Havoc- Reapers MC Boxset

by Elizabeth Knox

  “That’s enough,” I tell her, the tone of my voice heeding as her warning. I’ve told her certain things in confidence about my love for Widow. Now I’m regretting that choice, telling her the most vulnerable parts of my heart. It’s so hard to be trusting of people these days. Truthfully, I don’t know if I can ever trust another person.

  “Oh, Gia didn’t tell you yet. Did she?” “Tell me what, exactly?”

  “Nikolai asked to go out on another date with you. He wants to see you later tonight. She was worried about you cancelling on him, but with the look you’re giving me right now, I don’t think we need to be worried about that. I’ll see you at seven,”

  “What do you mean you’ll see me at seven?” I ask, following her with my eyes as she walks towards the door.

  “I’m supposed to show up for dessert.”

  Oh, fuck. I told Nikolai that if he ever got one of the girls to play with us not to pick Harlow … because she’s different than the rest, she’s my friend. It looks like he misunderstood me. Harlow isn’t that type of friend.

  Chapter 7

  SOMETIMES, THERE IS NO NEXT TIME. SOMETIMES, THERE ARE NO SECOND CHANCES. SOMETIMES, IT’S NOW OR NEVER. -KUSHANDWIZDOM

  Widow

  “I wasn’t a scared little girl who needed your help.” I’m standing out under the awning, smoking a cigarette in this miser-able fucking heat, as Amara speaks to me. I don’t bother reply-ing, because it’ll only cause an argument between the two of us. She thinks that she didn’t need my help, when the reality is that she’s always needed my help. Her needing someone to lean on, is what got us to this point anyway. Or has she forgotten that?

  I turn back to face her, trying my hardest to not let my anger seep out of me. I kept my opinion to myself for years, out of respect. I know how she is and she doesn’t like it when people give her their opinion without it being asked for. At this point, I don’t care anymore. What do I have to lose? “You may act like you’ve never needed a man to come and rescue you, but you’ve always wanted it. I’m not your man anymore, Amara. I’m not gonna keep comin’ to save your ass.”

  She huffs and rolls her eyes at me, crossing her arms. “You weren’t my boyfriend before you started doing that shit. That doesn’t matter anymore, though. We’re done. We’re … so fucking done.” She laughs out the last three words as her eyes drift to the ground. I know what she’s doing. She only does this when she’s hiding something.

  “What are you keeping from me?” I ask, knowing that if I don’t ask her the question, she won’t tell me.

  “Why do you always assume I’m keeping shit from you?” She snarls, eyes trained on me. I know her too well. Some-times, I think I know Amara even better than she knows herself.

  “Well, you hid the fact you were pregnant and went and got an abortion. If you hid that, you’re bound to be hiding other shit.” I can’t help but allow my anger to come through at full force. It might be wrong for me to speak to her in the manner that I am, but she enrages me beyond anything I’ve ever imagined.

  “Jesus. Leave it alone. It’s done and over with. Why keep bringing it up?”

  “Because what you did was wrong! Do you not see that? That kid wasn’t just yours, Amara. He or she was mine too and it deserved to live.”

  Her face contorts into something similar to disgust. “I would never willingly bring a child into a broken family. A child deserves much better than that, Widow. We both know what’s going to happen soon anyway. You would’ve only stayed because of the baby, and then … you would have left. I will not apologize for the decision I had to make. I gave you an out. You should be thanking me for making this so easy for you.” Her voice chokes up near the end and I hear her becoming emotional.

  It’s almost as if she knows something that I’ve only recently become aware of. But she can’t know … can she? “Did you know about Melody being here?”

  Her eyes meet mine yet again and with the somber look, she’s giving me, I have my answer. “How much do you know?” The way she asks the question gives me the impres-sion that I’m missing a big piece of the puzzle. Only, what else can I be missing?

  I stalk towards her. I’m not really sure why I do, but it feels like I need to be closer. As if being closer to her pres-ence will help me find out more answers. “What do you mean?”

  “I told you that you already had a family, Widow. What I said is true. You already have a family.”

