Zach the Captain

by Anna Joung

  “Yes, yes. I’m sure her Tinder ad was solid gold,” he replied, waving her off. He winced as our Dad glared furiously at him, causing him to sigh with defeat. “Okay, okay. I’ll go out on this stupid date and check her out,” he offered, and Mom nodded her head, her face looking satisfied with his answer.

  “Would you like another brisket, dear?” she asked me kindly, ready to serve me with another piece of meat.

  “As much as I want to, Mom, I just got a text from one of my guys. They want to hang out,” I told her, shaking my head.

  “Oh? But you just got back,” she said, the corners of her lips turning down slightly. I smiled and got up, placing a kiss on her forehead and squeezing her against me in a small hug.

  “I’ll be back tonight, Mom. My furlough is just beginning. You’ll see a lot more of me, I promise,” I assured her.

  “Well, where are you going?” my Dad asked.

  “Uh, to this little barbeque one of my boys got invited to. I think it’s doubling as a baby shower or something,” I replied.

  “Well, that’s new,” Xavier commented, and I shrugged.

  I didn’t care much about the gathering. I was more interested in discovering whether I can get some pussy once I got there.

  Chapter 3

  Emily

  I have never wanted to be in a barbeque party more than today. My parents practically almost suffocated me in that house with all that blind date set that by the time I managed to excuse myself for some (much needed) air, I was praying for a reason to get me out of there ASAP. Right on time, my phone rang and my brother called at that moment and asked when I was going to arrive at their barbeque/baby shower.

  Oh my God, I forgot about that! I was so distracted by this blind date thing that I completely forgot I planned the barbeque baby shower for him and his wife. I told him I was on my way and immediately rang back to the dining room, telling my parents that I had to go “keep an appointment.” I could have told them the truth, but I was about 80% sure that if I had, they’d insist on coming along, and I knew my brother wouldn’t really like that.

  I got to Dwayne and Jann’s place in record time, committing some traffic violations along the way, and texted my brother that I was here. I knocked on the door and Jann answered for me, smiling widely before giving me a big hug.

  “Oh, hey! About time you got here!” she cried, squeezing me a little before closing the door behind me. “We thought the planner was going to be first to get here.”

  “I know, I know, and I’m so sorry!” I said, wincing with regret. “I bought a new car and I was having a lovely morning when…I’ll tell you guys later,” I just ended up sighing. I could tell from Jann’s eyes that she was getting worried about me, and I didn’t want to do that to her. She was a little pregnant lady and the only thing she needed to concern herself with today was this baby shower.

  “Okay, but you know I’m not going to drop this until you do, right?” she replied, and I smirked at her.

  “That is my inevitable fate, yes,” I said, nodding. She smiled and took me towards the backyard, where all the guests were already there, seated and socializing about.

  I spotted a group of guys there that were gathered around Dwayne as he manned the grill. I noticed the similarities in build and one of them was even wearing camo pants, so I could tell that they were also from the Army, if not from the same platoon. I couldn’t help but check them out as I passed by, biting my lip as I furtively looked at how good their asses looked from where I was standing. I wrapped my arm around Jann’s so I could pull her closer to whisper in her ear. “Oh, sweet Jesus, who are those fine ass men?” I asked her, and she giggled, hiding it behind her hand quickly to dull the sound.

  “Those are some of Dwayne’s friends and colleagues. That guy standing next to him? His name is Jason and he’s from the Air Force,” Jann explained. I raised an intrigued eyebrow as I peered at the man in question. His build was a little bit leaner compared to my brother, but that didn’t mean that his muscular chest wasn’t popping through his shirt like the rest of his buddies. “There’s a couple more of his friends about to arrive but…are you interested?”

  I didn’t think I had to answer that. Based on how he looked, I was already interested. I might just see how it goes later.

  “If I were you, though, I would wait until the others arrived,” Jann advised. I furrowed my eyebrows slightly.

  “Why? Do you think they’re going to be better than them?” I asked her. She shrugged.

