Gamble Scramble!

by Natsume Akatsuki

  “My fault?! Yes, I see, this is all my doing—I’m so sorry! I will apologize, but I do not have to like it!”

  We hadn’t even gone into the mine yet. I didn’t know if this was good luck or bad.

  The ground-rattling titan that came crashing through the woods made me understand why they called this creature the king of dragons.

  I stopped trying to play it cool and just shouted:

  “It’s heeeerrrrre!”

  A Golden Dragon drew near.

  2

  Dragons.

  Hoarders of treasure and lovers of shiny things. Monsters whose defeat assured the slayer’s fame and fortune.

  And one of them had taken up residence in a gold mine, presumably drawn by the presence of, well, gold. Dragons were renowned for eating unusual things; maybe nibbling on the local minerals had given it this coloration.

  “We’ve hit the jackpot, Kazuma! This is a Golden Dragon, the most valuable of all dragon species! If you eat its meat, your level shoots up, and its blood is an ingredient in that rare elixir: the skill-up potion. Its fearsome horns and scales can be turned into valuable weapons and equipment! This thing is a walking loot chest!”

  Everyone was pretty freaked out by the sudden appearance of the dragon—everyone but Darkness, who hefted her great sword. “Lady Iris! I’ll distract the dragon; you use the opening to attack from a safe position! I’m not much for offense myself…!” At the same moment, she activated her Decoy skill. She looked so cool doing it that I wondered where the muscle-brain we were all accustomed to had gone.

  I wish she was always like this.

  “All right, Megumin, start chanting Explosion! I don’t want to vaporize a valuable monster if we can avoid it, but if Iris gets in too deep, then don’t hesitate! Aqua, buff Iris and Darkness with support spells! I’ll give you guys cover fire from a distance!”

  “V-v-v-very well…! Ind-d-deed, even such a beast as a d-d-d-dragon is no more than a common lizard before my…my explosion…!”

  “Hey, you negligent NEET! Don’t hide behind us, shooting arrows—get up there and make yourself useful!”

  The Golden Dragon, focusing its bloodshot eyes on Darkness, ran for the Crusader with a speed belying its size. Megumin, with no special talent for triumphing over adversity, trembled violently, while Aqua, despite her complaining, started casting defensive buffs.

  I wanted to do something helpful, I really did, but there was only so much I could offer against a dragon. My attacks would never punch through its scales; there was a good chance I would die if I so much as got close to it.

  “Have at me, Golden Dragon! Learn the power of House Dustiness, we who are known as the Shield Bearers!” Darkness, thoroughly buffed, didn’t give an inch to the oncoming dragon but stood there with her armor gleaming in the sun. It looked like something out of a fairy tale. Meanwhile, I noticed that Iris, who had received attack buffs from Aqua, was startlingly still.

  I glanced over at her to see that she had her sacred sword in hand; her eyes were closed and she wasn’t moving a muscle. I could see something crackling through the air around her, almost like electricity, and my wealth of anime and manga knowledge told me instantly what was happening.

  This was gonna be big.

  Iris was getting ready to use her biggest, baddest move.

  I knew how this went: You focused your entire spirit and your entire being into one devastating final attack that you used against your biggest enemy at your most desperate moment.

  “Karrrrooo, krrrrrooo…!” The dragon, wary, wasn’t making a move on Darkness. Dragons might be smart, but right now, that was the wrong choice.

  Iris finally opened her eyes. The magic that had been filling the air around her was focused into her sword, which shone far brighter than usual.

  But I noticed what was going on only after the dragon had spotted Iris and looked downright frightened.

  “Sacred Explode!!”

  Iris’s yell contained her entire spirit. The hillside was enveloped in a blinding light—!

  Elroad was practically bubbling with the news.

  “The dragon is dead! The princess of Belzerg slew it!”

  When we got back to town, we popped in at the Adventurers Guild to let them know we had taken care of the dragon.

  Dragons are basically big lumps of magical energy. Every inch of them, not just their horns, scales, and fangs but every little drop of their blood, is a valuable material. We let the Guild know about our successful expedition so they could go out and collect the pieces, and this commotion was what resulted.

