or two older than me. They were wearing the sort of gaudy outfits guys wear when they’re clearly peacocking, and they were leering openly at us. They were all thin and gangly; they looked like rich cream puffs who had come to the city for a little fun.
As for my companions, whom the three guys had been catcalling…
“““…?”””
Each of them looked around in confusion for someone who fit the descriptions the guys had offered.
…Eventually, it seemed to dawn on them that they were the only ones there who fit the profiles.
“““…?!”””
My friends stood rooted to the spot. Darkness immediately reached behind her head and started playing with her hair, while Megumin began assiduously dusting off her robe.
Aqua spoke up. “You guys, did you just call us beautiful? Did you say we were gorgeous? Say it again!”
………
Nobody in Axel was crazy enough to try to chat up these women. I guess I should’ve probably complimented them on their appearance every once in a while. I was amazed that they were so amazed.
“Huh? …Er, we said you were real pretty, and…maybe you’d like to check out the town with us… You know…”
One of the guys spoke on beh
alf of his crew, all of whom seemed taken aback by Aqua’s reaction.
Aqua, Megumin, and Darkness immediately huddled together and started whispering. After a moment, Megumin stepped up as their representative.
“What the three of you are saying, then, is that for the privilege of going out with a staggering beauty like myself and these two other relatively beautiful women, you are prepared to sacrifice coin and life alike, yes? And so won’t we date you? That’s what you’re saying, is it not?”
“““We wouldn’t go that far,””” the three men said.
……!
That was when I had a thought.
Unfortunately…
This country ran on two things: commerce and casinos.
We were eager to see the sights, spread our wings a little.
So what if we joined forces with these three nutjobs?
Think, Kazuma Satou, think!
There was no way these girls wouldn’t cause some kind of trouble. And the blame, I was sure, would fall on me. But what if, when the trouble happened, I wasn’t there and these three guys were?
………
“Yo… Think we picked some weird ladies?”
“Yeah… Don’t you smell trouble? I know we came here for sightseeing, but I think we might be in over our heads.”
“Y-yeah, but even if they are a little weird, they’re so hot!”
As the guys held a whispered conference, Aqua and the others came over to me just as I was really getting into my idea. The stupid grins on the girls’ faces kind of annoyed me.
“Say, Kazuma, what do you think we should do? I don’t knooow, ooh… They called us beautiful. They said they want to go ouuuut with us. You’re probably used to being called a loser by now, Kazuma, considering the party you’re in. But I hope you understand how grateful you should be to have been able to team up with three breathtaking beauties. Otherwise, we might just drop you like a hot potato and go out with those other guys.”
“Please, be my guest.”
““““““Huh?””””””
The girls weren’t the only ones shocked by my reply. The three guys joined the chorus.
“…Ummm, hey, Kazuma? Did you just say…?” Aqua sounded a little anxious.
I knew these girls were all high-level adventurers. I didn’t think they would have any trouble with a few random dudes off the street. Besides, it wasn’t up to me to tell them who they could and couldn’t go out with.
Now completely convinced that my idea to foist off the girls on these guys was a good one, I answered, “I said, be my guest. What am I, your mom? I want the chance to have some fun, not spend all my time babysitting you. No harm in this kind of arrangement from time to time.”
“““Huh?!”””
That really set Aqua and the others back on their heels.
“…Hey, did you hear that guy say something about babysitting them?” one of the men whispered to his friends.
Megumin, starting to look a little desperate, said, “Hold on, Kazuma—this is too sudden! Are you sure about this? Letting me… Letting all of us go play with these boys? Aren’t you, you know, jealous, or envious, or—?”
“Not even a little bit.”
“You heard him! He said it!”
Megumin seemed really shocked about something, but look. I know we’d been a little bit sweet on each other lately, but it wasn’t like we were dating or anything. Though, I guess I wasn’t one to talk, given how much I had been going on about Iris recently.
Darkness patted the frozen Megumin on the shoulder. “Hold it, Megumin. We know this guy isn’t a straight shooter, right? Heh—he’s the classic tsundere type!” Then she grinned in my direction like she expected to get a rise out of me. “How about it, Kazuma? Think you can bring yourself to be honest at a moment like this? You’re waltzing around town with a bunch of girls so pretty, they get catcalled by random guys on the street. Want to walk arm in arm with me? Maybe I’ll trip and my ch-chest will bump into you…”
“Hard pass. I mean, you’re ripped. I’ll bet your chest is as hard as everything else on you.”
“Whaaat?!”
With Darkness standing there totally surprised, the boys started whispering again.