  “It can’t hurt to hold back,” she replied, and I nodded sagely in agreement. All right, she had a point. I guess I could wait. As she said, it couldn’t hurt to check the others out. I mean, it sounds quite crass and all, but in a way, my parents were right; I haven’t really gone on dates ever since I started building my company, but since they were going way out of their way to do that for me, I think the best way to combat their plot was for me to go on those dates myself. I mean, I’d much rather go on dates with people I picked myself, am I right?

  I was having a perfectly nice time chatting with Jason half an hour later, already waiting for him to ask me for my number so we can meet up again, hopefully. I absent-mindedly tipped my glass to drink, only to curse under my breath when not even a drop fell out. I smiled sultrily at him before making my way to the refreshments table, muttering about how embarrassing that was. I think the rum and Coke combo was also starting to get to me because I was getting a bit of double-vision as I refilled my glass. I pushed through anyway and turned around quickly, raring to get back at where Jason and his other friend, Jeremy was sitting but instead, my newly-filled glass found its way to someone’s pants.

  My mouth fell open in both shock and shame, and I covered my mouth quickly before looking up at the person I just drenched in alcohol and soda. I was at a loss for words. I hate to say it, but Jann was right; this newcomer was a hell of a lot more my speed.

  His eyes were a charcoal grey, contrasting perfectly with his silvery grey hair. His hair was the same color as that guy from Pretty Woman, and it didn’t make him look old as you would expect. His huge muscular body filled most of my sight and the camo pants he was wearing were bulky yet I could tell that he was packing quite the ‘weaponry’ underneath his pants. I blinked rapidly, trying to get myself to focus until I realized he was looking at me like I was a weirdo.

  “I am so sorry,” I said, grabbing a few tissues from the table and patting over his clothes. “Hang on, let me fix it.”

  He growled and grabbed my hand before I could make up for my mistake.

  “I’m fine. Just back off,” he said rudely. My sobriety was coming back and I stared at the man haughtily.

  “Hey, you don’t need to be rude! I said I was sorry!” I cried. He straightened up and looked at me slowly from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.

  “Are you really sorry?” he asked, his voice lowering deeper. His lower register sent a shiver down my spine and I just chalked it up to latent effects of the alcohol I was drinking.

  “Y-yes,” I couldn’t help but stammer. He leaned closer to me and my mind was unable to decide whether I should turn my head away or keep staring up at this beautiful man in front of me. His lips brushed against my ear and he whispered.

  “Maybe next time when you decide to drink yourself stupid, you leave the high heels at home so you don’t have to pay for somebody else’s laundry bill.”

  He walked away and I huffed, glaring at him.

  God. What a jerk.

  I was left with a feeling of shame and embarrassment and I quickly turned back to where I left Jason earlier, hoping to continue the conversation we had before.

  Sadly, he was nowhere to be seen and Dwayne told me he had left to do something important. I sighed heavily.

  Today just isn’t my day.

  Chapter 4

  Zach

  I woke up early the next day, the consequences of jet lag and my inability to keep a certain woman out of my head being the prim
ary reason why I didn’t get much sleep last night.

  I watched her for the rest of the night, talking to Dwayne and his fiancée and walking around with her drink in hand. She purposely avoided coming near me, though, which was just fine with me since it let me observe her better.

  I have to admit she was much prettier than I thought. She was kind of chubby, which was attractive because I liked it more when women had more meat in them instead of being skinny, with those thigh gaps that I never understood why most people these days found so attractive.

  And she was really animated and intelligent too, which was a far cry from most of the women I’ve bedded. You don’t easily find a woman with most of the qualities you want all wrapped up into one, so the fact that she ticked almost all of those boxes was amazing.

  “If you stare at her any longer, mate, she’s going to combust,” Jeremy joked, chuckling before he snapped his head back to take his drink.

  “I’m just appreciating the view, man. Nothing wrong with that,” I replied.

