I slide out of bed as quietly as possible and throw on one of Damon’s shirts, grabbing a pair of his plaid flannel pants and sneak out of our bedroom, silently up the stairs until I reach the kitchen. The only thing on my mind is a nice glass of orange juice. I walk over to the cupboards, pulling out a glass and grab the OJ out of the fridge, pouring myself a nice hefty serving. Looking over to the oven, the clock reads a little past five thirty in the morning. I’m up way earlier than I should be, oh well. I simply shrug and walk to the front door, still trying to be quiet as I walk out onto the front porch and head straight towards the swing. It calms me in more ways than I can describe.
I stare out onto the vast landscape that my family owns and think about every part of my life that has led up to this point, all of the good memories, the pain and the misery. All in all, I’m so glad that I’m back home, and if I had to go through it all again to get back here – I think that I would.
I may not have said this long ago, but I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. With every experience, there is reasoning behind it. Reasoning that we might not understand in that given moment, but regardless, we go through it for a reason. It’s our duty to find out what that reason is. I think right now…I was supposed to go through all of that fucked up shit to land myself back here, with the people that I love and adore. It wasn’t easy, but life never is.
The front door swings open and out comes Kade, his hair is falling all over his face, a little too long if you ask me. He brings his hand over his forehead, raking his fingers back through his thick brown locks as he walks towards me and plops on the swing.
“Never took you as the early bird type,” he mutters, pulling out a zippo and a cigarette from his pocket. He lights it, taking the cigarette to his lips and inhales as he lights the other end.
“I’m not really, just couldn’t sleep,” I mutter, bringing the glass to my lips and sipping on the sweet, tart orange juice.
“You know, we haven’t really caught up since you’ve been back.” I look over to him at his careful word choice. Caught up, it is such an interesting phrase. There’s not much to catch up on, at least not in my opinion.
“I was prisoner to a sociopath for years. We don’t need to go through every gory detail of my time with the Demons. It’s not like it’s going to help me in any way, somehow make my life any easier. I’ll still have those fuckers in my head, regardless how much time has passed. Stuff like that doesn’t just go away. That’s what no one understands,” I murmur, thinking about what my Mom had said to me. She just doesn’t get it. Sure, she had her own experiences with Rage, a million years ago I might add. We did not go through the same things. She doesn’t get to act like she knows what I endured because we are not the same person. It’s not like I can just go to sleep one night and forget everything. I can’t do that. I wish I could, trust me.
“Why do you have to assume I want to talk about your damaged ass? I have my own shit going on.” I laugh at him, thankful that for once this isn’t about me. Sure, he might be humoring me, but something in the tone of his voice tells me that he isn’t. That he has something he wants to talk about.
“The floor is yours, cuz.”
“Dad’s been getting on me a lot lately, ‘bout finding a girl, ‘bout making one of these sweet-butts mine. The man doesn’t even think about asking if I have a girl. Doesn’t even think it’s an option I guess.”
“Do you?” I ask, already knowing the answer. Kade is so easy to read, he always has been, even when I was a little girl I could always tell when something was bothering him.
“Yeah, but it’s complicated.”
“Life is complicated, Kade. It’s always going to be.”
“She’s not someone who Dad would automatically approve of, you know? She’s probably the one woman he’d tell me is off limits, but I don’t give a fuck. I care about the girl, a lot. She’s not just some ass to me…she’s a fuck of a lot more than that.”
I look over at him, taking his stressed filled expression. “You need to stop caring about what your Dad thinks so much. You aren’t Zane. You aren’t the one who’s going to marry the Raider’s girl. I know that you want his support, we all want that from our parents, but stop holding yourself to the same caliber as Zane. You’ll be the VP when Uncle Fist decides to hand the gavel down to Zane. Kade, you have a choice on who you get to love. Zane doesn’t. Be grateful that you do, and if Uncle Fist doesn’t like your girl then oh well. We get one life, and you sure as hell better live it. Don’t do anything to appease other people. Do what matters to you, in here,” I tap on his chest and he smiles a full tooth grin at me.
