The Revelation Space Collection

by Alastair Reynolds

  ‘Clown went away,’ Sky managed.

  ‘Clown?’ one of the others asked.

  His father turned to the man. ‘The nursery’s main educational program, that’s all. It would have been one of the first non-essential processes to be terminated.’

  ‘Make Clown come back,’ Sky said. ‘Please.’

  ‘Later,’ his father said. ‘Clown’s . . . taking a rest, that’s all. He’ll be back in no time at all. And you, my boy, probably want something to eat or drink, don’t you?’

  ‘Where’s mother?’

  ‘She’s . . .’ His father paused. ‘She can’t be here right now, Schuyler, but she sends her love.’

  He watched one of the other men touch his father’s arm. ‘He’ll be safer with the other kids, Titus, in the main crèche.’

  ‘He isn’t like one of the other kids,’ his father said.

  Now they were ushering him out, into the cold. The corridor beyond the nursery plunged into darkness in either direction, away from the little pool of light defined by the adults’ torches.

  ‘What happened?’ Sky said, realising for the first time that it was not just his own microcosm that had been upset; that whatever had happened had touched the world of the adults as well. He had never seen the ship like this before.

  ‘Something very, very bad,’ his father said.

  FIVE

  I came crashing out of the dream of Sky Haussmann and for a moment thought I was still inside another dream, one whose central feature was a terrifying sense of loss and dislocation.

  Then I realised it wasn’t a dream at all.

  I was wide awake, but it felt as if half my mind was still sound asleep: the part that held memory and identity and any comforting sense of how I had ended up where I now found myself; any threadlike connection to the past. What past? I expected to look back and at some point to encounter sharp details - a name; a hint of who I was - but it was like trying to focus on grey fog.

  Yet I could still name things; language was still there. I was lying on a hard bed under a thin brown knitted blanket. I felt alert and rested - and at the same time completely helpless. I looked around and nothing clicked; there was not the slightest tinge of familiarity on any level. I held my hand in front of my face, studying the ridge-lines of veins on the back of it, and it looked only slightly less strange.

  Yet I remembered the details of the dream well enough. It had been dazzlingly vivid; less the way a dream ought to be - incoherent, with shifting perspectives and haphazard logic - than a strictly linear slice of documentary. It was as if I had been there with Sky Haussmann; not seeing things from exactly his point of view, but following him like an obsessive phantom.

  Something made me turn my hand over.

  There was a neat rust-spot of dried blood in the middle of my palm, and when I examined the sheet beneath me, I saw more freckles of dried blood, where I must have been bleeding before I woke up.

  Something almost solidified in the fog; a memory almost assuming definition.

  I got out of the bed, naked, and looked around me. I was in a room with roughly shaped walls - not hewn from rock, but formed from something like dried clay, painted over with brilliant white stucco. There was a stool adjacent to the bed and a small cupboard, both made from a type of wood I didn’t recognise. There was no ornamentation anywhere except for a small brown vase set into an alcove in one wall.

  I stared at the vase in horror.

  There was something about it that filled me with terror; terror that I knew instantly to be irrational, but couldn’t do anything about. So maybe there is some neurological damage, I heard myself say - you’ve still got language, but there’s something deeply screwed up somewhere in your limbic system, or whatever part of the brain handles that old mammalian innovation called fear. But as I found the focus of my fear, I realised it wasn’t actually the vase at all.

  It was the alcove.

  There was something hiding in it: something terrible. And when I realised that, I snapped. My heart was racing. I had to get out of the room; had to get away from the thing that I knew made no sense, but which was still turning my blood to ice. There was an open doorway at one end of the room, leading ‘outside’ - wherever that was.

  I stumbled through it.

  My feet touched grass; I was standing on a patch of moist, neatly cut lawn surrounded on two sides by overgrowth and rock. The chalet where I’d woken was behind me, set into a rising slope, with the overgrowth threatening to lap over it. But the slope simply kept on rising; assuming an ever-steepening angle - reaching vertical and then curving over again in a dizzying verdant arc, so that the foliage resembled Chinese spinach glued to the sides of a bowl. It was difficult to judge distance, but the world’s ceiling must have been about a kilometre over my head. On the fourth side, the ground dropped away a little before resuming its climb on the opposite side of a toylike valley. It rose and rose and met the ground which climbed behind me.

