And now some Claude guy?
In this world, famous adventurers often acquired a second name. Maybe the same thing happened with famous card sharks. Back in my world, I had been called all sorts of names by the friends I played MMOs with. All-Luck Kazuma, Kill-Steal Kazuma… Okay, so none of them was a good name, but still.
…When I came out of my reverie, I found a woman standing before me.
“You’re my next victim? Ooh, haven’t seen you around before. Looks like you get a lot of good hands, but it takes more than luck to win at this game. Strategy conquers all. You might beat some intermediates with good draws, but it won’t help you against a twin-name like me.”
I refrained from asking whether her second name was an embarrassing one. Because for the first time in a long time, I was genuinely excited about a game.
“Your winning streak ends here,” the girl went on. “With me, Iron Wall Marineth.”
Iron Wall Marineth.
The girl, who was obviously older than I was, proclaimed the name without shame, then grinned and drew her cards—!
Everything in town had been new and interesting to me, but my wanderings eventually brought me to this building that occasionally shook with cheers, and I went in to have a look. I observed from the audience for a little while, but when I noticed the card game they were playing bore a lot of similarities to a very famous game I was pretty good at, I jumped right in.
I assumed this game was the work of one of the various Japanese people who had been sent to this world. Knowing it as well as I did (any gamer would have), I bought a standard pack of basic cards and then a premium pack full of sweet rares—the sort of thing that’s a fringe benefit of having a ton of money.
Then I built a deck so devilishly powerful, it had been banned in Japan.
“My turn! My turn again! And again and again and again, forever!!”
“He’s a monster! I’ve never seen such brutal combos!”
“There’s overkill, and then there’s overkill! Just stop already—the game is over!”
“Look, he made Iron Wall Marineth cry. Somebody stop him!”
The shouting from the audience gave me my first gamely satisfaction in a long time.
“Please end it already. I’m sorry for mouthing off to you.” My opponent, the young woman, was in tears; the game was over and she hadn’t been able to do a single thing.
“Good game. Let’s play again sometime.”
“Absolutely not. I can’t take any more of this.”
I reached out for the traditional post-game shake but felt my palm fill with the gentle weight of my winnings.
That’s right: This was Elroad, the Casino Kingdom. There wasn’t a game around without betting on it.
Fresh off my crushing victory over Marineth, I shouted to the audience:
“I’ll take on all challengers!”
A few hours passed. I had kept on winning for a while before leaving the building in high spirits, in search of my next destination. I didn’t have anywhere in mind; I was just enjoying exploring an unfamiliar town.
My bulging purse put me in a good mood, but that was when I realized my stomach was growling, so I ducked into a random place…
“Eeeek! Someone, come quick! There’s someone who looks like a mummy in the sand bath! Is there anyone here who can use healing magic?!”
I had lunch at a pasta place I found.
“Welcome, welcome, are you by yourself, sir? Have a seat at the counter, please!”
The waitress showed me to the counter and I ordered something at random. While I waited for my food, I took a look around the restaurant, and that was when I overheard some men one table over…
“Aw, man, I made soooo much money today! A toast to Elroad!”
“You got that right. The economy here’s so hot, you make money hand over fist no matter what you do. When I heard His Majesty the king was taking an extended trip to another country, I was worried. But that whelp of his sure knows how to run a country!”
“Yeah, and to think we spent all that time calling him Prince Stupid!”
Hmm…?
I’d been told this country was in dire financial straits, so what was this about a red-hot economy? And the “Prince Stupid” thing bothered me, too.
“Maybe, but I hear the good times are all thanks to the prime minister running the government. The idiot prince might have absolute political authority, but I’m told he’d rather play around than rule this place.”
“In that case, forget Elroad. A toast to our prime minister!”
“““Yeah, to our great prime minister! Cheers!”””
…This was getting stranger and stranger. So it was the prime minister running the show around here? Did that mean he was the one who had cut off the support to Belzerg? And apparently, the king wasn’t even home right now. I was told the prince was about Iris’s age. Was it normal in this world for kids that young to take on major political responsibilities? Back when I was Iris’s age, I was busy being scolded by my parents for staying up all night playing games…
I put the shop behind me and then, thinking of Iris by herself at our inn, decided to buy her a souvenir. The only thing was, I had no idea what sort of gift would make her happy. I had an inkling that she would act pleased no matter what I got, but it just didn’t feel right to get the princess of your nation something too cheap…
“Hey, I heard this awesome entertainer is doing an appearance at Machelin!”
“Machelin? You mean the unbelievably fancy department store? Do they even let entertainers in there?”
“Who cares? Let’s check it out! I hear she uses all their expensive merchandise for her tricks!”
Such was the conversation a couple of guys were having as they emerged from a certain small store. I glanced at the sign and saw that the place sold accessories, so I went in to see if there might be anything suitable for a souvenir there.
“’ello,” the clerk said without much enthusiasm. He sat behind the counter reading the paper—never even looked up at me.
