Blossom in Winter

by Melanie Martins

  “Good morning, Petra. Have a seat.” He sounds cold and serious, but I obey and sit beside him. I stare curiously at Dad while he finishes reading the page, waiting patiently for his next words. “How has Columbia been?” Definitely not the question I was expecting. I find it awkward he won’t even look at me; his eyes remain glued to the paper. Is he hiding his pain? His rage? His disappointment? I can’t tell, but I reply like I know nothing. “Quite nice. Challenging but nice. I had to do a dissertation about the negative impact on governmental politics on the economy, and Mrs. Chilnisky actually liked it.”

  “Hmm, that would explain why you’ve been living in your college library,” he snaps, his eyes pinned on the WSJ. I don’t reply. I just look at him, still reading.

  I hear nothing but silence.

  I glance around the room, waiting impatiently for Dad to say something more.

  “Petra.” Ah! Finally. My eyes shift back to him. “Alex talked to me.” Oh God. I swallow hard again. I wonder why Dad won’t even look at me. Why is the WSJ more important? Is there news in there about him and his new acquisition?

  “I know. He told me he was going to.”

  Dad doesn’t even blink. I’m so not used to talking to him like that. But my father has his moments, and I can imagine he probably spent the entire night in shock.

  “Do you really love him, Petra?” he asks icily.

  I raise my eyebrows. After all, it’s the very first time we’re seriously discussing a boy—or in this case, a man. I sigh, thinking about the immensity of my love for Alex, but decide to keep it short. “Yes, I do.”

  He turns the page and continues to read. Nothing more comes out of his mouth.

  “Does it mean you intend to spend the rest of your life with him?”

  I feel my cheeks flushing. Does he really want to hear this? “Yes. I… I intend to.”

  All of a sudden, Dad closes his paper.

  His eyes finally meet mine. He doesn’t look okay, to say the least. “If I give you that week off for your birthday, do you promise to get focused on your exams afterward? I don’t want to be disappointed, Petra. You’ve always been the best student in your class. I hope it stays that way.”

  “Dad, I’ve been focused since my first day at Columbia, you know that. Missing six days of school won’t have any impact. My classmates will send me their class notes.”

  He stands up from the sofa, takes his coat, the WSJ folded under his arm, and exhales loudly. “Very well. I’ve got to go. Hope you have a great day.”

  And just like that, he leaves.

  No kiss, no hug, nothing. He’s still visibly mad at me. Maybe at Alex too. But nevertheless, I smile radiantly. Dad has just given me that week off!

  I take a deep breath and lean against the back of the sofa for a moment. Afterward, I happily get up, head back to my bedroom, and grab my iPhone to let Alex know about the good news. But he’s already texted. Good morning, Ms. Van Gatt. Hope you slept well. Meet me at the NoMad Bar at 5:30 p.m. I miss you! Wishing you a great day ahead, Alex.

  I smile while reading his text. Even the way he writes is formal and old-school.

  I decide to copy his tone. After all, no one texts me on WhatsApp like that. Hey! Good morning, Mr. Van Dieren. Many thanks for your note. Will be there on time. Wishing you a great day, Petra. Oh, I forgot the most important thing! P.S. I miss you too. I know he’ll like it.

  “Ms. Van Gatt, breakfast is served!”

  “Coming, Janine!”

  As I step into the NoMad Bar, I understand why he’s chosen this place. The bar is set in a nineteenth-century library with two floors connected by a spiral staircase. He’s already seated, reading, an espresso on the table, still wearing a suit and tie from the office. My heart always beats faster when he is around.

  “I’ve never been here before,” I say, sitting beside him, my eyes joyful and a smile on my lips.

  He closes his book, puts it on the table, and gives me an unexpected, lingering kiss. My cheeks flush as I feel his warm lips pressed against mine. He’s never kissed me in a public space before.

  “I love you,” he whispers, looking in my eyes.

  I smile and kiss him again. “I love you.”

  “We’re going somewhere for your birthday,” he declares simply, taking a sip of his coffee. “We’ll leave the evening of the fifth.”

  My heart explodes like fireworks. “Going where?”

  “It’s a surprise, Ms. Van Gatt.” He gives me a charming smile, his gaze devouring mine. “It’s outside the state of New York. That’s all you need to know.”