  Beyond the overgrowth and rock on either side of me, I could just make out the distant ends of the world, blurred and blued by the haze of intervening air. At first glance, I seemed to be in a very long cylinder-shaped habitat, but that wasn’t the case: the sides met each other at either end, suggesting that the overall shape of the structure was that of a spindle: two cones placed back to back with my chalet somewhere near the point of maximum width.

  I racked my memory for knowledge of habitat design and came up with nothing except the nagging sense that there was something out of the ordinary about this place.

  There was a hot blue-white filament running the length of the habitat; some kind of enclosed plasma tube which must have been able to be dimmed and shaded to simulate sunset and darkness. The greenery was enlivened and counterpointed by small waterfalls and precipitous rockfaces, artfully arranged like details in a Japanese watercolour. On the far side of the world I saw tiered, ornamental gardens; a quilt of different cultivations like a matrix of pixels. Here and there, dotted like white pebbles, I saw other chalets and the occasional larger hamlet or dwelling. Stone roads meandered around the valley’s contours, linking chalets and communities. Those near the endpoints of the two cones were closer to the habitat’s spin axis and the illusion of gravity must have been weaker there. I wondered if the need for that had been a driving force in the habitat’s design.

  Just as I was beginning to seriously wonder where I was, something crept out of the undergrowth, picking its way into the clearing via an elaborate set of articulated metal legs. My hand shaped itself around a nonexistent gun, as if, on some muscular level, it had expected to find one.

  The machine came to a halt, ticking to itself. The spider legs supported a green ovoid body, featureless except for a single glowing blue snowflake motif.

  I stepped backwards.

  ‘Tanner Mirabel?’

  The voice came from the machine, but there was something about it which told me the voice didn’t belong to the robot. It sounded human and female, and not entirely sure of itself.

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘Oh dear. My Castellano isn’t all it could be . . .’ She had said the latter in Norte, but now she shifted to the language I’d spoken, sounding even more hesitant than before. ‘I hope you can understand me. I don’t get much practice in Castellano. I’m - um - hoping you recognise your name, Tanner. Tanner Mirabel, I should say. Um, Mister Mirabel, that is. Am I making any sense?’

  ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘But we can speak Norte if it makes it any easier on you. If you can put up with me being the rusty one.’

  ‘You speak both very well, Tanner. You don’t mind if I call you Tanner, do you?’

  ‘I’m afraid you could call me just about anything you liked.’

  ‘Ah. Then there is some amnesia, am I correct in assuming that?’

  ‘I’d say there’s more than a little, to be honest.’

  I heard a sigh. ‘Well, that’s what we’re here for. That is indeed what we’re here for. Not that we wish i
t upon our clients, of course . . . but if, God forgive, they happen to have it, they’ve really come to the very best place. Not, of course, that they had much choice, though . . . Oh dear, I’m rambling, aren’t I? I always do this. You must feel confused enough without me wittering on. You see we weren’t expecting that you’d wake quite so soon. That’s why there isn’t anyone to meet you, you see.’ There was another sigh, but this one was more businesslike; as if she was steeling herself to get to work. ‘Now then. You’re in no danger, Tanner, but it would be best if you stayed by the house for now, until someone arrives.’

  ‘Why. What’s wrong with me?’

  ‘Well, you’re completely naked, for a start.’

  I nodded. ‘And you’re not just a robot, are you? Well, I’m sorry. I don’t usually do this.’

  ‘There’s no need at all to apologise, Tanner. No need at all. It’s quite right and proper that you should be a little disorientated. You’ve been asleep for a great length of time, after all. Physically, you may have suffered no obvious ill effects . . . none at all that I can see, in fact . . .’ She paused, then seemed to snap out of whatever reverie she was in. ‘But mentally, well . . . it’s only to be expected, really. This kind of transient memory loss is really much commoner than they would have us believe.’

  ‘I’m glad you used the word “transient” there.’

  ‘Well, usually.’

  I smiled, wondered if that was an attempt at humour or just a crass statement of the statistics.