  “Nothing wrong with that at all,” he said, nodding in agreement. “She’s not my type though, to be honest. She’s way too perky for my taste. Too bad you blew your chance with her, though.”

  “What do you mean by that?” I asked, wrinkling my eyebrows inquisitively.

  “Well, you were pretty condescending toward her earlier,” he pointed out. “If she’s even half as smart as you think she is, then she will never give you the time of day.”

  I smirked at him and shook my head. “You’re underestimating me, Jeremy,” I told him.

  “Well, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t,” he replied cheekily.

  “This is true,” I told him.

  We continued drinking and after a couple of hours, I greeted Dwayne and his fiancée goodbye before leaving. I didn’t want to keep drinking until I passed out tonight since I didn’t have a ride home, so I had resolved to keep a straight head. Another reason why I was going home early was that my mom just texted me, telling me to go home early because she wanted me to do something for her. I called a cab to take me home, but when I got there, no one was up so I just went up to my room. I’m pretty sure that whatever it is, she’d tell it to me tomorrow.

  Chapter 5

  Emily

  I got to give my parents some credit: when they want something to happen, they get it done fast. It was only a day after that brunch that my mom called me to say that I was going to dinner with the guy they had set me up with tonight and she wanted to tell me that I need to make a good impression. Like, what the fuck was that? If she wanted me to impress this guy, the least she could’ve done was tell me sooner and not freaking hours before the date. Shit, now I had to go buy a new dress and doll myself up.

  It’s a good thing that I could count on Jann to come with me on emergencies like this, or else I would’ve been majorly fucked. I told her everything that happened and what got me upset in her baby shower the other day and she accepted it and said she’d meet me at the mall, no questions asked. She helped me out with choosing a good dress and to repay her for her trouble, I paid for her as we went to get our makeovers.

  After we finished, Jann told me to give the date a chance despite how much I despised how it came about in the first place. I begrudgingly agreed and then I went to the restaurant where my mom told me that my date and I were supposed to meet.

  The restaurant looked posh and kind of gave me an Old English kind of vibe, and I mentally praised myself for guessing rightly about the dress code. Everyone who was dining here was wearing cocktail dresses or gowns and suits and tuxedoes. It was an extremely high class and pretty intimidating if you weren’t used to this kind of vibe.

  I arrived first and took a seat, looking around the place with mild interest. Forty-five minutes passed and there was still no sight of this guy, and I was losing my patience. Finally, after ten more minutes of waiting, he arrived, and I finally judged my date; he was tall and lean and was wearing a suit and tie that totally mismatched in color, making him look like an idiot. I mentally berated myself for judging the poor man’s taste and tried to find a redeeming quality to him. I mean, he must’ve gotten into some sort of emergency to make him this late, right?

  “Hi, it’s so nice of you to have finally arrived,” I couldn’t help but say, smiling at him forcedly to hide my irritation. He shrugged and took the menu in his hand before raising the other to call the waiter.

  “Yeah, I didn’t really want to come. Let’s just get this over with, shall we?” he said rudely, and I was gobsmacked. Was this guy fucking serious? I mean, that did not just happen, right?

  But nope. Throughout the rest of the dinner, this guy—Xavier, he had grudgingly introduced himself—had done a fantastic job making me feel uncomfortable for the rest of the evening.

  “You know, when my parents told me that I had a blind date, I was expecting you to be fucking ugly,” he admitted during our appetizer. I took a sip of the red wine and forced a smile on my face. Calm down, Emily, I kept repeating to myself. Maybe it’s just his skewed sense of humor.

  “It’s funny. I usually don’t go out with fat girls, but you don’t look half bad,” he said during lunch.

  Was that supposed to be a compliment?

  “What do you do for a living?” he asked, and I thanked the heavens because he finally asked me a normal question. I quickly patted my mouth clean before answering.

  “I run an events planning company.”

  He snorted. He fucking snorted.

  “Events planning? That’s actually a legit profession?” he asked snidely.