“I missed you, Kit-Kat.”
I give him a half smile in return, wanting to avoid talking about missing anyone. I’ve done a good job at not letting it affect me, but the longer I’m home, the longer my feelings start to peek to the surface. “Are you going to tell me who this mystery woman is?”
“Not yet, but I’ll tell you her name is Ivy.”
Chapter 20
Not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path.
-YourPositiveOasis.com
Damon
The next week passed us by in the blink of an eye. I was doing everything that I could to avoid my father, but my luck ran out today. He’d been out and about doing business, what kind of business I’m unsure. I just didn’t really care to speak to him after our last discussion. He could disrespect me all he wanted, but not her. I wouldn’t allow it.
I’m sitting out on the porch, smoking a cigarette when Fist comes out of his house and stalks towards me. He takes a seat on the chair across from the swing and lights up his own. “Your father told me what happened. He’s always been one to use his mouth and not his brain.” That’s for damn sure, I think to myself.
“Maybe I got tired of listening to his shit after all these years.”
Fist nods. “I can understand that, but at the end of the day he’s your father and just cares. Don’t think he meant any harm in it, although I think we both know he caused a bit of it.”
“He’s given a shit ton of it over the years, and I’m done dealing with it. I’m not going back to the Brotherhood. I don’t know if he came here for you to give me some high and mighty advice or whatever but I’m not having it. I’ve made my decision and I’m not changing it. He made his. I made mine. If he can’t respect her, there’s no use in me being near him. She’s it. From the very first second, I laid my eyes on her, I knew that she was it for me, and he tells me to toss her aside like a piece of garbage? No. I’m not fuckin’ doin’ that shit.”
Fist smirks at me, almost like he understands. Maybe he does, but I really doubt it. “I’m not here to give you unsolicited advice. Quite the opposite, actually.” I peer over to him, wondering what it is he’s about to say. “You chose her, over your own family. I don’t take that lightly. Kathryn is my flesh and blood, my niece, and you chose to put your future with her over your obligation to your father, which makes you my family. I know you don’t want to be with the Brotherhood any more, but know you have the opportunity to be a Reaper. That’s why I’m here, to give you that option, and to see if you want it.”
I take what Fist is saying to heart. I never wanted to leave the Brotherhood, or the MC lifestyle. It’s all that I’ve ever known. I grew up in it. Being in an MC is what I know, it’s in my fuckin’ blood and no matter what I do, I can’t ever take that part out of me – club or not. When I threw my cut at my father I didn’t really think about what I’d do after the fact. All I cared about in that moment was telling him to go fuck himself. I know that after time, I’d miss the club life and the chance is, I’m probably staying here with Kat. I don’t see either of us moving somewhere else, not after she’s been away from her family for so long. I’d be here, but I wouldn’t be a Reaper and maybe at a point that would start to bug me. Being welcomed, but not fully accepted. But being a Reaper would mean I was.
“I want it as much
as I want Kat,” I tell Fist, who smirks for a moment before beginning to speak.
“Your father won’t take kindly to hearing about this.” His smirk is still dragged across his face.
“And you smile as you say that,” I point out.
“Cause your father is an asshole and I’m gonna enjoy this. I may be friends with your father but doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy fucking with him.” Fist laughs as he stands, but just as he begins to head towards the door I hear the loud buzzing tone of his cell phone going off. He grabs it, swipes against it with his finger and sighs. “Fuck, not again.”
“What is it?”
“We got another delivery to the gate,” he grumbles, “Last time it wasn’t a good one, and since the Bears emblem is plastered on the lid…am thinkin’ this means Grizzly decided to stir shit up again.”
