The Rebel Cowboy's Baby--A Clean Romance
Page 5
Brooke knew how to do this. She’s done this before, she can do it again.
But the minute that thought cycled through his head, he heard his brother’s voice. You can always choose to do the right thing, Audy. It’s up to you. At some point, you’ve got to stop doing what you want and start doing what’s right. In the end, you’ll be glad you did.
Audy wasn’t convinced his brother had taken this sort of situation into consideration. He’d been talking about the drinking and mischief and the everyday bad choices Audy tended to make—not Audy stepping up to raise a child he had no business raising. Forrest would be the first one to agree he was a liability to Joy’s future—not a blessing.
There was one way to find out. He had texted Forrest to let him know they’d arrived in Houston, but he owed his brother a phone call anyway. He’d call, lay everything out there and get the confirmation he needed. I can’t do this. For reasons beyond understanding, he needed to hear Forrest say as much. And he would. When it came to listing off Audy’s shortcomings, Forrest never held back.
“Audy?” Forrest answered on the second ring. “Any news? What about the baby?”
Audy ran a hand over his face. “That’s what we’re working through.” All the words he wanted to say got stuck in his throat.
Forrest asked, “Kent didn’t have any family, did he?”
“No. Neither did Dara.” He stared overhead, watching an airplane track across the blue. “Luckily, Kent and Dara left a will—and designated guardians. I’m not so sure Kent was serious when he picked them, though.” Not that Kent or Dara ever expected this to happen when they signed the papers. “You know how Kent was... He loved a good joke.” The airplane was gone, so Audy started pacing the length of the small yard. “But, well, this isn’t a joke.”
There was a long pause. “Are these guardians having second thoughts?” Forrest asked.
Audy sighed. “You could say that.”
Another long pause. “I guess that’s understandable, considering. Raising a child is no small thing.”
Exactly. Audy kept on pacing. “Some people just aren’t cut out for that sort of thing.”
“I agree.” Forrest’s answer was quick.
Thank you. Audy knew it.
“But if Kent picked these people, he must have believed otherwise.” Forrest kept on, sounding confident. “He and Dara picking them is a testament to the faith they had in these people.”
What? How would you know? “What if Kent was wrong, Forrest?” Audy kept on pacing. “What if he made a mistake?” He looked up to find Brooke on the back porch, Joy in her arms.
“You’re really worried about this, aren’t you?” Forrest cleared his throat. “There are ways to challenge these things, in court. If you’re that worried about their daughter, maybe you should.”
“I’m worried, all right.” Audy saw no point in trying to cover up the truth of the conversation. She had to know what he was feeling. Surely?
Brooke’s hazel eyes searched his. With the slightest shake of her head, she carried Joy back inside.
He didn’t know what that look meant, but it didn’t help with his already twisted-up stomach or the mounting pressure in his chest. “I should go,” Audy said.
“If you need me to call Mr. Sandoval, let me know. He does family law stuff now and then. Maybe he could help? Or give you some advice?”
“Thanks, Forrest.” He shook his head. This had backfired—something terrible. His brother thought he was fighting to protect Joy from someone else. Would his brother do the same if he knew Audy was talking about himself? Or would his big brother be more disappointed in him than ever? He was pretty sure he knew the answer. “We’re staying put tonight but I’ll be home tomorrow.”
After he hung up, he gave up pacing and headed inside—braced and ready for what was sure to be an unpleasant conversation with Brooke.
Brooke sat on the couch with Joy in her lap, reading a book with the picture of a cow on the cover. She read through the whole book using her singsong baby voice. Joy clapped and patted the book and smiled up at Brooke.
Audy stood and stared, the dread mounting and pooling in his chest.
She smoothed a hand over Joy’s single shiny curl, in no hurry to speak. But when she did, it was clear she was struggling. “Audy Briscoe, I’m going to ask you this one time.” Her hazel eyes met his. “Are you planning on backing out on this? On me?” Her voice cracked. “On Kent and Dara? And Joy?”
Audy was frozen, struggling with the best way to answer her.
“Because if you are, we need to talk to Mr. Vincent about what that means, legally.” She smiled at Joy, who was holding the book. “I don’t give a lick about you or your doubts. All I care about is making sure Joy is safe and cared for. I can do that with or without you.”
“I know it.” He agreed. “I’m not cut out—”
“Don’t feed me excuses that ease your conscience.” She drew in a deep breath, her tone light but her words sharp. “Your word might not mean a thing, but mine does. I won’t dishonor Kent and Dara’s wishes or lose Joy because you’re a coward.”
It wasn’t the first time he’d had insults hurled at him, and it likely wouldn’t be the last. But that didn’t mean Brooke’s words didn’t hurt and kick up the embers of his temper. “If you’re trying to goad me—”
“Oh, Audy.” She shook her head, lifting Joy up and into her arms. “That’s the thing. This is bigger than you. Or you and me. This is even bigger than your ego.” She shook her head. “I guess that’s answer enough. In the morning, we’ll call Mr. Vincent so we can have everything squared away before we go home. Once that’s done, I think it’s best if you and I don’t speak for a while.”