  “Fuck, Amara! Stop speaking in riddles. Just tell me what you fucking know.”

  She runs her hand back through her hair and looks away from me, out over the desert before she speaks. “Melody doesn’t use that name anymore. Her name now is Rebel Rose. I know that she works for a company called Crave, LLC and she’s a very famous social media model. She’s just partnered with Crave for a new program called OneEye. Essentially, it’s where she has viewers pay to follow her and see … in depth material. But, that’s not, all I know.”

  “Stop getting quiet and continue,” I growl out.

  “Melody – I mean Rebel didn’t come here alone. She came with a baby. A baby girl named Zoe to be exact.” Amara goes into the details of this little girl's birthdate and I do the math in my head.

  Jesus Fucking Christ.

  What Amara said makes sense now. It makes complete sense. I already have a family, which means I already have a child. “You still never had the right to abort our baby.” I say to her in a low tone. I’m still so angry about what she’s done, but I know I’m in shock right now from what I’ve just discovered.

  “I know you would have left us. Please don’t tell me any different. We both know that she’s always been the one you’ve wanted. I would’ve had that child and you would’ve left. He or she would have asked me questions about why you didn’t want to be around us, why you didn’t love him or her. That is what I saved it from, constantly feeling like it isn’t enough. Of all people, I understand that. There’s one thing I will never do, Widow, and that’s allow a child to feel an ounce of what I do.”

  “You should have come to me when you found out.” I tell her, grinding my teeth together. I want to argue with her, tell her that I wouldn’t have been that man … but we both know better. If there’s anything I’m good at, it’s at being a shit person. I can’t imagine how difficult it would’ve been having two kids with two women who used to be best friends and probably despise one another.

  She shakes her head, “You know I couldn’t have.” Amara takes in a deep breath before she chastely kisses me on the lips. “I love you in more ways than you can ever imagine, but we were never supposed to be here. Our love wasn’t ever written in the stars, but Melody and yours was. You may not see it this way, but I love you so much that I pushed you away, straight back into her arms.”

  “Ama-” I try to speak, but she puts her hand up and I grow silent.

  “Don’t do that shit where you tell me our love was special. It wasn’t, it was sex that turned into something more when your one and only left. I want more for you. I don’t want either of us to just have sex. I want us to both be happy with whoever we’re supposed to be happy with.” I’ve never heard her speak in such a way, so heartfelt and carefree. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you she was here. I didn’t feel like it was my place, and you’d find out one way or another. Her face is all over billboards, and her fat ass.”

  “It has gotten fatter,” I chuckle, looking into the eyes of the woman that both trapped me and set me free.

  Chapter 8

  “YOU JUST HAVE TO WALK IN THE ROOM AND BE FEARLESS. NEVER LET PEOPLE THINK FOR A MINUTE THAT YOU COULDN’T TOTALLY TAKE THEM DOWN.”

  -STEVIE NICKS

  Rebel

  “Mom!”

  I flip around to face Zoe, “Yeah, kiddo?”

  She pouts her lips, “Do you really have to go? Olivia and Amber are coming over soon! We all wanted to watch the new dragon cartoon movie with you.” The fact that Zoe and her friends still want to be around me blows my mind. I’m not u
sed to it in the least bit. As a kid, I just wanted to be by myself – far away from the adults. Then again, I didn’t have the best foster parents growing up either.

  “I should be back in a couple of hours, okay? In the meantime, Frankie is going to stay with you three until I get back home.” I run my finger tips through her dirty blonde curls. Her lip starts to shake and I see she’s starting to cry.

  “Oh honey, what’s wrong?” I pull my baby into my arms and hold onto her tightly.

  “I don’t wanna be here all alone without you. Bubbles just died. I don’t wanna be without my Mommy.” I cock my head to the side and suck in my bottom lip, biting down hard on it.

  “Okay, let me see if I can get out of my work obligation. Alright? I’m not making any promises, but I’ll try.” Zoe’s frown turns upside down – literally. “Don’t you go thinking that I don’t have to leave. I have to see what I can do.”

