Blossom in Winter

by Melanie Martins

  Petra Van Gatt

  I’m breathing slowly through my nose, hoping to control my gag reflex. It’s all about the breathing, I had read online before going to Aspen. I’ll show him how proud I am to be his and how, despite my age, I can be like his previous girlfriends. Fuck, I feel a growing pain in my jaw and throat—after all, my mouth is not used to receiving such a big and thick intruder—but I want to go beyond my own limits, so I try to take him as deep as possible. I manage to remain calm while he’s thrusting in and out. I hear him groaning, satisfied with the slurping sounds I make, drenching me even more. Damn, my heart is pounding so hard! I hope I can remain quiet and calm until I make him cum.

  Alexander Van Dieren

  I find her too comfortable. I wonder how she can manage to have her mouth stuffed so full and not be terrified. She also hasn’t gagged yet. I decide to force myself a bit farther. Fuck, she has to let go, give her entire control to me. As I’m lustily moving up and down, her eyes start watering. I can see her drooling, her breath getting louder, her pulse quickening, then I finally hear her gag for the first time. Oh God, I love to hear her gagging. Her reflexes are trying to expel me. I pull my cock away from the back of her throat. The view is breathtaking, and my heartbeat is just as loud and intense, if not more so, than hers. She is really here. Fuck. She’s really here on her knees sucking me deep. I’ve got to shut my eyes at the intensity of the pleasure. I’m so warm that my body starts sweating, and my mouth drops wide open to drag some precious air into my lungs. “Ahhh… Keep going…”

  And she does keep going, eating me so hungrily that the slurping sounds coming from her become too loud for me not to tremble. Damn, she’s driving me crazy. “Ahhh…” I can’t stop groaning at the feel of her warm lips and saliva on me. Shit, I’m the one who’s losing control. My mind is in such a state of euphoria that I can barely contain my imminent orgasm. “Fuck…” She’s gonna make me cum sooner than I wanted. “Oh Petra…” I give up. I’m so insanely possessed that with deep, loud moans, I let myself go and finish into her little mouth. She manages to suck my tip and drink me all. Jeez! She has well-earned it. I notice tears coursing down her face, and when I hear her swallow all I have to give, I can’t help but growl between panting breaths. As I remove my cock from her mouth, she instinctively coughs and splutters, taking quick, short gasps, her face wonderfully red, wet, and messy. “You are so beautiful. God,” I breathe, exhausted, kissing the top of her head repeatedly. “I’m so proud of you,” I whisper.

  I tuck my cock back inside my boxers, pull her up on my lap, nestle her head against my chest, and stroke her long hair.

  Petra Van Gatt

  I can still feel him in my mouth as sharply as if he were still inside. My heart is still racing, the back of my throat still hurting. Since it feels too hard to talk, I remain silent. A smile of pride and satisfaction lights up my face as I observe the flames dancing in the fireplace. He’s so wild—more than I ever thought. I should feel scared, ashamed, terrified of him, and yet, to my surprise, I feel a craving for more of the sensations that only his wildest side can provide. Wow. I realize how much pleasure being his gives me, to an extent I didn’t even know was possible. Is there something wrong with me? I let out a breath and close my eyes.

  Alexander Van Dieren

  Without Petra noticing, Maria, her face down and restrained, silently steps inside the room with a big glass of water and a painkiller served on a silver tray—I’m still impressed how fast she can read my texts and bring what I instruct. I take both, and Maria walks backwards, leaving without a sound.

  “Hey…” I whisper before placing a kiss on the top of Petra’s head. “Take this and drink some water.” She looks back at me, her face still wet with tears as she wonders for a second how this glass and white pill appeared, but it doesn’t matter. She puts it in her mouth and takes a long drink before I kiss her forehead. “Feeling better?”

  She smiles and nods. I know the back of her throat is still sore—talking might be too hard. The medicine needs some time to take effect. “In an hour or two, you’ll be fine,” I whisper in her ear.