She was giving him an out. Without saying a word directly to her, he was getting what he wanted. This was good. This would be better for them all. So why didn’t he feel better? Why did he feel more twisted up inside than ever?
CHAPTER FOUR
BROOKE STARED UP at the ceiling, a pale beam of light rolling across the dark surface before fading. Headlights from outside. The little gated neighborhood of townhomes and apartments was busy. Too busy. Lots of coming and going, car doors slamming, and the occasional thump of a radio base turned up so loud she was confident the person playing the music would suffer hearing issues in the long run.
She turned onto her side, the crossbar of the sleeper sofa pressing against her hip bone. No matter how she shifted or lay, it was there. Hard and rigid and inescapable—a physical representation of her current situation and reminder of just how out-of-whack everything was right now.
“Everything,” she murmured, her gaze sweeping over the assortment of photos along Kent’s home office desk and occupying the windowsill. Pictures of him and Dara, laughing. Wedding pictures. Pregnancy pictures. And Joy.
Joy from day one to now. The two of them had been so in love with their daughter—they were those obnoxious parents who seemed to think every tiny sound or expression or movement was worthy of sharing via text. Whenever a text from Dara rolled in, Brooke fully expected a picture or video of Joy. To make absolutely certain they didn’t miss a thing, Dara had a professional photo every month for Joy. She had a special Baby’s First Year frame, with twelve windows to show Joy’s growth over the first twelve months of her young life. But only ten of the slots were occupied. “Ten months old.” Something razor-sharp and cold rose up inside her chest, making it hard to breathe.
This is wrong. She wiped at the sudden tears leaving hot tracks down her cheeks. This is all wrong.
How was it only ten months ago that Brooke had taken a couple of days off to come help Dara with Joy once they’d been released from the hospital. She’d been entranced with the baby girl, but her adoration couldn’t compare with how in love Dara and Kent had been. To them, baby Joy was the sun and moon and...well, she had been everything to them.
On tiptoe, she crept past Joy’s nursery. Brooke didn’t want to wake the baby—she’d cried and fussed and called out, “Ma ma ma,” for almost an hour before she’d fallen asleep. That hour was torture for them all. Brooke was tempted to give in and cry along with Joy but she hadn’t. And Audy? He’d gone pale, locked his jaw and retreated downstairs after the first ten minutes. Definitely don’t want to wake her up. As silently as possible, she went down the stairs to the entryway. She headed back to the kitchen but paused in the living room. The television was on and Audy sat, his chin in his hand, watching what appeared to be a video recording.
Brooke lingered, the images on the screen holding her attention.
Audy and Kent. Cowboy hats and smiles. Audy was skinny—more boy than man. Kent was all ears and a prominent Adam’s apple.
“Didn’t mean to wake you.” Audy’s voice was deep and thick and so sudden it startled Brooke.
She shook her head, her hand pressed to her chest. “You didn’t.”
“Didn’t mean to scare you, either.” The corner of his mouth kicked up, but it was a half-hearted attempt at a smile.
Even from where she stood, Brooke could see the grief and loss on Audy’s face. It tugged at her heart and forced her into the room and onto the couch at his side. “No... I was just caught up.” She pointed at the screen.
“The good ol’ days.” Audy ran a hand along the back of his neck. “Team roping. Back when I was still all-around.” He nodded as a burst of action played out on-screen—so fast that if she’d blinked, she’d have missed it. “We were good. Good enough to go pro.” Audy was the header, Kent brought up the rear—working together like a finely oiled machine.
“Dara used to worry about that.” Brooke drew her legs up, curling into the corner of her end of the couch. “That she’d taken Kent’s dream away—that he’d resent her for it, someday.”
Audy scrubbed both hands over his face before taking a deep breath. “She was his dream. This was what he wanted. All that—” he nodded at the screen again “—Kent did that for me.”
Brooke glanced at the television then back at Audy. “He was a good friend.” She had to stop then, swallowing against the tightness closing her throat.
“The best.” Audy nodded. “You might not know this about me but I’m not all that easy to get along with.”
Brooke covered her mouth to stifle the laughter bubbling up and slipping out.
“Never mind.” He chuckled. “I forgot who I was talking to.”
For a second, their eyes met. Brooke couldn’t remember the last time she’d looked at Audy and felt anything other than frustration—or downright exasperation. But, right now, it didn’t matter that her feelings for Audy Briscoe usually resembled those she bore for a deep splinter she couldn’t remove. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t shake him or the constant irritation his presence caused. But the only thing she was feeling right now was understanding. They were both brokenhearted over the loss of people who held a special place in their hearts—and their lives.
“Kent put up with...well, a lot.” Audy shook his head, his gaze holding hers. “You know how I was in high school—”
“Was?” she interrupted. “That implies past tense.” But she smiled. “And, yes, I do know.”
His gaze sharpened, zeroing in on her with an intensity that seemed to thin the air in the room. “He never held it against me. All my tomfoolery, that’s what he and Uncle Felix called it. He took it in stride and said there was a reason I was always taking risks and acting out but until I figured out what that was, there was no changing it. Me, I mean. No changing me.”