I walk alongside Fist as we trek up to where the gates to the clubhouse are. I didn’t understand why there needed to be such high security measures being so far out in the country, but now I’m starting to understand even more. I knew the Reapers are the big dogs, I just didn’t fully realize that they were the top dogs.
Fist approaches the box, peering down at it. “Anyone have the balls to open this motherfucker up?” We all glance around to one another, ten of us stand in a circle before Zane speaks up.
“Yeah, and you’re not gonna like it, Pops.”
Fist opens the box, shaking his head from side to side as he pulls out what was inside. He reveals Tank’s head, who was one of the full patch members. I don’t know a lot about him, but I know he’s one respected fucker. Curses and threats are what follow amongst the brothers. I stand, watching as this shock unfolds before my eyes. Fist places his head back in the box and shuts the lid. “Don’t any of you breathe a word of this to Saffron or Sydney. If I hear anything slip outta your mouths I’m gonna take your fuckin’ tongue. Understood?” The lethality in his tone is damming, never have I once heard him speak this way, and I’ve been around Fist quite a bit over the years. I can imagine why he’s so aggressive right now. He has something going on with Saffron, and there’s no doubt in my mind that he loves her daughter as if she were his own. From what I can tell, Saffron and Tank were never an item, but she got pregnant. Being back here these last couple weeks have shown me Saffron belongs to Fist and that Tank wasn’t in the picture. Fuck, I didn’t think much more could go on considering everything going on with Rage…but here we are. It just goes to show you that you can’t be prepared for anything anymore. Expect the unexpected.
“Was there a fuckin’ note this time?” Fist snaps out, looking to the men around us.
No one makes a sound. Pure silence is the only thing we are greeted with.
“That’s it. Grizzly knows what this means and so do the lot of you. I’ve fuckin’ had it with him. I thought we had a damn agreement, but yet again, here we are.”
“What’s the plan, Dad?” Kade asks.
“We don’t just have one war on our hands at this point. We’ve got two, and it’s time we call in reinforcements. We deal with Rage, and then we handle Grizzly. I can’t handle threats coming at us from both sides, and especially not when those two could be workin’ together again. As we know, the past has a habit of repeating itself. You in, Damon?”
“No way in hell am I gonna stand by and watch this unfold. Rage is mine.” I hiss out.
“Not if I beat you to it. Quite a few of us have history with him. No one’s getting dibs. Whoever gets to Rage first kills him. Everyone hear that? I want him dead. Bastard doesn’t get to waste any more of our oxygen. He needs to fuckin’ rot in the ground.” I couldn’t agree any more myself.
“Alright, listen up. Damon is a Reaper now. We’ll go through all of our formal shit at a later date. We’ve got church at eight tonight. Be on time, or you’ll regret it.” Fist grumbles out to the group of us as he heads into the clubhouse.
I can’t say what the future holds, but I feel a storm brewing and it’s gonna be a nasty one.
Chapter 21
It’s okay to start over. It’s okay to rebuild. It’s okay to be scared.
-@NotSalmon
Kat
“Wait, what did you just say?” I ask Ashley, wondering if I really just heard what came out of her mouth. She can’t be right. I wouldn’t have been kept in the dark about it. Nope, no way. Damon would have come and told me first thing…wouldn’t he of? I shake my head, not quite sure what to think.
“What’s the matter?” She asks, full of concern.
“He didn’t say anything to me yesterday, at all.”
“Oh, well I wouldn’t think too much about it. Things were a little hectic around here to say the least.” I listen to Ashley, unable to help from glancing down at Noelle who sits in her lap. She has her hand in her mouth, sucking on it, making giant bubbles while her big doting dark eyes stare right at me. She looks like the perfect mixture of both Blackjack and Ashley, her pale complexion with those curly blonde locks that will be sure to give her father a run for his money when she’s old enough to date.