There was a lot of stuff in there, from handmade girls’ necklaces to big bracelets that were probably aimed at men. I glanced over at the counter and saw a glass case holding stuff that looked like it was a cut above the rest of the baubles in the store. Maybe there would be something good in there. I was just searching for something that would look nice on Iris when…
“Wh-whoa! Wh-what’s that, an earthquake?!” the clerk exclaimed, accompanied by an intense rattling of the entire establishment. I could hear the sound of an explosion far in the distance, and I felt that I didn’t have to think too hard about its origin.
Back when I had snuck into the castle, I had stolen Iris’s ring. I still had it, and treasured it for sure, but it would be a little awkward to return it now.
A new ring! That would be perfect!
It was a little ironic, considering I was the one who had stolen the first one, but I was uncomfortable just leaving the poor girl ringless. This would let me return the ring, in a way, even if it was a different one.
And so it was decided. I would get Iris a ring as a souvenir!
I went over to the glass case, hoping to buy the most expensive ring they had, but when I looked inside, I didn’t see a single ring.
“Hey, man, don’t you sell rings? Expensive ones, ideally?”
“Rings? We don’t handle anything that fancy. The only rings we have are the kids’ toys over there.” The clerk, who had jumped to his feet in surprise at the shaking, pointed to a corner of the store. All that was over there were cheap trinkets for a few hundred eris apiece. Maybe not the sort of thing you should be giving a princess.
Then again, I’d just gotten to this town and had no idea where to get fancy accessories, so what was a man to do?
Wait… That was it.
I would buy one of these, and if I didn’t find anything better, then I would give it to Iris.
“Gimme this ring, mister!”
I dropped my new purchase in my pouch and set out again…
3
“Ah, so you’re back. And how was your sightseeing?”
It was evening.
The setting was the same place we’d split up that morning.
When I got there, my friends were already waiting for me. Aqua was looking pointedly away from me, while Darkness was blushing contentedly. And as for Megumin, she was getting a piggyback ride from Darkness and looking rather gratified.
As for the three guys who were supposed to be the ladies’ escorts…
Well, one was missing. And of the two who were left, one was just sitting there, looking shell-shocked, while the other hugged his knees and shook and mumbled to himself like a textbook trauma patient.
I think I’d be better off not asking…
Megumin took one look at me and seemed to immediately know what I was feeling. “Kazuma, I doubt you want to know, but would you hear us out?”
“…Sure.”
I’ve got no choice…
I casually let my gaze slide over to Darkness, who seemed to be in a great mood.
“…Ahem. Let’s begin with the one who isn’t here. When he heard we had only just arrived, he suggested we start our day by going to a fancy spa to relieve the stress of travel.”
Oh-ho.
Darkness picked up the story: “Wouldn’t you know it, when we arrived, it turned out this spa had sand baths, and you know how much I love sand baths. They’re a wonderful form of relaxation where you put on an outfit called a yukata and lie back and they cover you with warm sand… But that man… I don’t know what he was thinking, but he was right behind me. Then he said, ‘All riiight, I’m gonna impress sweet li’l Darkness by showing her how long I can stay in this bath!’ And I couldn’t resist rising to the challenge…”
“Before we knew it,” Megumin said, “the young man had passed out. When the staff noticed, they rushed him to the hospital.”
…So that was one down.
Next, I looked at the shaking, muttering guy. Megumin glanced uncomfortably to one side. “…Er, about him. He said he would show us his special place. That place turned out to be a river some ways out of town… And, er, then he says, ‘Have a look. It’s a famous local tourist spot: the Duxion farm. Aren’t they cute?’ he says, and shows us a whole flock of Duxions. Well, you know how high in XP Duxions are. They were all bunched up! What could I possibly do but take them all out with an explosion? …It seems the shock was too much for him…”
He’d been eager to show them a whole flock of Duxions, just to see the lot of them blown to bits before his eyes. I shifted my gaze from the shaking guy to Aqua, who was trying to look as if she had nothing to do with any of this.
…She wasn’t doing a very convincing job.
“And, ahem, as for Aqua…” Megumin didn’t quite seem to want to say it.
At her words, the paralyzed guy suddenly jumped to his feet. “This lady drinks all the wine at the most expensive place in town, gets totally wasted, and then she goes, ‘I’ll show you all my amazing tricks!’ and starts doing party tricks using the nicest stuff in the store. And I mean, they were awesome tricks. Just killer. But there’s got to be a catch! I mean, if you put a handkerchief over a grand piano and make it disappear, it’s got to go somewhere, right?! A handkerchief can’t even cover a grand piano!”
So she’d been up to her old tricks again, literally and figuratively. They sounded really interesting, though. I would have to have her show me sometime.
“Then I got the bill for the piano and all the other stuff she used in her little show… And then the one for all the Duxions on the farm… I’ve been begging these people to pay for something, even half, but… Ahhh! No, wait, my parents are gonna kill me! Please… Just a third…!”
I put my fingers in my ears and started running in the other direction.
4
“How did you like Elroad? Were you able to spread your wings a bit?” Iris asked when we got back to the inn.
“I’ve started building my own legend in this town,” I said. “And incidentally, these girls are sort of legendary in their own special ways now.”
Iris gave me a quizzical look. I guess she didn’t get it, but a look at the faces of Darkness and the others told her she was better off not asking.