“Geez, what do you make of this guy? He kinda sucks, doesn’t he? And I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”
“Yeah, let’s back off. We came all the way here to enjoy some sightseeing. We wouldn’t want to get caught up in anything weird…”
“N-no kidding, no need to put your head in the lion’s… Er, so I guess we’re giving up…? Man, such hotties, though; total shame… Uh, hey! We just remembered, we’ve got some stuff to do…”
The guys tried to run away, but I grabbed them. “Didn’t you want to date my friends?”
One of them flinched and tried to push my hand away…
…but he couldn’t.
“Huh? Ah… Ow, ow-ow-ow…! Sorry! We were just kidding—we’re sorry for chatting up your girls! W-we didn’t mean any of that ‘loser’ stuff! We’ve gotta go now!”
I was an adventurer of a pretty fair level myself. My stats were good enough that I wasn’t going to lose a contest of strength to some random street-corner slobs.
“Aw, no, it’s fine, for real. My friends here really are good-looking, aren’t they? Believe me: I know.”
“Uh…huh…”
They looked at me as if they found me suspicious somehow, unable to hide their anxiety. I dropped my voice and whispered to them, “See that blond armored chick there? You oughta see her without the armor. Hoo-wee! Those hips!”
The guys swallowed audibly at that. I continued to press my point. “And the lady with blue hair, she loves her some wine. You wanna get in good with her, just say you’ll buy her a drink.”
The guys looked at one another.
“And the black-haired one… You know the type. Has a cat, loves cute things. Take her somewhere with some nice, cuddly animals; that’s my advice.”
The guys nodded.
“““Well, okay, if you insist…”””
I stepped away from the newly amenable guys and waved to Aqua and the others.
“Okay, kids, see you later. Have fun spreading your wings today. You can pay me back by not causing trouble for me, starting tomorrow. As for today, knock yourselves out.”
“““Huh?”””
That gave the three guys pause.
Aqua sized them up and said, “Are you ready? I don’t have much change on me, so this isn’t gonna be cheap. The lovely Aqua only drinks the finest alcohol.”
One of the three guys pounded himself on the chest. “D-don’t you worry! Money is one thing we’ve got. Our parents are upper-class, see? We’ll cover anything and everything you want to do here in town!”
Bam. There it was.
Now that I had heard, with my own ears, the one thing I really needed to hear, I said, “Awesome, have fun, everyone. I’m gonna go spread my wings someplace else. You guys, I’m trusting you. Don’t go running out on my friends and ducking your responsibilities, okay?”
Then I turned around…
“Y-you really never stop surprising me… Somehow I can’t abide the way you don’t seem to be faking but actually seem to mean what you’re saying… It’s a bluff, right? Is this all just a bluff? …You men there, I’m warning you. Don’t get any weird ideas about us. Otherwise you never know what the man known as the Devil of Axel Town might do to you.”
“““Huh?”””
I heard Darkness spouting rude nonsense behind me.
“She’s right. You see how casually he walks away from his vulnerable, beautiful friends. Surely you can surmise what kind of person he is. If you don’t shower us with hospitality, you’ll see later just how bad he can be. He may not look like much, but he’s broken into a heavily guarded noble household before and can snipe a person from a great distance. If you make an enemy of him, he’ll hunt you every moment of every day.”
“““!”””
Hey, stop that.
“Come on, you two; don’t be so mean! Kazuma isn’t that much of a devil. True, he did blow up that governor’s house and get charged with sedition, and he did cause enough trouble to get himself banned from the capital, but…”
C’mon, Aqua—try a little harder. I don’t think your argument is making sense to them!
“““………”””
Now the three guys had gone completely quiet as they turned tremblingly toward me…
“…You know, I think we’ve changed our minds. We’d rather not get inv— Aaahhh! He ran away?!”
One of the guys had been trying to say something.
“““He left! That guy actually went and left!”””
Aqua, Darkness, and Megumin were shouting something, but I didn’t quite hear them. I was too busy disappearing into the streets of Elroad!
2
This was the first foreign country I had visited since coming to this world, and the city was so big, it made me realize that every other place I had visited had been a small town.
And right there, in the middle of Elroad’s capital…
“I win again!”
“No waaaaaaaay!”
““““““““Oooooooooohhh!””””””””
I had jumped into a card game tournament and was cleaning up.
“Who the hell is this guy?”
“I’ve never seen him before, but someone has to know a guy this good!”
I could hear the audience murmuring, keeping a respectful distance from my hot streak and me.
“He comes on hard and fast… Doesn’t it kind of remind you of what they say about Dark Katrina?”
“You mean the legendary—?! Wait, I heard Dark Katrina is a woman…”
Dark Katrina? Who was that?
“Hold on—look at the way he uses his trap card. Remember Wily Claude?”
“You might be right. Claude’s the only one I know who’s so nasty with his trap cards…”
Gamble Scramble! Page 6