  A dead dragon had to be worth a pretty penny. But we weren’t after the sort of sums they would pay out to individuals. We put the cheering “They’re heroes! They’re dragonslayers!” town behind us and headed for the castle.

  “We’ve already heard the news! Incredible! To think the Golden Dragon could be defeated…!” The guard who had looked so skeptically at Iris before now bowed enthusiastically and respectfully the moment he saw us. Talk about flip-flopping… But the recognition did feel pretty good. “I don’t suppose there’s any chance you could share with me a few words about what sort of battle it was…?”

  He was so cringey, so apologetic, I couldn’t resist a grin. “It was a one-hit kill.”

  Granted, it was Iris who had landed the hit.

  “One-hit?! O-one hit…?!”

  We left the guard standing there with his mouth agape and walked straight for the audience chamber.

  The Golden Dragon had been cut clean in half by Iris’s attack. When the light had faded, I saw that the dragon was dead, and I had no idea what she could have done to it. But then…

  “Iris, do not think this means you have triumphed against me! My Explosion could have defeated that dragon just as easily! It is only because we didn’t want to reduce the dragon to dust that I deliberately, de-lib-er-ate-ly, held myself back!”

  Megumin, who had not only been denied a golden opportunity but had been confronted with evidence of Iris’s immense power, was beside herself.

  “Yes, of course, Megumin, my friend. I understand, so please forgive me.”

  “I don’t believe I shall! What is this Sacred Explosion of yours, and how dare you give it a name that suggests it surpasses even Explosion? I shall not allow you to use it again!”

  “Um, the name is actually Sacred Explode, and I’ve heard it doesn’t have anything to do with Explosion…”

  “How can you say it has nothing to do with explosion magic when the name sounds like a cheap rip-off? Personally, I believe its immense destructive power is born from having such a similar name!”

  “Miss Megumin, I have had just about enough of you! Please don’t refer to my family’s cherished hereditary technique as a ‘cheap rip-off’! The name of the move has its roots in the name of this sword…!”

  The two of them were still arguing as we entered the audience chamber where the prince was waiting, looking different from all the other times we’d seen him…

  “Did you really do it?!” The prince was practically spitting, red in the face, when he heard the story of our battle.

  “Yes, Your Majesty. Here is the Golden Dragon’s horn for proof.” Iris showed him the dragon horn she’d been carrying with her, causing chatter among the assembled audience. This room hadn’t been very friendly at first; they’d seen us as nothing but a bunch of bumpkins. Maybe the dragon had been a real problem for them, or maybe being a dragonslayer simply made you that famous, but all of them turned warm, affectionate looks on Iris now.

  How about that? Pretty darn good, huh? That girl is my little sister.

  “A shining golden horn,” the prince mumbled, almost to himself. “There’s no question; this belonged to the dragon who lived in the gold mine…” The chattering picked up its pace.

  That was when it happened.

  “I ask you to wait.” The growing excitement in the room was suddenly dampened by the voice of the prime minister, who regarded us wi
th a cold stare. Ugh, he wasn’t planning to make things even harder, was he? “I would expect no less from a princess with the blood of the Hero in her veins. From a member of the clan that has inspired fear in the Demon King for generations… You there!”

  He signaled to a soldier, who was holding a big leather pouch.

  …I’m pretty sure that’s not the extra money they promised.

  We’d beaten enough generals of the Demon King that I had gotten a pretty good feel for how much money was inside a leather pouch of any given size. I could see this pouch contained the bounty for a major mark but not an entire payment of international support.

  “…What’s this?” Iris seemed to share my doubts, because she looked distinctly confused as she took the bag.

  “It’s your reward for the defeat of the dragon on this occasion. It includes a little extra on top of what we would normally pay an adventuring party to handle the quest. Take it and go.”

  “But—!”

  The prime minister’s words caused something of an uproar. This was supposed to be an away game, but a lot of the muttering sounded sympathetic to us.