  I instantly picture that moment in Rio where he told me, Next time we’re in bed, I’ll cum inside you. Holy moly! I try to remain calm, but I start feeling myself get dangerously wet. I blush looking down at my lap, and tuck some hair behind my ear. Meanwhile, Alex keeps staring intently at my face with a sly smile. Jeez! I bet he knows what I’m thinking.

  My phone rings. It’s Emma. But I’m not sure if I can pick up the call right now.

  “Go ahead, Ms. Van Gatt.”

  “You’ve got to stop reading my mind.” He chuckles as I put my iPhone to my ear. “Hi, Ms. Hasenfratz. How are you doing?” I immediately glow, hearing her voice. Alex reaches down for my other hand, shuts his eyes, and starts placing wet kisses on my knuckles. “I’m so happy. Finally, you are coming back. Of course, I’ll meet you as soon as you land,” I reply, my eyes glued on his lips now rubbing against my fingers. I can feel his warm breath while he’s kissing them, and the pleasure he is having while doing so. I sigh loudly. This man drives me crazy. “You land tomorrow morning, right? Perfect, I’ll meet you at your house then. Indeed. So much to catch up on. See you tomorrow.”

  I hang up with a big grin, my eyes sparkling, and I instantly embrace him. “Emma is on her way back to New York.” I clap my hands. “I’m so happy! She kept her word. She promised me she’d come for my birthday.” I think something through. “What time do we leave New York?”

  “At ten p.m.” He seems to be studying me with his stare. “You may have a birthday dinner at her house, if you want.”

  How did he know what I had in mind?

  I stand up, floating on cloud nine. “I need to find a dress for my birthday, then.”

  “May I join you?”

  I gasp at his question and raise an eyebrow. “You want to join me at a vintage shop?”

  “Why not?”

  I smile radiantly. Is there anything about him not to like?

  I usually go with Janine or Emma to this vintage shop. But never in a thousand years did I expect to bring Alexander shopping with me. I love this store. Despite shopping not being my favorite thing in the world, this place is like traveling back in time—it feels much more special than those soulless, overpriced, high-end brands that Emma loves. Here, they have many different styles and shapes, but mainly my favorite: the fifties fit-and-flare. Surprisingly enough, Alex seems to be in his element, scanning attentively through the dresses, the shoes, the styles, and the lengths…

  “I didn’t know you liked shopping,” I tease, and unlike him, I can’t focus much on anything but him.

  “I have three sisters. Believe me, I spent half of my life giving fashion advice.”

  I giggle. Alex is so lucky to have siblings. I would’ve loved receiving advice from a brother or sister while growing up.

  “Try this one,” he declares, putting a dress in front of me.

  “This one? Really? It’s white.”

  “And? White should look good on you, with your blue eyes and black hair.”

  “Alex, white is only for brides.”

  “Of course not. You are so antiquated sometimes, Ms. Van Gatt. A lot of girls wear white nowadays.” He glances around for the seller. “Miss, my apologies. Could you kindly give me your thoughts on this dress?”

  The woman leaves the counter and comes over. “Hello. Sure.”

  “Do you think this white dress is only for brides?” he asks.

&nb
sp; The sales consultant chuckles. “No, of course not. This is a normal evening cocktail dress. Actually, it would look great on you, Miss.”

  “See? Just try it on.”

  I roll my eyes. “Fine…”

  I’d already made up my mind not to wear white for the dinner at Emma’s. But I’ll try it on for the sake of making him happy.

  I take the dress and go to the fitting room, while Alex takes a seat on the sofa in the middle of the shop.

  After a good ten minutes, I fling the curtain wide open, and observing myself in the big mirror, say, “It’s terrible! I look like a bride.”

  “Let me see.” Alex stands up, moves closer to me, and smiles radiantly. “You look amazing. A true angel.”

  I lift an eyebrow and take a second look in the mirror, trying to find the “amazingness” of it. The white lace fit-and-flare dress is knee-length, with a rounded neck, a white satin ribbon wrapped around my waist, and lace half sleeves. Okay, granted I don’t look that bad, but it’s definitely not suitable for my birthday. “Alex, forget it. I’m not gonna wear this for my dinner at Emma’s,” I snap, staring intently at him in the mirror.