  She snuggles herself comfortably against my body and shuts her eyes, resting there quietly.

  “Thank you,” she murmurs before falling asleep.

  I wonder what she is thanking me for. Is it the glass of water? Or because I fucked her little mouth rough and deep? I don’t know, but from the big, proud smile she had on her face, I’d say it’s the latter.

  Bedford Hills, December 22, 2019

  Petra Van Gatt

  I have never felt this kind of love before. Heck, I don’t even know if it’s healthy. And yet, I need more than what he’s given me so far. I want so much to move here, live with him, marry him, and bear his children, but I know all of these are just wild fantasies that have to be contained deep down in my heart. I’m “too young,” as everyone—especially him—would say at just the thought of these things. I let out a sigh. These are the fantasies that terrify me the most. I feel so embarrassed and ashamed to even think about them. But I know he’s the one, so why wait? After all, we’ve met all of the conditions required to move the relationship forward. I’ve tried to quiet my desires, but it seems so obvious, so why not? Why not talk to him about it? Why should we wait years to make our relationship official? Oh my... I swoon just at the idea I could be his wife. “Why don’t we get engaged?” I ask quietly, my face in the pillow.

  Alex remains focused on tracing a line of kisses down my naked back as we lie in bed, waiting for breakfast.

  “You just turned eighteen...” he replies as he reaches the small of my back. “Don’t feel pressure because I’m older. I can wait…” And he places another kiss there.

  “I know...” I sit up and look at him. “But I can’t. I love you so much, I… I…” Wow, I’ve never struggled so much to finish a sentence. “I really want to get married, Alexander,” I finally tell him.

  His lips part in astonishment, and I hear him swallow. “Have you thought about your father? What his reaction would be?”

  Oh, crap. Dad again. “What if Dad was okay with it?” I dare to ask.

  His eyes down, he ponders for a moment. I hear only my heartbeat pulsing hard in my chest. I’m not ready for his next excuse.

  Total silence arises in the room.

  Maybe I shouldn’t have talked about it… Damn it. Why did I have to open my big mouth again? Just kill me now. His silence is long and unbearable. I should just tell him to forget it.

  “Then I’d love to, yes.” I shut my eyes at his words. It can’t be true! He can’t have said that! Oh God, why feed my wildest dreams like that? He smiles at me with a twinkle in his eye, then suddenly lowers his gaze. What is he thinking?

  He finally makes eye contact again. “Having you as my wife, Ms. Van Gatt”—he lets out a sigh—“would be a dream come true.”

  I gasp at his revelation. Dear Lord, those are the most beautiful words I have ever heard. I feel my heartbeat fluttering hard and loud; simply the word “wife” coming from his mouth is enough to cause my entire body to shiver and light up.

  But all of a sudden, his face gets more rigid and serious, his stare worried. “But your father nearly had a heart attack when I told him about us, Petra. I don’t think he’s expecting to have another brutal shock that soon. After all, you just turned eighteen two weeks ago.”

  “I’ll talk to him first, then. He can’t get mad at his one and only daughter.”

  He chuckles. “Indeed, who can? Just don’t be too tough on your old man…” I laugh before he reaches up to meet my lips and kisses them tenderly. “I have something to show you.”

  I raise an eyebrow—he’s got that cheeky smile on his face. He gets up from the bed and goes to his dressing room. There I can see him open a drawer and take out a package wrapped in black with white satin ribbons. “I want you to wear this for your sleepover at my house in the Netherlands. Clarissa, one of the lady’s maids, will help you put it on. I can
’t show you what’s inside, since it’s for Christmas, but will you promise to wear it?”

  I smile radiantly, curious as a kid. I want to know what’s inside so much, but I decide to be patient and wait until Christmas to find out. “Very well. I promise.”