  But there was another surprise in store.

  “W-wait, Lugkraft! I don’t think I can countenance this… L-look, I understand. I know all the trouble we’d invite by giving them further monetary support. But even so, to give dragonslaying heroes such a paltry sum…”

  I had been under the impression that the prince didn’t think much of Iris. But he was the one suddenly arguing on our behalf. For a little while now, he had been looking at Iris very much the way one would look at a hero. He may have been a prince, but I guess he was also still a boy. He idolized dragonslayers.

  But.

  “My prince, I’ve already explained to you numerous times. We should have cut off even payments in support of their defense, but failing that, it is certainly not in our nation’s interest to support an offensive on their part… Lady Iris, I do recognize your situation. But you must know that we have pressing circumstances of our own to deal with. I beg you to understand.”

  The prince looked downcast.

  …Pressing circumstances? I’d been so sure they were just being mean to Iris. What was he talking about?

  Unhappily, the prince raised his eyes to look at us—no, at Iris. “Ahem… I’m sorry. There are reasons we can’t give you any more funds. You heard the prime minister. Please forgive us.”

  Then he gave a deep and contrite bow of his head, his self-important attitude gone without a trace. Even I couldn’t say much to that, let alone Iris or Darkness.

  “Gosh…” Naturally, though, Iris was awfully upset. She unconsciously grabbed my arm with shock, standing vacant and motionless.

  The prince was understandably bothered by the sight. “Listen, er… That’s it—have you been to the casino yet? You’re all too serious for that sort of thing. I’ll bet you haven’t been to our country’s famous casinos, have you? You should check them out, cheer yourselves up!”

  That didn’t sound very encouraging…

  ………

  “Er, Your Majesty. If I may?”

  “Hrm? What is it? Your little sister and I have no further—”

  “No,” I said, knowing that I was speaking out of turn. “It’s about the casinos. I’d like to go big before I go home. Is there any way we could, you know, get a free pass to the biggest, bettingest casino around?”

  “…Your little sister is in the dumps, and that’s how you act? Are you insane? No, no, I was the one who suggested a change of scenery at the casino, so I suppose you can do what you want. A word of warning. Cheap tricks like the one you played on me won’t work there, all right? Our casinos aren’t so easily hoodwinked. They built this country. So I won’t try to stop you, but—”

  Before he could finish, I had to bow my head with exaggerated politeness—to hide the grin on my face.

  We were on the way home from the castle.

  “…I was useless. I felt like I did my best, but it was all for nothing… And after all the help you and everyone gave me, Elder Brother. After the promise I made to everyone at home…”

  Iris was walking at the tail of our party, sunk in a deep depression.

  Darkness, maybe hoping to cheer her up, was about to call out when— “Kazuma, Kazuma. Isn’t there something a big brother can do at a time like this? I cannot stand to see my minion in such low spirits.”

  Who exactly did she think I was? I wished there was some way I could immediately turn to me every time there was any kind of problem.

  Aqua, who clearly hadn’t followed everything that had happened, was walking at the head of the group, humming a short tune. I turned to my little sister, plodding behind us. “Yo, Iris.” She flinched and drew into herself at that. She clenched her fists and dropped her head, probably worried that I was about to yell at her because things had gone so poorly. But I said, “I think you killed it in there. I mean, you’re a dragonslayer now. That makes you a certified hero, and you can’t do much better than that. I won’t let anybody make a stink when you’ve got that sort of record.”

  Darkness gave a vigorous nod of agreement. “He’s absolutely right, Lady Iris! You did your very best! When we get back home, I, Lalatina, shall tell everyone how bravely you fought the—!”

  “So, Iris.” I cut off Darkness, plopping a hand on my little sister’s head.

  “You just leave the rest to your big brother.”

  Then I smiled at her…

  “Hey, Megumin, that’s the Pat-and-Smile. He’s trying to use the legendary skill that causes girls to fall in love with you instantly.”

  Okay, so I wasn’t not hoping for that. But I wished Aqua could read the room.