  He chuckles, shaking his head, then wraps his arms around my waist, pinning his body against mine, and bends down to my ear. “This is not for your dinner, Ms Van Gatt.” My heartbeat starts pounding hard at the feel of his breath on my skin. “This is for us.” And my lips part in excitement picturing an “us” where he’d undress me and touch me like only he knows how. I’m speechless, eyes drawn to him in the mirror. “You won’t need anything underneath, just this dress.” Oh God. My heart fluttering at his words. I know why he wants white. This is meant to be worn before actually making love, before giving myself entirely to him. Holy shit.

  “It looks wonderful, Miss,” praises the seller. “Your friend was right to choose it for you.”

  I can’t stop laughing. “Thank you.” I wait for the seller to walk away, then turn to face him and wrap my arms around his neck. I smile brightly. “Alright, I’ll take it, then.” My eyes dart down to his lips and I kiss them instantly. Not sure if the seller is watching or not, but I couldn’t care less.

  He doesn’t hold back from me either. Instead, he grabs me by the jawline and gives me another kiss, longer, deeper, more passionate, the type of kiss that makes me want to rip his clothes off and have him right now in this shop.

  “Thank you,” he whispers.

  I wonder if he’s thanking me for the dress, the kiss, or both. He takes a deep breath to cool down and goes back through the store, eyes scanning the hanging clothes.

  “Do you need some more help?”

  “Indeed. We’ll need another dress—this time a colorful one for her birthday party.”

  “Sure, we have several styles. This one would look great on her.” The seller selects a black dress with embroidered pink roses. “I must say, it’s great to see men involved like this. I wish my husband would do the same, but he hates shopping.”

  Alex smiles. “Ah, well, I’m very picky about clothing.”

  Hudson Valley, November 30, 2019

  I know it’ll happen during my birthday trip. Dad agreed to give me a week off, and Alex told me we will go somewhere, “a surprise,” he added. My white dress is ready, with matching heels too. I’ve read as much as I can about everything in between. I’m totally shaved, and yet I feel as insecure as ever. He’s been with so many mature and amazing women, has probably tried everything and beyond, and I? Well, I’ve done absolutely nothing. I decide to seek advice from an expert in the field, or at least the most knowledgeable person I know.

  “I need your help, Emma…” She suspiciously raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say a word, waiting for me to finish my sentence. I take a deep breath and announce, “I’m gonna do it for my birthday.”

  “What? Really? With who?”

  I smile seeing Emma so worried, her mouth and eyes wide open like she’s just seen a ghost.

  “Well…” I clear my throat. “You know who…” I smile at her, my cheeks flushing, and she reads the answer in my gaze.

  “Oh my God,” shouts Emma, figuring out. “Finally, my babygirl will become a woman.” She takes a puff on her cigarette. “And you didn’t pick just any fella…” She laughs even harder. “You’ve chose the most wanted playboy in Manhattan.” And she continues guffawing. “Oh gosh, this is too funny. For sure, he must be a great teacher.”

  “Pfff. Stop it, Emma.” I giggle while pinching her. “I need your help, really. I’m feeling so anxious; I have no idea what to do. I read a lot about it online, I even watched some videos, but it seems way too technical…”

  “Relax, babygirl. Why on earth do you even care? This is not an exam. Or some business plan to pitch. He’s not gonna approve anything. Just enjoy.”

  “I know… But I don’t want to disappoint him. We’ll spend a whole week together. I don’t want him to get bored of me…”

  “Look, you won’t disappoint anyone, alright? Don’t feel shy, timid, or even guilty about anything you will do. I know you grew up with a super-strict father, but you have to remove any doubt from your mind. Take it as an amazing experience.” I nod, thoughtful. “And you can’t be that naive, right? You’ve already done some stuff, no?”

  “Like what?”

  “I don’t know… Have you ever touched a dick? With your hands or mouth?”

  “No…” I mumble, looking down.

  “Oh gosh. Not even that? Okay…” Emma ponders further. “You’ve at least seen one, right?” I shake my head. “Wow. Well, let’s get back to the basics. Have you ever tried to cum on your own with your fingers?”