  She starts down the hallway and turns her head back to face me, “You’re my mommy and you always get what you want!”

  Pfft, if the kid was only right.

  Nikolai gave me his number a while back and I told him I’d never text him because it was against my rules. He made me take his card just in case. I guess the cocky bastard knew I’d end up texting him at some point.

  To: Nikolai

  Any way can we reschedule tonight? My daughter has had a bad week and wants me to stay home with her.

  I stand in my kitchen staring at my phone for about five minutes before I think that I texted the wrong person, but then a text comes back through.

  From: Nikolai

  Of course we can. I’d hate for your daughter to be upset. Although, I paid to spend time with you. It never states what we have to be doing. What are you two doing tonight?

  I read his message a couple times over before I think about a response to it. For some reason, I want to stay on guard, but at the same time … I want to let him in a teeny bit as well.

  To: Nikolai

  I have a couple of her friends coming over for a sleepover. We’re going to order pizza, make popcorn and watch a movie.

  Not even a minute later and he’s already texted me back. From: Nikolai

  Sounds like a great date to me. I’d ask you where you live, but I already know. What time do you want pizza? I’ll pick up a few on my way, and maybe even a bottle of Stella Rosa if you’re nice about me coming over.

  My mouth gapes open as I stare at my phone. This man has brass balls, that’s for sure. “Why are you looking at your phone like that?” I didn’t even hear Zoe come back into the kitchen. She has the door open to the pantry and she’s pulling some gummy worms out of a bag.

  “Uh. A friend of mine wants to come over to watch the movie with us.”

  In pure Zoe style, she raises her eyebrows a few times. I already know what she’s going to ask. She is my kid after all. “What kind of friend? Like a … man friend?”

  “Yes, his name is Nikolai. He wants to bring the pizza.” “A man who brings food, let him come mom! Wait …

  how do you know a guy with a name like that?” We live in a part of Vegas where it isn’t extremely diverse. The demo-graphics are mainly white, black and Latino. I don’t think that she has any European or Russian classmates, so a name like this isn’t what she’s used to.

  I have to think before I respond, but I think my answer should suffice. “He’s a friend from work.” I chuckle inside my head, because I’m not lying to her. Zoe doesn’t know a lot about what I do, besides the fact that I’m kind of famous online. I don’t let her touch that stuff though. There are too many predators around. I won’t allow her to be online until she’s at least seventeen.

  I quickly type back before I change my mind.

  To: Nikolai

  Okay, we’ll see you at six. Bring something chocolate too, while you’re at it.

  Nikolai is always reminding me how he wants more than just our professional relationship. Part of me wants to explore things with him, while the other part of me is nothing but reserved. I’ve been burned too many times in the past by men and I just can’t fathom being hurt again. I barely survived when I was pregnant with Zoe. The hormones made the break up so much harder than it needed to be. I was barely sleeping, eating like a cow and crying myself to bed every night but I made it work. After all, I’m a survivor. It’s what we do.

  Olivia and Amber’s parents dropped them off about an hour later, and within twenty minutes, Nikolai had arrived as well. I don’t know how he got past the gate without them calling and verifying that he was allowed back, but he did. Then again, apparently he knew where I lived. Obviously, that’s true since he’s here, right before my eyes, giving the girls a choice of four different pizzas.

  “We have your average pepperoni, a margherita, bacon, chicken ranch and … the risqué … the one that can start a war, which happens to be my personal favorite,” He whips open the box and shows them a pineapple covered pizza. I can’t help but chuckle to myself as I shake my head.

  “Wow. That’s a lot of pizza, mister. Looks like you were trying to impress my mom.” Zoe blurts out, narrowing her eyes at Nikolai and then back over to me.

  “Oh no, little one. This is how I impress your mom,” Nikolai pulls out a bottle of Stella Rosa and a giant chocolate cake from the bag he set on the counter when he arrived. Yep, he’s impressed me.