There was a little voice in the back of her mind warning Brooke to keep her guard up. He was hurting, yes, but all this? What was he saying? Was he still trying to justify his decision to waive his co-guardianship? And using Kent’s words as the justification.
“He stood by me—sometimes when he probably shouldn’t have.” Audy’s smile was tight, a flash of raw grief twisting his handsome features. He cleared his throat then, sitting forward to prop his elbows on his knees and bury his head in his hands. “And, unlike my own brother, Kent got me—who I was—and he always believed in me.”
Like it or not, she couldn’t ignore his vulnerability. It was so...so unlike him. At least, it was unlike the Audy Briscoe she knew. “He loved you.” Brooke’s words were soft, offering up what comfort she could. It wasn’t enough, she knew that, but she wasn’t good at this sort of thing.
Audy nodded but stayed as he was.
Brooke didn’t push.
The television was muted but the vivid images of Audy and Kent, young and laughing and carefree, were inescapable. They were mesmerizing to watch. It felt like yesterday and a lifetime ago, all at once. As she watched, the images slowly chipped away at her self-control. Normally, she had to be the levelheaded one. Since she’d turned eighteen, she’d had a business to run, bills to pay, a mother to care for and a little sister who relied on her to be rock steady and predictable. She was responsible—the practical grown-up. Letting herself get caught up in memories and overrun with emotions was the opposite of practical. So, she didn’t. She kept a firm hold on her emotions, for Tess—and herself.
“There will be no calling the lawyer,” Audy murmured, his voice thick. “Kent never asked me for a thing while he was alive... I’m not going to turn my back on him or his wishes now that he’s gone.”
Brooke froze. She wanted to believe him. But...it was two in the morning, and they were both running on fumes, teetering on the verge of tears and processing the loss of their best friends. Now might not be the best time for him to make this decision—especially since he’d been looking for a way out only hours ago. “Audy...”
“I mean it.” He sat up, rolling his head slowly, but avoiding her gaze.
“Are you sure?” She cleared her throat, knowing this wouldn’t be an easy conversation. She’d heard him on the phone. He didn’t believe he could do this and if he didn’t believe it, why should she? But saying that would likely only get his back up and lead to an argument. I’m too tired for that. She paused, choosing her words with care. “It will be better for all of us if we get things settled now—before we head back to Garrison.” As much as she loved her hometown, she knew bringing home a baby would put her and Audy in the line of fire for every citizen of Garrison with advice or an opinion to offer. So, basically, the entire town was likely to sound off. Going home as Joy’s sole guardian versus this questionable joint guardianship would save both of them a whole heap of drama. Especially when he did change his mind—again. “You know how people are.”
He looked at her then, the muscle in his jaw clenching before he said, “I... Today’s been... It’s been just about the worst day ever, Brooke.” His eyes narrowed slightly. “I’d appreciate it if you’d give me a break on this one.”
Give him a break?
“I panicked.” He shrugged. “I... It won’t happen again.” He stood, running the back of his hand along his neck. “I made a commitment and, no matter what you think, I’m not breaking it.”
She took a deep, steadying breath. “Audy, don’t you think we should talk about this?”
“No.” Hands on hips, he faced her. Everything from the thrust of his chin and the angle of his head to the challenge in his posture screamed defiance.
“Fine.” She stood.
“Fine.”
Her sigh was pure exasperation. “Good.”
He nodded, those eyes of his pinned on her face. “Good.”
If he was hoping to get a rise out of her, he would be disappointed. He was being a stubborn fool, putting them both in a no-win situation, but if he was too pigheaded to see that, she wasn’t going to waste her time trying to explain it to him. “Great.” She shook her head. “I’m going to bed.”
“You do that.” He didn’t exactly snap, but there was a definite edge to his tone. An edge that sounded a little too condescending for her liking.
“Well, as long as I have your permission...” She shook her head and walked out of the room, back up the stairs and into the small home office. In the gloom, she eyed the horrible fold-out bed in dismay. She loved Dara with all her heart—Kent, too. But there was no way they had thought this out. How had they imagined this would work? That, out of nowhere, Audy would become a completely different man. And, suddenly, she and Audy would get along? What a joke.
But, when they’d written the will and she and Audy had signed the paperwork, none of them could have imagined they’d end up here. It was all so horrible and...unexpected. As unexpected as the full-body sob that rolled over her, beyond her control. She covered her mouth with her hands, smothering the sound of loss and pain and shock she could no longer fight. It dragged her under, floundering and struggling to find balance beneath the crushing realities of the day. Dara and Kent. Gone. There would be no more proud-mom texts detailing her daughter’s brilliance over things like burping and smiling and other firsts—with photos. There would be no more hours-long FaceTime chats that were of no importance but meant everything. No more of Dara’s mostly inedible “creative” meals and desserts that Kent always managed to choke down while Brooke watched in awe. No more of Dara’s laughter or Kent’s bad jokes or... Her heart seemed to give, torn wide, the pain sharp and unrelenting. She pressed her eyes shut and leaned against the door. This isn’t helping.