  Oh, hell no. He literally did every deplorable thing you can do in a date, including farting loudly and chewing with your mouth open. I tried so hard to talk to him and get to know him better, but he just made it so fucking difficult that I went to the only thing that could dull my disappointment and let me go through the rest of this date smoothly—alcohol.

  “Wow, girly. You are knocking that table wine real hard,” he commented, his eyebrows raising in amusement. I was sufficiently inebriated now to not give a fuck about what he thought anymore and just gave him a narrowed stare. “So…you want to do something different after this?” he asked suggestively.

  …Is he serious? He isn’t asking what I think he is, is he?

  I felt his foot rubbing against my ankle and I quickly tucked my feet into my seat, staring at him in surprise. He smirked and placed his hand on top of mine instead, rubbing my knuckles like a sleazy fuck.

  “I think if we got on it, we could shave off a few more pounds out of you…”

  Alright. I have had it with this guy.

  I stood up and took the glass of water and threw it on his face, shocking the hell out of him. I pulled a wad of bills out of my purse and placed it on the side of my plate before picking up my purse.

  “You can go fuck yourself, repulsive piece of shit,” I said, my words slurring a little. Damn it, it was awful that I had to get this inebriated to last through this date, but I sure as hell know no one can blame me for it.

  I backed away, hitting something hard behind and I felt two giant arms pull me away quickly before the big vase I accidentally knocked over fell on the wooden floor, shattering everywhere. I looked up at my rescuer and was surprised to see that it was that handsome but rude guy in the barbeque and I chuckled under my breath. This was fucking hilarious.

  “I’m a magnet for douchebags!” I cried, slapping his chest lightly. His face stayed hard as he told the waiter he was going to pay for the broken vase and then told me he was getting me out of here. “Why are you here anyway? Do assholes like eating in this place?”

  “Shut up. You’re too drunk. I’m going to take you home,” he said strictly.

  “Ooh, scary,” I mumbled. I fished out my phone from my purse and dialed Jann’s number, growling as it kept going to voicemail. “What the hell am I going to do now?”

  “Hey!” he cried, and I spun around to look at him quickly…maybe a little too qui
ckly. My vision doubled started spinning, forcing me to double over to the side of the restaurant and puke my guts out. Right after I puked, I leaned my body on the wall and started to pass out, the last thing I heard was the sound of my name being called.

  Chapter 6

  Zach

  I took Emily home, texting Dwayne that his sister was plastered and asked that I was going to drive her car back home and leaving the keys at her apartment. I didn’t bother waiting for a reply and just rifled through her little bag for her ID and her keys, inputting her address on my GPS. I laid her on the passenger seat, taking my overshirt off and then covering her with it because I didn’t want her to get cold.

  I was shaking my head the whole time, cursing under my breath every once in a while. I couldn’t believe what I had witnessed in there. I mean, when my mom told me to keep an eye on Xavier’s date, I thought she was crazy. But the moment Emily walked into the fucking restaurant, I couldn’t help but clench my fists in anger. I had not been able to get this girl out of my mind ever since I met her, and here was this guy—my own fucking brother, no less, making her wait almost an hour and then treating her like shit. Like, Jesus, man! What the fuck was his problem? Oh, he better be ready to get some ass-whooping tomorrow, because I was not going to let the motherfucker slide.

  I stopped at a red light and sighed, turning my head to watch Emily sleep. Damn it, she was so fucking beautiful. If I were my brother, I would’ve gotten to the restaurant fifteen minutes early just so I could spend more time with her.

  “Fucking Xavier,” I muttered. I really didn’t know why he was acting like that. It wasn’t like him at all.

  “Oh wow, you’re a tall glass of water,” I heard Emily slur, and I looked at her in surprise. Her eyes were glassy and bleary at the same time, her cheeks flushed from the alcohol. I could do nothing as she reached out and touched my lips with her finger, misaligning them a little as she dragged the digit down. “Have we met before?” she asked, tilting her head to the side.