  Zoe shrugs, “Alright, you’ve got some brains. I’ll give you that.” Amber and Olivia both giggle behind my hustler of a daughter, sizing up a big, bad Russian. She’s maybe a little less than half his size, if that. But here she is acting like she’s some notorious mob boss or something. “Are you trying to be my mom’s boyfriend or something?” At that, I approach her and tug her away from him. The two of us, plus Olivia and Amber each grab a slice of pizza.

  “Are you girls ready for your movie?” I ask as we walk into the basement. When I had the home built, I made sure to pay the additional price for the basement. I wanted a room where we could go to watch movies in the comfort of my own home, kind of like an in home movie theater. It’s nothing too special, just a decent sized room that is split on two levels. On one level sits a sectional couch and if we walk up five stairs there’s another sectional. The girls all run to the bottom one and I head towards the top, pulling my fluffy gray blanket over me in the process.

  Nikolai approaches with the wine and cake, taking a seat right beside me.

  Zoe turns her head back and stares right at him. “You seem like you were in the military or something. Were you?” I catch the small smirk that crosses Nikolai’s face and am careful to pay attention as he answers. “In a sense, I used to be, a very long time ago.” His accent comes out even thicker and I watch the way all the girls stare at him. These little diva’s are too inquisitive and definitely don’t know how these things are none of their business. “I used to be in something called the Spetsnaz, which is like the American special forces. I was in something a bit different, though.” His expression falls somber around the end of what he’s saying, almost as if there is a heavy weight around what he’s telling the girls.

  “That’s enough for now, get the movie on Zoe.” I instruct her, and within a few moments she has the movie pulled up. My eyes peer down to make sure they’re behaving and when they’re satisfied I settle back into my seat, with a bottle of wine being held out to me. I grab the bottle of wine and take a sip.

  “I never knew you were in the special forces,” I whisper to Nikolai, looking over to him at my right.

  “There are a lot of things you don’t know about me, Melody.” I’m taken aback at the usage of my first name. Never have I ever told Nikolai my legal name. I only ever referred to myself as Rebel with him. “Sometimes I wonder why you choose to go by Rebel on all fronts. You legally changed your name a couple years ago. Why is that?”

  I take in a deep breath, trying not to lash out at him. There are kids here, so I have no choice but to behave. He’s crossed a major line if I’ve ever seen one,
the huge privacy line. “Because Melody is dead now. Only Rebel Rose exists. Melody was a naïve, scared little girl. I’m not the same person as I was back then.” I hand the bottle of wine back to him.

  He nods, taking the bottle of wine from my grasp. “It’s funny how we change over the years. We run from our pasts, only for them to catch up with us one way or another. But when they do, no one knows how to handle us. For they’re not dealing with the same people anymore. Instead, they have a new monster.” As he takes a couple of sips, I register what he’s said in the last bit.

  “What do you mean, monster?”

  “When I was a young man, the only thing I wanted to do was to serve my country. Mother Russia was the only thing that mattered to me, and so I enlisted. My family had done the same, serving our country in whatever way we could. A few years after training the Spetsnaz brought me in. I just didn’t know how that would change my life. It started with them, and soon I became a prized hunter for Russia. I’d argue and say I’m the best at what I do, but I know it to be true.”

  “… And what is it that you do?” My question comes out quieter than I intend, but I feel the tenseness hiding behind his words. Whatever is Nikolai’s job can’t be a good one.

  “I’m a mercenary, Melody.”

  Chapter 9

  NO PRICE IS TOO LOW FOR A BEAR, OR TOO HIGH FOR A

  BULL.

  -PICTUREQUOTES.COM

  Widow

  “Hey man, what’s up?” I say into my receiver. Booger just called me outta the blue.

  A heavy sigh greets me, “Not much, brother. Just fuckin’ tired of staying in Iowa. Anything else going on with the Vibora’s? You cut the head off those snakes yet?”

  I wish I had better news to tell him, but I don’t. “No, man. Nothing has happened, but I’ve been dealing with my own shit. You know if something was up, I’d give you a call and let you know. How are you and Camila doing?” I ask him about the two of them in the hopes it’ll make his mood change a bit. The dude sounds defeated, like being away from the club is slowly sucking the life out of him.