“You don’t want me to think about it,” I scoff, rolling my eyes. “He was out and about with everyone yesterday, crawled back into our bed and didn’t even have the decency to tell me that he’s patched into the Reapers. Instead, you’re telling me and before you even start to tell me how I need to chill out, Ash. He should have been the one to tell me, not you. I shouldn’t be the last to know about what’s going on with my boyfriend, or in our life.”
Ashley purses her lips together before she grins a full toothed smile.
“What?” I grumble out.
“You just called Damon your boyfriend.”
“Yeah, I guess I did.”
“Look, there was a lot of stuff that happened yesterday that isn’t being made public to the whole club yet. You notice how Saffron isn’t around?”
I nod at Ashley’s question, wondering where Saffron had been most of the day.
“She’s been up with my Dad at the house since she found out about Tank yesterday.” I make a face at her, trying to figure out what she means. “And since you’re looking at me like that, I’m guessing you don’t know what happened. There was a delivery to the front gates from Grizzly, the Bears Prez. Only, it wasn’t a present. It was a declaration of war, indicating that the Bears and Reapers are at each other’s throats yet again. Tank’s head was in the box, Kat.”
I’m sure it must look bad that I don’t even react to what Ashley’s just told me. Should it surprise me, though? Should it shock me, or shake me to my core? Maybe it should, but it doesn’t. Being with the Demons for so long taught me to expect the worst and be grateful when it didn’t happen. The horrors and atrocities I had seen and experienced during my time there will never amount to anything that happens here in Montana.
“How is it that you know everything?” I ask because I’m curious, because I want to understand why there is so much openness and communication flowing. It’s definitely something I’m not used to, but I’d prefer one person in particular to be communicating with me.
“Blackjack and I don’t keep things from one another. I know that Daddy doesn’t want me knowing everything, and while I understand his reasoning behind that, my husband understands what I need. Rob knows that I need him to tell me what’s going on, that I can’t be left wondering clueless, unsure of if I should be worrying or breathing easy.”
I nod, understanding where she’s coming from. It seems that everyone’s relationship is different, and I just wish Damon had told me instead of my cousin. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I’m not happy for him. The mere fact that Damon even patched over to become a Reaper means that he wants me, and while I know that he does…it’s different when the man becomes what you were born into. Becoming a Reaper is the most selfless thing he could have done for us – for our future.
I just wonder how far our future will go with not just one war on our hands, but two.
Chapter 22
One day
I’m just gonna say fuck it all and let my demons out to play.
-Anonymous
Damon
“If we leave, the Bears will view it as their golden opportunity to take the club. You and I both know that,” Kade interjects, causing his father to stop speaking.
“Either way, we’re fucked. The only way we can get out of this is if we call in favors,” Zane comments, causing the brothers to nod their heads around the room.
“We have allies, and it’s about damn time we used them.” Fist takes a seat at the head of the table, looking to each and every one of us. “We have the Raiders who have promised to help us whenever the situation would arise. The Sons of Gods are useful as well, and of course we have the Skulls, but I can’t attest as to if we can count on them. I’ll have to call each of their Prez’ and find out who can sacrifice some man power. I know we can count on Roman, though.” Fist looks over to me, “Personal feelings aside, Damon. You’ll have to work with your father.”
“It won’t be an issue,” I tell him instantly, because it won’t. I’ll do whatever is needed of me to make sure that the club is good, and most importantly, that Kat is safe.
“Glad to hear it, now let me make a few phone calls and figure out how the fuck we’re going to deal with Rage and Grizzly,” Fist grumbles, pulling out his phone. He’s tapping away when he looks up at the filled room, “That means church is over and to get your asses outta my hair.”
I follow command and make myself scarce, wanting nothing but to see Kat. All this shit between Rage and us, add in the extra drama from the Bears, and then my family bullshit…I just want to be on a beach somewhere with her in my arms. I walk out into the main area, seeing Widow drinking whiskey. Typical.
“You still sleeping with Amara?” I ask, not really wanting to know but wanting and needing are two totally different things.
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