  Manhattan, December 23, 2019

  I decide to talk to Dad before leaving for Rotterdam. I find him in his library listening to Nina Simone on vinyl while reading a book. Any rational person would be intimidated to confront my father. After all, Dad’s known to have dirt on everyone—and ready to use it when needed. His mood is also hard to predict—sometimes cold and distant, other times friendly and caring. Dad makes sure he never reveals any fear, indecision, or vulnerability at a press conference, interview, or public appearance. But there’s one thing—and only one thing—that can intimidate Mr. Van Gatt, making him swallow hard and causing his heartbeat to race like a sprint...

  “Dad, can I ask you something?” The most terrifying question I can pose.

  He raises an eyebrow and turns off the music. Knowing all too well that I always start a painful conversation with this question, he already seems terrified.

  “Sure,” he replies, closing his book.

  I sit beside him, and with an innocent, childlike face, I ask, “Why did you get divorced from Mom? Was it because of me?”

  He was not expecting this. “Of course not. You are the best gift I could ever have wished for. I can’t thank God enough for having you in my life.”

  “So why did you guys get a divorce?”

  He searches deep down in his soul for a reply, probably wondering why I suddenly want to know this. But he’ll soon find out. “To be honest, my dear Petra, when I stood at the altar, I knew it was probably a mistake…” He pauses. “I didn’t know then what I know now… Don’t get me wrong, your mother was a wonderful lady…”

  “How did you know it was a mistake, then?”

  “I just felt it.”

  “So why did you go ahead anyway?”

  “I guess I didn’t want to disappoint anyone… Mainly her. But deep down in my chest, I felt I shouldn’t do it.”

  I nod. “So, you still believe getting married makes sense if you feel deep in your heart it’s the right thing to do?”

  “Of course I do. You know what they say: ‘the heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.’”

  “I see…” I pause, thinking something through. “Dad? Would you be very disappointed if I told you I would like to get engaged to Alexander?”

  He doesn’t seem surprised. After all, he probably knew this whole discussion had something to do with him. “Well, I knew this would happen sooner or later… I just hoped it would be on the ‘later’ side. You know, after graduation or so…” He pauses. “Does he know about your intentions?”

  “We talked about it, yes. This is something we both want. He’s just afraid of your reaction; he thinks you won’t be able to handle it after the talk you two had. But I’m sure you can.”

  “Indeed, that was the hardest talk we’ve ever had. He would’ve never risked our friendship for any woman in the world. I mean, except for you.” He ponders a few more moments, then takes a deep breath. “Are you really sure about this?”

  “Very much so,” I assert confidently.

  “Well, if you feel he’s the one, then my only duty as your father is to stand by your side and, when the day comes, walk you down the aisle.” I grin radiantly at his words. “Do you want me to talk to him?”

  I really have the best dad in the world. I jump into his arms, holding him tight. “That would be perfect. Thank you so much, Dad.”

  He gasps, feeling squeezed a bit too tightly. “Alright, don’t be late. You have a plane to Rotterdam to catch. Did you buy a present for your mother? It’s Christmas after all.”

  “I’ll buy it when I land.”

  But Dad seems to have everything already arranged, as he hands me a Tiffany gift bag. “Here. Take this. She’ll like it.”

  “Wow. You really think of everything.”

  “Well, my assistant does.”

  I hug him once more. “You’re the best dad in the world. Thank you.” And I kiss his cheek before leaving.

  Roy Van Gatt

  As Petra leaves my library, I sigh and smile at her kind words. I knew since that talk with Alex that their announcing an engagement was just a matter of time. After all, he wouldn’t have risked our friendship if it wasn’t serious. I would’ve preferred for them to get engaged after her graduation, but there’s no changing Petra’s mind. She’s as stubborn and determined as I am. When she has something in mind, nothing and no one can knock it loose. Strangely enough, though, it feels like everything was already written a long time ago. I smile happily nevertheless. After all, she’s getting engaged to my best friend, utmost confidant, and business partner, someone I trust entirely. I know he’ll take good care of her.

  “Janine!”

  “Yes, Mr. Van Gatt?”

  “Kindly prepare a special dinner for two, please.”

  “Sure, who is coming?”