  ‘Who would “they” be, while we’re at it?’

  ‘Well, obviously, the people who brought you here. The Ultras.’

  I knelt down and fingered the grass, crushing a blade until it left green pulp on my thumb. I sniffed the residue. If this was a simulation, it was an extraordinarily detailed one. Even battle-planners would have been impressed.

  ‘Ultras?’

  ‘You came here on their ship, Tanner. You were frozen for the journey. Now you have thaw amnesia.’

  The phrase caused a fragment of my past to fall lopsidedly into place. Someone had spoken to me of thaw amnesia - either very recently or very long ago. It looked like both possibilities might be correct. The person had been the cyborg crewperson of a starship.

  I tried to remember what they had told me, but it was like groping through the same grey fog as before, except this time I did have the sense that there were things within the fog; jagged shards of memory: brittle, petrified trees, reaching out stiff branches to reconnect with the present. Sooner or later I was going to stumble into a major thicket.

  But for now all I remembered were reassurances; that I should have no qualms about whatever it was they were about to do to me; that thaw amnesia was a modern myth; very much rarer than I had been led to believe. Which must have been a slight distortion of the facts, at the very least. But then the truth - that shades of amnesia were almost normal - wouldn’t have been conducive to good business.

  ‘I don’t think I was expecting this,’ I said.

  ‘Funnily enough, almost no one ever does. The hard cases are the ones who don’t even remember ever dealing with Ultras. You’re not that badly off, are you?’

  ‘No,’ I admitted. ‘And that makes me feel a lot happier, you know.’

  ‘What does?’

  ‘Knowing that there’s always some poor bastard worse off than me.’

  ‘Hmm,’ she said, with a note of disapproval. ‘I’m not sure that’s quite the attitude one should be having, Tanner. On the other hand, I don’t think it’s going to be very long before you’re as right as rain. Not very long at all. Now, why don’t you return to the house? You’ll find some clothes there that will fit you. And it’s not that we’re prudish or anything here at the hospice, but you’ll catch your death like that.’

  ‘It wasn’t intentional, believe me.’

  I wondered what she’d make of my chances for a swift recovery if I told her that I’d had to run out of the house because I was terrified by an architectural feature.

  ‘No, of course it wasn’t,’ she said. ‘But do try the clothes on - and if they aren’t to your liking, we can always alter them. I’ll be along shortly to see how you’re doing.’

  ‘Thank you. Who are you, by the way?’

  ‘Me? Oh, no one in particular, I’m afraid. A very small cog in a blessedly large machine, one might say. Sister Amelia.’

  Then I hadn’t misheard her when she called the place a hospice.

  ‘And where exactly are we, Sister Amelia?’

  ‘Oh, that’s easy. You’re in Hospice Idlewild, under the care of the Holy Order of Ice Mendicants. What some people like to call Hotel Amnesia.’

  It still didn’t mean anything to me. I’d never heard of either Hotel Amnesia or the place’s more formal name - let alone the Holy Order of Ice Mendicants.

  I walked back into the chalet, the robot following me at a polite distance. I slowed as I approached the door back into the house. It was stupid, but though I’d been able to dismiss my fears almost as soon as I was outside, they now came back with almost the same force. I looked at the alcove. It seemed to me to be imbued with deep evil; as if there were something waiting coiled in there, observing me with malignant intent.

  ‘Just get dressed and get out of here,’ I said to myself, aloud and in Castellano. ‘When Amelia comes, tell her you need some kind of neurological once-over. She’ll understand. This sort of thing must happen all the time.’

  I inspected the clothes that were waiting for me in a cupboard. Nothing too fancy, and nothing at all that I recognised. They were simple and had a handmade feel to them: a black V-neck jersey and baggy, pocketless trousers, a pair of soft shoes; adequate for padding round the clearing, but not much else. The clothes fitted me perfectly, but even that made them feel wrong, as if it was not something I was used to.