  3

  “Just leave the rest to your big brother.”

  That’s what I’d said to Iris, and I went on.

  “I have an idea,” I’d said.

  “Why, you, you… You looked so cool, you got my hopes up—and now this?!”

  The answer was blindingly simple: the casino.

  With my naturally high Luck, gambling was the perfect way to make money.

  Darkness wasn’t especially happy to learn that we were pinning everything on something you could hardly even call a plan, but she didn’t have any better ideas, so she had to go along with it.

  “Say what you like, Darkness. I think this has an excellent chance of working.”

  “You’re nuts! Going to the casino when you need to make money is the definition of a bad idea! I’m so sorry, Lady Iris; more fool me for having trusted this man…”

  Iris, though, shook her head at the frankly very rude Darkness. “No, Lalatina. I agree that this is a good idea.”

  “Y-you do, Lady Iris?!” Darkness was completely thrown by this unexpected answer. “I have to beg you to reconsider. We have the money from the dragon that you risked your life to get, along with the support you won from the prince. I grant it isn’t as much as we need, but compared to the impossible situation we were in when we first got here…!”

  Darkness was trying to get her to think rationally by emphasizing the success Iris had already had. The princess, however, took Darkness’s hand gently and said, “Lalatina. Lady Aqua, Arch-priest of the Axis Church, once told me: ‘If all seems lost, just give it a shot. If you screw up, you can always run away.’”

  “That is poor advice, Lady Iris! Don’t let yourself be contaminated by the Axis Church!”

  I took Darkness’s shoulder. “Don’t grow up to be hardheaded like this lady, Iris. Come on—here’s the casino. Casinos are fun.”

  “What do you mean ‘hardheaded,’ you lout?!”

  I ignored the still-enraged Darkness, took the bag of support money from Iris, and traded it for a boatload of chips from a clearly startled clerk.

  The first thing to do would be to shut Darkness up. It was going to be all right. I was a close personal friend of the actual goddess of Luck, after all.

  I sat down at the roulette table and
hefted about a third of my massive supply of chips into my hands. Everyone who saw me, including Darkness, goggled; only Iris watched with an expression of absolute seriousness. Hoping to reassure her and picturing my surprisingly combative Chief, who might be looking down on me at that very moment, I said, “Iris, let me reiterate: Contests are meant to be enjoyed. There’s a special phrase you’re supposed to say at times like this. I learned it from a friend with even better Luck than mine.”

  I put all my chips on red. Then, loudly enough that that surprisingly mischievous goddess in heaven could hear me—I needed only a little bit of help—I exclaimed:

  “Let’s give it a shot!”

  A massive crowd had gathered around me; every customer in the casino seemed to be watching the roulette table.

  “Ahhh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, a win! Another win! Good Lord, Kazuma, you have the best Luck I’ve ever seen! I would follow you my entire life, as long as we never left the casino!”

  “Hey, quit acting all satisfied over my victory. What if you jinx me?”

  I’d gotten a windfall.

  The roulette dealer was almost in tears, but I had no reason to stop now.

  “Hey, get me another coffee,” I said to Darkness, who had completely calmed down and now listened to everything I said.

  “S-sure thing—right away!”

  I had been having her focus on bringing me caffeine to keep me awake and alert. When I’d won my first bet, she’d let out a sigh of relief. When I’d gotten the second one, I could see her exhale and smile grimly.

  “Got it! I mean—here it is, sir! Here’s your coffee!”

  “Excellent.”

  The third time, she’d let out an audible “Wow.” And by the fourth and fifth times, she had been practically immobilized with amazement.

  “Er, excuse me, sir…” When I raked in my seventh and eighth piles of chips, the dealer looked at me with distinct respect.

  “Hmm? What’s up? If you tell me I can’t bet anymore, I won’t listen. You would never tell a customer who was losing big that you couldn’t accept any more bets from him, would you?” I pulled out a bucket of clattering chips and placed it on the table. “I think it’s time to start getting into some bigger bets. If I’m not mistaken, odds double if you bet on both the color and the number, right?”