  I smile, feeling playful. “My future son-in-law.”

  Alexander Van Dieren

  After serving supper, Janine has been asked to leave. Roy and I are now totally alone. We’ve spent most of our time laughing and toasting while indulging in a special reserve Château Pétrus to celebrate the occasion. But suddenly Roy becomes quieter, his gaze thoughtful as he looks steadily down at his plate, then back up again. “She doesn’t know about your past, right?” He sighs. “I don’t want my daughter to have anything to do with your… well… previous lifestyle.”

  Fuck, I didn’t see that coming. I take a sip of my wine and shake my head. “Of course not. I told you, my past is over.”

  “I hope so,” he replies instantly. “Otherwise, this might have serious implications for both of us. I don’t want her to have any trouble.”

  “I gave you my word, Roy. I’ll never put Petra in any such situation.”

  “I know, and you always do what you promise.” He pauses. “Very well,” he mumbles while finishing his meal. The only sound is the chewing of his filet mignon. “Can you promise me something else?”

  “Tell me.”

  He wipes his mouth and takes a sip from his glass. “I give you my blessing for you to get engaged,” he announces. “And at this pace, I bet the big day will come sooner than I’d like, but”—he pauses icily on the but—“promise me she’ll only bear children after she graduates.”

  I choke on my wine, taken aback, dazed and confused. Of all the requests Roy could have possibly made, this one is the oddest.

  “Rest assured, we’ve never spoken about kids, Roy. I’m sure Petra is totally focused on her studies.”

  “Good. She’s very young and deeply in love. I need her to keep her feet on the ground. She’s made for greatness—a bright, bold future in finance, Forbes Thirty under Thirty. Can you imagine—she could even be the chairperson of our company when I retire, who knows?” His face glitters with joy and pride as he languorously talks about her future achievements. But his joy suddenly shifts to a cold, censoring stare. “And motherhood is very time-consuming. Children can wait, right?”

  I remain totally baffled and mute. Not only have I never spoken about kids with Petra, but I also have no idea whatsoever what her thoughts are about them. Heck, I don’t even know if she wants to have them. If she’s like her father, it for sure won’t be anytime soon. I don’t want to answer now, but I feel like I have to. After all, Petra told me she’s taking the pill. I just hope she’s doing it right, as I have no intention of ever using condoms with her. I love leaving a part of me inside her. Condoms belong to the past, to those one-night-stand, no-strings-attached relationships and girlfriends I didn’t trust. “Of course. I promise she’ll graduate before having kids.”

  Chapter 25

  Rotterdam, December 24, 2019

  Petra Van Gatt

  My iPhone beeps with a new WhatsApp me
ssage. I grin with joy—it’s Alex. I can’t help but feel something warm in my chest when I get a new text from him. I open and read it. Good evening, Ms. Van Gatt. I imagine you must be at your mother’s house having dinner by now. I have excellent news! Your father and I discussed our intention to get engaged. He’s okay with it, but wants you to graduate from Columbia before we have kids, which I think is totally fine. Right? I’m dying to see you tomorrow. I love you so much. Merry Christmas!

  A big grin emerges on my face, and I text him back. Hi, Merry Christmas! Yes, having dinner now. I’m so happy! That’s great. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow. Love you so damn much.

  “Why are you smiling like that? Any good news to share?” asks Mom, sitting right in front of me.

  “Well...” I lock my iPhone and turn it facedown. “I’m not sure if you really want to know…”

  “Of course I do. What is it?”

  I’m still pondering, my expression hesitant, but I remember I’m finally an adult and, at least here in the Netherlands, I don’t need anyone’s consent anymore. I take a deep breath and proudly say, “Alex and I are getting engaged soon, Mom.”

  “What?” She loudly puts down her silver spoon, gaping in horror, her eyes enraged. “This is a joke, right? Have you lost your mind?” I remain speechless. “Did you… Did you have sex with him?” Now I break eye contact, looking down at my plate. “Oh, dear Lord! Are you fucking insane?”