That same Darkness said, “Well then, Lady Iris, as I’m sure you’re much fatigued from all your preparations today, let me suggest you go to bed early so you’re ready for tomorrow. I’ve instructed the servants to bring your food to your room so you can just relax. Please have a pleasant rest and get your strength up.”
When had she gotten so polite?
“I think it’s still rather early… Er, not that I don’t agree that I have to be ready for tomorrow’s proceedings.” She still looked a little puzzled.
Darkness put on a somewhat theatrical expression of remorse and said, “Lady Iris, you have an immensely important meeting tomorrow. Today of all days, you must not stay up late. You’ll need as much rest as you can get so that you will be all the more radiant tomorrow.”
“…I see. Okay, I’ll go to bed early tonight.” She glanced at me but headed to her room.
Darkness immediately clapped her hands. “Excellent! Now, what say we all turn in as well? Big day tomorrow. I know it’s a little early, but bodyguards have to rest when they get the chance!”
It was a little strange, but we were tired enough from our trip that at Darkness’s urging, we retired to our rooms without giving it much thought…
I know what’s going on here.
This was that thing Darkness had been talking about with Lain: the plan to put me to sleep for a few days. I’d known Darkness long enough that I could see through this little plot of hers.
I went to my room all right, but I sure didn’t go to sleep. I was watching. Who knew what she would try to pull? Who knew how she would try to get me to drink her elixir?
The most direct route would be to kick down the door, overpower me, and try to force it down my throat. But there was always a chance I would fight back. I had thought she might try to spike my drink at dinner, but then we all went out to eat. If she was going to make her move, it had to be tonight, but what would it be…?
It happened as I was sitting there trying to read Darkness’s mind.
“Kazuma, are you awake?”
There she was, knocking at my door.
It was just past eight o’clock, and even for a world where people tended to go to bed and get up early, it was hardly time to be asleep.
“Sure I am. It’s not locked—come on in.”
Man, what did she take me for? Did she think I would just roll over and let her give me a sleeping potion? I didn’t know what she had in mind, but I would start by taking the initiative and teasing the crap out of—
…At that instant, everything that had been in my mind vanished.
“Oh, uh, okay. I’m coming in, then. I just want to talk a little.”
All because of the unbelievably revealing negligee Darkness was wearing.
Darkness came in and set an oversize bottle of alcohol down on the table in the middle of the room.
Looked like I was the one who’d underestimated my opponent. Now I realized: I was dealing with a noble, and they specialized in tricks and ploys. I couldn’t believe I had found myself in a honey trap.
“G-g-geez, why are you dressed like that? I can see your, y’know, figure.”
“?!”
My interjection sent a flush of embarrassment onto Darkness’s cheeks. Good. At least that meant she didn’t have it in her to really play the seduction game.
“Oh yeah? This is what I always wear, you know? Besides, people loosen up on the road. But more importantly, um, wanna have a drink?”
She popped the cork on the bottle, managing to keep a straight face despite my barb. There was a neat little pop! indicating that the bottle had been sealed until this moment. That meant this couldn’t be the spiked dri
nk.
“Fair enough. I guess it is pretty early for bed. I hear a nightcap is good for the health. Don’t mind if I do.” I took a glass, into which Darkness was about to pour some wine. “Whoa, danger, danger!”
I dropped the glass straight on the floor. It shattered audibly, the pieces scattering everywhere. Darkness paled, but I stuck my hand out toward the pieces. “Wind Breath!” My wind magic swept the glass into one corner of the room. “Phew, sorry, Darkness—my hand slipped… Aw, now there’s only one glass. I’ll get another one from downstairs. We can ask a maid to clean up the broken glass tomorrow.”
I made to leave the room…
“W-wait, Kazuma. Look, we, uh, we need just one glass, right? I only ever meant to pour for you. You work so hard all day, I wanted to take care of you for once!”
She had a grip on the hem of my shirt.
For a noble who should have specialized in tricks and plots, she sure was a terrible liar.
“Oh? And how exactly did you want to take care of me? Do I look that tired to you? Me, the guy who sleeps all day?”
“No, I—?! I mean… Uh, we just beat another general of the Demon King the other day! I know we’ve done that a lot, but it’s hard work, isn’t it?” Darkness was flustered, trying to come up with some kind of excuse, but she composed herself and looked seriously into my eyes. “I was just thinking, it’s all because you brought us together as our party leader. I know we do nothing but cause trouble for you, Kazuma, but I wanted to thank you…”
With that, she gave me a really genuine smile, with no hint of anything behind it. Ah, so that was how nobles operated. They mixed a little truth into their lies.
But I wasn’t that naive. I almost caved for a second there, but I’m a serious guy who’s careful to doubt everyone he meets.
I gently took Darkness’s hand—the one that wasn’t holding the bottle of wine.
“I should be thanking you. I’m a mere Adventurer, the weakest class. Without you guys, I couldn’t do anything at all. You especially, Darkness. If we didn’t have you, this party would’ve been destroyed a dozen times over. I’m the one who should be taking care of you. Here, hand me that bottle. Let me pour for you.”
Gamble Scramble! Page 7