  I rummaged deeper in the cupboard, hoping to find something more personal, but it was empty apart from the clothes. At a loss, I sat on the bed and stared sullenly at the textured stucco of the wall, until my gaze passed over the little alcove. After years of being frozen, my brain chemistry must have been struggling back towards some kind of equilibrium, and in the meantime I was getting a taste of what psychotic fear must feel like. I felt a strong temptation to just curl up and block the world from my senses. What kept me from losing it completely was the quiet knowledge that I had been in worse situations - confronted hazards that were just as terrifying as anything my psychotic mind could imprint on an empty alcove - and that I had survived. It hardly mattered that at the moment I couldn’t bring any specific incidents to mind. It was enough to know that they had happened, and that if I failed now, I would be betraying a buried part of me which remained fully sane, and perhaps remembered everything.

  I didn’t have long to wait before Amelia arrived.

  She was out of breath and flushed when she entered the house, as if she’d climbed quickly up from the bottom of the valley or cleft I’d seen after I’d awakened. But she was smiling, as if she had enjoyed the exertion for its own sake. She wore a black wimpled vestment, a chained snowflake hanging from her neck. Dusty boots poked out from beneath the hem of her vestment.

  ‘How are the clothes?’ she said, placing her hand atop the robot’s ovoid head. It might have been to steady herself, but it also looked like a show of affection towards the machine.

  ‘They fit me very well, thanks.’

  ‘You’re quite sure of that? It’s no trouble at all to change them, Tanner. You’d just have to whip them off, and well . . . we could have them altered in no time.’ She smiled.

  ‘They’re fine,’ I said, studying her face properly. She was very pale; much more so than anyone I had ever seen before. Her eyes almost lacked pigment; her eyebrows were so fine that they looked like they’d been brushed in by an expert calligrapher.

  ‘Oh, good,’ she said, as if not completely convinced. ‘Do you remember anything more?’

  ‘I seem to remember where I’ve come f
rom. Which is a start, I suppose.’

  ‘Just try not to force things. Duscha - Duscha’s our neural specialist - she said you’d soon begin to remember, but you shouldn’t worry if it takes a little while.’

  Amelia sat down on the end of the bed where I’d been asleep only a few minutes ago. I had turned the blanket over to hide the speckles of blood from my palm. For some reason I felt ashamed of what had happened and wanted to do my best to make sure Amelia didn’t see the wound in my palm.

  ‘I think it might take more than a little while, to be honest.’

  ‘But you do remember that Ultras brought you here. That’s more than a lot of them do, as I said. And you remember where you came from?’

  ‘Sky’s Edge, I think.’

  ‘Yes. The 61 Cygni-A system.’

  I nodded. ‘Except we always called our sun Swan. It’s a lot less of a mouthful.’

  ‘Yes; I’ve heard others say that as well. I really should remember these details, but we get people through from so many different places here. I’m all a muddle at times, honestly, trying to keep track of where’s where and what’s what.’

  ‘I’d agree with you, except I’m still not sure where we are. I won’t be sure until my memory comes back, but I’m not sure I’ve ever heard of the, whatever you said you were . . .’

  ‘Ice Mendicants.’

  ‘Well, it doesn’t ring any kind of a bell.’

  ‘That’s understandable. I don’t think the Order has any presence in the Sky’s Edge system. We exist only where there’s substantial traffic in and out of a given system.’

  I wanted to ask her which system this happened to be, but I assumed she’d get round to that detail in good time.

  ‘I think you’re going to have to tell me a little bit more, Amelia.’

  ‘I don’t mind. You’ll just have to excuse me if this comes out a bit like a prepared speech. I’m afraid you’re not the first one I’ve had to explain all this to - and you won’t be the last, either.’

  She told me that as an Order, the Mendicants were about a century and a half old - dating from the middle of the twenty-fourth century. That was around the time that interstellar flight broke out of the exclusive control of governments and superpowers and became almost commonplace. By then the Ultras were beginning to emerge as a separate human faction - not just flying ships, but living their entire lives aboard them, stretched out by the effects of time-dilation beyond anything that constituted a normal human lifespan. They continued to carry fare-paying passengers from system to system, but they were not above cutting corners in the quality of the service they offered. Sometimes they promised to take people somewhere and flew to another system entirely, stranding their passengers years of flight-time away from where they wanted to be. Sometimes their reefersleep technology was so old or poorly maintained that their passengers woke massively aged upon arrival, or with their minds completely erased.