  Oh yes, I’ve been thinking about him so many times. I nod. “But just outside.”

  Emma smiles, suppressing a laugh. Not sure if it’s because she expected a yes or a no. “Okay, look, the most important thing is to stay curious. Don’t put limits on your own desires. Explore him, you, and you’ll be just fine. Let all your senses get involved. Let him know what you want, and don’t keep things to yourself. If you want to be touched somewhere, tell him; if you want to try something new, let him know. Just enjoy, babygirl!” I smile. Emma has always known how to be reassuring. “And remember, he’s most likely done everything, so I doubt any of your requests will shock him,” she says, before taking another puff on her cigarette.

  “I see…” I nod pensively. “Emma, may I ask you something?”

  “Sure…”

  “How was your first time? You never told me.”

  “Well, you never asked me either.” She pauses, trying to put it in the best words possible. “It was alright. I was drunk and horny as fuck, so I don’t remember much. It was against a wall at a party. He didn’t know I’d never done it before. I’ve always looked so mature and confident. It all happened very fast.”

  “So you didn’t enjoy it?”

  “I was totally wasted. I didn’t even notice it was happening.” She chuckles. “Just after he was inside, I realized…” I feel so sad for her, and lay my hand on hers. “It’s alright, don’t worry, babygirl. I was fifteen or so… Long time ago.” I admire her strength. Emma has always been so strong and confident in any situation, even in her most vulnerable ones. “Anyway, we’re here to talk about your first time, not mine. I’m super happy for you. Remember, stay curious. And you will both love it.”

  Chapter 20

  Hudson Valley, December 1, 2019

  Emma Hasenfratz

  It’s snowing over the entire state of New York. I wake up this morning missing Bali and the tropical weather. I don’t like the cold. I miss my mornings by my private pool with the spectacular views to the jungle and rice fields, taking a bike and riding up to my favorite coffee shop, where I’d meet with nomadic young entrepreneurs from all over the world. It was absolute freedom in every sense. I got a sleeve tattoo entirely covering my right arm to my wrist, but since it’s been so cold here, my parents haven’t seen it. Fortunately! They’d probably cut my monthly allowanc
e in half if they’d found out.

  But I’m not in New York because of them, or because I’m missing home. No. I’m in New York because I’m missing terribly the only person I’ve ever cared for and loved—Petra. But Petra loves someone else. A man. A terrible one. A playboy. Damn, how can she possibly be in love with him? I can’t see how Petra, a young, sexually inexperienced woman can be a long-term possibility for him. Most likely Van Dieren is having the time of his life hanging out with such a young and innocent lady. My heart pounds hard, picturing both of them. What if he’s just manipulating her for the sake of taking her virginity? What if she’s his new favorite game, his new fantasy?

  I can’t figure out why Roy, such a protective father, would let his young daughter be in the hands of that man. Something is missing from the equation. Or is Roy also being manipulated? Deluded? After all, he knows Alexander better than anyone else. How did Roy let this happen? I’m so confused. Fuck. I wish I could have been around the last couple of months to figure out what the hell is going on between them.

  Well, no matter what, they have been very discreet. I checked the current tabloids and gossip blogs, but didn’t find anything about the duo. Not even a single picture! Nothing. Only a quick story that was written well back in October about Alex spotted with a Brazilian woman at Asiate restaurant and attending a pompous wedding in Rio. If reporters knew the most wanted bachelor in Manhattan was in a relationship with his young goddaughter, it would’ve been everywhere! But there’s very little about his romantic life since October. My critical analysis leads me to a conclusion: his relationship with Petra must’ve started then.

  Holy shit. What I have in hand is quite a secret! I feel tempted to share the story with Carol and Laura, but I can’t. Or even to share it anonymously with the press, but no. I care too much about Petra.

  I also have more important things to do with my time while here in New York. I’ve decided to throw an amazing party like in the good old days. Plus, Petra’s entrusted me with preparing a memorable dinner for her eighteenth birthday before the party, right here on my estate. Babygirl is not hard to please. Her only request is to start the dinner early, six p.m. at the latest, and invite just close friends. Simple enough. I wonder if Van Dieren will be attending…